Guest guest Posted May 14, 1999 Report Share Posted May 14, 1999 , They're learning more and more about how our emotional state can affect our physical condition. I also think that stress can cause illness. I think that many doctors do now, too. When I was first going into transplant evaluation one of the transplant coordinators told me that I shouldn't even fill out the forms because it might cause too much stress and make my condition worse. I don't know if it was just her opinion or if it was something they'd already concluded at that particular facility. I'm sorry to hear that you went through what you did with your brother. I did basically the same with my brother who died from pancreatic cancer. I was with him most of every day, from the day I took him to an emergency hospital, through the tests and diagnosis, until his death 6 weeks after he was diagnosed. I was the last person he spoke to before he slipped into a coma and I didn't know until then what grief could feel like. I've read that sibling relationships are often closer even than parent and child. For many, that's true. Take care, Geri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 26, 1999 Report Share Posted June 26, 1999 Stressors: Death Marriage Having or adopting a child Marital Strife Major Illness Chronic Illness Family Strife New Job Loss of Job Building A House Buying A House Starting School Leaving Home Vacation Earthquakes, Floods, Tornadoes, Hurricanes Etc. Those are all major stressors. Anyone of those could cause an excerabation of symptoms. In 1994 my family experienced: 1.) Buying a fixer house 2.) Began repairing house 3.) Marital Strife [due to everyone having Lyme Disease] 4.) Vacation 5.) I was still recovering from pneumonia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 26, 1999 Report Share Posted June 26, 1999 and pregnancy!!! I went from being a full-time legal secretary and mom....then after my second son was born....became bedridden within months!! And remained that way for two years!! ugh. Anita Re: [Lyme-aid] stress >From: Kiana Rossi <bornfree@...> > >Stressors: > >Death >Marriage >Having or adopting a child >Marital Strife >Major Illness >Chronic Illness >Family Strife >New Job >Loss of Job >Building A House >Buying A House >Starting School >Leaving Home >Vacation >Earthquakes, Floods, Tornadoes, Hurricanes >Etc. > >Those are all major stressors. Anyone of those could cause an excerabation >of symptoms. In 1994 my family experienced: > >1.) Buying a fixer house >2.) Began repairing house >3.) Marital Strife [due to everyone having Lyme Disease] >4.) Vacation >5.) I was still recovering from pneumonia > > > >--------------------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 27, 1999 Report Share Posted June 27, 1999 also getting a promotion, moving to a new residence... stress can come from positive incidents, also... having animals lessens the stress ! elizabeth (MD) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 27, 1999 Report Share Posted June 27, 1999 Hi , Welcome to the list, and you are quite right about the added responsibilities of a promotion causing stress. I agree about pets helping us to cope, they are always there for us, and never talk back or condemn. Hugs, Marta NJ >From: Shasus@... > >also getting a promotion, moving to a new residence... stress can come from >positive incidents, also... > >having animals lessens the stress ! > >elizabeth (MD) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 27, 1999 Report Share Posted June 27, 1999 J & M McCoy wrote: > > From: " J & M McCoy " <mlmccoy@...> > > Hi , > Welcome to the list, and you are quite right about the added > responsibilities of a promotion causing stress. I agree about pets helping > us to cope, they are always there for us, and never talk back or condemn. > Hugs, > Marta NJ > Dear Marta: IT DEPENDS ON THE PET!!! In November, I went on IV for the first time, so I needed someone to keep me company. What did I get???? A pet cockatoo!! He is very pretty, but he screeches when he is unhappy. When he's worried or just being sociable he says " Hi baby! " Lovette Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 28, 1999 Report Share Posted June 28, 1999 Hi Lovette, LOL, what were you thinking? You better keep that bird constantly happy. I was thinking of getting one of those for my Dad who had a stroke, good thing I read this before I went out to price them. I guess you should have considered a lovebird that coos. Did you know that many people in the Cape May County area of NJ are allowed to keep guinea hens at their residential area homes? The reason is they eat ticks, the only drawback is they are very noisy, and drive everyone nuts. Hope you are feeling better on that IV, and thanks for answering Lea about the stealth virus. Hugs, Marta (NJ) >From: " F. Mott " <smott@...> >> >Dear Marta: IT DEPENDS ON THE PET!!! In November, I went on IV for the >first time, so I needed someone to keep me company. What did I get???? >A pet cockatoo!! He is very pretty, but he screeches when he is >unhappy. When he's worried or just being sociable he says " Hi baby! " > >Lovette Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 1999 Report Share Posted July 20, 1999 Sue, I also think that there's a definite connection between flareups of AIH and maybe any autoimmune disease and stress. It's been known for a long time that stress lowers our resistance to disease, but also, stress triggers the adrenal glands (adrenaline) which might increase our immune system's reactions. Since our immune systems are our worst enemies, when it's heightened, it attacks some part of our body. That might sound contradictory, but it does make some kind of crazy sense. Stress is, of course, unavoidable in the normal course of life. Even though most of us can tie the onset of our illness into some exceptionally stressful situation, how can we avoid things like death of a loved one, loss of a job, marriage problems and even work pressures? We can't live in a bubble and I don't think most of us would want to, I hope things are going okay for you now and that whatever was going on has eased. Now, get those labs back to normal! Did your doctor increase your Prednisone again? How long had you been in remission? I was measuring my own progress beside yours since our conditions have been so similar. What does your doctor think about all this? Take care, Geri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 1999 Report Share Posted July 20, 1999 Geri: I never found out what the pain is from but if it happens again I am going to call the Mayo Clinic. As for my labs it is getting better every week. I am on 10 prednisone and 50 Imuran. I won't be able to try again until six months from the letter I got yesterday from Dr Czaja. He will be seeing me in September and he is going to do another bone dentistry test. Sue AIH Wisconsin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 1999 Report Share Posted July 20, 1999 Geri, Yeah, my doc increased my pred. It is about 2 1/2 months since the " Official " remission. The specialist has been in touch with my GP and she wanted me back in the hospital, but I can do what is necessary from here. I do not want to go back in there. 13 times in 2 years is enough for me. They are only going to do what I am doing from home (with the help of my doc). I am to have more blood tests on Thursday and see her then. Unfortunately I know today there has been no improvement. I can tell myself when the numbers are up, and the pain has increased as has the nausea. My specialist thinks it is just a flare-up and the increase in the pred will put me back on track. Say a little prayer for me for that to be true. I am. Having the pain really lowers the resistance though. Hard to get my mental attitude back on track. Just feeling pretty low at present. SueB. ---------- > From: Geri Spang <spangs@...> > onelist > Subject: Re: [ ] Stress > Date: Tuesday, 20 July 1999 19:22 > > From: Geri Spang <spangs@...> > > Sue, > I also think that there's a definite connection between flareups of AIH and > maybe any autoimmune disease and stress. It's been known for a long time > that stress lowers our resistance to disease, but also, stress triggers the > adrenal glands (adrenaline) which might increase our immune system's > reactions. Since our immune systems are our worst enemies, when it's > heightened, it attacks some part of our body. That might sound > contradictory, but it does make some kind of crazy sense. > > Stress is, of course, unavoidable in the normal course of life. Even > though most of us can tie the onset of our illness into some exceptionally > stressful situation, how can we avoid things like death of a loved one, > loss of a job, marriage problems and even work pressures? We can't live in > a bubble and I don't think most of us would want to, > > I hope things are going okay for you now and that whatever was going on has > eased. Now, get those labs back to normal! Did your doctor increase your > Prednisone again? How long had you been in remission? I was measuring my > own progress beside yours since our conditions have been so similar. What > does your doctor think about all this? > Take care, > Geri > > --------------------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 21, 1999 Report Share Posted July 21, 1999 hi You know I kinda feel the same way about the stress thing and the immune system. Because when I feel any stress at all that is when my liver and side effects with fatigue sets in.. ?? Dixie AIH Geri Spang wrote: > From: Geri Spang <spangs@...> > > Sue, > I also think that there's a definite connection between flareups of AIH and > maybe any autoimmune disease and stress. It's been known for a long time > that stress lowers our resistance to disease, but also, stress triggers the > adrenal glands (adrenaline) which might increase our immune system's > reactions. Since our immune systems are our worst enemies, when it's > heightened, it attacks some part of our body. That might sound > contradictory, but it does make some kind of crazy sense. > > Stress is, of course, unavoidable in the normal course of life. Even > though most of us can tie the onset of our illness into some exceptionally > stressful situation, how can we avoid things like death of a loved one, > loss of a job, marriage problems and even work pressures? We can't live in > a bubble and I don't think most of us would want to, > > I hope things are going okay for you now and that whatever was going on has > eased. Now, get those labs back to normal! Did your doctor increase your > Prednisone again? How long had you been in remission? I was measuring my > own progress beside yours since our conditions have been so similar. What > does your doctor think about all this? > Take care, > Geri > > --------------------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 24, 1999 Report Share Posted July 24, 1999 Sue, I don't know how long I've been in remission but I think a lot longer than you have. They didn't bother to use the term when talking to me - still haven't. They just tell me that I'm doing exceptionally well and they don't think I'll ever need a transplant. Hope their crystal balls aren't cracked. Thirteen hospitalizations in two years!!! Have you hung curtains in your hospital room yet? It sounds like they're giving you a home away from home though you clearly would rather not accept their generosity. The blood tests apparently tell all as far as my doctors are concerned. I don't know if they're being too short sighted, but I do feel basically normal so they must have a reason for trusting them. I know that you were at least on the same level of optimisim I'm on right now so the lab elevations must have been a real blow. Feeling worse isn't a good sign either. I'm a little late getting back to you, but what did they find when they did the labs on Thursday (the 22nd.?) I hope nothing too disturbing. Going back on pred wouldn't be the worst thing that could happen if it brings you back into remission. I wouldn't care if I had to increase it, as long as it worked. I hope you're feeling better today than you were a few days ago. Take care, Geri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 27, 1999 Report Share Posted July 27, 1999 Geri, Thanks for your concern. Seems it was just some strange flare up. The numbers are coming down again, ever so slowly, but still coming down. They increased the pred. So when I stabilise they will start reducing again. Today is the best day I have had for almost 3 weeks. Touch wood. I hope you are feeling good too. Nice to know someone is where I am at, and can compare notes. SueB. ---------- > From: Geri Spang <spangs@...