Re: At what point do you cave in and ......

[Guest guest]

I don't post a lot, but had to reply to you!

I watched my mother go through this - she had diabetic neuropathy and

lost feeling in her feet. She fought every step of the way, first the

cane, then the walker, than a wheelchair when we went out. It limited

what we could do with her so much. And, each time she broke down and

agreed to use a mobility aid, a whole new world opened up to her, and

she would say, why didn't I do this sooner?

I determined that I will use whatever means necessary to get out there

and do things, I will try not to let my mobility issues limit my life!

I walk with a cane, it means I can walk two or three times as far

without tiring or pain, and I don't have to worry as much about

falling. Last year, I insisted on renting a wheelchair for the State

Fair, I knew I would slow us down and maybe limit what the whole

family could do. Hubby was afraid it would upset the grandkids, but

they loved it. They got to take turns riding with grandma - poor

hubby who was pushing, LOL. (they're all toddlers)

Who cares what anyone else thinks? As long as it helps improve the

quality of your life, and your family's life, go for it. I like the

idea of making faces, keep your sense of humor. BTW, who want to be

normal? I want to be special!

South Pasadena, CA / Lilydale, MN

You can see my galleries at http://www.pbase.com/arenared986

M. Schulz - " All you need is love. But a little chocolate now

and then doesn't hurt. "

On Fri, Jul 31, 2009 at 10:20 AM, Dalanne<tombstone1968@...> wrote:

>

>

> Brother. When does one decide to cave in and use those truly " stylish "

> scooters in Walmart? Or ask the spouse to push you in a wheelchair in Lowes?

>

> I & our 3 kids, 15-12-8, spent Sunday nite thru yesterday morning at our

> county 4H Fair. Camped there. I didn't just spend my spoons. I mortgaged &

> second-mortgaged my spoons. My feet/ankles/knees are so painful that I

> didn't unload our crap out of the truck yet! The 15-yr old has a daily

> babysitting job from 7-4, the 12-yr old's at work on the farm with his dad.

> My helper is the 8 yr old and she can only do so much physically. I HAVE to

> restock groceries today (am seriously considering eating Chinese Buffet

> again so I don't have to cook again) but I know I can't do all the walking

> for groceries and still survive to go to Terre Haute with my hubby for

> supper and remodeling supplies.

>

> I am 41 and most people who I see in Walmart don't know that anything is

> wrong with me. Is it normal to get looks of " lazy broad, nothings visibly

> wrong with you " looks? For a laugh is it OK to make faces back? (just

> kidding, of course). Is it normal to feel like a failure for using one of

> the scooters? I know I need to use one today but I really REALLY don't want

> to, which is an irrational line of thought but I'm not normal. ;-) As for a

> wheelchair I'll get farther with him pushing me around as he knows what I'm

> going thru right now. He left me a note telling me that in my sleep I

> groaned & cried while rubbing my knees and feet. That must have been funny

> to watch a BBW curl up in sleep to do all that!

>

[Guest guest]

Hi,

If you need assistance, you need assistance. Nothing to be ashamed of ! IK know

exactly what you are talking about with the " looks " . I remember one time a year

or so ago - I had to use my handicap mirror tag (I use it ONLY when necessary)

at a Wal-Mart.

 

This elderly - very grouchy man stopped in his tracks when he saw me pull into a

handicap spot with that " what's wrong with you " look on his face. I got out of

my car and he yells out to me - " nothing's wrong with you - how dare you park

there " .  I limped over to him and calmly said, " I wouldn't wish what I have on

my worst enemy - try to have yourself a nice day " .  I walked (limped) away. He

just stood there with his jaw open.

 

I felt kinda bad afterwards that I allowed myself to stoop to his level and

respond but I just couldn't stop myself. I'm 47 but luckily, I am blessed with

really good (well, SOME good - some not so good!!) genes so I actually look

about 35. I have learned to ignore the stares and I block out the nasty comments

that I get because I know and my family knows what I go thru and that's all that

counts. So - you do what you need to do to make yourself more comfortable so

that you can do the things you want to do. Don't worry about " others " - they

aren't worth it! 

ltdavis_jrdavis@...

From: Dalanne <tombstone1968@...>

Subject: [ ] At what point do you cave in and ......

