Guest guest Posted September 24, 2008 Report Share Posted September 24, 2008 Hi Shar, just wanted to say I feel the exact same way. I want nothing to do with the dieting world ever again. IE will be with me for life - this is exactly what I've needed/wanted. Just working on the emotional eating. I had Goodies last night just because; I was not hungry, I wanted them, I ate them, I enjoyed them at the time, I did not beat myself up. I did not feel so great afterward as it was too close for bed for me and I was uncomfortable. I prefer to have a big steeping cup of Nighty Night tea now instead of eating, I did not have it last night and I missed it. It relaxes me and helps me to sleep. I really enjoy the feeling of the warm liquid flowing down my throat - really puts me at ease. Take care, J. > > Reading you, Dawn, as if from your journal, inspires me to write as well. I can see where > it would be helpful. I thank you for doing that, it really helps the readers, I think, if any > one is like me and being helped by what you and others write. > > I used to count calories, lost weight doing it, ate whatever I wanted as long as I counted > the calories of it. Then I didn't want to count calories any more. I didn't want to weigh > and measure food. I didn't want to go to various sites to see what the calorie per serving > was. I didn't want to limit what I could eat to whether I knew what the calorie count was. > I didn't want to go through every single ingredient of a recipe to get the calorie count per > serving or not eat it at all. I didn't want to any more. > > There was really no where else to go because > every thing was either counting and > measuring or limited to certain foods only. I could not see my self doing that forever! > And there were times when I went out to dinner that I " simply " eye balled the plate > and figured what the calorie count must be as I moved food around on the plate to > portion the meal out. > > I wanted to make peace with food and with my body. I want to. Not there yet but > I am moving in that direction. > > Being here, having my books now, reading on line, the " seed is planted " and using > that figuratively, I now water and fertilize the seed, make sure it has enough light > and expect it to grow for an eventual harvest that will continue to feed me and > give me life. But I know I must do my part, I cannot neglect this new life that is > in the seed. > > Someone said baby steps, that is a good figure as well. It is happening. My eating > is beginning to settle down. I go back and forth with my diet > mentality but then > remind my self not to go there. I can see making IE another diet because that is > what food has been to me since age 12 (first diet). > > Then there is the late night eating. What is it? what does it mean? what does it > represent? > > My challenge is the comfort part. At night. I get great comfort at noshing away > at night and being sedated by the food. I am by my self and I am nurturing and > comforting my self. It makes me gain weight. Eating a lot at bedtime. I've always > had a snack at bedtime, a small one, but this is different. This is purposeful. > This is self mothering, with a plate of cookies. Do I need to stop it? or find > a different way to self mother? and what would a different way be? I think of the > Betty Crocker image of a mom with an apron on, warm and welcoming and > smiling, while holding a tray of cookies or presiding over a table laded with > a feast of food in a sunny happy kitchen. > Being cared for, taken care of. Being > pampered. No one does that for me. Where is my lap to lay my head on while > my hair is petted and caressed? I do it with food. Sweet food. But it is killing me. > It kills my body and organs. Such a shame! To have to give up those moments. > But it is a fantasy. There is no Betty Crocker mom smiling and lovingly holding > a plate of cookies. I have to find something else that will make me feel nurtured > without killing me. If I take this away, I need to replace it with something else. > But what? I'm not sure. Or will I be just fine without it all together? My late night > eating. Lots to think about. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 24, 2008 Report Share Posted September 24, 2008 Shar_ley, Wow. I'm sitting here thinking you must be me. Keep journaling. For some reason, talking to myself like this is starting to solidify some things in my heart and not just my head. You are so worth the nurturing. And here's a little insight for you. Last night after I typed here. I went in the living room to sit for a bit. It was the first time I went in there without food. As I sat, I pulled a soft blanket over my legs because it was chilly. You know what? The blanket is soft, and cool, and comforting. I never FELT the blanket before. It made me smile as I cuddled up under it. And then I just stopped. There were crickets chirping. I never realized that. And so I sat there in the dark, quiet, feeling the blanket, listening to the sounds of night, and letting myself be comforted and alive to ALL OF IT. It felt wonderful. dawn > > Reading you, Dawn, as if from your journal, inspires me to write as well. I can see where > it would be helpful. I thank you for doing that, it really helps the readers, I think, if any > one is like me and being helped by what you and others write. > > I used to count calories, lost weight doing it, ate