Guest guest Posted October 6, 2008 Report Share Posted October 6, 2008 Nothing is silly to write about and as I am an emotional eater I understand I struggle with emotional eating every day and I have learned it is best to let your feelings out in some way. Eva Hi Everyone!The weekend before last I spent the entire weekend either eating or thinking about it. It was an awful weekend, partly because I was feeling anxiety. My house was a mess and it was making me anxious, but instead of cleaning I wanted to eat. So the house stayed messy and I ate. No progress made there!This past weekend, with awareness that clutter in my home causes anxiety, I decided that we were all going to clean. And we did. And I had a much better food weekend, eating when I was hungry. I did eat without hunger last night, but not to a large extent. This is a perfect example of eating to deal with emotions. I see it very clearly now, and the good news is that I can change my behavior. For the longest time I thought it was all about what and when I ate, but really it isn't about food at all! I can now acknowledge that clutter makes me nervous, and work in a non-dramatic way to avoid clutter in the house and in turn avoid eating to quell anxiety. How on earth did food get inserted into my cleaning routine, lol?? It seems almost silly to write about, but I literally have been struggling with this dynamic ever since I have lived away from my parents (I am 46).------------------------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 6, 2008 Report Share Posted October 6, 2008 Hi I always had a clutter problem. It got worst when I moved to my house, my son was a baby and we had to renovate for 3 years. I gained a lot of weight with the anxiety coming with all that clutter. I live clutter like a lost of control over my life. It drives me crazy and I just can`t stop the clutter from acumulating everywhere. My husband is worst that me. I know all the techniques about clutter, how to get rid of it but I just can`t deal with it right now. I can`t face it. How did you manage to do it? Nat Subject: Eating and CleaningTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Received: Monday, October 6, 2008, 9:14 AM Hi Everyone!The weekend before last I spent the entire weekend either eating or thinking about it. It was an awful weekend, partly because I was feeling anxiety. My house was a mess and it was making me anxious, but instead of cleaning I wanted to eat. So the house stayed messy and I ate. No progress made there!This past weekend, with awareness that clutter in my home causes anxiety, I decided that we were all going to clean. And we did. And I had a much better food weekend, eating when I was hungry. I did eat without hunger last night, but not to a large extent. This is a perfect example of eating to deal with emotions. I see it very clearly now, and the good news is that I can change my behavior. For the longest time I thought it was all about what and when I ate, but really it isn't about food at all! I can now acknowledge that clutter makes me nervous, and work in a non-dramatic way to avoid clutter in the house and in turn avoid eating to quell anxiety. How on earth did food get inserted into my cleaning routine, lol?? It seems almost silly to write about, but I literally have been struggling with this dynamic ever since I have lived away from my parents (I am 46). Yahoo! Canada Toolbar : Search from anywhere on the web and bookmark your favourite sites. Download it now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 6, 2008 Report Share Posted October 6, 2008 Hi , That doesn't sound at all silly to me. Food associated with love/being cared for has to go back to our first suckling! Later associations have to develop as well. Good for you to make this connection. And if you really want to 'work thru' this, you can come clean my house anytime - LOL!! Good job Katcha IEing since March 2007 > I can now acknowledge that > clutter makes me nervous, and work in a non-dramatic way to avoid > clutter in the house and in turn avoid eating to quell anxiety. How on > earth did food get inserted into my cleaning routine, lol?? It seems > almost silly to write about, but I literally have been struggling with > this dynamic ever since I have lived away from my parents (I am 46). > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 6, 2008 Report Share Posted October 6, 2008 Hi Nat: I made the connection clutter=anxiety=eat. Just having that awareness helped me to make a different choice. I am sure I will have to work on this alot, but at least I now have a starting point. I never could understand it before. I mean, why is it so difficult to clean and be organized? Other, normal people do it as a matter of course, why couldn't I? Part of the anxiety for me stems from simply being overwhelmed by it, and