Date: Friday, July 31, 2009, 1:20 PM

 

Brother. When does one decide to cave in and use those truly " stylish " scooters

in Walmart? Or ask the spouse to push you in a wheelchair in Lowes?

I & our 3 kids, 15-12-8, spent Sunday nite thru yesterday morning at our county

4H Fair. Camped there. I didn't just spend my spoons. I mortgaged &

second-mortgaged my spoons. My feet/ankles/ knees are so painful that I didn't

unload our crap out of the truck yet! The 15-yr old has a daily babysitting job

from 7-4, the 12-yr old's at work on the farm with his dad. My helper is the 8

yr old and she can only do so much physically. I HAVE to restock groceries today

(am seriously considering eating Chinese Buffet again so I don't have to cook

again) but I know I can't do all the walking for groceries and still survive to

go to Terre Haute with my hubby for supper and remodeling supplies.

I am 41 and most people who I see in Walmart don't know that anything is wrong

with me. Is it normal to get looks of " lazy broad, nothings visibly wrong with

you " looks? For a laugh is it OK to make faces back? (just kidding, of course).

Is it normal to feel like a failure for using one of the scooters? I know I need

to use one today but I really REALLY don't want to, which is an irrational line

of thought but I'm not normal. ;-) As for a wheelchair I'll get farther with him

pushing me around as he knows what I'm going thru right now. He left me a note

telling me that in my sleep I groaned & cried while rubbing my knees and feet.

That must have been funny to watch a BBW curl up in sleep to do all that!

[Guest guest]

Dalanne,

 

Use the motorized chair.  I, too resisted.  Those people we imagine staring at

us were not impressed by my stoicism. They are wrapped up in their own trials.

 

I hate being pushed in a wheelchair. The motorized carts allow you to stop and

go at will.

 

Do not suffer to please strangers. I have learned not to judge my own needs or

allow myself to be judged by others. We must be our own advocates.

 

Forcing myself to walk in large stores is agony I choose to avoid.

Raniolo

From: Dalanne <tombstone1968@...>

Subject: [ ] At what point do you cave in and ......

Date: Friday, July 31, 2009, 1:20 PM

 

Brother. When does one decide to cave in and use those truly " stylish " scooters

in Walmart? Or ask the spouse to push you in a wheelchair in Lowes?

I & our 3 kids, 15-12-8, spent Sunday nite thru yesterday morning at our county

4H Fair. Camped there. I didn't just spend my spoons. I mortgaged &

second-mortgaged my spoons. My feet/ankles/ knees are so painful that I didn't

unload our crap out of the truck yet! The 15-yr old has a daily babysitting job

from 7-4, the 12-yr old's at work on the farm with his dad. My helper is the 8

yr old and she can only do so much physically. I HAVE to restock groceries today

(am seriously considering eating Chinese Buffet again so I don't have to cook

again) but I know I can't do all the walking for groceries and still survive to

go to Terre Haute with my hubby for supper and remodeling supplies.

I am 41 and most people who I see in Walmart don't know that anything is wrong

with me. Is it normal to get looks of " lazy broad, nothings visibly wrong with

you " looks? For a laugh is it OK to make faces back? (just kidding, of course).

Is it normal to feel like a failure for using one of the scooters? I know I need

to use one today but I really REALLY don't want to, which is an irrational line

of thought but I'm not normal. ;-) As for a wheelchair I'll get farther with him

pushing me around as he knows what I'm going thru right now. He left me a note

telling me that in my sleep I groaned & cried while rubbing my knees and feet.

That must have been funny to watch a BBW curl up in sleep to do all that!

[Guest guest]

I think we all get those looks at some time. I know I do. Especially when I park

in handicap spots. Do people really believe they would give us the parking

emblems for our vehicles if we weren't handicapped. I know we do not always look

sick, but dang we almost always feel sick. Her in Iowa venting with you.

Vicki

Iowa

[Guest guest]

Hi Dalanne: I caved in a long time ago. When I broke my shoulder and

foot last year, and was in the hosp. for 3 months, I knew what I had to

do to help myself more. I had extensive P.T., and could not go home

until I was totally healed and could walk on my own 2 feet. I also had

a 35 lb. cast on my foot. I should add that I had to fly home alone,

2500 miles back here to Florida.

I bought my plane ticket, asked the girl to arrange for a wheel chair at

Logan airport, and one in Ft. Myers. Talk about looks from strangers in

both airports!!! There are a lot of ignorant people out there, that's

for sure. Like who would want to be in a wheel chair!!!!