> > onelist > Subject: Re: [ ] Stress > Date: Saturday, 24 July 1999 19:22 > > From: Geri Spang <spangs@...> > > Sue, > I don't know how long I've been in remission but I think a lot longer than > you have. They didn't bother to use the term when talking to me - still > haven't. They just tell me that I'm doing exceptionally well and they > don't think I'll ever need a transplant. Hope their crystal balls aren't > cracked. > > Thirteen hospitalizations in two years!!! Have you hung curtains in your > hospital room yet? It sounds like they're giving you a home away from home > though you clearly would rather not accept their generosity. > > The blood tests apparently tell all as far as my doctors are concerned. I > don't know if they're being too short sighted, but I do feel basically > normal so they must have a reason for trusting them. > > I know that you were at least on the same level of optimisim I'm on right > now so the lab elevations must have been a real blow. Feeling worse isn't > a good sign either. I'm a little late getting back to you, but what did > they find when they did the labs on Thursday (the 22nd.?) I hope nothing > too disturbing. Going back on pred wouldn't be the worst thing that could > happen if it brings you back into remission. I wouldn't care if I had to > increase it, as long as it worked. > > I hope you're feeling better today than you were a few days ago. > Take care, > Geri > > > --------------------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 11, 2000 Report Share Posted June 11, 2000 Hi group: Thought I would add my two cents about stress and the onset of RA. Mine came on after my Significant Other had been very sick for months. It was an extremely stressful time for both of us. However, reading " The New Arthritis Breakthrough " I realized I had been suffering with unusual fatigue for many months before the joint problems started. I used to joke that I could sleep 12 hours a day. It never occurred to me (Duh) that needing that much sleep was abnormal. Rhonda ---------- >From: rheumaticegroups >rheumaticegroups >Subject: Digest Number 853 >Date: Sun, Jun 11, 2000, 12:19 AM > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Never lose a file again. Protect yourself from accidental deletes, > overwrites, and viruses with @Backup. > Try @Backup it's easy, it's safe, and it's FREE! > Click here to receive 300 MyPoints just for trying @Backup. > 1/4936/0/_/532797/_/960707969/ > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > To unsubscribe, email: rheumatic-unsubscribeegroups > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > There are 21 messages in this issue. > > Topics in this digest: > > 1. Re: Stress as Cause--Re: Digest Number 849 > From: " Gail " <gail@...> > 2. Re: Stress as Cause--Re: Digest Number 849 > From: " mahay " <mahay@...> > 3. Re: Stress as trigger > From: " " <clearsig@...> > 4. Re: Biaxin vs Zithromax > From: " Ken and " <kglg@...> > 5. Re: Biaxin vs Zithromax > From: " Briarwood " <briarwood@...> > 6. Re: Re: Stress as trigger > From: <pinto@...> > 7. Re: Fw: St 's Wort Warning > From: <pinto@...> > 8. Re: Fw: St 's Wort Warning > From: Ute Reeves <nowyoga@...> > 9. Dr. > From: Snooks <emsnooks@...> > 10. Re: Dr. > From: " And Martha " <gmsmith@...> > 11. Re: certo > From: " Carol Wilkie " <carol@...> > 12. neurontin and pain/depression > From: " Gloria Tate " <MissGloria@...> > 13. home......... > From: " joeysala " <joeysala@...> > 14. Infectious Arthritis--Article. > From: " Liz G. " <pioneer@...> > 15. RE: Infectious Arthritis--Article. > From: " Mike Stahl " <mstahl@...> > 16. Re: Infectious Arthritis--Article. > From: " Liz G. " <pioneer@...> > 17. Fw: Mycoplasma Question > From: " " <higgy@...> > 18. Re: home......... > From: Probert <elbows@...> > 19. 's back > From: Trickey <jrtrick@...> > 20. Re KAK worm > From: " Yensen " <syensen@...> > 21. Encouragement > From: KAustin23456@... > > > ________________________________________________________________________ > ________________________________________________________________________ > > Message: 1 > Date: Sat, 10 Jun 2000 19:50:25 +1200 > From: " Gail " <gail@...> > Subject: Re: Stress as Cause--Re: Digest Number 849 > > Mine came on after a particularly stressful episode in an already stressful > new job ( I was nearly a year into it). I thought I was having a nervous > breakdown! Couldn't stop crying. I regained my equilibrium after about a > week and after calling a meeting to discuss it.But then the pain and > swelling started and it became torture even to walk. Once diagnosed, I > concluded the stress had brought it on. > Gail > > ---------- >>From: Probert <elbows@...> >> " Liz G. " <pioneer@...>, rheumaticegroups >>Subject: Re: Stress as Cause--Re: rheumatic Digest Number 849 >>Date: Fri, 9 Jun 2000 6:05 AM >> > >>Liz >> >>I would agree more with your take on this. I was happy as a clam the day my >>arthritis hit, but do agree that stress makes the disease worse, and >>moreover, having a painful chronic disease makes it all the more difficult >>to deal with stressful situations which we come upon. >> >>Jean >> >> >>> >>>> How many of you were severly emotionally depressed or terribly >>>> stressed just prior to the onset of your disease? >>> >>> Negative here, I had the first signs of this since childhood, and had >>> very little stress then. Stress does seem to make me worse symptomatically, >>> though, reducing my ability to cope with the pain and fatigue, and making me >>> more likely to catch other illnesses that contribute to flare-ups by >>> generally running me down. >>> I also flared badly after drastic hormonal changes, like after puberty, >>> after miscarriages, and after childbirth and nursing. So I have to vote >>> against stress being a direct causative factor, but in favor of it being an >>> exacerbating factor, once the disease is there, at least in my own >>> particular case. >>> I've noticed a lot of people on the fibro newsgroup say that their fibro >>> was triggered by a shock or other stressful experience like a surgery. I >>> wonder if it is not the case that these diseases lurk for a long time, >>> producing little or no symptoms, then a stress/shock can make it worse and >>> bring it into the foreground. It is easy to dismiss the early symptoms like >>> fatigue, achiness, sleep problems, or to assign them to other causes or just >>> plain hypochondria/whining, just ask some of the doctors in my past! #; 0 >>> Do I believe that my health problems are the fault of my inability to keep >>> my cool, my love for chaos, my overgrown imagination, the vast (not!) >>> complications of my former humble non-Type-A career goals?......well, better >>> men and women than me have said as much, LOL, but I'm not buying into that. >>> <G> Now don't anyone get stressed out over my humble opinions......Be well, >>> and Blessings to you all, Liz G >>> >>> >>> ------------------------------------------------------------------------ >>> Take 20 friends to Vegas on New Year's courtesy of Expedia.com. >>> Win the airfare, a suite at Bellagio and $15,000. Or win 2 roundtrip >>> tickets anywhere in the U.S. given away daily. Click for a chance to win. >>> 1/5294/0/_/532797/_/960485961/ >>> ------------------------------------------------------------------------ >>> >>> To unsubscribe, email: rheumatic-unsubscribeegroups >>> >>> >> >> >>------------------------------------------------------------------------ >>Remember four years of good friends, bad clothes, explosive chemistry >>experiments. >>1/4051/0/_/532797/_/960488182/ >>------------------------------------------------------------------------ >> >>To unsubscribe, email: rheumatic-unsubscribeegroups >> >> > > > ________________________________________________________________________ > ________________________________________________________________________ > > Message: 2 > Date: Sat, 10 Jun 2000 03:43:16 -0000 > From: " mahay " <mahay@...> > Subject: Re: Stress as Cause--Re: Digest Number 849 > > Hello: > > Stress has been a major factor in my case. After a very stressful year at > work, RA set in and now if I let stress get out of control, it affects me. > > Mado > Re: Biaxin vs Zithromax > > , I don't think Zithromax helped me at all and in fact, I seem to be > worse since going on it. My SED rate has gone up, my hemoglobin down, I > feel more tired and am wondering if I'm flaring now. While taking it, (Jan > 9-mid May), I found it caused stomach problems on the days I took it. But > we're all different, and it may help you. > > > (RA 23+ years, AP since Nov. 97) > > Encouragement > > Hi group, > I am definitely in need of encouragement tonight. I have been on AP since > March. I have had Lupus since 1982, polymiocytis since 84. Several other > diseases thrown in there. Every new doc means a new dx. I really thing they > are all the same disease, just manifested differentely for different people. > I have been feeling rather well on AP and was really quite proud of myself. I > had taken myself off of methotrexate 5 weeks ago and was doing fine without. > I told my GP that on Tues and I fired my rheumy on Friday. By Friday evening, > I was having major difficulty swallowing. This was the symptom of the miocyts > that sent me to methotrexate 4 years ago. I am very discouraged and nervous. > I now have no rheumy to folloow me and I'm afraid if I tell my GP that > symptoms are back he will declare it a failure and stop prescribing for me. > Plus I need someone to tell me what to do about the swallowing problem. I > went to her before (the first time) and she referred me to a GI doc who was > no help at all. Then I went to a ENT, neurologist, rheumy. None of whom could > tell me what was wrong. They ran every torturous test they could think of. I > gave up on them and started with another rhemy who wanted me to make the > rounds again. I said no to all of the tests I had had before, but he did have > some new ones up his sleeve. Then his dx was that it was all in my head. I > had been telling every all along that it was myositis in the muscles of the > pharynx, but noone wanted to listen to the lowly patient. My rheumy finally > tried methotrexate when I refuse a psychiatrist. And lo and behold, it > worked. It must have been myositis all along!! > All of this was out of pocket as my health insurance plan at work had kicked > me off (illegally I might add) because I had lupus. lupus wasn't the half of > it. All of this coupled with many panic attacks when I felt like I was > choking on something. Of course the wonderful ER docs dx me as being > hysterical. Well hell yes I was hysterical I thought I was going to chock on > a foreign body or my own saliva and die!! > I made a huge promise to myself that I would not put my family into financial > ruin because of my health problems again. We are just now clawing our way out > of the hole and I don't want to go back there. > There is a doctor in Norman, OK who is on the list for oral and IV but I know > little about him. Has anyone been to him? His name is Haglund.There is > also a doctor that I could probably get my HMO to refer me to, though I am > sure that they wouldn't pay for the antibiotics. Maybe they would pay for the > office visit. (Employer relented with a little encouraging from the feds so I > now how insurance), I know this doc does chelation so maybe he does AP also. > I think that I really need to IV. If I go to either one of these docs does > anybody have any idea I might expect to pay for a consult and then for IV > therapy? > I just found out that the rheumy I fired on Friday charged $140 for spending > a minute and a half with me. Great racket. > Anyway I am very discouraged and depressed and don't know what to do. My last > episode of being able to only swallow thin liquids lasted 3 years (all while > I was on 40mg of prednisone a day - so I was ravenous and couln't eat). > I'm totally convinced that the AP is what I need. I was cultured for > mycoplasmas at two different times in my long journey. Both times I was told > that they were " inconsequential " . The second episode the medical director of > our state health department sent the culture to the CDC who made the dx. They > both said no treatment necessary. Has anyone else experienced the dysphasia? > It is the part of these diseases I hage dreaded the most and now it is back. > And me without any one to tell me what to do about it. > Thanks for listening, > A > > > ________________________________________________________________________ > ________________________________________________________________________ > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 7, 2001 Report Share Posted November 7, 2001 Stress is definitely a factor. Everytime my son starts a new semester in school or has exams, his lft's shoot up. Don't know how to avoid it. Wish I did. Rosemary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 26, 2002 Report Share Posted March 26, 2002 Hi Ben.... I am trying to test to see if anyone is getting my posts to Dr. s list...can you reply to let me know if you are getting this... Thanks, Jael Ben Simonton <bensimo@...