vent

October 15, 2009

I am so sorry for your daughter. What if she had read it? My daughter

reads everything that comes home. At the least I would express this

concern to the teacher. if your daughter had read those words how hurt your

daughter would have been. Our public school staff was not sensitive if I would

have escalated a letter like this they probably would have agreed that the

teacher does not have time to talk and missed your point the point that the

teacher is not equipped

to work with special ed kids.

Some teachers have tutoring time for kids, if you stay on friendly

terms with this lady would she be willing to meet once a

week and have a chat with your daughter? Or does your

daughter have a counseling session where she can befriend

a counselor or social worker. My daughter " hates " therapy but

she likes to just talk with adults. Our counselor at school

often played board games with our daughter and talked about her

interests.

My daughter has this same behavior of talking to adults alot.

She also goes off topic during class discussion.

One teacher complained in 4th grade that she went off topic

too much. Same as what your daughter did. It took about 6 months

of reinforcement at a religion class I teach to correct this behavior.

I talked about how we all go off topic. I identified anytime kids

in class brought stuff up that was off topic. It happens all the time

especially with younger kids. The problem with our kids

is that go on way too long. In religion class sometimes my daughter

would start talking about her pets right during the lesson.

Now she is in 6th grade at a small private school where the

staff is more supportive.

I cringe to think of situations like this. They need to learn

social skills but they need kindness, compassion and care too.

Pam

>

> My dd(12 y aspie) had counseling last night but before we got there she handed

me a envelope and said that this was for her counselor from her special ed

teacher. Being me i read it.

> The note starts with some things dd could work on. It then progresses to say

that during writing class the teacher played a song while they were writing and

dd happened to recall the time and place she heard it and felt she had to share

w/sp ed teacher. She called sp ed teacher over and told the story. She reminded

her to stay on task and that she had many other students to help. (Her exact

words). These are the sp ed teachers words. " After class, she approached the

writing teacher and began to tell him the long story. This teacher had other

student coming in and this wasn't a good time to tell her long story. It seems

she frequently stops at the teachers desk after class and wants to talk.This is

a dreaded time for her teachers . i would like to see her learn to receive

social cues in these situations. "

> I took offense to this and the counselor thought it was unusual for the

teachers to dread to talk to her. This is a 12 yold that at the last minute

this year, wanted to go to public school,

> She has no friends and craves to just talk with someone. If they dread to see

my dd come to talk , i am not sure that they are the right educators for my

child. I guess i am a bit ticked that people would actually say that. I must

be a sad bitter person but i am a mother bear. Thanks for letting me vent.

>

October 17, 2009

I'm so sorry. I can understand your feelings. I feel like a protective mother

bear because of things like this, too. I wish that the teachers would consider

the fact that they are the adults here and even though our dds certainly can use

assistance in communication/social skills, our dds are the children here and the

adults could take the initiative to try to learn how to handle situations with

any special needs children in the most kind, tactful, effective way. They are

the adults and are in charge of teaching and caring for our children while

they're in the school. If at least one out every 150 children is dealing with

A.S., plus there are other L.D. children, aren't they (the teachers) getting

instruction about their (the teachers) communication skills with the students,

too? Not to mention that communication with adults about children should be

tactful as well. Sorry...I guess I'm venting a bit here, too. We hurt for our

children.