Next after being home, I too went to Wal-Mart, and used the elec. carts.

And I have been doing it ever since. People can look all they want. I

know I can not walk from one end of the store to the other. I find it

very hard to get in and out of these carts. So now, if I need something

from a high shelf, I ask some one to please help me. Everyone, and I

mean everyone, has been so helpful to me. i can't thank them enough.

They have all said, " I am happy to do that for you " . It does bring

tears to my eyes that people do care. People even come over to unload

the basket and put it on the conveyer belt for me. No matter how many

times they help me, and I give thanks, they all say the same thing' I am

happy to help you " . It does restore your faith in man.

I too use my handicap hang tag. Even though I am healed from my recent

knee replacement, and my RA is in remission, my feet suffer from

Neuropathy, not much feeling, and I do stumble at times. I have learned

to tune out stares, and inside I excuse their bad manners. I did

though, nail a very nasty old man and his verbal abuse. I set him

straight, and his mouth fell open!!!!!

You can't judge a book by its cover, and people who do not have any idea

about these ugly diseases, and have no idea what we deal with, and how

much pain we have each and every day of our lives, will never get it.

So, park where you want, ride those wonderful carts, and happy shoping.

I am glad most stores have them. It gives us freedom to shop, and makes

out lives so much easier. I can now, " Shop till I drop. "

Hugs,

Barbara

>

> Brother. When does one decide to cave in and use those truly " stylish "

scooters in Walmart? Or ask the spouse to push you in a wheelchair in

Lowes?

>

> I & our 3 kids, 15-12-8, spent Sunday nite thru yesterday morning at

our county 4H Fair. Camped there. I didn't just spend my spoons. I

mortgaged & second-mortgaged my spoons. My feet/ankles/knees are so

painful that I didn't unload our crap out of the truck yet! The 15-yr

old has a daily babysitting job from 7-4, the 12-yr old's at work on the

farm with his dad. My helper is the 8 yr old and she can only do so much

physically. I HAVE to restock groceries today (am seriously considering

eating Chinese Buffet again so I don't have to cook again) but I know I

can't do all the walking for groceries and still survive to go to Terre

Haute with my hubby for supper and remodeling supplies.

>

> I am 41 and most people who I see in Walmart don't know that anything

is wrong with me. Is it normal to get looks of " lazy broad, nothings

visibly wrong with you " looks? For a laugh is it OK to make faces back?

(just kidding, of course). Is it normal to feel like a failure for using

one of the scooters? I know I need to use one today but I really REALLY

don't want to, which is an irrational line of thought but I'm not

normal. ;-) As for a wheelchair I'll get farther with him pushing me

around as he knows what I'm going thru right now. He left me a note

telling me that in my sleep I groaned & cried while rubbing my knees and

feet. That must have been funny to watch a BBW curl up in sleep to do

all that!

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Dalanne,

I know how you feel, I still can't use the scooter in the store. I not

only feel people will stare, I am totally scared I will run over

everything in sight:) I have anxiety REALLY bad!

There are some days, I can't hardly get around, but I do the best I can.

I'm like you, if I do anything, I can't do my grocery shopping, and tend

to just order out, and get out of it all.

You have beem doing way too much, and you should use the scooter. It

will save you time, and keep your pain level down. I know its hard, but

one day, we'll have to get on it.

I have stares too, and it really pisses me off. These people don't know

me, and its sad there are people in the world so judgemental, over a

parking spot. I've had people curse, give me the finger, and you know

what, who cares. I'm not going to worry about it.

I hope you get all your stuff done, and get some rest,

Tawny

>

> Brother. When does one decide to cave in and use those truly " stylish "

scooters in Walmart? Or ask the spouse to push you in a wheelchair in

Lowes?

>

> I & our 3 kids, 15-12-8, spent Sunday nite thru yesterday morning at

our county 4H Fair. Camped there. I didn't just spend my spoons. I

mortgaged & second-mortgaged my spoons. My feet/ankles/knees are so

painful that I didn't unload our crap out of the truck yet! The 15-yr

old has a daily babysitting job from 7-4, the 12-yr old's at work on the

farm with his dad. My helper is the 8 yr old and she can only do so much

physically. I HAVE to restock groceries today (am seriously considering

eating Chinese Buffet again so I don't have to cook again) but I know I

can't do all the walking for groceries and still survive to go to Terre

Haute with my hubby for supper and remodeling supplies.

