Question:

November 2, 2000

Jerry - when I hit reply it sort of dumps me in the middle somewhere,

too. I just scroll to the top of the screen and press <enter> a few

times to give myself a bit of space, and start typing. Does that

help, or have I misunderstood your question?

Kim

> How do you reply to a message and have the reply attach to the

bootom

> of the original? When I hit " reply " it dumps me nto the body of

the

> message that I am replying to. Help please!

November 2, 2000

> > How do you reply to a message and have the reply attach to the

> bootom

> > of the original? When I hit " reply " it dumps me nto the body of

> the

> > message that I am replying to. Help please!

January 29, 2003

In <20030129061748.23416.qmail@...>, on 01/28/03

at 10:17 PM, Shar Pei <phatsharpei@...> said:

>It may seem a weird question, but living in Miami

>where everybody is so into looks, my social life has

>been hell...

I'm in southern california! It's got to be worse.

I don't know that I had any problems, though my condition was relatively

mild.

--

-----------------------------------------------------------

" Mark Abramowitz " <marka@...>

-----------------------------------------------------------

January 29, 2003

I believe that attitude is everything. Well... I'm lucky because I

only have small p spots on my body, most of the worst is hidden

on my scalp (though I am self conscious about my " dandruff " ).

So I can't speak about that. But as far as the pa is concerned,

I'm very matter-of-fact about it.

For example, I was sitting with a new guy this past weekend who

was looking at my feet and said " do you wear shoes that are too

tight? " cause the bottom joints of my big toes stick out to the

side. I said " naaah, that's just from my arthritis " (which he

already knew about). I was a little self conscious, but hey, it's not

like everyone without pa has beautiful feet, and at least I have an

excuse! hee hee hee.

Really though, when I meet someone, whether or not there's

romantic interest my arthritis usually comes up pretty quickly. It's

either during a meal: " I don't eat nightshades or citrus " " why? "

" they aggravate my arthritis... " or it's when talking about

recreation " no I don't do any high impact sports " sort of thing. I

figure, when you're connecting with someone it's because you

share common interests, so our limitations really aren't very

important. Unless the person you're getting to know feels that

they can't date you unless you participate with them in *all* their

interests... but I don't like people like that so it doesn't come up

for me.

I'm a true believer in self confidence and attitude. If you feel good

about who you are then the people around you feel good, if you

consider yourself to be attractive and desirable then others will

too. Sometimes it's hard, even little things like I don't like having

to tell someone to walk slower cause I can't keep up, but I just

maintain the attitude that it's no big deal. Don't worry about

people rejecting you - *you* have power, you might decide to

reject them. You can even treat the pa or p like a test to weed out

the losers who can't see past it - wouldn't you rather know right

away that someone is shallow, or at best, ok but incompatible

with you?

Also, I'm a pretty independent woman and somewhat of a radical

feminist and I think my male friends and lovers really enjoy that

they get to do 'traditional' manly things for me, like work around

the house or carrying a 20 lb bag of kitty litter from the store or

whatever. What's worse - or even harder for me - is that I'm an

*engineer*. I can fix my own damn plumbing! Well, I could, if I

didn't have arthritis... so once I got over the need to prove myself,

I've been enjoying getting people to do stuff for me. I let myself

feel like a spoiled rather than a helpless princess. It's attitude -

" I'll let you take care of me sometimes " rather than " I can't

function without you " .

Sorry about the super long response. Let me know if I should

post shorter messages in the future.

[Ed. Note: mikea93, long well thought out messages are heartily welcomed! We get

far too many unnecessary postings of the " Me to " variety that have no

information content whatever. There is no upper limit (that I'm aware of) on the

length of messages that can be posted here, nor on the amount of messages we can

have in our archives, so please feel free to write a novel if you wish. Ah, a

lady engineer - where were you when I was younger and unmarried! (I'm an

engineer too). Ron]

> For those of you who got diagnosed with p and pa

> before meeting your life partner: how was the dating

> process? Did you feel self conscious about people

> finding out about your condition? Did you fear

> rejection?

> Ps: It may seem a weird question, but living in Miami

> where everybody is so into looks, my social life has

> been hell...