> wrote: Jan and others,You asked for info on handling stress so here it is.My area of expertise is managing people in the boss-junior relationship. Thefollowing is an excerpt from my book on that subject. This excerpt is ageneraltreatment of behaviors including stress that we'd rather get rid of, all ofthem regretably learned somehow, we know not how. I have not included thatpart of the book which gave an explanation of how we originally produceddysfunctional behaviors.Anyone with questions, just ask me. I produced this procedure and itsunderstanding on my own without help from others. This was a part of mylife. I am not a doctor of anything and the below is not medical advice.Best regards, BenUNDERSTANDING PERSONAL BEHAVIORSAND HOW TO CHANGE THEMAppendix A covered the Whys and Hows of successfully dealing with workplaceconditions not covered in the book's main body. Every workplace condition isa potential cause of frustration and demotivation if we don't handle itproperly.But what of the effects from these causes, the frustration itself or otherpersonal behaviors such as stress or bad morale from which so many of ussuffer? If frustration or stress has become a habit, is there no way to turnit around and avert further damage to #1, #2 and #3?In this Appendix we will examine the Whys and Hows of eight personalbehaviors which limit us in ways none of us need. They are our personality,likes and dislikes, ego and prestige, assumptions, bad morale, badattitudes, stress and emotionalism. All of these are hazards which interferewith our quality of life and degrade our professional and personalperformance. These hazards are often considered as "only being human", butthey cause violations of Value Standards and seriously get in the way ofexcellence. While bosses are more susceptible to them than are working-levelpeople, each of the eight can be removed.First, we need a sound understanding of behavior in general before we candiscuss the eight specific ones. What exactly is Behavior? How do we goabout creating it? And most importantly, how can we change it? For reasonswhich will become obvious, I call this the "3x5 Card" Principle.The Human BrainThe brain! What a fantastic device. Many books have been written about itand this is no attempt to summarize what others have said. Rather, my goalis to impart a simple, easy to understand model of the brain which explainsyour own human behavior. Using this model, you can then proceed to developand change your own behavior as a boss. Using this model, you can also helpothers to change their behavior.Understanding human nature is, in my opinion, very dependent upon thedirection from which one approaches. In my own search for humanunderstanding, studying digital computers proved invaluable. In thebeginning, I was struck with the realization that the computer could onlyadd two numbers or compare them to determine if they are the same. I thenlearned how these two functions are manipulated to produce multiplication(adding many times), subtraction (negative addition), file searches and thelike. And then I was amazed to find that these simple actions can bearranged by writers of computer programs to produce chess playing computerswhich lose only to the best players.Computers are also very fast. Individual actions take place at the rate ofat least many millions each second. The computer can thus appear to a humanbeing to be doing many things simultaneously. This is only an appearance,because our reference point is the speed of our Conscious Brain which isvery slow by comparison. Could the speed of a computer compare to that ofthe Sub-Conscious Brain?I also learned computers never make mistakes. That is, the computer alwayscarries out the exact instructions (program) provided to it and always usesthe exact data provided to it. If the program is flawed, the result isgarbage. And if the data is in error, garbage-in produces garbage-out. Butthe program itself is always executed flawlessly, without error, on the dataprovided.I began to realize that the human brain, in order to carry out a multitudeof required body and mind functions, must be similarly constructed andtherefore the Sub-Conscious Brain is most likely methodical, predictable andrepeatable, even flawless --just like computers. I recommend some study ofcomputers in order to develop your own understanding. The terms compute,program, algorithm, decision tree, memory, data base, re-program, faultyprogramming and garbage-in garbage-out directly parallel the behavior of ourhuman brain. Humans often have a lot of bum dope to feed theircomputer-brain and the programming/decision tree may be flawed as well. Sothey also have lots of opportunities for flawed decisions or garbage out.Programs for RacingThe simple example of a race car driver best illustrates what thesub-conscious brain does for us. The driver I have in mind wins races withcars that travel at 200 miles per hour. At those speeds, the driver haslittle time for conscious thought in order to direct actions which must takeplace in the next 2 seconds. The speed of conscious thought is far too slowfor such a purpose, so we use the term "fast reactions" or "reflex actions"to describe how the car is quickly maneuvered to avoid an accident or totake advantage of a momentary opportunity to pass the driver ahead. What'sreally going on?When first learning to drive a car we have to literally tell our limbs witha conscious order when to push the brake, when to engage the clutch, when topull the steering wheel to the right, when to shift, etc. We can allremember these thoughts as we first learned how to drive, but we rarelyremember when we ceased having to think about it. Timing the clutch and thegear shift lever were particularly critical and an error ground gears andproduced very jerky starts and stops. But soon, after many Repetitions, thisbecame of no concern -- it became properly executed through an effectiveprogram.As we learn how to drive through Repetition, we pass action control fromthe Conscious to our Sub-Conscious brain. The normal experienced driverthinks in the Conscious about going to the store and where it is while theSub-Conscious gets him/her in the car, puts the seat belt on, starts thecar, backs out and gets the car moving on the road. Very little Consciousthought is expended on the actual driving once we have learned how to do it,once we've programmed our Sub-Conscious. What the eyes see is sent to theSub-Conscious which evaluates the scene (the data) for action based oncriteria (more data) previously provided, such as where the store is and howfast to drive. If after using the program and data a decision for action isgenerated, the Sub-Conscious (through programs) orders muscle actions,hundreds of them, in order to carry out the action.When the action is in response to external conditions, such as stop lightsand other cars coming close, we call this AUTOMATIC! In truth, the programwas constructed to use sensors (eyes and ears) to provide data at regularintervals. The program then evaluates this data against programmed Standardssuch as too close for cars or red/green for lights in order to decide onaction. The program then sends a routine set of instructions to our handsand legs in order to carry out the chosen action. If done without consciousthought, we call it "automatic".Think of a high jumper who has tried to "program" the Sub-Conscious toproduce that perfect sequence of muscle actions which will result in jumpingover, not touching, the bar. Think of the sheer number of different muscleactions which must be directed by the Sub-Conscious almost simultaneously.Think of learning from the coach over a period of years all the littlethings which must happen to be successful. Think of the fact that the jumpitself is over in a couple of seconds and that Conscious Brain speed is fartoo slow to direct the thousands of required actions in the correctsequence. But the Sub-Conscious can do it all if the Conscious Brain takesthe time to program and practice action, build muscle strength, program theSub-Conscious and practice, again and again and AGAIN.Let's return to the race car driver. After learning to drive a normal car,the driver quickly finds that some of the things which were learned fornormal driving aren't helpful for racing. The Sub-Conscious was programmedto slow the car down considerably before entering a sharp corner, anautomatic response. Since the race car has cornering capabilities far beyondthose of the normal passenger car, this response will lose a lot of races ifnot changed. So the driver begins to force him/herself (reprogram theSub-Conscious) to take the corners faster. This means the Sub-Conscious hasno stored knowledge (data) of what that looks like and thus can make nocomparisons to decide the correct speed. Therefore, Conscious has to takeover a normal Sub-Conscious function in order to re-program. Oncereprogrammed to go faster and faster into sharp corners, the Sub-Conscioushas gained a new history or new data base of visual comparisons. We can sayit has been reprogrammed to recognize the new "too fast" or "too slow" rulesbased on a race car versus a passenger car.Actually, the Sub-Conscious must be taught many new conditions andcircumstances that did not appear to exist in normal driving. Once learned,technology changes occur which also require new responses. Sub-Consciousmust be taught new techniques for handling these so it can continue tosuccessfully manage a 200 mph problem. If Conscious does a great job ofprogramming and testing, Sub-Conscious can handle most 200 mph problemswithout crashing. Quite a motivator! What if the person had decided that "Ican't!"