unable to focus and get it done. And I also have others in the house that are not exactly neat-nicks. They add to the clutter and my frustration as well. I am talking about my kids, and that adds to the anxiety because I feel I should be teaching them to be neat and organized and I can't even do it myself! Ack! In IntuitiveEating_Support , Nathalie Boisvert wrote: > > Hi > I always had a clutter problem. It got worst when I moved to my house, my son was a baby and we had to renovate for 3 years. I gained a lot of weight with the anxiety coming with all that clutter. I live clutter like a lost of control over my life. It drives me crazy and I just can`t stop the clutter from acumulating everywhere. My husband is worst that me. I know all the techniques about clutter, how to get rid of it but I just can`t deal with it right now. I can`t face it. How did you manage to do it? > Nat > > > > > Subject: Eating and Cleaning > To: IntuitiveEating_Support > Received: Monday, October 6, 2008, 9:14 AM > > > > > > > Hi Everyone! > > The weekend before last I spent the entire weekend either eating or > thinking about it. It was an awful weekend, partly because I was > feeling anxiety. My house was a mess and it was making me anxious, but > instead of cleaning I wanted to eat. So the house stayed messy and I > ate. No progress made there! > > This past weekend, with awareness that clutter in my home causes > anxiety, I decided that we were all going to clean. And we did. And I > had a much better food weekend, eating when I was hungry. I did eat > without hunger last night, but not to a large extent. > > This is a perfect example of eating to deal with emotions. I see it > very clearly now, and the good news is that I can change my behavior. > For the longest time I thought it was all about what and when I ate, > but really it isn't about food at all! I can now acknowledge that > clutter makes me nervous, and work in a non-dramatic way to avoid > clutter in the house and in turn avoid eating to quell anxiety. How on > earth did food get inserted into my cleaning routine, lol?? It seems > almost silly to write about, but I literally have been struggling with > this dynamic ever since I have lived away from my parents (I am 46). > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________________________ > Instant Messaging, free SMS, sharing photos and more... Try the new Yahoo! Canada Messenger at http://ca.beta.messenger.yahoo.com/ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 6, 2008 Report Share Posted October 6, 2008 Oh my gosh, sometimes I just wish I was one of those people that is constantly cleaning and keeps their house spotless. On the other hand, they probably have as much stress around it as I do! > > I can now acknowledge that > > clutter makes me nervous, and work in a non-dramatic way to avoid > > clutter in the house and in turn avoid eating to quell anxiety. How on > > earth did food get inserted into my cleaning routine, lol?? It seems > > almost silly to write about, but I literally have been struggling with > > this dynamic ever since I have lived away from my parents (I am 46). > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 6, 2008 Report Share Posted October 6, 2008 Hi , you wrote: " The weekend before last I spent the entire weekend either eating or thinking about it. It was an awful weekend, partly because I was feeling anxiety. " --I can SOOO relate to this. Sometimes it seems like my mind gets into an anxiety rut and it's hard to get out of it. It's like I need something (some certain interaction, some certain word of advice, some ceratain happening) that will pick me up out of the anxiety rut, but it's hard for me to do it on my own. I wish I knew how to end it myself, instead of feeling like I have no control over when I " snap out of it " , so to speak. Thanks for posting; it's nice to be able to relate to others. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 6, 2008 Report Share Posted October 6, 2008 I like to watch a show on Fit TV and I think it is called Neat. This coach comes in and helps them sort through their stuff, then they clear out the room and redecorate it. She is always talking about the emotional connection to our stuff as well as the emotional overwhelm. As I read these posts about clutter, I hear a lot of shoulds. I happen to be more on the opposite end of the spectrum. I live in a small condo. About every 6 months I go through a closet or a dresser and sort through my stuff and my rule is if I haven't used in 6 mos to a yr. it's time to get rid of it. I find I function so much more effeciently and I'm more grounded and stable emotionally if I keep the clutter under tabs. I would recommend starting out slow. Pick one thing to go through. A drawer, maybe, or a shelf. And just go through that one thing and decide what