hey-newbie :)

[Guest guest]

Hey everyone, I'm a college Junior whos just getting started truly

Intuitive Eating. It all started my freshman year, when I left home

for the first time and become SEVERELY depressed and had a lot of

anxiety. I didn't recognize the symptoms (my whole body went numb, I

had rashes on my neck, not being able to sleep) but I began to lose

weight-quickly. It was odd to me, I'm 5'4 " and had always been about

125 without trying. I had an extremely healthy relationship with

food, although my older sister has a long history of eating disorders

including anorexia and bulimia and all that stuff. I saw what she

went through and vowed to never let food control me like that. And it

didn't.

By the end of my first year I was down to about 105. (!?! crazy I

know) It was insane-I couldn't keep weight on no matter what I did.

Eventually I was put on antidepressants and started seeing and

therapist and got through my depression. The main thing that

concerned me then was the fact that although I had gained some weight

back, I was still only 110 at 5'4 " -and I knew that wasn't how I was

supposed to be. So I got nervous all over again and tried to gain

weight to get back to 125. WELL... gain I did. And then some. By the

summer after my sophmore year my high was about 140.

So here I am now, trying to get back down to 125 (i'm about 129 now)

and am meeting some roadblocks. I've read Intuitive Eating and know

that thats exactly how I used to be!!! It's so frustrating,

especially because I'm trying so hard to lose weight in a healthy

way, when all I wind up doing is bingeing anyway because I'm

depriving myself.

So todays my second day of giving up on the food fight haha. Except I

find myself wanting to eat ALL THE TIME and am finding it sort of

alarming. Do any of you have advice on how to stay with it? I'm just

scared I'll wind up getting back up to 140 and having to start all

over again. How long did it take you guys to become Intuitive Eaters?