? The racing challenge is to be able to re-program and provide datato the Sub-Conscious as the situation dictates. What are the operatingcharacteristics of the other cars and drivers and at what point on the trackcan they best be passed? How are track conditions changing? Conscious Brainspends time on these in order to prepare Sub-Conscious (by checking programsand data) since there will be no time for such during the fractions of asecond available to Sub-Conscious for analysis, decision-making and actionat 200 mph. If Sub-Conscious can't detect through the eyeballs an oil slick(data), determine correct action and execute it perfectly (a superiorprogram), the result may well be a crash. If Conscious brain talks too muchor worries too much, it may distract the Sub-Conscious (loss ofconcentration) and result in a crash.ConclusionThe significant conclusion is, in order to meet the needs of speed inexecution, the Conscious Brain creates a program, a specific set ofinstructions in the Sub-Conscious. And only considerable Repetition allowsthe program to become more and more complete and to eventually include anAutomatic initiator feature. Automatics are a prerequisite to achievingexcellence in race car driving where time is a real problem.However, automatics and speed are unnecessary and, in fact, totallyinappropriate for business interactions between humans. Because we didn'tunderstand this, we programmed our Sub-Conscious to conduct some of ourroutines in life. This is a source of dysfunctional behavior, our problemsin dealing with other people and events.Do not fail to appreciate that the Conscious Brain has no real habits orprograms. It can easily be taught new things and it can change instantly, ondemand so to speak. It is not capable of the great speeds of theSub-Conscious Brain, but it is infinitely more flexible. The ConsciousBrain's capacity for reasoning and creating action from this reasoning iswhat differentiates us from other living species. And only the ConsciousBrain can program and/or reprogram the Sub-Conscious where all the programsreside.The point is, when interacting with people or routine events, such as workor traffic jams, the Conscious Brain should always be used, not theSub-Conscious. But we need a few more details before arriving at the fix.Growing UpProgramming is mostly done unconsciously (without a clear decision to doso) when we are young. Programs exist only in the Sub-Conscious and only tocreate action. The action could be internal such as increased heartbeat,worry, anxiety, strong emotion or a boiling Gut. It could be external suchas facial expression, eye movement, twitching, hand or leg motion and thelike. Internal means not necessarily detectable by others. Internal andexternal actions could be simultaneous and could range from being consistentto inconsistent (appearing to be cool on the outside while boiling on theinside). These actions or reactions were not with us at birth and must belearned and developed.This process of developing behavior or habits was described in the Chapter2 section "Behavior Without Value Standards". All of us were forced to dosome copying just to develop some behavior since we started with none,Followers and Non-Followers alike. We see examples and we copy them.Beyond copying what we see and hear, our behavior is strongly influenced bythe demands of our parents and other authoritarians bent on making usFollow. These often cause negative reactions and therefore the resultingprograms are dysfunctional. The theory and the result were adequatelyexplained for subordinates in Chapter 6, Support Through Direction, and areas applicable to the parent-child as to the boss-junior relationship.Of course, we not only create programs for external behavior, what we doand say, but also for internal responses such as emotions or adrenaline flowor stress. Signals from the Good-Bad compass of our Gut are often used totrigger a Sub-Conscious program creating what we call an "emotionalresponse". Reactions which result in an emotional response have beenlearned/programmed. These can be reactions to failure, criticism, the othersex, other races, responsibility, bosses, finances, weather, road traffic,security, etc., etc. The rule is that emotions which go beyond being signalsfrom the Gut of Good or Bad are generally dysfunctional.Reprogramming using the 3x5 Card PrincipleThe first and most important point to the above is that we are notprogrammed by others. Only we can do this programming of our Sub-Conscious.It is presently physically impossible for someone else to do it for us. Andtherefore, our right to make a Choice permits us to decide whether to do itor not. This is what 5S people do whether they know it or not.The second is that we can re-program at any time. It matters not what thedysfunctionality is. We could have been born into:1. a wealthy family wherein we learned to disrespect and arrogantly lookdown on the financially less fortunate.2. a family on the dole wherein the world appears as a place of no hope andwe resort to violence or drugs since life has no value.3. an environment which practices dislike for people of a different race andwe ---------.4. a family wherein a violent father mistreats the members and we --------.5. an authoritative family wherein we are told what we should do and we areclosely controlled with the result that we --------.There are a myriad of dysfunctionalities which can be brought into theworkplace, from lack of confidence to hating management or unions, frombeing too kind to being too critical. While we all make the same errors, weeach turn only a few of these errors into programmed habits. The secret isnot to confuse these programs with our birthrights, but to mark them fordestruction. Minor changes we make all of the time and getting rid of theentire program is just as straightforward, the 3x5 Card.An Example Of 3x5 CardMy own experience may help here. By the time I got to my third naval shipassignment I knew that correcting and reprimanding people was a realemotional negative. I disliked it. It turned me off even to think aboutdoing it. I knew it had to be done and forced myself to do it, but it mademy stomach boil and I didn't want to continue boiling.Although no one knew or could tell from my actions that I had such strongemotions, because of them I decided the Navy might not be for me. Whilecontemplating a return to civilian life, I realized I would want to be in amanagerial position as a civilian and would still have to correct andreprimand subordinates. I soon recognized I could only escape thisresponsibility by becoming a laborer responsible for no one else or livingon a deserted island. I didn't have the money for the island and as concernsbeing a laborer, I wanted to be the one giving the orders rather than therecipient of them.So I decided to analyze whether my negative emotions were proper. I madeone list of all the reasons which supported my liking correction andreprimand and a second list of reasons which supported disliking it. I triedto look at it from every possible approach -- Navy, man, family, shipmate,country, God, taxpayer, as well as law, religious, ethical, Gut and, ofcourse, Value Standards. I forget exactly how the first cut effort stackedup, but it was about 60% supporting like and 40% dislike. After considerablereview and objective analysis, however, all the reasons ended out supportinglike, none supporting dislike. I realized that if I disliked doing it, Iwould not do it as well as could be done and everyone would suffer,including myself and the person in need.Armed with such overwhelming evidence, I carried the list with me on a 3x5Card and reviewed it every time the bad feelings emerged. I told myselfrepeatedly what a dummy I was for boiling, how I had emotions which made nosense and must be changed, and how I almost left the Navy over such anerror. I also thought about each and every reason on the Card. I neverdamaged my morale or self-esteem, but talked firmly to my Sub-Conscious.The more I talked to my Sub-Conscious, the less my stomach boiled. Littleby little the boiling disappeared, most of it in six months. About 2 1/2years later I reprimanded a very senior person. Afterwards I realized I hadfelt very good about the whole thing; the planning, the doing and theaftermath. In essence I had thrown out the prior program and reprogrammed tobe able to enjoy the considerable satisfaction of another job well done. Ihad changed what I first perceived to be me, granite rock, my birth right,but which only turned out to be the hard packed earth and gravel mixture ofa Sub-Conscious directed response, a program I had built and could thereforechange.How had I learned such a dysfunctional emotion/response? The truth is,attempts to find a cause or someone to blame will not solve the problem.Once we are adults it is our job to find our faults objectively and give agood go at correcting them before they do too much damage to ourselves andothers. We should expect to be judged by our correction of error and not bythe error itself. "To err is human, to forgive divine."Notice in the above case, I never mentioned any feelings about not beingable to change my own dysfunctional behavior. I owe this to my father. Hetaught me a very simple concept; our Creator made a beautiful world in whichthere is a "good" solution for everything and each person was given thewherewithal to find it. So if the Chosen solution is not good for everyoneand everything involved, it is only because of our lack of understanding ofwhat the Creator did. So we should try again to find the "good" solutionwhich surely exists. Whether the required action is to learn more and/or tochange ourselves, it is always within our power to accomplish, something wemay Choose to do. We all need to believe this wisdom.So this was my rationale for not wasting time on "I can't". There are amultitude of excuses for "I can't", many of which have been discussed inthis book. Any leader must appreciate how limiting "I can't" really is. Oncean emotional response has been made into a habit, people have a large=== message truncated === Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 26, 2002 Report Share Posted March 26, 2002 Jael, They are getting to the list. Re: Stress Hi Ben.... I am trying to test to see if anyone is getting my posts to Dr. s list...can you reply to let me know if you are getting this... Thanks, Jael Ben Simonton <bensimo@...> wrote: Jan and others,You asked for info on handling stress so here it is.My area of expertise is managing people in the boss-junior relationship. Thefollowing is an excerpt from my book on that subject. This excerpt is ageneraltreatment of behaviors including stress that we'd rather get rid of, all ofthem regretably learned somehow, we know not how. I have not included thatpart of the book which gave an explanation of how we originally produceddysfunctional behaviors.Anyone with questions, just ask me. I produced this procedure and itsunderstanding on my own without help from others. This was a part of mylife. I am not a doctor of anything and the below is not medical advice.Best regards, BenUNDERSTANDING PERSONAL BEHAVIORSAND HOW TO CHANGE THEMAppendix A covered the Whys and Hows of successfully dealing with workplaceconditions not covered in the book's main body. Every workplace condition isa potential cause of frustration and demotivation if we don't handle itproperly.But what of the effects from these causes, the frustration itself or otherpersonal behaviors such as stress or bad morale from which so many of ussuffer? If frustration or stress has become a habit, is there no way to turnit around and avert further damage to #1, #2 and #3?In this Appendix we will examine the Whys and Hows of eight personalbehaviors which limit us in ways none of us need. They are our personality,likes and dislikes, ego and prestige, assumptions, bad morale, badattitudes, stress and emotionalism. All of these are hazards which interferewith our quality of life and degrade our professional and personalperformance. These hazards are often considered as "only being human", butthey cause violations of Value Standards and seriously get in the way ofexcellence. While bosses are more susceptible to them than are working-levelpeople, each of the eight can be removed.First, we need a sound understanding of behavior in general before we candiscuss the eight specific ones. What exactly is Behavior? How do we goabout creating it? And most importantly, how can we change it? For reasonswhich will become obvious, I call this the "3x5 Card" Principle.The Human BrainThe brain! What a fantastic device. Many books have been written about itand this is no attempt to summarize what others have said. Rather, my goalis to impart a simple, easy to understand model of the brain which explainsyour own human behavior. Using this model, you can then proceed to developand change your own behavior as a boss. Using this model, you can also helpothers to change their behavior.Understanding human nature is, in my opinion, very dependent upon thedirection from which one approaches. In my own search for humanunderstanding, studying digital computers proved invaluable. In thebeginning, I was struck with the realization