>

> I am 41 and most people who I see in Walmart don't know that anything

is wrong with me. Is it normal to get looks of " lazy broad, nothings

visibly wrong with you " looks? For a laugh is it OK to make faces back?

(just kidding, of course). Is it normal to feel like a failure for using

one of the scooters? I know I need to use one today but I really REALLY

don't want to, which is an irrational line of thought but I'm not

normal. ;-) As for a wheelchair I'll get farther with him pushing me

around as he knows what I'm going thru right now. He left me a note

telling me that in my sleep I groaned & cried while rubbing my knees and

feet. That must have been funny to watch a BBW curl up in sleep to do

all that!

>

[Guest guest]

Dalanne,

I'm 33 and I have been brought up in a long line of severely strong minded and

just plain " strong " women. Weakness just isn't an option.. Yet, I have learned

to except (not like!) that when my 13 year old daughter is dying to go to the

mall and I can barely walk that I have to bite the bullet and use one of the

electronic chairs. I also hate the looks and I mostly worried about how my

daughter would feel if we ran into her school mates... The truth be known, my

daughter doesn't care what they think! Imagine that! I should be taking

lessons from her on images... She says at least I want to do things with her

unlike some of her friends parents... She said she wouldn't care if I shaved my

hair into a mo-hawk and died it purple... She's just glad that I'm alive and

willing to do things with her " together " ...

As far as the handi-capped place card goes.... We get these awful looks,

because the use of these cards are abused. I had a co-worker ask me who/where

I got my card from just the other day.... I explained that I have RA/Lupus and

she looked at me surprised and said, " No Sh-t... I got mine from my Aunt who

passed away 6 mths ago... " I gave her a rash of sh-t for abusing something

that some of us actually need and she just laughed and walked away... What!!

The problem is, that I've heard of this happening more then a dozen times in the

short year that I've had mine... Its insane that these place cards aren't being

regulated properly!

That's why when you need to use your handi-capped parking and can't find a place

to park and see all these people being able to walk perfectly fine, you just

can't help but wunder---who's card they have and should they really have it.

Sorry for the rant...

Bonnie

>

> Brother. When does one decide to cave in and use those truly " stylish "

scooters in Walmart? Or ask the spouse to push you in a wheelchair in Lowes?

>

> I & our 3 kids, 15-12-8, spent Sunday nite thru yesterday morning at our

county 4H Fair. Camped there. I didn't just spend my spoons. I mortgaged &

second-mortgaged my spoons. My feet/ankles/knees are so painful that I didn't

unload our crap out of the truck yet! The 15-yr old has a daily babysitting job

from 7-4, the 12-yr old's at work on the farm with his dad. My helper is the 8

yr old and she can only do so much physically. I HAVE to restock groceries today

(am seriously considering eating Chinese Buffet again so I don't have to cook

again) but I know I can't do all the walking for groceries and still survive to

go to Terre Haute with my hubby for supper and remodeling supplies.

>

> I am 41 and most people who I see in Walmart don't know that anything is wrong

with me. Is it normal to get looks of " lazy broad, nothings visibly wrong with

you " looks? For a laugh is it OK to make faces back? (just kidding, of course).

Is it normal to feel like a failure for using one of the scooters? I know I need

to use one today but I really REALLY don't want to, which is an irrational line

of thought but I'm not normal. ;-) As for a wheelchair I'll get farther with him

pushing me around as he knows what I'm going thru right now. He left me a note

telling me that in my sleep I groaned & cried while rubbing my knees and feet.

That must have been funny to watch a BBW curl up in sleep to do all that!

>

[Guest guest]

THanks for the support! I let the groceries go until the way home tonite. I

walked thru Sams Wholesale & got along real good. After we had supper we hit

Books-A-Million. Gollydurn but he takes FOREVER to pick out books! They have

really comfy chairs there. We did Walmart as the last stop and I used the

scooter. We were so busy getting our " crap " that I didn't have time to see if

anyone was staring at me.

All in all? Your advice was solid! I took it and it worked. At this time I do

not have a Handicapped hanger. I'm putting that off until it is absolutely

necessary. Our 15 yr old gets her license in November. She has already told me-

anytime anywhere she'll be happy to slow down for me to tuck and roll.