you want to keep and what might be a maybe and a definately throw out or give away. And then the next day or next weekend or next month do another drawer or shelf or closet etc. Before you know it you will have cleaned up that one area. Who says you have to do it all right this moment? And you might want to asses the emotional connections to some items. You might be hanging onto something because if reminds you of someone or a different time in your life. Maybe create a special box for those memories to store in. Later on you might decide that you are ready to give it up. Hope these suggestions help. Alana > > I can now acknowledge that > > clutter makes me nervous, and work in a non-dramatic way to avoid > > clutter in the house and in turn avoid eating to quell anxiety. How on > > earth did food get inserted into my cleaning routine, lol?? It seems > > almost silly to write about, but I literally have been struggling with > > this dynamic ever since I have lived away from my parents (I am 46). > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 7, 2008 Report Share Posted October 7, 2008 This is SO interesting to me. I have to wonder how many of us that struggle with food, also struggle with keeping our homes neat. I know I do (did). In the last little bit, IE has started to come easier for me. It's not completely natural yet, but it's getting there. The interesting thing, is that as I have begun to master IE, my home is becoming neater. I'm not sure how the two are interconnected yet, just that I can see they definitely are. Maybe it's because I'm realizing that I'm a different person than I had imagined myself to be all these years. Maybe it's because I'm finding I'm a lot stronger than I knew. Maybe it's because I'm finally casting off some old demons that have haunted me since my teens. I don't know. But this is awfully neat to see how many of us are working through the same " problems " and finding that IE is literally and figuratively cleaning up our lives! dawnz:) > > > > From: <knic402002@> > > Subject: Eating and Cleaning > > To: IntuitiveEating_Support > > Received: Monday, October 6, 2008, 9:14 AM > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Hi Everyone! > > > > The weekend before last I spent the entire weekend either eating or > > thinking about it. It was an awful weekend, partly because I was > > feeling anxiety. My house was a mess and it was making me anxious, > but > > instead of cleaning I wanted to eat. So the house stayed messy and > I > > ate. No progress made there! > > > > This past weekend, with awareness that clutter in my home causes > > anxiety, I decided that we were all going to clean. And we did. And > I > > had a much better food weekend, eating when I was hungry. I did eat > > without hunger last night, but not to a large extent. > > > > This is a perfect example of eating to deal with emotions. I see it > > very clearly now, and the good news is that I can change my > behavior. > > For the longest time I thought it was all about what and when I > ate, > > but really it isn't about food at all! I can now acknowledge that > > clutter makes me nervous, and work in a non-dramatic way to avoid > > clutter in the house and in turn avoid eating to quell anxiety. How > on > > earth did food get inserted into my cleaning routine, lol?? It > seems > > almost silly to write about, but I literally have been struggling > with > > this dynamic ever since I have lived away from my parents (I am 46). > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________________________ > > Instant Messaging, free SMS, sharing photos and more... Try the new > Yahoo! Canada Messenger at http://ca.beta.messenger.yahoo.com/ > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 7, 2008 Report Share Posted October 7, 2008 ksoccer: Yes, it is nice to have someone else understand what goes on in your head. It is difficult to overcome. I find myself getting lost in myself and feel as if I am on a treadmill and can't get off. Sometimes I just hate the weekends because of this. I think in a way I am like a child and need more structure. Since getting divorced I have struggled more with this, sometimes I feel I need someone to ground me. I can probably find what I need but I have to first come out of isolation. This past weekend after cleaning I invited my parents over for dinner and it was very nice. I wasn't worried about the state of the house, and I could relax and enjoy their company. They brought me out of myself. Thanks for writing back. You've given me more to think about... " The weekend before last I spent the entire > weekend either eating or thinking about it. It was an awful weekend, > partly because I was feeling anxiety. " --I can SOOO relate to this. > Sometimes it seems like my mind gets into an anxiety rut and it's hard > to get out of it. It's like I need something (some certain > interaction, some certain word of advice, some ceratain happening) that > will pick me up out of the anxiety rut, but it's hard for me to do it > on my own. I wish I knew how to end it myself, instead of feeling like > I have no control over when I " snap out of it " , so to speak. Thanks > for posting; it's nice to be able to relate to others. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 7, 2008 Report Share Posted October 7, 2008 Hi , I have a clutter problem too, mostly with paper and food. I have piles of old mail and magazines scattered all over the house. And my pantry is a mess and every inch of space on my kitchen counters is filled up. I have always had this problem, although it seems to have gotten worse over the years. I don't really understand it but I think it has to do with my perfectionism. If I don't have the time to tackle the WHOLE problem and put every single thing away in the right, exact perfect place, then I don't feel like tackling the problem at all. And naturally I know I will NEVER have the time (or desire) to do the job PERFECTLY so nothing ever gets done. Since I started eating intuitively and have learned not to do so much black and white thinking and I am learning how to allow myself to be human and accept that there will be days when I eat to cope with emotions or eat beyond fullness because something tastes really good or whatever, I notice I am starting to declutter, little by little. Of course, having the hospice folks here has also motivated me to keep the house more picked up. But I am seeing how spending 10 minutes here and 5 minutes there can make positive little changes and reduce my anxiety. I think I am beginning to let go of some of my perfectionism, which is a good thing. It is very paralyzing. I keep hoping someone will write a book about Intuitive Decluttering. I am sure there are many parallels and that we all have little gremlins in our heads, such as The Neatness Police. The more pressure I feel to do something, the more I rebel against it. The other day I made a new rule for myself, " One pile a day, " meaning I wanted to go through one stack of old papers each day. Well, as soon as I wrote that idea down on a piece of paper, I could just feel the resistance building in my body and I haven't gone near a pile since. Maybe Tribole and Resch will come out with a book to help us with this, too! :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 7, 2008 Report Share Posted October 7, 2008 hello all, I'm in IE since june, but busy, sometimes I can read, sometimes not at all, but I have to write today because as many of us, seems that clutter house and clutter bodies come together, I remember like 2 years ago, I was about to leave my beautiful home, great husband, and presious two teens, because I said to myselve, I can't do this, I hate cleaning, why in the world do I have to everyday do something that I hate to do so much, I'm out of here. then I found flylady.net and kind of follow her advice unhappily. I had hit rock bottom and that might, help. To make a long story short today I'm clutter free, happy cleaning the flylady way, amazed that I'm actually enjoying the prosess. She is the reazon I'm here, hoping that IE can help my other clutter problem, and it actually is. hope that helps, bye Subject: Re: Eating and CleaningTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Tuesday, October 7, 2008, 1:36 PM Hi ,I have a clutter problem too, mostly with paper and food. I have piles of old mail and magazines scattered all over the house. And my pantry is a mess and every inch of space on my kitchen counters is filled up. I have always had this problem, although it seems to have gotten worse over the years. I don't really understand it but I think it has to do with my perfectionism. If I don't have the time to tackle the WHOLE problem and put every single thing away in the right, exact perfect place, then I don't feel like tackling the problem at all. And naturally I know I will NEVER have the time (or desire) to do the job PERFECTLY so nothing ever gets done.Since I started eating intuitively and have learned not to do so much black and white thinking and I am learning how to allow myself to be human and accept that there will be days when I eat to cope with emotions or eat beyond fullness because something tastes really good or whatever, I notice I am starting to declutter, little by little. Of course, having the hospice folks here has also motivated me to keep the house more picked up. But I am seeing how spending 10 minutes here and 5 minutes there can make positive little changes and reduce my anxiety. I think I am beginning to let go of some of my perfectionism, which is a good thing. It is very paralyzing.I keep hoping someone will write a book about Intuitive