that the computer could onlyadd two numbers or compare them to determine if they are the same. I thenlearned how these two functions are manipulated to produce multiplication(adding many times), subtraction (negative addition), file searches and thelike. And then I was amazed to find that these simple actions can bearranged by writers of computer programs to produce chess playing computerswhich lose only to the best players.Computers are also very fast. Individual actions take place at the rate ofat least many millions each second. The computer can thus appear to a humanbeing to be doing many things simultaneously. This is only an appearance,because our reference point is the speed of our Conscious Brain which isvery slow by comparison. Could the speed of a computer compare to that ofthe Sub-Conscious Brain?I also learned computers never make mistakes. That is, the computer alwayscarries out the exact instructions (program) provided to it and always usesthe exact data provided to it. If the program is flawed, the result isgarbage. And if the data is in error, garbage-in produces garbage-out. Butthe program itself is always executed flawlessly, without error, on the dataprovided.I began to realize that the human brain, in order to carry out a multitudeof required body and mind functions, must be similarly constructed andtherefore the Sub-Conscious Brain is most likely methodical, predictable andrepeatable, even flawless --just like computers. I recommend some study ofcomputers in order to develop your own understanding. The terms compute,program, algorithm, decision tree, memory, data base, re-program, faultyprogramming and garbage-in garbage-out directly parallel the behavior of ourhuman brain. Humans often have a lot of bum dope to feed theircomputer-brain and the programming/decision tree may be flawed as well. Sothey also have lots of opportunities for flawed decisions or garbage out.Programs for RacingThe simple example of a race car driver best illustrates what thesub-conscious brain does for us. The driver I have in mind wins races withcars that travel at 200 miles per hour. At those speeds, the driver haslittle time for conscious thought in order to direct actions which must takeplace in the next 2 seconds. The speed of conscious thought is far too slowfor such a purpose, so we use the term "fast reactions" or "reflex actions"to describe how the car is quickly maneuvered to avoid an accident or totake advantage of a momentary opportunity to pass the driver ahead. What'sreally going on?When first learning to drive a car we have to literally tell our limbs witha conscious order when to push the brake, when to engage the clutch, when topull the steering wheel to the right, when to shift, etc. We can allremember these thoughts as we first learned how to drive, but we rarelyremember when we ceased having to think about it. Timing the clutch and thegear shift lever were particularly critical and an error ground gears andproduced very jerky starts and stops. But soon, after many Repetitions, thisbecame of no concern -- it became properly executed through an effectiveprogram.As we learn how to drive through Repetition, we pass action control fromthe Conscious to our Sub-Conscious brain. The normal experienced driverthinks in the Conscious about going to the store and where it is while theSub-Conscious gets him/her in the car, puts the seat belt on, starts thecar, backs out and gets the car moving on the road. Very little Consciousthought is expended on the actual driving once we have learned how to do it,once we've programmed our Sub-Conscious. What the eyes see is sent to theSub-Conscious which evaluates the scene (the data) for action based oncriteria (more data) previously provided, such as where the store is and howfast to drive. If after using the program and data a decision for action isgenerated, the Sub-Conscious (through programs) orders muscle actions,hundreds of them, in order to carry out the action.When the action is in response to external conditions, such as stop lightsand other cars coming close, we call this AUTOMATIC! In truth, the programwas constructed to use sensors (eyes and ears) to provide data at regularintervals. The program then evaluates this data against programmed Standardssuch as too close for cars or red/green for lights in order to decide onaction. The program then sends a routine set of instructions to our handsand legs in order to carry out the chosen action. If done without consciousthought, we call it "automatic".Think of a high jumper who has tried to "program" the Sub-Conscious toproduce that perfect sequence of muscle actions which will result in jumpingover, not touching, the bar. Think of the sheer number of different muscleactions which must be directed by the Sub-Conscious almost simultaneously.Think of learning from the coach over a period of years all the littlethings which must happen to be successful. Think of the fact that the jumpitself is over in a couple of seconds and that Conscious Brain speed is fartoo slow to direct the thousands of required actions in the correctsequence. But the Sub-Conscious can do it all if the Conscious Brain takesthe time to program and practice action, build muscle strength, program theSub-Conscious and practice, again and again and AGAIN.Let's return to the race car driver. After learning to drive a normal car,the driver quickly finds that some of the things which were learned fornormal driving aren't helpful for racing. The Sub-Conscious was programmedto slow the car down considerably before entering a sharp corner, anautomatic response. Since the race car has cornering capabilities far beyondthose of the normal passenger car, this response will lose a lot of races ifnot changed. So the driver begins to force him/herself (reprogram theSub-Conscious) to take the corners faster. This means the Sub-Conscious hasno stored knowledge (data) of what that looks like and thus can make nocomparisons to decide the correct speed. Therefore, Conscious has to takeover a normal Sub-Conscious function in order to re-program. Oncereprogrammed to go faster and faster into sharp corners, the Sub-Conscioushas gained a new history or new data base of visual comparisons. We can sayit has been reprogrammed to recognize the new "too fast" or "too slow" rulesbased on a race car versus a passenger car.Actually, the Sub-Conscious must be taught many new conditions andcircumstances that did not appear to exist in normal driving. Once learned,technology changes occur which also require new responses. Sub-Consciousmust be taught new techniques for handling these so it can continue tosuccessfully manage a 200 mph problem. If Conscious does a great job ofprogramming and testing, Sub-Conscious can handle most 200 mph problemswithout crashing. Quite a motivator! What if the person had decided that "Ican't!"? The racing challenge is to be able to re-program and provide datato the Sub-Conscious as the situation dictates. What are the operatingcharacteristics of the other cars and drivers and at what point on the trackcan they best be passed? How are track conditions changing? Conscious Brainspends time on these in order to prepare Sub-Conscious (by checking programsand data) since there will be no time for such during the fractions of asecond available to Sub-Conscious for analysis, decision-making and actionat 200 mph. If Sub-Conscious can't detect through the eyeballs an oil slick(data), determine correct action and execute it perfectly (a superiorprogram), the result may well be a crash. If Conscious brain talks too muchor worries too much, it may distract the Sub-Conscious (loss ofconcentration) and result in a crash.ConclusionThe significant conclusion is, in order to meet the needs of speed inexecution, the Conscious Brain creates a program, a specific set ofinstructions in the Sub-Conscious. And only considerable Repetition allowsthe program to become more and more complete and to eventually include anAutomatic initiator feature. Automatics are a prerequisite to achievingexcellence in race car driving where time is a real problem.However, automatics and speed are unnecessary and, in fact, totallyinappropriate for business interactions between humans. Because we didn'tunderstand this, we programmed our Sub-Conscious to conduct some of ourroutines in life. This is a source of dysfunctional behavior, our problemsin dealing with other people and events.Do not fail to appreciate that the Conscious Brain has no real habits orprograms. It can easily be taught new things and it can change instantly, ondemand so to speak. It is not capable of the great speeds of theSub-Conscious Brain, but it is infinitely more flexible. The ConsciousBrain's capacity for reasoning and creating action from this reasoning iswhat differentiates us from other living species. And only the ConsciousBrain can program and/or reprogram the Sub-Conscious where all the programsreside.The point is, when interacting with people or routine events, such as workor traffic jams, the Conscious Brain should always be used, not theSub-Conscious. But we need a few more details before arriving at the fix.Growing UpProgramming is mostly done unconsciously (without a clear decision to doso) when we are young. Programs exist only in the Sub-Conscious and only tocreate action. The action could be internal such as increased heartbeat,worry, anxiety, strong emotion or a boiling Gut. It could be external suchas facial expression, eye movement, twitching, hand or leg motion and thelike. Internal means not necessarily detectable by others. Internal andexternal actions could be simultaneous and could range from being consistentto inconsistent (appearing to be cool on the outside while boiling on theinside). These actions or reactions were not with us at birth and must belearned and developed.This process of developing behavior or habits was described in the Chapter2 section "Behavior Without Value Standards". All of us were forced to dosome copying just to develop some behavior since we started with none,Followers and Non-Followers alike. We see examples and we copy them.Beyond copying what we see and hear, our behavior is strongly influenced bythe demands of our parents and other authoritarians bent on making usFollow. These often cause negative reactions and therefore the resultingprograms are dysfunctional. The theory and the result were adequatelyexplained for subordinates in Chapter 6, Support Through Direction, and areas applicable to the parent-child as to the boss-junior relationship.Of course, we not only create programs for external behavior, what we doand say, but also for internal responses such as emotions or adrenaline flowor stress. Signals from the Good-Bad compass of our Gut are often used totrigger a Sub-Conscious program creating what we call an "emotionalresponse". Reactions which result in an emotional response have beenlearned/programmed. These can be reactions to failure, criticism, the othersex, other races, responsibility, bosses, finances, weather, road traffic,security, etc., etc. The rule is that emotions which go beyond being signalsfrom the Gut of Good or Bad are generally dysfunctional.Reprogramming using the 3x5 Card PrincipleThe first and most important point to the above is that we are notprogrammed by others. Only we can do this programming of our Sub-Conscious.It is presently physically impossible for someone else to do it for us. Andtherefore, our right to make a Choice permits us to decide whether to do itor not. This is what 5S people do whether they know it or not.The second is that we can re-program at any time. It matters not what thedysfunctionality is. We could have been born into:1. a wealthy family wherein we learned to disrespect and arrogantly lookdown on the financially less fortunate.2. a family on the dole wherein the world appears as a place of no hope andwe resort to violence or drugs since life has no value.3. an environment which practices dislike for people of a different race andwe ---------.4. a family wherein a violent father mistreats the members and we --------.5. an authoritative family wherein we are told what we should do and we areclosely controlled