My arsenal of self-defense weapons includes a smart attitude coupled with a

mouth that can be quite foul at times. I pick my times to really let it go

though. I told our son about my concerns doing the scooter thing. He's so me. He

said, having spent last year learning German, why don't I respond to these

people in German? Good point & practice. Along with the college class I also

learned a lot of " bad words & phrases " so I think I'm all set now. I'm not

afraid of the scooter anymore!

Dalanne

[Guest guest]

I laughed out loud (in a good way!) at your email, Dalanne! Cursing people out

in German - always a good way to go.

I got my handicapped hang tag about five months ago, promising my rheumatologist

I would only use it when absolutely necessary. I have held true to that

promise, but I'm just sorry I waited so long to ask. The days when I need it,

it is a Godsend. I am only 30 - and a rather punk rock 30 - and I do get the

occasional nasty look, but no one has ever said anything about it.

My young-looking and acting 45 year old sister is a lung cancer survivor, and

uses her handicapped tag daily. Countless times have strangers told her off for

" using someone else's handicapped space. " . She has been known to lift up her

shirt and show off her 24 " scar, and lets them know she's had half a lung

removed. A few well placed F-bombs never hurt.

I just kind of figure that my handicapped tag is between me and my doctor, and

it's no one else's problem why I am using it... I'm very over the stigma, and I

encourage you to be, too!! :)

Kate P-B in St. Louis

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

[Guest guest]

well time to put in my two cents worth on the subject.  I have had my handicap

parking card for probably 4 years at least.  There are many days that I do not

even use it and then there are days that I don't and by the time I finish

grocery shopping, can barely walk and put the stuff in my vehicle.  I try to use

if only when absolutely necessary as I know there are others out there that need

it much more than me.  What I hate is when I forget to take it with me when I

ride with someone else.  I have not used an electric cart yet in the store but

if I needed to, I would sure do it.  I work with seniors and people with

disabilities so I probably have a different prospective than some people. 

Anyway hope you are all having pain free days.  I notice since our humidity went

up, my pain has...........oh well, better than cold and rain.

Pat in So. Oregon

Bureau Alvarez

From: Dalanne <tombstone1968@...>

Subject: [ ] Re: At what point do you cave in and ......

Date: Friday, July 31, 2009, 9:13 PM

 

THanks for the support! I let the groceries go until the way

home tonite. I walked thru Sams Wholesale & got along real good. After we had

supper we hit Books-A-Million. Gollydurn but he takes FOREVER to pick out books!

They have really comfy chairs there. We did Walmart as the last stop and I used

the scooter. We were so busy getting our " crap " that I didn't have time to see

if anyone was staring at me.

All in all? Your advice was solid! I took it and it worked. At this time I do

not have a Handicapped hanger. I'm putting that off until it is absolutely

necessary. Our 15 yr old gets her license in November. She has already told me-

anytime anywhere she'll be happy to slow down for me to tuck and roll.

My arsenal of self-defense weapons includes a smart attitude coupled with a

mouth that can be quite foul at times. I pick my times to really let it go

though. I told our son about my concerns doing the scooter thing. He's so me. He

said, having spent last year learning German, why don't I respond to these

people in German? Good point & practice. Along with the college class I also

learned a lot of " bad words & phrases " so I think I'm all set now. I'm not

afraid of the scooter anymore!

Dalanne

[Guest guest]

I did the same as some of you guys. I had a temporary hang tag when I had bad

control and only used it when I was flaring. I got a few quizzical looks at

first, but I was always limping so no one said anything. I was resistant too,

but I was working at Walter reed and had a 15 min walk from the staff garage. I

was in tears by the time I got to my building.

Sent from my iPhone

On Jul 31, 2009, at 11:13 PM, " Dalanne " <tombstone1968@...> wrote:

THanks for the support! I let the groceries go until the way home tonite. I

walked thru Sams Wholesale & got along real good. After we had supper we hit

Books-A-Million. Gollydurn but he takes FOREVER to pick out books! They have

really comfy chairs there. We did Walmart as the last stop and I used the

scooter. We were so busy getting our " crap " that I didn't have time to see if

anyone was staring at me.

All in all? Your advice was solid! I took it and it worked. At this time I do

not have a Handicapped hanger. I'm putting that off until it is absolutely

necessary. Our 15 yr old gets her license in November. She has already told me-

anytime anywhere she'll be happy to slow down for me to tuck and roll.

