Guest guest Posted March 24, 2009 Report Share Posted March 24, 2009 its late, 2:05 am , tuesday morning. haven't been able to sleep tonight. one of those nights. not a lot of pain right now, just worry .... i get a lot on my mind and there is no sleeping for me. have you ever had so many things to worry about, that you don't know which one to worry about first.... and then the worries all run together and so you just sit down and cry. lord, i wish i had anybody to talk to. i have noone since my sister died three yrs. ago. we talked about every thing. now i am totally alone. i miss her so bad. i have a jar on her grave, and i write down all my thoughts and put them in the jar. .... ya'll please don't think i'm crazy, i'm really not. just my way of talking to her. she died with COPD, and she suffered so long. i was holding her head in my arms when she died. my husband never went to see her, didn't even go with me to her funeral, i went by myself. such a cruel man..... got to get out of this depression...!!! today i had a bad day with my pain, and no strength. i don't know what i'd do without my lortabs. i guess you can become addicted to them. at this point with my pain, i really don't care if i do. when my hands stop hurting, my back, shoulders, and hips and knees start. always something hurting...lol... yep..! ! !! always in pain. as the saying goes, if you're not hurting, you might be dead....lol...o k.. judy, your post was so beautiful when you said you sit quietly and close your eyes, and think of your body whole again. thats heaven you are talking about, you know. to me that is what heaven will be like. no more pain, a new body, no more tears...peace and joy and love, and being with the lord jesus. then, we won't hurt any more. when i read everyones posts, i feel so much fear and pain. fear of the pain and fear of the medicines. god bless you all. you are all so brave. living like this is not easy, and so many of you are in a lot worse shape than i'm in. i respect and admire all of ya'll. i pray for you all. guess i've taken up too much of ya'll's time here. i'm sorry. just lonesome tonight. god bless, comfort and love to you all, BETTY PRAY FOR OUR TROOPS MAY NO SOLDIER GO UNLOVED, MAY NO SOLDIER WALK ALONE, MAY NO SOLDIER BE FORGOTTEN, UNTIL THEY ALL COME HOME. SOLDIER'S ANGELS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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