I love this group!

[Guest guest]

I don't post all that often, but I read like crazy here and have just

learned so much from all of you. I love that you're all honest on your

journeys and that no-one pretends this is just another weight loss

plan. I LOVE it!

The last few weeks have been interesting for me. I have been on a huge

eating spree and decided early on to just let myself alone. Not to

berate myself or beat myself up. I ate and ate and ate and ate.

A couple of days ago, I was going for a walk (I love to walk) and I

got to thinking. I have a 5 year old daughter adopted from Guatemala.

She came from a background of severe malnutrition and neglect. When

she first came home, she would eat and eat and eat. Way past the point

of fullness, but unable to grasp the fact that there was always going

to be food. Always on the lookout for her next food, and not caring

what it was as long as it was in her mouth. Now almost 2 years into

being home, she's tapered off significantly. She seems to eat what she

wants, when she's hungry and isn't so obsessed with food.

And that made me think. Maybe many (most?) of us come from a place,

not of malnutrition, but from a mindset of constantly " starving "

ourselves and never allowing ourselves to eat what we really want to

have and when we are hungry. By the time we embrace the IE lifestyle,

we, like my daughter, feel the need to ravage the fridge and the

cupboards. Maybe when we being IE, we CAN'T grasp that we can truly

have whatever, whenever. Maybe those " diet " principles are so strongly

ground in our heads that we can't just jump past them and jump

full-force into IE. Maybe we need to let ourselves realize that this

too will pass and just be tender with ourselves (as so many of you

have said).

With that in mind, I just let myself be these last few weeks. I kept

reminding myself that I could have whatever I wanted when I was

hungry. I rarely stuck to or waited for hunger, and never listened for

fullness, but I just kept talking to myself much as I had to my

daughter when she first came home.

And you know what? Last night, as I sat eating a pop tart it really

struck me.

I don't like pop tarts.

I began thinking of what I truly liked, and realized that I just don't

like or want some things anymore.

Today I woke up and I just...feel something different. I know in my

heart that I can have whatever. I know that there will be a lifetime

of wonderful foods to pick from and that I have the RIGHT to be

choosy. I know that I can wait. I feel like the need to stuff myself

silly is just...gone? I know I won't be perfect from here on out, but

I also seem to have crossed into something new. I am craving

delicious, wonderful food and most of it, interestingly, is things I

want to make in my own kitchen. Things I love. Things made with love

for myself.

Have any of you gone through something like this? Where you just

finally realized you don't like everything and you no longer WANT

everything?

dawn

[Guest guest]

Dawn thanks for sharing this wonderful post and Bravo to you. Hugs Eva

I don't post all that often, but I read like crazy here and have justlearned so much from all of you. I love that you're all honest on yourjourneys and that no-one pretends this is just another weight lossplan. I LOVE it! :)The last few weeks have been interesting for me. I have been on a hugeeating spree and decided early on to just let myself alone. Not toberate myself or beat myself up. I ate and ate and ate and ate. A couple of days ago, I was going for a walk (I love to walk) and Igot to thinking. I have a 5 year old daughter adopted from Guatemala.She came from a background of severe malnutrition and neglect. Whenshe first came home, she would eat and eat and eat. Way past the pointof fullness, but unable to grasp the fact that there was always goingto be food. Always on the lookout for her next food, and not caringwhat it was as long as it was in her mouth. Now almost 2 years intobeing home, she's tapered off significantly. She seems to eat what shewants, when she's hungry and isn't so obsessed with food. And that made me think. Maybe many (most?) of us come from a place,not of malnutrition, but from a mindset of constantly "starving"ourselves and never allowing ourselves to eat what we really want tohave and when we are hungry. By the time we embrace the IE lifestyle,we, like my daughter, feel the need to ravage the fridge and thecupboards. Maybe when we being IE, we CAN'T grasp that we can trulyhave whatever, whenever. Maybe those "diet" principles are so stronglyground in our heads that we can't just jump past them and jumpfull-force into IE. Maybe we need to let ourselves realize that thistoo will pass and just be tender with ourselves (as so many of youhave said). With that in mind, I just let myself be these last few weeks. I keptreminding myself that I could have whatever I wanted when I washungry. I rarely stuck to or waited for hunger, and never listened forfullness, but I just kept talking to myself much as I had to mydaughter when she first came home. And you know what? Last night, as I sat eating a pop tart it reallystruck me. I don't like pop tarts. I began thinking of what I truly liked, and realized that I just don'tlike or want some things anymore. Today I woke up and I just...feel something different. I know in myheart that I can have whatever. I know that there will be a lifetimeof wonderful foods to pick from and that I have the RIGHT to bechoosy. I know that I can wait. I feel like the need to stuff myselfsilly is just...gone? I know I won't be perfect from here on out, butI also seem to have crossed into something new. I am cravingdelicious, wonderful food and most of it, interestingly, is things Iwant to make in my own kitchen. Things I love. Things made with lovefor myself. Have any of you gone through something like this? Where you justfinally realized you don't like everything and you no longer WANTeverything? dawn------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