with the result that we --------.There are a myriad of dysfunctionalities which can be brought into theworkplace, from lack of confidence to hating management or unions, frombeing too kind to being too critical. While we all make the same errors, weeach turn only a few of these errors into programmed habits. The secret isnot to confuse these programs with our birthrights, but to mark them fordestruction. Minor changes we make all of the time and getting rid of theentire program is just as straightforward, the 3x5 Card.An Example Of 3x5 CardMy own experience may help here. By the time I got to my third naval shipassignment I knew that correcting and reprimanding people was a realemotional negative. I disliked it. It turned me off even to think aboutdoing it. I knew it had to be done and forced myself to do it, but it mademy stomach boil and I didn't want to continue boiling.Although no one knew or could tell from my actions that I had such strongemotions, because of them I decided the Navy might not be for me. Whilecontemplating a return to civilian life, I realized I would want to be in amanagerial position as a civilian and would still have to correct andreprimand subordinates. I soon recognized I could only escape thisresponsibility by becoming a laborer responsible for no one else or livingon a deserted island. I didn't have the money for the island and as concernsbeing a laborer, I wanted to be the one giving the orders rather than therecipient of them.So I decided to analyze whether my negative emotions were proper. I madeone list of all the reasons which supported my liking correction andreprimand and a second list of reasons which supported disliking it. I triedto look at it from every possible approach -- Navy, man, family, shipmate,country, God, taxpayer, as well as law, religious, ethical, Gut and, ofcourse, Value Standards. I forget exactly how the first cut effort stackedup, but it was about 60% supporting like and 40% dislike. After considerablereview and objective analysis, however, all the reasons ended out supportinglike, none supporting dislike. I realized that if I disliked doing it, Iwould not do it as well as could be done and everyone would suffer,including myself and the person in need.Armed with such overwhelming evidence, I carried the list with me on a 3x5Card and reviewed it every time the bad feelings emerged. I told myselfrepeatedly what a dummy I was for boiling, how I had emotions which made nosense and must be changed, and how I almost left the Navy over such anerror. I also thought about each and every reason on the Card. I neverdamaged my morale or self-esteem, but talked firmly to my Sub-Conscious.The more I talked to my Sub-Conscious, the less my stomach boiled. Littleby little the boiling disappeared, most of it in six months. About 2 1/2years later I reprimanded a very senior person. Afterwards I realized I hadfelt very good about the whole thing; the planning, the doing and theaftermath. In essence I had thrown out the prior program and reprogrammed tobe able to enjoy the considerable satisfaction of another job well done. Ihad changed what I first perceived to be me, granite rock, my birth right,but which only turned out to be the hard packed earth and gravel mixture ofa Sub-Conscious directed response, a program I had built and could thereforechange.How had I learned such a dysfunctional emotion/response? The truth is,attempts to find a cause or someone to blame will not solve the problem.Once we are adults it is our job to find our faults objectively and give agood go at correcting them before they do too much damage to ourselves andothers. We should expect to be judged by our correction of error and not bythe error itself. "To err is human, to forgive divine."Notice in the above case, I never mentioned any feelings about not beingable to change my own dysfunctional behavior. I owe this to my father. Hetaught me a very simple concept; our Creator made a beautiful world in whichthere is a "good" solution for everything and each person was given thewherewithal to find it. So if the Chosen solution is not good for everyoneand everything involved, it is only because of our lack of understanding ofwhat the Creator did. So we should try again to find the "good" solutionwhich surely exists. Whether the required action is to learn more and/or tochange ourselves, it is always within our power to accomplish, something wemay Choose to do. We all need to believe this wisdom.So this was my rationale for not wasting time on "I can't". There are amultitude of excuses for "I can't", many of which have been discussed inthis book. Any leader must appreciate how limiting "I can't" really is. Oncean emotional response has been made into a habit, people have a large=== message truncated === Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 26, 2002 Report Share Posted March 26, 2002 Thanks, for replying... I hope to learn more about the natural way of healing. I just got the book "A Cure for all Diseases". I knew some of it...but I was amazed at the parasites!!! Just floored me to think that a fluke was causing diabetes. It makes sense tho.... I did a parasite cleanse and my tummy is not nearly as bloated as it was... also was boarderline diabetic...now when I test it I am usually always under 120... most times it between 90-100...so thats good. I am in the process of learning about pH and how foods affect the pH. Was delighted to learn about nutrition and finding out this is the key to good health. Again, thanks for the acknowlegement. Jael <sbulmer@...> wrote: Jael, They are getting to the list. Re: Stress Hi Ben.... I am trying to test to see if anyone is getting my posts to Dr. s list...can you reply to let me know if you are getting this... Thanks, Jael Ben Simonton <bensimo@...> wrote: Jan and others,You asked for info on handling stress so here it is.My area of expertise is managing people in the boss-junior relationship. Thefollowing is an excerpt from my book on that subject. This excerpt is ageneraltreatment of behaviors including stress that we'd rather get rid of, all ofthem regretably learned somehow, we know not how. I have not included thatpart of the book which gave an explanation of how we originally produceddysfunctional behaviors.Anyone with questions, just ask me. I produced this procedure and itsunderstanding on my own without help from others. This was a part of mylife. I am not a doctor of anything and the below is not medical advice.Best regards, BenUNDERSTANDING PERSONAL BEHAVIORSAND HOW TO CHANGE THEMAppendix A covered the Whys and Hows of successfully dealing with workplaceconditions not covered in the book's main body. Every workplace condition isa potential cause of frustration and demotivation if we don't handle itproperly.But what of the effects from these causes, the frustration itself or otherpersonal behaviors such as stress or bad morale from which so many of ussuffer? If frustration or stress has become a habit, is there no way to turnit around and avert further damage to #1, #2 and #3?In this Appendix we will examine the Whys and Hows of eight personalbehaviors which limit us in ways none of us need. They are our personality,likes and dislikes, ego and prestige, assumptions, bad morale, badattitudes, stress and emotionalism. All of these are hazards which interferewith our quality of life and degrade our professional and personalperformance. These hazards are often considered as "only being human", butthey cause violations of Value Standards and seriously get in the way ofexcellence. While bosses are more susceptible to them than are working-levelpeople, each of the eight can be removed.First, we need a sound understanding of behavior in general before we candiscuss the eight specific ones. What exactly is Behavior? How do we goabout creating it? And most importantly, how can we change it? For reasonswhich will become obvious, I call this the "3x5 Card" Principle.The Human BrainThe brain! What a fantastic device. Many books have been written about itand this is no attempt to summarize what others have said. Rather, my goalis to impart a simple, easy to understand model of the brain which explainsyour own human behavior. Using this model, you can then proceed to developand change your own behavior as a boss. Using this model, you can also helpothers to change their behavior.Understanding human nature is, in my opinion, very dependent upon thedirection from which one approaches. In my own search for humanunderstanding, studying digital computers proved invaluable. In thebeginning, I was struck with the realization that the computer could onlyadd two numbers or compare them to determine if they are the same. I thenlearned how these two functions are manipulated to produce multiplication(adding many times), subtraction (negative addition), file searches and thelike. And then I was amazed to find that these simple actions can bearranged by writers of computer programs to produce chess playing computerswhich lose only to the best players.Computers are also very fast. Individual actions take place at the rate ofat least many millions each second. The computer can thus appear to a humanbeing to be doing many things simultaneously. This is only an appearance,because our reference point is the speed of our Conscious Brain which isvery slow by comparison. Could the speed of a computer compare to that ofthe Sub-Conscious Brain?I also learned computers never make mistakes. That is, the computer alwayscarries out the exact instructions (program) provided to it and always usesthe exact data provided to it. If the program is flawed, the result isgarbage. And if the data is in error, garbage-in produces garbage-out. Butthe program itself is always executed flawlessly, without error, on the dataprovided.I began to realize that the human brain, in order to carry out a multitudeof required body and mind functions, must be similarly constructed andtherefore the Sub-Conscious Brain is most likely methodical, predictable andrepeatable, even flawless --just like computers. I recommend some study ofcomputers in order to develop your own understanding. The terms compute,program, algorithm, decision tree, memory, data base, re-program, faultyprogramming and garbage-in garbage-out directly parallel the behavior of ourhuman brain. Humans often have a lot of bum dope to feed theircomputer-brain and the programming/decision tree may be flawed as well. Sothey also have lots of opportunities for flawed decisions or garbage out.Programs for RacingThe simple example of a race car driver best illustrates what thesub-conscious brain does for us. The driver I have in mind wins races withcars that travel at 200 miles per hour. At those speeds, the driver haslittle time for conscious thought in order to direct actions which must takeplace in the next 2 seconds. The speed of conscious thought is far too slowfor such a purpose, so we use the term "fast reactions" or "reflex actions"to describe how the car is quickly maneuvered to avoid an accident or totake advantage of a momentary opportunity to pass the driver ahead. What'sreally going on?When first learning to drive a car we have to literally tell our limbs witha conscious order when to push the brake, when to engage the clutch, when topull the steering wheel to the right, when to shift, etc. We can allremember these thoughts as we first learned how to drive, but we rarelyremember when we ceased having to think about it. Timing the clutch and thegear shift lever were particularly critical and an error ground gears andproduced very jerky starts and stops. But soon, after many Repetitions, thisbecame of no concern -- it became properly executed through an effectiveprogram.As we learn how to drive through Repetition, we pass action control fromthe Conscious to our Sub-Conscious brain. The normal experienced driverthinks in the Conscious about going to the store and where it is while theSub-Conscious gets him/her in the car, puts the seat belt on, starts thecar, backs out and gets the car moving on the road. Very little Consciousthought is expended on the actual driving once we have learned how to do it,once we've programmed our Sub-Conscious. What