whatever I wanted as long as I counted > the calories of it. Then I didn't want to count calories any more. I didn't want to weigh > and measure food. I didn't want to go to various sites to see what the calorie per serving > was. I didn't want to limit what I could eat to whether I knew what the calorie count was. > I didn't want to go through every single ingredient of a recipe to get the calorie count per > serving or not eat it at all. I didn't want to any more. > > There was really no where else to go because > every thing was either counting and > measuring or limited to certain foods only. I could not see my self doing that forever! > And there were times when I went out to dinner that I " simply " eye balled the plate > and figured what the calorie count must be as I moved food around on the plate to > portion the meal out. > > I wanted to make peace with food and with my body. I want to. Not there yet but > I am moving in that direction. > > Being here, having my books now, reading on line, the " seed is planted " and using > that figuratively, I now water and fertilize the seed, make sure it has enough light > and expect it to grow for an eventual harvest that will continue to feed me and > give me life. But I know I must do my part, I cannot neglect this new life that is > in the seed. > > Someone said baby steps, that is a good figure as well. It is happening. My eating > is beginning to settle down. I go back and forth with my diet > mentality but then > remind my self not to go there. I can see making IE another diet because that is > what food has been to me since age 12 (first diet). > > Then there is the late night eating. What is it? what does it mean? what does it > represent? > > My challenge is the comfort part. At night. I get great comfort at noshing away > at night and being sedated by the food. I am by my self and I am nurturing and > comforting my self. It makes me gain weight. Eating a lot at bedtime. I've always > had a snack at bedtime, a small one, but this is different. This is purposeful. > This is self mothering, with a plate of cookies. Do I need to stop it? or find > a different way to self mother? and what would a different way be? I think of the > Betty Crocker image of a mom with an apron on, warm and welcoming and > smiling, while holding a tray of cookies or presiding over a table laded with > a feast of food in a sunny happy kitchen. > Being cared for, taken care of. Being > pampered. No one does that for me. Where is my lap to lay my head on while > my hair is petted and caressed? I do it with food. Sweet food. But it is killing me. > It kills my body and organs. Such a shame! To have to give up those moments. > But it is a fantasy. There is no Betty Crocker mom smiling and lovingly holding > a plate of cookies. I have to find something else that will make me feel nurtured > without killing me. If I take this away, I need to replace it with something else. > But what? I'm not sure. Or will I be just fine without it all together? My late night > eating. Lots to think about. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 24, 2008 Report Share Posted September 24, 2008 I'll try it. Is it Celestial Seasonings brand? organic food store or reg. store? I prefer to have a big steeping cup of Nighty Night tea now instead of eating, I did not have it last night and I missed it. It relaxes me and helps me to sleep. I really enjoy the feeling of the warm liquid flowing down my throat - really puts me at ease. Take care, J. -- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 24, 2008 Report Share Posted September 24, 2008 Thanks Dawn. Yes, there (must be) other things that nurture. IE is about finding that there is more than food!I am sitting here typing, listening to ny Mathis on youtube, I love his voice. Songs from the 60's or so. He is singing Heavenly. It soothes me. Today went well. Shar_ley, Wow. I'm sitting here thinking you must be me. Keep journaling. For some reason, talking to myself like this is starting to solidify some things in my heart and not just my head. You are so worth the nurturing. And here's a little insight for you. Last night after I typed here. I went in the living room to sit for a bit. It was the first time I went in there without food. As I sat, I pulled a soft blanket over my legs because it was chilly. You know what? The blanket is soft, and cool, and comforting. I never FELT the blanket before. It made me smile as I cuddled up under it. And then I just stopped. There were crickets chirping. I never realized that. And so I sat there in the dark, quiet, feeling the blanket, listening to the sounds of night, and letting myself be comforted and alive to ALL OF IT. It felt wonderful. dawn --- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 25, 2008 Report Share Posted September 25, 2008 It's quite amazing how life opens up to us and we discover new ways, experiences, and awarenesses that comfort us. > As I sat, I pulled a soft blanket over my legs because it was chilly. You know what? The blanket is soft, and cool, and comforting. I never FELT the blanket before. It made me smile as I cuddled up under it. And then I just stopped. There were crickets chirping. I never realized that. And so I sat there in the dark, quiet, feeling the blanket, listening to the sounds of night, and letting myself be comforted and alive to ALL OF IT. It felt