My arsenal of self-defense weapons includes a smart attitude coupled with a

mouth that can be quite foul at times. I pick my times to really let it go

though. I told our son about my concerns doing the scooter thing. He's so me. He

said, having spent last year learning German, why don't I respond to these

people in German? Good point & practice. Along with the college class I also

learned a lot of " bad words & phrases " so I think I'm all set now. I'm not

afraid of the scooter anymore!

Dalanne

[Guest guest]

Hi Dalanne - so sorry you are having such a tough time of things. I know what

its like to go way past your allotment of spoons and regret it for days

afterwards.

I use a scooter in every store that I can. Hubby found me a nice wheelchair at a

pawn shop for times when there is no scooter. I get the looks - disgust at me -

pity at my husband. The way I see it is SCREW THEM! Sorry, but that's how I

feel. They don't live in our bodies - they don't know what we go through on a

daily basis and IMHO, most of them wouldn't be able to handle what we are forced

to deal with on a daily basis. If you need a scooter - use it! We have to do

what we have to do.

My hubby has told me that I've moaned alot and/or cried out in my sleep

sometimes too, so you are not alone there either. Praying you're feeling better

soon.....Doreen

Brother. When does one decide to cave in and use those truly " stylish " scooters

in Walmart? Or ask the spouse to push you in a wheelchair in Lowes?

I & our 3 kids, 15-12-8, spent Sunday nite thru yesterday morning at our county

4H Fair. Camped there. I didn't just spend my spoons. I mortgaged &

second-mortgaged my spoons. My feet/ankles/knees are so painful that I didn't

unload our crap out of the truck yet! The 15-yr old has a daily babysitting job

from 7-4, the 12-yr old's at work on the farm with his dad. My helper is the 8

yr old and she can only do so much physically. I HAVE to restock groceries today

(am seriously considering eating Chinese Buffet again so I don't have to cook

again) but I know I can't do all the walking for groceries and still survive to

go to Terre Haute with my hubby for supper and remodeling supplies.

I am 41 and most people who I see in Walmart don't know that anything is wrong

with me. Is it normal to get looks of " lazy broad, nothings visibly wrong with

you " looks? For a laugh is it OK to make faces back? (just kidding, of course).

Is it normal to feel like a failure for using one of the scooters? I know I need

to use one today but I really REALLY don't want to, which is an irrational line

of thought but I'm not normal. ;-) As for a wheelchair I'll get farther with him

pushing me around as he knows what I'm going thru right now. He left me a note

telling me that in my sleep I groaned & cried while rubbing my knees and feet.

That must have been funny to watch a BBW curl up in sleep to do all that!

[Guest guest]

Dalanne,

Glad you used the scooter, and your not scared of it anymore. I need to do the

same thing, on the days I can hardly go. I think your son is so right, what a

plan of action,lol You go girl!!!!

I hope you get some rest this weekend, its time for a little R & R for you.

Take it easy,

Tawny

>

> THanks for the support! I let the groceries go until the way home tonite. I

walked thru Sams Wholesale & got along real good. After we had supper we hit

Books-A-Million. Gollydurn but he takes FOREVER to pick out books! They have

really comfy chairs there. We did Walmart as the last stop and I used the

scooter. We were so busy getting our " crap " that I didn't have time to see if

anyone was staring at me.

>

> All in all? Your advice was solid! I took it and it worked. At this time I do

not have a Handicapped hanger. I'm putting that off until it is absolutely

necessary. Our 15 yr old gets her license in November. She has already told me-

anytime anywhere she'll be happy to slow down for me to tuck and roll.

>

> My arsenal of self-defense weapons includes a smart attitude coupled with a

mouth that can be quite foul at times. I pick my times to really let it go

though. I told our son about my concerns doing the scooter thing. He's so me. He

said, having spent last year learning German, why don't I respond to these

people in German? Good point & practice. Along with the college class I also

learned a lot of " bad words & phrases " so I think I'm all set now. I'm not

afraid of the scooter anymore!

>

> Dalanne

>

[Guest guest]

When I go to the supermarket, I'm in my wheelchair with hubby pushing and I have

a disabled trolley attached to the front of the chair. It's like a train by the

time it's cuppled up. Yes I get looks and the tuts for taking up room, and one

very informative " lady " even went out of her way to tell me that a tuesday is

shopping day for the disabled!!! Thank you very much indeed for that information

madam, but when and if,I ever become disabled, I will bare that in mind.