the eyes see is sent to theSub-Conscious which evaluates the scene (the data) for action based oncriteria (more data) previously provided, such as where the store is and howfast to drive. If after using the program and data a decision for action isgenerated, the Sub-Conscious (through programs) orders muscle actions,hundreds of them, in order to carry out the action.When the action is in response to external conditions, such as stop lightsand other cars coming close, we call this AUTOMATIC! In truth, the programwas constructed to use sensors (eyes and ears) to provide data at regularintervals. The program then evaluates this data against programmed Standardssuch as too close for cars or red/green for lights in order to decide onaction. The program then sends a routine set of instructions to our handsand legs in order to carry out the chosen action. If done without consciousthought, we call it "automatic".Think of a high jumper who has tried to "program" the Sub-Conscious toproduce that perfect sequence of muscle actions which will result in jumpingover, not touching, the bar. Think of the sheer number of different muscleactions which must be directed by the Sub-Conscious almost simultaneously.Think of learning from the coach over a period of years all the littlethings which must happen to be successful. Think of the fact that the jumpitself is over in a couple of seconds and that Conscious Brain speed is fartoo slow to direct the thousands of required actions in the correctsequence. But the Sub-Conscious can do it all if the Conscious Brain takesthe time to program and practice action, build muscle strength, program theSub-Conscious and practice, again and again and AGAIN.Let's return to the race car driver. After learning to drive a normal car,the driver quickly finds that some of the things which were learned fornormal driving aren't helpful for racing. The Sub-Conscious was programmedto slow the car down considerably before entering a sharp corner, anautomatic response. Since the race car has cornering capabilities far beyondthose of the normal passenger car, this response will lose a lot of races ifnot changed. So the driver begins to force him/herself (reprogram theSub-Conscious) to take the corners faster. This means the Sub-Conscious hasno stored knowledge (data) of what that looks like and thus can make nocomparisons to decide the correct speed. Therefore, Conscious has to takeover a normal Sub-Conscious function in order to re-program. Oncereprogrammed to go faster and faster into sharp corners, the Sub-Conscioushas gained a new history or new data base of visual comparisons. We can sayit has been reprogrammed to recognize the new "too fast" or "too slow" rulesbased on a race car versus a passenger car.Actually, the Sub-Conscious must be taught many new conditions andcircumstances that did not appear to exist in normal driving. Once learned,technology changes occur which also require new responses. Sub-Consciousmust be taught new techniques for handling these so it can continue tosuccessfully manage a 200 mph problem. If Conscious does a great job ofprogramming and testing, Sub-Conscious can handle most 200 mph problemswithout crashing. Quite a motivator! What if the person had decided that "Ican't!"? The racing challenge is to be able to re-program and provide datato the Sub-Conscious as the situation dictates. What are the operatingcharacteristics of the other cars and drivers and at what point on the trackcan they best be passed? How are track conditions changing? Conscious Brainspends time on these in order to prepare Sub-Conscious (by checking programsand data) since there will be no time for such during the fractions of asecond available to Sub-Conscious for analysis, decision-making and actionat 200 mph. If Sub-Conscious can't detect through the eyeballs an oil slick(data), determine correct action and execute it perfectly (a superiorprogram), the result may well be a crash. If Conscious brain talks too muchor worries too much, it may distract the Sub-Conscious (loss ofconcentration) and result in a crash.ConclusionThe significant conclusion is, in order to meet the needs of speed inexecution, the Conscious Brain creates a program, a specific set ofinstructions in the Sub-Conscious. And only considerable Repetition allowsthe program to become more and more complete and to eventually include anAutomatic initiator feature. Automatics are a prerequisite to achievingexcellence in race car driving where time is a real problem.However, automatics and speed are unnecessary and, in fact, totallyinappropriate for business interactions between humans. Because we didn'tunderstand this, we programmed our Sub-Conscious to conduct some of ourroutines in life. This is a source of dysfunctional behavior, our problemsin dealing with other people and events.Do not fail to appreciate that the Conscious Brain has no real habits orprograms. It can easily be taught new things and it can change instantly, ondemand so to speak. It is not capable of the great speeds of theSub-Conscious Brain, but it is infinitely more flexible. The ConsciousBrain's capacity for reasoning and creating action from this reasoning iswhat differentiates us from other living species. And only the ConsciousBrain can program and/or reprogram the Sub-Conscious where all the programsreside.The point is, when interacting with people or routine events, such as workor traffic jams, the Conscious Brain should always be used, not theSub-Conscious. But we need a few more details before arriving at the fix.Growing UpProgramming is mostly done unconsciously (without a clear decision to doso) when we are young. Programs exist only in the Sub-Conscious and only tocreate action. The action could be internal such as increased heartbeat,worry, anxiety, strong emotion or a boiling Gut. It could be external suchas facial expression, eye movement, twitching, hand or leg motion and thelike. Internal means not necessarily detectable by others. Internal andexternal actions could be simultaneous and could range from being consistentto inconsistent (appearing to be cool on the outside while boiling on theinside). These actions or reactions were not with us at birth and must belearned and developed.This process of developing behavior or habits was described in the Chapter2 section "Behavior Without Value Standards". All of us were forced to dosome copying just to develop some behavior since we started with none,Followers and Non-Followers alike. We see examples and we copy them.Beyond copying what we see and hear, our behavior is strongly influenced bythe demands of our parents and other authoritarians bent on making usFollow. These often cause negative reactions and therefore the resultingprograms are dysfunctional. The theory and the result were adequatelyexplained for subordinates in Chapter 6, Support Through Direction, and areas applicable to the parent-child as to the boss-junior relationship.Of course, we not only create programs for external behavior, what we doand say, but also for internal responses such as emotions or adrenaline flowor stress. Signals from the Good-Bad compass of our Gut are often used totrigger a Sub-Conscious program creating what we call an "emotionalresponse". Reactions which result in an emotional response have beenlearned/programmed. These can be reactions to failure, criticism, the othersex, other races, responsibility, bosses, finances, weather, road traffic,security, etc., etc. The rule is that emotions which go beyond being signalsfrom the Gut of Good or Bad are generally dysfunctional.Reprogramming using the 3x5 Card PrincipleThe first and most important point to the above is that we are notprogrammed by others. Only we can do this programming of our Sub-Conscious.It is presently physically impossible for someone else to do it for us. Andtherefore, our right to make a Choice permits us to decide whether to do itor not. This is what 5S people do whether they know it or not.The second is that we can re-program at any time. It matters not what thedysfunctionality is. We could have been born into:1. a wealthy family wherein we learned to disrespect and arrogantly lookdown on the financially less fortunate.2. a family on the dole wherein the world appears as a place of no hope andwe resort to violence or drugs since life has no value.3. an environment which practices dislike for people of a different race andwe ---------.4. a family wherein a violent father mistreats the members and we --------.5. an authoritative family wherein we are told what we should do and we areclosely controlled with the result that we --------.There are a myriad of dysfunctionalities which can be brought into theworkplace, from lack of confidence to hating management or unions, frombeing too kind to being too critical. While we all make the same errors, weeach turn only a few of these errors into programmed habits. The secret isnot to confuse these programs with our birthrights, but to mark them fordestruction. Minor changes we make all of the time and getting rid of theentire program is just as straightforward, the 3x5 Card.An Example Of 3x5 CardMy own experience may help here. By the time I got to my third naval shipassignment I knew that correcting and reprimanding people was a realemotional negative. I disliked it. It turned me off even to think aboutdoing it. I knew it had to be done and forced myself to do it, but it mademy stomach boil and I didn't want to continue boiling.Although no one knew or could tell from my actions that I had such strongemotions, because of them I decided the Navy might not be for me. Whilecontemplating a return to civilian life, I realized I would want to be in amanagerial position as a civilian and would still have to correct andreprimand subordinates. I soon recognized I could only escape thisresponsibility by becoming a laborer responsible for no one else or livingon a deserted island. I didn't have the money for the island and as concernsbeing a laborer, I wanted to be the one giving the orders rather than therecipient of them.So I decided to analyze whether my negative emotions were proper. I madeone list of all the reasons which supported my liking correction andreprimand and a second list of reasons which supported disliking it. I triedto look at it from every possible approach -- Navy, man, family, shipmate,country, God, taxpayer, as well as law, religious, ethical, Gut and, ofcourse, Value Standards. I forget exactly how the first cut effort stackedup, but it was about 60% supporting like and 40% dislike. After considerablereview and objective analysis, however, all the reasons ended out supportinglike, none supporting dislike. I realized that if I disliked doing it, Iwould not do it as well as could be done and everyone would suffer,including myself and the person in need.Armed with such overwhelming evidence, I carried the list with me on a 3x5Card and reviewed it every time the bad feelings emerged. I told myselfrepeatedly what a dummy I was for boiling, how I had emotions which made nosense and must be changed, and how I almost left the Navy over such anerror. I also thought about each and every reason on the Card. I neverdamaged my morale or self-esteem, but talked firmly to my Sub-Conscious.The more I talked to my Sub-Conscious, the less my stomach boiled. Littleby little the boiling disappeared, most of it in six months. About 2 1/2years later I reprimanded a very senior person. Afterwards I realized I hadfelt very good about the whole thing; the planning, the doing and theaftermath. In essence I had thrown out the prior program and reprogrammed tobe able to enjoy the considerable satisfaction of another job well done. Ihad changed what I first perceived to be me, granite rock, my birth right,but which only turned out to be the hard packed earth and gravel mixture ofa Sub-Conscious directed response, a program I had built and could thereforechange.How had I learned such a dysfunctional emotion/response? The truth is,attempts to find a cause or someone to blame will not solve the problem.Once we are adults it is our job to find our faults objectively and give agood go at correcting them before they do