January 29, 2003

I guess I'm lucky - we've been married 10 years in

October, so I've been out of the dating circle for a

long time. I didn't have any problems when we first

met, though because Bev is very understanding and just

loves to take care of me (all together now,

" AHHHHHH!).

I've found that because, I, too, am a very strong

woman (at least on the outside) that when I have bad

days and can't do things for myself, especially around

the church (another long story, slightly off topic and

for another time), where I spend my time when not at

work or in my recliner at home (no wonder I'm always

exhausted and in agony), people usually don't

understand. Most do, however, want to learn about the

disease because they care about me and want to help if

they can.

Work is another story, though. I try not to let the

PA get in the way, but, of course, it does and only my

direct supervisor and one co-worker even want to

understand. This makes life so difficult at times,

but I keep bumping along.

Sorry this is long, but I guess what I'm trying to say

is that we need to be comfortable with ourselves and

the disease so that we can face the situations as they

present themselves and fight the battles that we

choose to fight. (can you tell I'm not doing terribly

well right now? this is more a pep talk for myself

than anything else).

Blessings,

Sam

--- " mika93 <mika93@...> " <mika93@...>

wrote:

---------------------------------

I believe that attitude is everything. Well... I'm

lucky because I

only have small p spots on my body, most of the worst

is hidden

on my scalp (though I am self conscious about my

" dandruff " ).

So I can't speak about that. But as far as the pa is

concerned,

I'm very matter-of-fact about it.

For example, I was sitting with a new guy this past

weekend who

was looking at my feet and said " do you wear shoes

that are too

tight? " cause the bottom joints of my big toes stick

out to the

side. I said " naaah, that's just from my arthritis "

(which he

already knew about). I was a little self conscious,

but hey, it's not

like everyone without pa has beautiful feet, and at

least I have an

excuse! hee hee hee.

Really though, when I meet someone, whether or not

there's

romantic interest my arthritis usually comes up pretty

quickly. It's

either during a meal: " I don't eat nightshades or

citrus " " why? "

" they aggravate my arthritis... " or it's when talking

about

recreation " no I don't do any high impact sports " sort

of thing. I

figure, when you're connecting with someone it's

because you

share common interests, so our limitations really

aren't very

important. Unless the person you're getting to know

feels that

they can't date you unless you participate with them

in *all* their

interests... but I don't like people like that so it

doesn't come up

for me.

I'm a true believer in self confidence and attitude.

If you feel good

about who you are then the people around you feel

good, if you

consider yourself to be attractive and desirable then

others will

too. Sometimes it's hard, even little things like I

don't like having

to tell someone to walk slower cause I can't keep up,

but I just

maintain the attitude that it's no big deal. Don't

worry about

people rejecting you - *you* have power, you might

decide to

reject them. You can even treat the pa or p like a

test to weed out

the losers who can't see past it - wouldn't you rather

know right

away that someone is shallow, or at best, ok but

incompatible

with you?

Also, I'm a pretty independent woman and somewhat of a

radical

feminist and I think my male friends and lovers really

enjoy that

they get to do 'traditional' manly things for me, like

work around

the house or carrying a 20 lb bag of kitty litter from

the store or

whatever. What's worse - or even harder for me - is

that I'm an

*engineer*. I can fix my own damn plumbing! Well, I

could, if I

didn't have arthritis... so once I got over the need

to prove myself,

I've been enjoying getting people to do stuff for me.

I let myself

feel like a spoiled rather than a helpless princess.

It's attitude -

" I'll let you take care of me sometimes " rather than

" I can't

function without you " .

Sorry about the super long response. Let me know if I

should

post shorter messages in the future.

[Ed. Note: mikea93, long well thought out messages are

heartily welcomed! We get far too many unnecessary

postings of the " Me to " variety that have no

information content whatever. There is no upper limit

(that I'm aware of) on the length of messages that can

be posted here, nor on the amount of messages we can

have in our archives, so please feel free to write a

novel if you wish. Ah, a lady engineer - where were

you when I was younger and unmarried! (I'm an engineer

too). Ron]

> For those of you who got diagnosed with p and pa

> before meeting your life partner: how was the dating

> process? Did you feel self conscious about people

> finding out about your condition? Did you fear

> rejection?

> Ps: It may seem a weird question, but living in

Miami

> where everybody is so into looks, my social life has

> been hell...