So happy for you Dawn Yes, I have had a realization or two since

starting IE, and those came just like you observed - with TIME. Being

kind and gentle with yourself is one of the first and best steps most

of us 'get', and the next, and more difficult step is giving yourself

the gift of time. Bravo for you to do this for yourself and I'm glad

you had your daughter to show you the way too

Keep in touch as you can, your posts are what make this group work too

Ehugs, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> Today I woke up and I just...feel something different. I know in my

> heart that I can have whatever. I know that there will be a lifetime

> of wonderful foods to pick from and that I have the RIGHT to be

> choosy. I know that I can wait. I feel like the need to stuff myself

> silly is just...gone? I know I won't be perfect from here on out, but

> I also seem to have crossed into something new. I am craving

> delicious, wonderful food and most of it, interestingly, is things I

> want to make in my own kitchen. Things I love. Things made with love

> for myself.

>

> Have any of you gone through something like this? Where you just

> finally realized you don't like everything and you no longer WANT

> everything?

>

> dawn

>

[Guest guest]

Wow, that is an incredibly moving post to me. I thought I was getting "it" - that I could eat whatever I wanted. But I have binged 3 times in the past month. It happened last night.

Instead of beating myself up, I realized a few things - I still don't beleive I can truly eat what I want in the quantity I want, but that it is ok, this is a process AND (this is big) I was binging because I felt vulnerable and unprotected. I always knew I binged to numb out feelings, but I have never been able to identify exactly what the feelings were. Usually I felt some anger and resentment/hurt.

After binging last night, I realized how vulnerable I was feeling. Suddenly, I totally GOT the "inner little girl" stuff I've heard about. My inner little girl was feeling unsafe. It was a very powerful recognition for me. When I was a child, I felt unprotected - from my younger brother who hit me alot and from a babysitter who molested me. My parents truly did the best they could, but could not protect me in the ways I needed. All of this came to me last night because I binged. I feel different this morning. I can visualize my inner little girl and my inner wise woman holding hands now, with the present day me with them!! Now I get to figure out how to keep myself emotionally safe and secure.

If I hadn't binged last night, then followed an IE concept of being gently with myself about it, then journalling, I would not have made this connection.

Oh, my intuition feels stronger now, too. Must be part of the wise woman!!

Thanks for reading all this. This is a great support group.

Kim

IE since Aug 08

Subject: I love this group!To: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Saturday, September 13, 2008, 9:36 AM

I don't post all that often, but I read like crazy here and have justlearned so much from all of you. I love that you're all honest on yourjourneys and that no-one pretends this is just another weight lossplan. I LOVE it! :)The last few weeks have been interesting for me. I have been on a hugeeating spree and decided early on to just let myself alone. Not toberate myself or beat myself up. I ate and ate and ate and ate. A couple of days ago, I was going for a walk (I love to walk) and Igot to thinking. I have a 5 year old daughter adopted from Guatemala.She came from a background of severe malnutrition and neglect. Whenshe first came home, she would eat and eat and eat. Way past the pointof fullness, but unable to grasp the fact that there was always goingto be food. Always on the lookout for her next food, and not caringwhat it was as long as it was in her mouth. Now almost 2 years

intobeing home, she's tapered off significantly. She seems to eat what shewants, when she's hungry and isn't so obsessed with food. And that made me think. Maybe many (most?) of us come from a place,not of malnutrition, but from a mindset of constantly "starving"ourselves and never allowing ourselves to eat what we really want tohave and when we are hungry. By the time we embrace the IE lifestyle,we, like my daughter, feel the need to ravage the fridge and thecupboards. Maybe when we being IE, we CAN'T grasp that we can trulyhave whatever, whenever. Maybe those "diet" principles are so stronglyground in our heads that we can't just jump past them and jumpfull-force into IE. Maybe we need to let ourselves realize that thistoo will pass and just be tender with ourselves (as so many of youhave said). With that in mind, I just let myself be these last few weeks. I keptreminding myself that

