Feelings of Helplessness

[Guest guest]

Sometimes I think that's all it is about for me: feelings of

helplessness.

The depression, the grief, the anxiety, the anger, the hopelessness, the

obsession, the compulsion... like these feelings only mask helplessness

and the fear and the pain and frustration it causes.

I wonder how the strong and normal people cope with helplessness, the

missed opportunities, the regret. But then I think: maybe they had a

" normal " life from the beginning on. Almost everything went right from

birth until today. Some obstacles, yes. But not destroyed dreams and

plans and hopes from an early age on.

Life is unfair, I'm bitter and helpless and I'm unable to cope with

that.

Regards

s.

[Guest guest]

" I wonder how the strong and normal people cope with helplessness, the

> missed opportunities, the regret. But then I think: maybe they had a

> " normal " life from the beginning on. Almost everything went right from

> birth until today. Some obstacles, yes. But not destroyed dreams and

> plans and hopes from an early age on. "

I wonder this too. But Styx, we CAN'T give up. We just can't.

dawnz

[Guest guest]

Feelings of helplessness like any other intense emotion wants to be

felt and recognized, wants to move...and wants to be transformed.

When I was deep in crisis, I had this recurring image go through my

head that I kept falling down and I couldn't get up...I had no

strength and I didn't want to go on. I had a dream one night, that I

was in the deepest blue ocean treading water and then I started to

sink...I was scared...as I kept struggling to the surface...I sank

further until I just gave up and let myself sink into a bottomless

abyss. When I was going through this time, I still functioned...I went

to work everyday and acted like everything was fine...and then I went

home at night and fell apart...it was the first time in my life were I

felt truly helpless, I didn't understand what was happening, and

anything I did to try to fix my life did not work. The vision that I

had for my life crumbled and I didn't know what to do.

Several years have gone by since that time, I've done alot of healing

work, though I didn't know if I'd ever feel whole again. A couple of

months ago, I had a vision about that same ocean in my dream and I

knew for the first time that it was a place of safety, protection, and

rejuvenation for me...somewhere I could go and be held in a cocoon of

support. I had to learn how to let go after holding myself so tight

and strict...after trying to be perfect and believing that I could fix

everything and thinking that I always knew what was best for me. I had

to learn how to accept the flow of life although I still struggle

against it sometimes. I share this to say that your experiences of

helplessness in your life can transform. I know helplessness pretty

well...though sadness is really what I hold onto. Find what brings you

joy and beauty, put one foot in front of the other, and learn to let

go. When you can learn to let go of " helplessness " ...let it move

through your body...you'll be amazed about what else can come through.

The IE principles have an inherent wholeness and healing to them. So,

praticing them has brought even more feelings of wholeness and healing

to my life. I hope that you find the strength and resources that will

support you.

Latoya

Practicing IE since Jan '08

PS. reading works of authors who talked to my experience and

connecting with others who had encountered and worked with difficult

times in their life was very helpful. These are two quotes that I

received recently that spoke of finding inner strength to me.

" If we begin to get in touch with whatever we feel with some kind of

kindness, our protective shells will melt, and we'll find that more

areas of our lives are workable. "

~Pema Chodron, When Things Fall Apart

" In the stillness of the quiet, if we listen, we can hear the whisper

of the heart giving strength to weakness, courage to fear, hope to

despair. " ~ Thurman

>

" I wonder how the strong and normal people cope with helplessness, the

missed opportunities, the regret. But then I think: maybe they had

a " normal " life from the beginning on. Almost everything went right

from birth until today. Some obstacles, yes. But not destroyed dreams

and plans and hopes from an early age on. "

> I wonder this too. But Styx, we CAN'T give up. We just can't.

> dawnz

[Guest guest]

It sounds like you are in a lot of pain, so sorry to hear that.

Life does seem unfair and random. I would have to say, though, that

everyone suffers - if not in themselves, then their family or

extended family. That is the " normal " part to me. We are all normal

here, because we do suffer. Those that I would call " healthy " have

learned to deal with suffering in a different way, that is, they did

not develop the habit of turning to food, drugs, alcohol or other

substances outside of themselves.

Twelve step groups have shown me that everyone suffers; everyone is

dealing with burdens of some sort or another, despite how good they

may look on the outside. At one of my first Overeating Anonymous

meetings, a well-dressed beautiful thin gal got up (and I

thought " what is SHE doing here? " ) and started describing her daily

fight to hide her bulimia. She was suffering too, but was managing

to keep it together on the outside.

When I get particularly depressed and feeling helpless, it helps me

to remember Eleanor Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln. Both of these

figures suffered in their personal lives (ER - an alcoholic father, a

self-absorbed mother, overbearing MIL and AL suffered what must have

been depression). Both were able to turn that suffering into

compassion for others and did marvelous things and improved society.

I hope today seems brighter for you!

P.S. Take a look at the book " Lincoln's Melancholy:How Depression

Challenged a President and Fueled His Greatness " by Wolf

Shenk - it's a wonderful read!

>

> Sometimes I think that's all it is about for me: feelings of

> helplessness.

>

> The depression, the grief, the anxiety, the anger, the

hopelessness, the

> obsession, the compulsion... like these feelings only mask

helplessness

> and the fear and the pain and frustration it causes.

>

> I wonder how the strong and normal people cope with helplessness,

the

> missed opportunities, the regret. But then I think: maybe they had a

> " normal " life from the beginning on. Almost everything went right

from

> birth until today. Some obstacles, yes. But not destroyed dreams and

> plans and hopes from an early age on.

>

> Life is unfair, I'm bitter and helpless and I'm unable to cope with

> that.

>

> Regards

> s.

>