January 30, 2003

In a message dated 1/29/03 2:51:47 PM Eastern Standard Time,

marka@... writes:

> >It may seem a weird question, but living in Miami

> >where everybody is so into looks, my social life has

> >been hell...

>

> I'm in southern california! It's got to be worse.

>

> I don't know that I had any problems, though my condition was relatively

> mild.

>

Marka,

Why was it mild? are you in remission? You guys need to move to the South!

Much more acceptance here!

[Ed. Note: He *is* in the South - Southern California! Har, har. ;-) Ron]

January 30, 2003

I agree with the Ed. Note. The responses that just say a few words--and I

don't even remember the topic--are not valuable to me. I read every word of

yours.

While we are on the subject of valuable responses--I wish people would post

at the top of responses. That way, I don't have to scroll down to figure

see what they worte--but if I need to figure out what they are talking

about--it is at the bottom.

Ks Di

[ ] Re: Question:

> I believe that attitude is everything. Well... I'm lucky because I

> only have small p spots on my body, most of the worst is hidden

> on my scalp (though I am self conscious about my " dandruff " ).

> So I can't speak about that. But as far as the pa is concerned,

> I'm very matter-of-fact about it.

>

> For example, I was sitting with a new guy this past weekend who

> was looking at my feet and said " do you wear shoes that are too

> tight? " cause the bottom joints of my big toes stick out to the

> side. I said " naaah, that's just from my arthritis " (which he

> already knew about). I was a little self conscious, but hey, it's not

> like everyone without pa has beautiful feet, and at least I have an

> excuse! hee hee hee.

>

> Really though, when I meet someone, whether or not there's

> romantic interest my arthritis usually comes up pretty quickly. It's

> either during a meal: " I don't eat nightshades or citrus " " why? "

> " they aggravate my arthritis... " or it's when talking about

> recreation " no I don't do any high impact sports " sort of thing. I

> figure, when you're connecting with someone it's because you

> share common interests, so our limitations really aren't very

> important. Unless the person you're getting to know feels that

> they can't date you unless you participate with them in *all* their

> interests... but I don't like people like that so it doesn't come up

> for me.

>

> I'm a true believer in self confidence and attitude. If you feel good

> about who you are then the people around you feel good, if you

> consider yourself to be attractive and desirable then others will

> too. Sometimes it's hard, even little things like I don't like having

> to tell someone to walk slower cause I can't keep up, but I just

> maintain the attitude that it's no big deal. Don't worry about

> people rejecting you - *you* have power, you might decide to

> reject them. You can even treat the pa or p like a test to weed out

> the losers who can't see past it - wouldn't you rather know right

> away that someone is shallow, or at best, ok but incompatible

> with you?

>

> Also, I'm a pretty independent woman and somewhat of a radical

> feminist and I think my male friends and lovers really enjoy that

> they get to do 'traditional' manly things for me, like work around

> the house or carrying a 20 lb bag of kitty litter from the store or

> whatever. What's worse - or even harder for me - is that I'm an

> *engineer*. I can fix my own damn plumbing! Well, I could, if I

> didn't have arthritis... so once I got over the need to prove myself,

> I've been enjoying getting people to do stuff for me. I let myself

> feel like a spoiled rather than a helpless princess. It's attitude -

> " I'll let you take care of me sometimes " rather than " I can't

> function without you " .

>

> Sorry about the super long response. Let me know if I should

> post shorter messages in the future.

>

> [Ed. Note: mikea93, long well thought out messages are heartily welcomed!

We get far too many unnecessary postings of the " Me to " variety that have no

information content whatever. There is no upper limit (that I'm aware of) on

the length of messages that can be posted here, nor on the amount of

messages we can have in our archives, so please feel free to write a novel

if you wish. Ah, a lady engineer - where were you when I was younger and

unmarried! (I'm an engineer too). Ron]

>

> > For those of you who got diagnosed with p and pa

> > before meeting your life partner: how was the dating

> > process? Did you feel self conscious about people

> > finding out about your condition? Did you fear

> > rejection?

> > Ps: It may seem a weird question, but living in Miami

> > where everybody is so into looks, my social life has

> > been hell...

