High Speed Intuitive Eating

August 23, 2008

Hi all,

I think only my fellow intuitive eaters will understand and get a

chuckle out of this story. Tonight I had to take my mother to the

Emergency Room for the second time this week. Luckily this time it was

a false alarm. (Sunday's trip wasn't and she was hospitalized for 2

nights.)Since I rarely get out of the house due to caring for my mother

who has late stage Alzheimer's, I decided to live it up and take my

mother out for a late supper at a restaurant near the hospital.

Unfortunately, once we were seated, I discovered they were closing in

about 25 minutes. Since my mother is the world's slowest eater, I knew

we needed to order FAST. But wait! I am an intuitive eater! I have to

really feel satisfied about what I am ordering and eating. So as my

mother is shredding her napkin into bits(her favorite pasttime) and I

am trying to contain the mess, I am speed reading this large menu like

you wouldn't believe and my mind is having a conversation like this:

" Tuna! I want tuna! Do they have tuna? I don't see tuna. How can they

not have tuna? Everyone has tuna. Nope, no tuna. Hmmm...lobster roll?

That's kind of close to tuna. Not really. Maybe I should just get an

appetizer. Cheezy bread sticks? Sounds good. But that's not enough.

Soup? No, not in the mood for soup. Sure wish they had tuna. No tuna,

move on, Cath. Deep fried pickles? Never heard of such a thing. Sounds

interesting. Okay, have to try that. What in God's name goes with deep

fried pickles? Hmmm...Philly cheese steak sandwich? That has

possibilities. TICK TOCK, TICK TOCK. Have to decide, fast! Hey,

lasagna, that sounds good. No, too heavy. Am I getting a Philly cheese

steak sandwich just so I can have deep fried pickles. Maybe. So what?

JUST ORDER SOMETHING, CATHY! (picking up a million pieces of napkin all

over the table.)

So I " analyzed " about 60 items on the menu in about 3 minutes. Maybe

you had to " be there " , as in my brain, to see how funny this was. And

after all that, my dinner was TERRIBLE. LOL. Well, the deep fried dill

pickles were kind of tasty but the sandwich was a real loser.

THE END.

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