The thing that really makes me laugh, is when they talk to Barry about me. I let

them go on for a minute, before saying to Barry that my " bag " needs emptying,

bet you forgot the bucket again.

The best ever laugh I had, was last year, there had been a spate of young ones

with hoods going in and shoplifting, and the cameras couldn't see their faces. A

big notice went up saying hoods were prohibited. RED RAG TO A BULL...so I put my

hood up before going in and the greeter said sorry but could you put your hood

down, I know it's silly but rules are rules. I said how far do you think I'd get

in my getaway chair before you caught me?

I never used to be like this, I blame it on the drugs. Just had a thought, now

that I have Swine Flu, I could always go and say loudly, where's the meds for

swine flu, the store would empty in a minute. Won't be today though as I

couldn't go out if I tried with this nausea.

Before I go to bed, it's nearly 6am and I've had quite enough fun for the night.

Just to wish Dennis all the luck in the world, you can fight it Dennis, stay

strong. To Tawny,Clora and all others struggling just now, my love and best

wishes. Sue can't imagine what you're going through too. I'm in a similar

position but different. A couple of weeks back my son, d.i.l. and gorgeous 5

year old grandaughter were moving in with us til their new house was ready. On

26 July they split up, d.i.l.( having an affair), but our son came here with

and moved in and got a Residency Order. He goes back to court this Tuesday

to hopefully have it extended. Obviously we are fighting her all the way, as we

have looked after every day mon-fri since she was born as d.i.l. wanted to

work full time. has always had her own bedroom here as she had stopovers

every week and when she was poorly(d.i.l. couldn't cope) so don't fancy her

chances of custody. Would

you believe she tried to use my disability against me. Didn't seem to be a

problem all these years up til now. We are 90% sure will stay here with

her daddy. The alternative doesn't bear thinking about. So Sue, when I'm

praying for us, you will most definately be included. Stay strong.

Love and hugs

x

________________________________

From: CATHERINE RANIOLO <c.raniolo@...>

Sent: Friday, 31 July, 2009 19:02:08

Subject: Re: [ ] At what point do you cave in and ......

Dalanne,

Use the motorized chair. I, too resisted. Those people we imagine staring at

us were not impressed by my stoicism. They are wrapped up in their own trials.

I hate being pushed in a wheelchair. The motorized carts allow you to stop and

go at will.

Do not suffer to please strangers. I have learned not to judge my own needs or

allow myself to be judged by others. We must be our own advocates.

Forcing myself to walk in large stores is agony I choose to avoid.

Raniolo

From: Dalanne <tombstone1968>

Subject: [ ] At what point do you cave in and ......

@gro ups.com

Date: Friday, July 31, 2009, 1:20 PM

Brother. When does one decide to cave in and use those truly " stylish " scooters

in Walmart? Or ask the spouse to push you in a wheelchair in Lowes?

I & our 3 kids, 15-12-8, spent Sunday nite thru yesterday morning at our county

4H Fair. Camped there. I didn't just spend my spoons. I mortgaged &

second-mortgaged my spoons. My feet/ankles/ knees are so painful that I didn't

unload our crap out of the truck yet! The 15-yr old has a daily babysitting job

from 7-4, the 12-yr old's at work on the farm with his dad. My helper is the 8

yr old and she can only do so much physically. I HAVE to restock groceries today

(am seriously considering eating Chinese Buffet again so I don't have to cook

again) but I know I can't do all the walking for groceries and still survive to

go to Terre Haute with my hubby for supper and remodeling supplies.

I am 41 and most people who I see in Walmart don't know that anything is wrong

with me. Is it normal to get looks of " lazy broad, nothings visibly wrong with

you " looks? For a laugh is it OK to make faces back? (just kidding, of course).

Is it normal to feel like a failure for using one of the scooters? I know I need

to use one today but I really REALLY don't want to, which is an irrational line

of thought but I'm not normal. ;-) As for a wheelchair I'll get farther with him

pushing me around as he knows what I'm going thru right now. He left me a note

telling me that in my sleep I groaned & cried while rubbing my knees and feet.

That must have been funny to watch a BBW curl up in sleep to do all that!