>

> Please visit our Psoriatic Arthritis Group's informational web page at:

> http://www.wpunj.edu/pa/ -- created and edited by list member

aka(raharris@...).

>

> In August 2001 list member Jack aka(Cornishpro@...) began to

conduct extensive research which he publishes as the Psoriatic Arthritic

Research Newsletter monthly in our emails and digest format. Many thanks to

Jack. Back issues of the newsletter are stored on our PA webpage.

>

> Also remember that the list archives comprise a tremendous amount of

information (Over two years of messages and answers).Feel free to browse

them at your convenience.

>

> Let's hear from some of you lurkers out there! If you have a comment or

question chances are there is a person who has been around a while who can

help you out with an educated guess for an answer. If not we can at least

steer you in the right direction with a good website to go to for the

answers.

>

> Blessings and Peace,

>

> Atwood-Stack, Founder

> Alan , Web & List Editor

> Jack , Newsletter Editor

> Pat Bias, List Editor

> Ron Dotson, List Editor

> and many others who help moderate (thank you!)

>

January 30, 2003

I would like to hear the church story. Perhaps that could be on our weight

loss page.

Ks Di

Re: [ ] Re: Question:

> I guess I'm lucky - we've been married 10 years in

> October, so I've been out of the dating circle for a

> long time. I didn't have any problems when we first

> met, though because Bev is very understanding and just

> loves to take care of me (all together now,

> " AHHHHHH!).

>

> I've found that because, I, too, am a very strong

> woman (at least on the outside) that when I have bad

> days and can't do things for myself, especially around

> the church (another long story, slightly off topic and

> for another time), where I spend my time when not at

> work or in my recliner at home (no wonder I'm always

> exhausted and in agony), people usually don't

> understand. Most do, however, want to learn about the

> disease because they care about me and want to help if

> they can.

>

> Work is another story, though. I try not to let the

> PA get in the way, but, of course, it does and only my

> direct supervisor and one co-worker even want to

> understand. This makes life so difficult at times,

> but I keep bumping along.

>

> Sorry this is long, but I guess what I'm trying to say

> is that we need to be comfortable with ourselves and

> the disease so that we can face the situations as they

> present themselves and fight the battles that we

> choose to fight. (can you tell I'm not doing terribly

> well right now? this is more a pep talk for myself

> than anything else).

>

> Blessings,

>

> Sam

>

> --- " mika93 <mika93@...> " <mika93@...>

> wrote:

> ---------------------------------

> I believe that attitude is everything. Well... I'm

> lucky because I

> only have small p spots on my body, most of the worst

> is hidden

> on my scalp (though I am self conscious about my

> " dandruff " ).

> So I can't speak about that. But as far as the pa is

> concerned,

> I'm very matter-of-fact about it.

>

> For example, I was sitting with a new guy this past

> weekend who

> was looking at my feet and said " do you wear shoes

> that are too

> tight? " cause the bottom joints of my big toes stick

> out to the

> side. I said " naaah, that's just from my arthritis "

> (which he

> already knew about). I was a little self conscious,

> but hey, it's not

> like everyone without pa has beautiful feet, and at

> least I have an

> excuse! hee hee hee.

>

> Really though, when I meet someone, whether or not

> there's

> romantic interest my arthritis usually comes up pretty

> quickly. It's

> either during a meal: " I don't eat nightshades or

> citrus " " why? "

> " they aggravate my arthritis... " or it's when talking

> about

> recreation " no I don't do any high impact sports " sort

> of thing. I

> figure, when you're connecting with someone it's

> because you

> share common interests, so our limitations really

> aren't very

> important. Unless the person you're getting to know

> feels that

> they can't date you unless you participate with them

> in *all* their

> interests... but I don't like people like that so it

> doesn't come up

> for me.

>

> I'm a true believer in self confidence and attitude.

> If you feel good

> about who you are then the people around you feel

> good, if you

> consider yourself to be attractive and desirable then

> others will

> too. Sometimes it's hard, even little things like I

> don't like having

> to tell someone to walk slower cause I can't keep up,

> but I just

> maintain the attitude that it's no big deal. Don't

> worry about

> people rejecting you - *you* have power, you might

> decide to

> reject them. You can even treat the pa or p like a

> test to weed out

> the losers who can't see past it - wouldn't you rather

> know right

> away that someone is shallow, or at best, ok but

> incompatible

> with you?