too much damage to ourselves andothers. We should expect to be judged by our correction of error and not bythe error itself. "To err is human, to forgive divine."Notice in the above case, I never mentioned any feelings about not beingable to change my own dysfunctional behavior. I owe this to my father. Hetaught me a very simple concept; our Creator made a beautiful world in whichthere is a "good" solution for everything and each person was given thewherewithal to find it. So if the Chosen solution is not good for everyoneand everything involved, it is only because of our lack of understanding ofwhat the Creator did. So we should try again to find the "good" solutionwhich surely exists. Whether the required action is to learn more and/or tochange ourselves, it is always within our power to accomplish, something wemay Choose to do. We all need to believe this wisdom.So this was my rationale for not wasting time on "I can't". There are amultitude of excuses for "I can't", many of which have been discussed inthis book. Any leader must appreciate how limiting "I can't" really is. Oncean emotional response has been made into a habit, people have a large=== message truncated === Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 8, 2002 Report Share Posted August 8, 2002 , Maybe now your roommate will be a little more understanding. Sometimes we need to blow up so we can get on with other things. Believe me as a moth of 2 teenage boys and a husband spoiled by his mother I am good at blowing up. I ALWAYS FEEL BETTER AFTER!!!!!!! Of course my family says its my Irish blood and the fact that I am a Taurus that makes me so volitile.hahaha! good luck and I wish I had a daughter like you. the WV hillbilly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 8, 2002 Report Share Posted August 8, 2002 , this is a good place to vent. Hope things work out for you and your room mate. It is very sad that your room mate does not understand what is going on here. debby [ ] stress hey everyonewow, today has been very stressful.... i hadn't reallyknown the effect my mom's illness would have on me....until today.... i blew up at my roomate who just sohappens to be a huge bitch who cares for no one butherself..... she knew my mom was sick and then askedme why i had been so bitchy lately..... blah blahblah... long long story but i told her exactly what ithought of her and things.... it wasn't right.... ishould have done it in a different way but, she neededto know just how horrible she has been.... i live withtwo girls.... one is my best friend and then there isthis other one...anyway, sorry, i had to vent..... i'mso stressed..... i need a day off.... sadly, i neverget one.... courtney__________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 25, 2003 Report Share Posted April 25, 2003 I just read this after I sent a post on stress. This is so well said and true. I had to write to thank you for sending this. Reducing Stress.....It's sounds simple and it's free but it is sooooo important to recovery. Great send! Thanks!!! Ter =) In a message dated 4/24/03 12:29:13 PM Central Daylight Time, knitgirl44@... writes: > Great remark regarding the hostilities. Stress is a huge factor in > trying to win the battle against Candida... Reduce stress!! > > My reason for being in the group is to learn from others, and share > what I've learned. Candida can attack us in many ways, and there are > many recommended treatments for our many different symptoms / > ailments. I'm here for sharing knowledge and experience, and to > receive and give support. > > Unfortunatley, much of the traditional medical community has not come > on board with the natural approach... or are even willing to > recognize Chronic Candidiasis as a sickness... in a lot of ways, > we're on our own. > > I've only been in the group for a short time, but from what I've > seen, everyone's doing a lot of research and trying to get well. > This can be a great network -- there's a lot wisdom being posted > every day!!! So, let's try to be there for each other in an honest > and nurturing way. > > My advice regarding the negative posts is to ignore them.... if we > don't respond, and " feed " the negative " baddies " they will > eventually " die off " and go away!! Just my opinion... > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2003 Report Share Posted June 10, 2003 > > i feel so bad today, coz i've been trying to exercise everyday in order to > burn calories and lose weight but it's counterproductive to my goals. Coz > exercising every day will increase my hunger, so at the end of the day i > would snack more and gain weight, i have gained 3 lbs. by walking every day. > Seems weird but it's true. > > Hi, . Exercising too much (not that you are) can increase your appetite. However, walking shouldn't be doing this. If you're increasing muscle mass you could also show a gain, but again... walking shouldn't do that. Have you tried a low carb diet plan? I do Atkins, though I am taking a break from it this week (been " dieting " a year without success), and it's a ketogenic diet. Ketosis literally kills the appetite, so that's one good thing about it. ) Maybe you could research low carb diets and find one that you may want to try, because right now if hunger is your problem, a ketogenic or low carb diet could really help with that! Examples of low carb diets: Atkins Carbohydrate Addicts Diet Protein Power Sugar Busters Out of the above, only Atkins is ketogenic. Also, you can find web sites for every one of those, but be sure to get the book of the one you want to try because the web sites wont have all you need to know. You should read up thoroughly on the one you choose so you can be aware of what to expect. For example, a feeling of being fatigued in the first couple of weeks on Atkins is normal as the body switches from using carbs for fuel to using fat, and also as the body detoxifies you'll most likely go through carb withdrawal (which too will also cease in a few days, maybe 2-3). That weariness or fatigue, however, does go away...as does any hunger. In fact, on Atkins most people have to keep themselves consciously aware of eating, because it's easy to forget to! Good luck, and don't despair. Your walking is doing your body a wonderful justice and you will get healthy if you stick with it and not give up. Ella Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 13, 2003 Report Share Posted June 13, 2003 : I had the exact same thing happen to me when I started walking. I would be starved at the end of the day and ate more BUT I noticed after walking every day for a few days, the hunger stopped and the weight started to come off. It just took a while .... Chris [subclinical-hypothyroidism] Re:stress Date: Tue, 10 Jun 2003 08:45:18 -0400 >When I went for the bloodwork the other day, I wasn't > stressed at all -- matter of fact, I was RELIEVED because school was > out and I could finally spend some time with my babies. > Hi , I don't know if you have considered this, but homeschooling can be a great solution for the above problem, especially when you have high need or high risk children. We hs, and do it year around which allows us to take breaks and vacations when we need it instead of according to school schedules. I know you have financial considerations because of the health issues, but there are many people in this situation who find ways to do it. While most of the press about homeschoolers is about those who are isolationists in one way or another (mostly those who isolate for 'religious' reasons), that does not describe most homeschoolers I run across, even here in the bible belt. The majority of hsers I know have children with special needs ranging from giftedness to medical issues. While people think there are laws to protect such children and see that their needs are met the reality is very different and you are not the only parent who finds sending children to school stressful. I myself started doing this because I did a little math and realised it would take less time to educate my children myself than the time I was spending either at the school fighting the system or writing letters to them. As for the stress level, this is not the enviornment children need in order to thrive. My little one ( who was a toddler) was the one who really changed (gained confidence and lost shyness) as soon as we pulled my son out of school. The primary thing you need is not a teacher's credential, but dedication and concern for your childrens' education. That alone can make you a superior teacher (colleges like Stanford agree with me on this) because everything you need to teach is out there. I advise parents to also have a basic understanding and respect of child developement but any library and many homes have books on this subject. I've always enjoyed learning (except in school, which I hated) but this has opened up worlds for me because I am exposed to new subjects or ones never covered in any depth in school. This thing, which I never intended or wanted to do has enriched my life as much as my chidrens'! Homeschooling is not a decision to be taken lightly ( there is a current trend towards that that worries me) but it's a whole lot easier to cover all the bases than most people think, especially if you live in a city. We use our library extensively and have a network of hsing friends we do classes and social things with. I've been doing it for six years (two children, ages 8 & 12) and am happy to answer any questions if you want to entertain the idea. I will not push you as it is an individual decision, though I'd urge you to talk to as many people as you can who actually do it before dismissing the idea if it is at all appealing. There are a lot of misconceptions about the subject that make some potentially great homeschoolers shun the idea and some terrible ones embrace it. You can email me privately, as only the stress part relates to thyroid. Good luck with whatever route you take :-). Laurel ________________________________________________________________ The best thing to hit the internet in years - Juno SpeedBand! Surf the web up to FIVE TIMES FASTER! Only $14.95/ month - visit www.juno.com to sign up today! _________________________________________________________________ MSN 8 with e-mail virus protection service: 2 months FREE* http://join.msn.com/?page=features/virus Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 27, 2004 Report Share Posted May 27, 2004 In a message dated 5/27/2004 2:07:35 PM Eastern Standard Time, pattonwh@... writes: > That was my son, too. I pulled him out of school for a year. That > helped so much that it's hard to describe. Thank you for that post. I've just decided to homeschool my son next year and it's great to hear it can help so much. Nell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 5, 2004 Report Share Posted July 5, 2004 Talk about stress and PA. About 5 years ago my pains started getting worse in the knees. Until then all the Drs. including a rheumy said I had osteo. What dopes since I had P all on my elbows, arms and legs. Then I tore the cartiledge in my knee while in nursing school at the hospital and was limping around trying to do clinical and the wicked intstructor told me to get off the floor. I then had knee surgery and then two days later ended up in the hospital with severe diverticulitis and an intestinal blockage. I had to have a foot of intestines taken out. Several months later I was coughing and I developed a big bulge on the incision. It was an incisional hernia and I had to have it operated on. A year later I doubled up in pain in my stomach and had huge ovarian cysts the size of tennis balls and ended up with a hysterectomy. Then two years ago my one knee was so bad that I had a replacement and at the same time the other knee had a torn cartiledge so they operated on both knees at the same time. That is when the PA started flaring like crazy in all the joints and I developed some shingles at the time as well. TALK ABOUT STRESS!!! Now you know why I think I got the SS disability so quick. Janet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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