Guest guest Posted September 28, 2008 Report Share Posted September 28, 2008 Hey Dawn, Sorry you are going throught such a tough time. I can totally relate because I did that before too, and I still do it sometimes. I am working on this with a therapist and she told me, sit with your feeling and feel it, and then, decide what would help you and do it. For me most of the time the choice is eating or drinking to forget about it. This is a possible choice. However, something striked me: she said, the feeling will still be there after. But if you choose to feel it totally, you will emerge out of it o.k. And there are other choices: calling a friend, taking a bath, etc... But it is so hard. Hang in there. Nat Subject: Numbing...To: IntuitiveEating_Support Received: Sunday, September 28, 2008, 12:31 AM I am using food to numb myself.The last two days have been a painful blur of stuffing my face.Everytime I didn't have food in my hand or my mouth, I started tofeel, and I just wanted all the painful feelings to go away.So I kept eating and eating and eating.Tonight I'm exhausted.Mentally and even physically.As I sat forcing my food into my already full belly, thoughts began toform. "Is this really taking away ANY pain? Or is it just a temporary,and very momentary, fix?"And I kept eating.But the seed had been planted.This way of doing my life just isn't working.I'm sitting here right now with a glass of water, wondering where allthe time has gone. And realizing that maybe it's time to begin to justfeel those feelings. The pain can't be worse than the need to dull it.THAT is pain. Looking for the perfect gift? Give the gift of Flickr! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 28, 2008 Report Share Posted September 28, 2008 Dawn: This is so hard sometimes, isn't it? I am where you are, still eating to numb feelings but gaining an awareness of it all. It's like realizing you are and alcoholic. It sort of takes the " fun " out of drinking! Just realizing what are doing, and seeing that there are alternatives is a huge step! > > I am using food to numb myself. > > The last two days have been a painful blur of stuffing my face. > Everytime I didn't have food in my hand or my mouth, I started to > feel, and I just wanted all the painful feelings to go away. > > So I kept eating and eating and eating. > > Tonight I'm exhausted. > > Mentally and even physically. > > As I sat forcing my food into my already full belly, thoughts began to > form. " Is this really taking away ANY pain? Or is it just a temporary, > and very momentary, fix? " > > And I kept eating. > > But the seed had been planted. > > This way of doing my life just isn't working. > > I'm sitting here right now with a glass of water, wondering where all > the time has gone. And realizing that maybe it's time to begin to just > feel those feelings. The pain can't be worse than the need to dull it. > > THAT is pain. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 28, 2008 Report Share Posted September 28, 2008 Dawn Z I see a couselor myself for post traumatic stress-I have lived a life of many hardships and found I was no longer able to handle them myself. Post traumatic stress had been something I thought only those who went to war suffered from but I found out differently. Intuitive Eating was a like a light bulb moment that came in late March after I began counseling last January. I realized I was self medicating with food because I associated love, good moments and even safety with food. In order to feel loved, happy and safe I ate. In turn I was miserable because of my weight and over all fear that eating would destroy my health in the long run. If you feel it is necessary to numb yourself with any manner of things, be it food, exercise, sex, drugs, alcohol, etc. it may be time to seek counseling. While I am not saying you have the same condition that I do it is apparant that you are suffering and may need to seek outside help. I do hope this does not sound harsh or judgemental; I am often accused of being too straight forward, however, I am very much a realist and if you are in that kind of pain it may be time to reach out and seek help for it. Sometimes we are not able to deal with the pain we suffer from because of things we have experienced in our past-many of which we may not even be aware of.... There is nothing wrong with admitting that and seeking the help of those who devote their lives to the service of others. Dawn H [intuitiveEating_ Support] Numbing...To: IntuitiveEating_ Support@yahoogro ups.comReceived: Sunday, September 28, 2008, 12:31 AM I am using food to numb myself.The last two days have been a painful blur of stuffing my face.Everytime I didn't have food in my hand or my mouth, I started tofeel, and I just wanted all the painful feelings to go away.So I kept eating and eating and eating.Tonight I'm exhausted.Mentally and even physically.As I sat forcing my food into my already full belly, thoughts began toform. "Is this really taking away ANY pain? Or is it just a temporary,and very momentary, fix?"And I kept eating.But the seed had been planted.This way of doing my life just isn't working.I'm sitting here right now with a glass of water, wondering where allthe time has gone. And realizing that maybe it's time to begin to justfeel those feelings. The pain can't be worse than the need to dull it.THAT is pain. Looking for the perfect gift? Give the gift of Flickr! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 28, 2008 Report Share Posted September 28, 2008 , that is a great analogy. > > > > I am using food to numb myself. > > > > The last two days have been a painful blur of stuffing my face. > > Everytime I didn't have food in my hand or my mouth, I started to > > feel, and I just wanted all the painful feelings to go away. > > > > So I kept eating and eating and eating. > > > > Tonight I'm exhausted. > > > > Mentally and even physically. > > > > As I sat forcing my food into my already full belly, thoughts began > to > > form. " Is this really taking away ANY pain? Or is it just a > temporary, > > and very momentary, fix? " > > > > And I kept eating. > > > > But the seed had been planted. > > > > This way of doing my life just isn't working. > > > > I'm sitting here right now with a glass of water, wondering where > all > > the time has gone. And realizing that maybe it's time to begin to > just > > feel those feelings. The pain can't be worse than the need to dull > it. > > > > THAT is pain. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 3, 2008 Report Share Posted October 3, 2008 Dawn wrote: > I am using food to numb myself. I do this, too. The last days I ate way more than usually as it seems. Or at least it felt like this. While I only occasionally felt " stuffed " in the last year or so, I felt " stuffed " quite several times during the last two weeks. I can see how weak the " new ways " compared to the " old ways " still are. With the ever growing anxiety and pressure I fall back to old behavior, and even though I'm aware of it I'm only partly able to stop it. Regards s. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.