>

> Also, I'm a pretty independent woman and somewhat of a

> radical

> feminist and I think my male friends and lovers really

> enjoy that

> they get to do 'traditional' manly things for me, like

> work around

> the house or carrying a 20 lb bag of kitty litter from

> the store or

> whatever. What's worse - or even harder for me - is

> that I'm an

> *engineer*. I can fix my own damn plumbing! Well, I

> could, if I

> didn't have arthritis... so once I got over the need

> to prove myself,

> I've been enjoying getting people to do stuff for me.

> I let myself

> feel like a spoiled rather than a helpless princess.

> It's attitude -

> " I'll let you take care of me sometimes " rather than

> " I can't

> function without you " .

>

> Sorry about the super long response. Let me know if I

> should

> post shorter messages in the future.

>

> [Ed. Note: mikea93, long well thought out messages are

> heartily welcomed! We get far too many unnecessary

> postings of the " Me to " variety that have no

> information content whatever. There is no upper limit

> (that I'm aware of) on the length of messages that can

> be posted here, nor on the amount of messages we can

> have in our archives, so please feel free to write a

> novel if you wish. Ah, a lady engineer - where were

> you when I was younger and unmarried! (I'm an engineer

> too). Ron]

>

> > For those of you who got diagnosed with p and pa

> > before meeting your life partner: how was the dating

> > process? Did you feel self conscious about people

> > finding out about your condition? Did you fear

> > rejection?

> > Ps: It may seem a weird question, but living in

> Miami

> > where everybody is so into looks, my social life has

> > been hell...

>

January 30, 2003

In a message dated 1/29/03 3:22:37 AM Eastern Standard Time,

phatsharpei@... writes:

> For those of you who got diagnosed with p and pa

> before meeting your life partner: how was the dating

> process? Did you feel self conscious about people

> finding out about your condition? Did you fear

> rejection?

> Ps: It may seem a weird question, but living in Miami

> where everybody is so into looks, my social life has

> been hell...

>

There was a time where I felt like damaged goods. I was so " perfect " and

desireable before... as far as health goes... and it took me a while to make

myself feel worthy of love again. Does that make sense? I truly felt like

damaged goods for awhile... and then it was frustrating when guys would see

how outgoing and energetic I am, yet when they shook or held my hand I would

yelp like a dog. I heard the comment " your do young to have arthritis one too

many times.

Have you ever met someone who said they would not be the same person they are

today if they had not experienced some huge loss in their life or dealt with

a very painful chronic illness? I am determined to be that person. I want to

say 10 years from now that this disease made me stronger and more giving of

myself to other people with chronis illnesses. I want to be the woman that

people with other chronic illnesses can look at and say " wow, you can live

and live happily with a chronic illness. " Here is how I have always dealt

with dating and this disease... I don't tell anyone until I know they are in

it for the long haul. I have certainly found that anyone who is truly

interested in me actually is more loving and giving, and amazed at the way I

carry myself and live my life once they learn I have this disease. My current

boyfriend is amazed that I am still such a happy person. He wants me to feel

better, and he thinks I am a very strong woman. He is just sad that I have to

go through this, but at the same time feels if anyone can handle it I can.

Those are very empowering feelings for to feel coming from someone. Real love

is when you hurt when the other person hurts. If someone is attracted to you,

and you to them... take it slow... make sure they are in it for the right

reasons. When you are sure they are in it for the right reasons, reveal this

part of yourself... that is truly what it is, another part of who you are.

Teach them about what this disease entails, and how you are currently dealing

with it. Knowledge is power and power releases fear. The more the know, the

less fearful they will be of your future together and this disease.

I hope this helps a little. Take care of yourself in every way... that always

makes you feel more empowered when it comes to dating. This disease does not

make your self worth any less. You are still the same person... and as

strange as this sounds.. make the most of this disease. Consider that it

happened to you for a reason, and find that reason!

January 30, 2003

All I can say is I wish I had your attitude. Actually I do, until I'm

actually into the relationship, then I become dependent. I'm not sure

why.... but I just do. And this was before the PA set in... I wish I could

change that, I've tried so many times... any suggestions?