Decluttering. I am sure there are many parallels and that we all have little gremlins in our heads, such as The Neatness Police. The more pressure I feel to do something, the more I rebel against it. The other day I made a new rule for myself, "One pile a day," meaning I wanted to go through one stack of old papers each day. Well, as soon as I wrote that idea down on a piece of paper, I could just feel the resistance building in my body and I haven't gone near a pile since.Maybe Tribole and Resch will come out with a book to help us with this, too! :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 7, 2008 Report Share Posted October 7, 2008 I am naturally a very organized person, and when I get stressed, the first thing I do is clean the house. It just makes everything else seem lighter for some reason. Then I make To Do lists, so even if it won't get done right away, it puts everything in perspective and keeps that overwhelmed, helpless feeling at bay... Of course, there have been times in my life where, due to stressfull situations, getting divorced etc. that I felt my house was just too much to handle and nothing seemed to help alleviate the overwhelmed feelings. Someone told me about this site, and it really helped me to get back on track and keep my life orderly. It's called www.FlyLady.net It's pretty intense, and I didn't do all of it, but it had some good tips so that even if my house doesn't look like a picture from House Beautiful, at least it's under some control. Check it out when you get a chance, it might help. The thing I still do from the FlyLady site is to take up large tasks for only 15 minutes per day. Set a timer and only do 15 minutes of whatever (cleaning out closets, rooms, stacks of whatever). You'd be surprised how much you get done in 15 minutes (especially if you get your kids to help! A 15 minute timer *really* helps kids also to not feel overwhelmed by tasks). Hope this helps a little bit! Meg IE since Feb '08 > > Hi , > I have a clutter problem too, mostly with paper and food. I have > piles of old mail and magazines scattered all over the house. And my > pantry is a mess and every inch of space on my kitchen counters is > filled up. I have always had this problem, although it seems to have > gotten worse over the years. > > I don't really understand it but I think it has to do with my > perfectionism. If I don't have the time to tackle the WHOLE problem > and put every single thing away in the right, exact perfect place, > then I don't feel like tackling the problem at all. And naturally I > know I will NEVER have the time (or desire) to do the job PERFECTLY > so nothing ever gets done. > > Since I started eating intuitively and have learned not to do so much > black and white thinking and I am learning how to allow myself to be > human and accept that there will be days when I eat to cope with > emotions or eat beyond fullness because something tastes really good > or whatever, I notice I am starting to declutter, little by little. > Of course, having the hospice folks here has also motivated me to > keep the house more picked up. But I am seeing how spending 10 > minutes here and 5 minutes there can make positive little changes and > reduce my anxiety. I think I am beginning to let go of some of my > perfectionism, which is a good thing. It is very paralyzing. > > I keep hoping someone will write a book about Intuitive Decluttering. > I am sure there are many parallels and that we all have little > gremlins in our heads, such as The Neatness Police. The more pressure > I feel to do something, the more I rebel against it. The other day I > made a new rule for myself, " One pile a day, " meaning I wanted to go > through one stack of old papers each day. Well, as soon as I wrote > that idea down on a piece of paper, I could just feel the resistance > building in my body and I haven't gone near a pile since. > > Maybe Tribole and Resch will come out with a book to help us with > this, too! :-) > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 7, 2008 Report Share Posted October 7, 2008 Hey Norma! Great minds must think alike! We posted about FlyLady at the same time! HA Meg IE SInce Feb '08 > > > Subject: Re: Eating and Cleaning > To: IntuitiveEating_Support > Date: Tuesday, October 7, 2008, 1:36 PM > > > > > > > Hi , > I have a clutter problem too, mostly with paper and food. I have > piles of old mail and magazines scattered all over the house. And my > pantry is a mess and every inch of space on my kitchen counters is > filled up. I have always had this problem, although it seems to have > gotten worse over the years. > > I don't really understand it but I think it has to do with my > perfectionism. If I don't have the time to tackle the WHOLE problem > and put every single thing away in the right, exact perfect place, > then I don't