I could have whatever I wanted when I washungry. I rarely stuck to or waited for hunger, and never listened forfullness, but I just kept talking to myself much as I had to mydaughter when she first came home. And you know what? Last night, as I sat eating a pop tart it reallystruck me. I don't like pop tarts. I began thinking of what I truly liked, and realized that I just don'tlike or want some things anymore. Today I woke up and I just...feel something different. I know in myheart that I can have whatever. I know that there will be a lifetimeof wonderful foods to pick from and that I have the RIGHT to bechoosy. I know that I can wait. I feel like the need to stuff myselfsilly is just...gone? I know I won't be perfect from here on out, butI also seem to have crossed into something new. I am cravingdelicious, wonderful food and most of it, interestingly, is things Iwant

to make in my own kitchen. Things I love. Things made with lovefor myself. Have any of you gone through something like this? Where you justfinally realized you don't like everything and you no longer WANTeverything? dawn

[Guest guest]

Subject: Re: I love this group!To: IntuitiveEating_Support Received: Saturday, September 13, 2008, 3:28 PM

Dawn thanks for sharing this wonderful post and Bravo to you. Hugs Eva

In a message dated 9/13/2008 8:37:00 A.M. Central Daylight Time, dawn.z.69gmail (DOT) com writes:

I don't post all that often, but I read like crazy here and have justlearned so much from all of you. I love that you're all honest on yourjourneys and that no-one pretends this is just another weight lossplan. I LOVE it! :)The last few weeks have been interesting for me. I have been on a hugeeating spree and decided early on to just let myself alone. Not toberate myself or beat myself up. I ate and ate and ate and ate. A couple of days ago, I was going for a walk (I love to walk) and Igot to thinking. I have a 5 year old daughter adopted from Guatemala.She came from a background of severe malnutrition and neglect. Whenshe first came home, she would eat and eat and eat. Way past the pointof fullness, but unable to grasp the fact that there was always goingto be food. Always on

the lookout for her next food, and not caringwhat it was as long as it was in her mouth. Now almost 2 years intobeing home, she's tapered off significantly. She seems to eat what shewants, when she's hungry and isn't so obsessed with food. And that made me think. Maybe many (most?) of us come from a place,not of malnutrition, but from a mindset of constantly "starving"ourselves and never allowing ourselves to eat what we really want tohave and when we are hungry. By the time we embrace the IE lifestyle,we, like my daughter, feel the need to ravage the fridge and thecupboards. Maybe when we being IE, we CAN'T grasp that we can trulyhave whatever, whenever. Maybe those "diet" principles are so stronglyground in our heads that we can't just jump past them and jumpfull-force into IE. Maybe we need to let ourselves realize that thistoo will pass and just be tender with ourselves (as so many of

youhave said). With that in mind, I just let myself be these last few weeks. I keptreminding myself that I could have whatever I wanted when I washungry. I rarely stuck to or waited for hunger, and never listened forfullness, but I just kept talking to myself much as I had to mydaughter when she first came home. And you know what? Last night, as I sat eating a pop tart it reallystruck me. I don't like pop tarts. I began thinking of what I truly liked, and realized that I just don'tlike or want some things anymore. Today I woke up and I just...feel something different. I know in myheart that I can have whatever. I know that there will be a lifetimeof wonderful foods to pick from and that I have the RIGHT to bechoosy. I know that I can wait. I feel like the need to stuff myselfsilly is just...gone? I know I won't be perfect from here on out, butI also seem to have

crossed into something new. I am cravingdelicious, wonderful food and most of it, interestingly, is things Iwant to make in my own kitchen. Things I love. Things made with lovefor myself. Have any of you gone through something like this? Where you justfinally realized you don't like everything and you no longer WANTeverything? dawn------------ --------- --------- ------

[Guest guest]

Oups, sorry about the empty reply. Thanks for sharing this, Dawn. I found that children have a lot to show us in general (I have a 4 years old, natural intuitive eater...)

Take care,

Nat

Subject: Re: I love this group!To: IntuitiveEating_Support Received: Saturday, September 13, 2008, 3:28 PM

Dawn thanks for sharing this wonderful post and Bravo to you. Hugs Eva

In a message dated 9/13/2008 8:37:00 A.M. Central Daylight Time, dawn.z.69gmail (DOT) com writes:

I don't post all that often, but I read like crazy here and have justlearned so much from all of you. I love that you're all honest on yourjourneys and that no-one pretends this is just another weight lossplan. I LOVE it! :)The last few weeks have been interesting for me. I have been on a hugeeating spree and decided early on to just let myself alone. Not toberate myself or beat myself up. I ate and ate and ate and ate. A couple of days ago, I was going for a walk (I love to walk) and Igot to thinking. I have a 5 year old daughter adopted from Guatemala.She came from a background of severe malnutrition and neglect. Whenshe first came home, she would eat and eat and eat. Way past the pointof fullness, but unable to grasp the fact that there was always goingto be food. Always on

the lookout for her next food, and not caringwhat it was as long as it was in her mouth. Now almost 2 years intobeing home, she's tapered off significantly. She seems to eat what shewants, when she's hungry and isn't so obsessed with food. And that made me think. Maybe many (most?) of us come from a place,not of malnutrition, but from a mindset of constantly "starving"ourselves and never allowing ourselves to eat what we really want tohave and when we are hungry. By the time we embrace the IE lifestyle,we, like my daughter, feel the need to ravage the fridge and thecupboards. Maybe when we being IE, we CAN'T grasp that we can trulyhave whatever, whenever. Maybe those "diet" principles are so stronglyground in our heads that we can't just jump past them and jumpfull-force into IE. Maybe we need to let ourselves realize that thistoo will pass and just be tender with ourselves (as so many of

youhave said). With that in mind, I just let myself be these last few weeks. I keptreminding myself that I could have whatever I wanted when I washungry. I rarely stuck to or waited for hunger, and never listened forfullness, but I just kept talking to myself much as I had to mydaughter when she first came home. And you know what? Last night, as I sat eating a pop tart it reallystruck me. I don't like pop tarts. I began thinking of what I truly liked, and realized that I just don'tlike or want some things anymore. Today I woke up and I just...feel something different. I know in myheart that I can have whatever. I know that there will be a lifetimeof wonderful foods to pick from and that I have the RIGHT to bechoosy. I know that I can wait. I feel like the need to stuff myselfsilly is just...gone? I know I won't be perfect from here on out, butI also seem to have

crossed into something new. I am cravingdelicious, wonderful food and most of it, interestingly, is things Iwant to make in my own kitchen. Things I love. Things made with lovefor myself. Have any of you gone through something like this? Where you justfinally realized you don't like everything and you no longer WANTeverything? dawn------------ --------- --------- ------

[Guest guest]

Dawn, you make an EXCELLENT point. We DO need to be kind and gentle

with ourselves and PATIENT. I have to remind myself of that many

times each week.

I often think about the study mentioned in the beginning of

the " Honor Your Hunger " chapter of " Intuitive Eating " . The authors

discuss a study done on 32 men, selected because of their superior

physical and mental health. For a 6 month period, their normal

caloric intake was cut in half, to an average of 1,570 per day.

The authors explain that after the 6 months, when the men were once

again allowed to eat at will, their hunger was insatiable. They found

it difficult to stop eating and consumed between 8,000 and 10,000

calories during weekend splurges. And here is the sentence that

jumped out at me. " It took the majority of men an average of five

months to normalize their eating. "

Five months. Five months to normalize their eating after 6 months of

being on a diet. I have dieted on and off for 35 years. I have to

expect it is going to take me a very long time to normalize my

eating. And due to the fact that I have had an abnormal relationship

with food since my earliest childhood memories, and I had no idea

what " normal eating " was until I discovered Intuitive Eating 6 months

ago, I suspect that will make this even more challenging.

The authors also make the point that this study was done in the

1940's, so we can conclude that their obsession with food was not

media driven or society driven. It was triggered by a biological

survival mechanism.

We, on the other hand, are dealing with our biological survival

mechanism AS WELL AS being constantly bombarded by the pressure to be

thin and/or on a diet from all directions, by the media, by our

friends and families, and society in general. That is a LOT to

contend with and that is what I try to remember when I am beating

myself up for having " one of those days " when I can't seem to stop

eating or just want to eat junk food all day.

It is wonderful that you have had the experience of watching your

daughter's relationship with food change over a two year period. It

is wonderful for her sake as well as your own. That gives you, and

us, since you were kind enough to share this story with us, a

realistic idea of the length of time it can take to develop a normal

relationship with food.

There is no quick fix for this. This is going to take time. And that

is okay.

[Guest guest]

>

I feel different this morning. I can visualize my inner little girl

and my inner wise woman holding hands now, with the present day me

with them!! Now I get to figure out how to keep myself emotionally

safe and secure.

>  

Hi Kim,

It is exciting that you were able to have this breakthrough. Who

would have imagined that practicing something called " Intuitive

Eating " would lead to so many major, life changing moments of clarity

and understanding as you had last night? I have had many of these

moments myself since starting my intuitive eating journey six months

ago. I feel like I have uncovered more long buried hurts and pain and

anger and fear than I could have done in YEARS of therapy! (Not to

mention spending only $13.95 on a book instead of many thousands of

dollars!)

And the other good news is that Intuitive Eating is also very

empowering so that we can eventually find the strength to cope with

these intense feelings and the wisdom to deal with them.

I am happy for you.