wonderful. > > dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 25, 2008 Report Share Posted September 25, 2008 It is called Traditional Medicinals (small print at top) Organic Nighty Night. I can get the teas at drug stores, health food stores and bulk barn, they have many different kinds. I grabbed a container of chocolate covered peanuts last night quickly put them away and made the tea instead and felt much better. Take care, J. > > > > > > > > > > > > > Â I prefer to have a > > big steeping cup of Nighty Night tea now instead of eating, I did not > > have it last night and I missed it. It relaxes me and helps me to > > sleep. I really enjoy the feeling of the warm liquid flowing down my > > throat - really puts me at ease. > > > > Take care, > > J. > > > > -- > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 25, 2008 Report Share Posted September 25, 2008 Shar-ley, I so relate to what you are saying. I do the same thing - nurture myself in the evenings with food. And it is a habit. I started it when I was in elementary school and I would come home to our large house and no one was home. It was scary for me. So I comforted myself in front of the TV snacking on whatever I could find. And I have carried on that tradition all my life and it is very hard to change. As far as the " Betty Crocker Mother " and you say it is a fantasy. Can you use that fantasy to subcosciously soothe that little girl inside of you that does need that nurturing? I learned through a life coach that I worked with how to imagine my adult self taking care of the little girl inside of me and that I am now giving that little girl what she needs - hugs, kisses, caresses, soft whispers of encouragement and compassion and loving. It is amazing how this can make you feel loved and nurtured and taken care of. The difference is that you, today, as an adult are giving what you need to the wounded part of yourself. Alana -- In IntuitiveEating_Support , Shar ley wrote: > > Reading you, Dawn, as if from your journal, inspires me to write as well. I can see where > it would be helpful. I thank you for doing that, it really helps the readers, I think, if any > one is like me and being helped by what you and others write. > > I used to count calories, lost weight doing it, ate whatever I wanted as long as I counted > the calories of it. Then I didn't want to count calories any more. I didn't want to weigh > and measure food. I didn't want to go to various sites to see what the calorie per serving > was. I didn't want to limit what I could eat to whether I knew what the calorie count was. > I didn't want to go through every single ingredient of a recipe to get the calorie count per > serving or not eat it at all. I didn't want to any more. > > There was really no where else to go because > every thing was either counting and > measuring or limited to certain foods only. I could not see my self doing that forever! > And there were times when I went out to dinner that I " simply " eye balled the plate > and figured what the calorie count must be as I moved food around on the plate to > portion the meal out. > > I wanted to make peace with food and with my body. I want to. Not there yet but > I am moving in that direction. > > Being here, having my books now, reading on line, the " seed is planted " and using > that figuratively, I now water and fertilize the seed, make sure it has enough light > and expect it to grow for an eventual harvest that will continue to feed me and > give me life. But I know I must do my part, I cannot neglect this new life that is > in the seed. > > Someone said baby steps, that is a good figure as well. It is happening. My eating > is beginning to settle down. I go back and forth with my diet > mentality but then > remind my self not to go there. I can see making IE another diet because that is > what food has been to me since age 12 (first diet). > > Then there is the late night eating. What is it? what does it mean? what does it > represent? > > My challenge is the comfort part. At night. I get great comfort at noshing away > at night and being sedated by the food. I am by my self and I am nurturing and > comforting my self. It makes me gain weight. Eating a lot at bedtime. I've always > had a snack at bedtime, a small one, but this is different. This is purposeful. > This is self mothering, with a plate of cookies. Do I need to stop it? or find > a different way to self mother? and what would a different way be? I think of the > Betty Crocker image of a mom with an apron on, warm and welcoming and > smiling, while holding a tray of cookies or presiding over a table laded with > a feast of food in a sunny happy kitchen. > Being cared for, taken care of. Being > pampered. No one does that for me. Where is my lap to lay my head on while > my hair is petted and caressed? I do it with food. Sweet food. But it is killing me. > It kills my body and organs. Such a shame! To have to give up those moments. > But it is a fantasy. There is no Betty Crocker mom smiling and lovingly holding > a plate of cookies. I have to find something else that will make me feel nurtured > without killing me. If I take this away, I need to replace it with something else. > But what? I'm not sure. Or will I be just fine without it all together? My late night > eating. Lots to think about. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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