feel like tackling the problem at all. And naturally I > know I will NEVER have the time (or desire) to do the job PERFECTLY > so nothing ever gets done. > > Since I started eating intuitively and have learned not to do so much > black and white thinking and I am learning how to allow myself to be > human and accept that there will be days when I eat to cope with > emotions or eat beyond fullness because something tastes really good > or whatever, I notice I am starting to declutter, little by little. > Of course, having the hospice folks here has also motivated me to > keep the house more picked up. But I am seeing how spending 10 > minutes here and 5 minutes there can make positive little changes and > reduce my anxiety. I think I am beginning to let go of some of my > perfectionism, which is a good thing. It is very paralyzing. > > I keep hoping someone will write a book about Intuitive Decluttering. > I am sure there are many parallels and that we all have little > gremlins in our heads, such as The Neatness Police. The more pressure > I feel to do something, the more I rebel against it. The other day I > made a new rule for myself, " One pile a day, " meaning I wanted to go > through one stack of old papers each day. Well, as soon as I wrote > that idea down on a piece of paper, I could just feel the resistance > building in my body and I haven't gone near a pile since. > > Maybe Tribole and Resch will come out with a book to help us with > this, too! :-) > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 7, 2008 Report Share Posted October 7, 2008 I tried Flylady but it didn't work for me. It's like the Diet Rebel, I guess. The Cleaning Rebel in me just felt hassled by all of Flylady's suggestions and endless emails. Of course, that shouldn't surprise me. I even rebel at my OWN suggestions, like my " Sort through one pile a day " suggestion, which seemed fairly benign when I came up with it. > > > > Hi , > > I have a clutter problem too, mostly with paper and food. I have > > piles of old mail and magazines scattered all over the house. And > my > > pantry is a mess and every inch of space on my kitchen counters is > > filled up. I have always had this problem, although it seems to > have > > gotten worse over the years. > > > > I don't really understand it but I think it has to do with my > > perfectionism. If I don't have the time to tackle the WHOLE > problem > > and put every single thing away in the right, exact perfect place, > > then I don't feel like tackling the problem at all. And naturally > I > > know I will NEVER have the time (or desire) to do the job > PERFECTLY > > so nothing ever gets done. > > > > Since I started eating intuitively and have learned not to do so > much > > black and white thinking and I am learning how to allow myself to > be > > human and accept that there will be days when I eat to cope with > > emotions or eat beyond fullness because something tastes really > good > > or whatever, I notice I am starting to declutter, little by > little. > > Of course, having the hospice folks here has also motivated me to > > keep the house more picked up. But I am seeing how spending 10 > > minutes here and 5 minutes there can make positive little changes > and > > reduce my anxiety. I think I am beginning to let go of some of my > > perfectionism, which is a good thing. It is very paralyzing. > > > > I keep hoping someone will write a book about Intuitive > Decluttering. > > I am sure there are many parallels and that we all have little > > gremlins in our heads, such as The Neatness Police. The more > pressure > > I feel to do something, the more I rebel against it. The other day > I > > made a new rule for myself, " One pile a day, " meaning I wanted to > go > > through one stack of old papers each day. Well, as soon as I wrote > > that idea down on a piece of paper, I could just feel the > resistance > > building in my body and I haven't gone near a pile since. > > > > Maybe Tribole and Resch will come out with a book to help us with > > this, too! :-) > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 7, 2008 Report Share Posted October 7, 2008 I so know what you mean - My rebel triggers very easily too ;-) I, like Meg, am basically an organized person. BUT while my house doesn't look like someone picked it up and shook it nicely before setting it back down, I have to really muster the energy to do the dust, vac and mop routine. I swear I would much rather go to the dentist than clean house! But the saving grace for me now is that dear hubby is willing to help with these tasks (although I have to gag myself when he does a less than 'complete' job ;-). The real bug-a-boo for me is that I need to leave things that I want to do OUT in my sight or I don't remember to do them. Ever so often the little 'reminder piles' start to bug me big time and that's when I give a silent little SCREAM, roll up my sleeves and tackle these piles one at a time. So my cleaning is like my IE journey - ups and downs, detours and mad dashes too. And if the house isn't up to any one else's 'standards', I'm happy to point them to the broom closet!! Ehugs, Katcha IEing since March 2007 > > > > > > Hi , > > > I have a clutter problem too, mostly with paper and food. I have > > > piles of old mail and magazines scattered all over the house. And > > my > > > pantry is a mess and every inch of space on my kitchen counters > is > > > filled up. I have always had this problem, although it seems to > > have > > > gotten worse over the years. > > > > > > I don't really understand it but I think it has to do with my > > > perfectionism. If I don't have the time to tackle the WHOLE > > problem > > > and put every single thing away in the right, exact perfect > place, > > > then I don't feel like tackling the problem at all. And naturally > > I > > > know I will NEVER have the time (or desire) to do the job > > PERFECTLY > > > so nothing ever gets done. > > > > > > Since I started eating intuitively and have learned not to do so > > much > > > black and white thinking and I am learning how to allow myself to > > be > > > human and accept that there will be days when I eat to cope with > > > emotions or eat beyond fullness because something tastes really > > good > > > or whatever, I notice I am starting to declutter, little by > > little. > > > Of course, having the hospice folks here has also motivated me to > > > keep the house more picked up. But I am seeing how spending 10 > > > minutes here and 5 minutes there can make positive little changes > > and > > > reduce my anxiety. I think I am beginning to let go of some of my > > > perfectionism, which is a good thing. It is very paralyzing. > > > > > > I keep hoping someone will write a book about Intuitive > > Decluttering. > > > I am sure there are many parallels and that we all have little > > > gremlins in our heads, such as The Neatness Police. The more > > pressure > > > I feel to do something, the more I rebel against it. The other > day > > I > > > made a new rule for myself, " One pile a day, " meaning I wanted to > > go > > > through one stack of old papers each day. Well, as soon as I > wrote > > > that idea down on a piece of paper, I could just feel the > > resistance > > > building in my body and I haven't gone near a pile since. > > > > > > Maybe Tribole and Resch will come out with a book to help us with > > > this, too! :-) > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 8, 2008 Report Share Posted October 8, 2008 When I was reading the IE book I thought that so much of it could really be applied to other aspects of my life. It gives me hope to hear that your home has become neater. I have always had problems keeping things in a certain spot. My bedroom often looks like it was hit by some sort of natural disaster. I wonder why such a connection to the eating and neatness. Frenzied eating equals frenzied space and/or vice versa. Who knows, but I agree...it is very interesting. Dawn (without the z) [intuitiveEating_ Support] Eating and Cleaning> > To: IntuitiveEating_ Support@yahoogro ups.com> > Received: Monday, October 6, 2008, 9:14 AM> > > > > > > > > > > > > > Hi Everyone!> > > > The weekend before last I spent the entire weekend either eating or > > thinking about it. It was an awful weekend, partly because I was > > feeling anxiety. My house was a mess and it was making me anxious, > but > > instead of cleaning I wanted to eat. So the house stayed messy and > I > > ate. No progress made there!> > > > This past weekend, with awareness that clutter in my home causes > > anxiety, I decided that we were all going to clean. And we did. And > I > > had a much better food weekend, eating when I was hungry. I did eat > > without hunger last night, but not to a large extent. > > > > This is a perfect example of eating to deal with emotions. I see it > > very clearly now, and the good news is that I can change my > behavior. > > For the longest time I thought it was all about what and when I > ate, > > but really it isn't about food at all! I can now acknowledge that > > clutter makes me nervous, and work in a non-dramatic way to avoid > > clutter in the house and in turn avoid eating to quell anxiety. How > on > > earth did food get inserted into my cleaning routine, lol?? It > seems > > almost silly to write about, but I literally have been struggling > with > > this dynamic ever since I have lived away from my parents (I am 46).> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _> > Instant Messaging, free SMS, sharing photos and more... Try the new > Yahoo! Canada Messenger at http://ca.beta. messenger. yahoo.com/> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 8, 2008 Report Share Posted October 8, 2008 I'm right there with ya - Flylady has some good points, but mostly I felt harassed! I recently quit their yahoo group for the 2nd time. > > > > > > Hi , > > > I have a clutter problem too, mostly with paper and food. I have > > > piles of old mail and magazines scattered all over the house. And > > my > > > pantry is a mess and every inch of space on my kitchen counters > is > > > filled up. I have always had this problem, although it seems to > > have > > > gotten worse over the years. > > > > > > I don't really understand it but I think it has to do with my > > > perfectionism. If I don't have the time to tackle the WHOLE > > problem > > > and put every single thing away in the right, exact perfect > place, > > > then I don't feel like tackling the problem at all. And naturally > > I > > > know I will NEVER have the time (or desire) to do the job > > PERFECTLY > > > so nothing ever gets done. > > > > > > Since I started eating intuitively and have learned not to do so > > much > > > black and white thinking and I am learning how to allow myself to > > be > > > human and accept that there will be days when I eat to cope with > > > emotions or eat beyond fullness because something tastes really > > good > > > or whatever, I notice I am starting to declutter, little by > > little. > > > Of course, having the hospice folks here has also motivated me to > > > keep the house more picked up. But I am seeing how spending 10 > > > minutes here and 5 minutes there can make positive little changes > > and > > > reduce my anxiety. I think I am beginning to let go of some of my > > > perfectionism, which is a good thing. It is very paralyzing. > > > > > > I keep hoping someone will write a book about Intuitive > > Decluttering. > > > I am sure there are many parallels and that we all have little > > > gremlins in our heads, such as The Neatness Police. The more > > pressure > > > I feel to do something, the more I rebel against it. The other > day > > I > > > made a new rule for myself, " One pile a day, " meaning I wanted to > > go > > > through one stack of old papers each day. Well, as soon as I > wrote > > > that idea down on a piece of paper, I could just feel the > > resistance > > > building in my body and I haven't gone near a pile since. > > > > > > Maybe Tribole and Resch will come out with a book to help us with > > > this, too! :-) > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 8, 2008 Report Share Posted October 8, 2008 Sometimes I think chaos in our lives spills out in more areas than one-the house, the " diet " (as in what we eat not as in being on a diet), schedules, personal issues and the like...all of it is connected if we look deeply enough. I used to clean like a maniac when I was really upset. I understand now it was a way to be " in control " when I clearly was feeling " out of control. " My husband would walk in the door and say, " Holy sh*t! What happened? Are you OK?? " any time he came in and the house was immaculate. Now a days I have some clutter here and there, but nothing like it used to be. I also clean on a " semi schedule " (I tried the whole Flylady thing too at one time) and try to keep up with things. I have also noticed that I no longer have a need to buy " stuff " like I once did. I can actually slow down and ask myself if I really need or want something...kinda like IE...I am now intuitive buying! Dawn H Re: Re: Eating and Cleaning When I was reading the IE book I thought that so much of it could really be applied to other aspects of my life. It gives me hope to hear that your home has become neater. I have always had problems keeping things in a certain spot. My bedroom often looks like it was hit by some sort of natural disaster. I wonder why such a connection to the eating and neatness. Frenzied eating equals frenzied space and/or vice versa. Who knows, but I agree...it is very interesting. Dawn (without the z) > > When I was reading the IE book I thought that so much of it could really be applied to other aspects of my life. It gives me hope to hear that your home has become neater. I have always had problems keeping things in a certain spot. My bedroom often looks like it was hit by some sort of natural disaster. I wonder why such a connection to the eating and neatness. Frenzied eating equals frenzied space and/or vice versa. Who knows, but I agree...it is very interesting. > > Dawn (without the z) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 8, 2008 Report Share Posted October 8, 2008 Hi : I agree that this has to do with perfectionism. I am definitely a subscriber to the " if I can't do it all perfectly, why do it at all? " club! I've read some books on the subject. After looking at " Sink Reflections " I made a chore jar and wrote all the areas in the house on little slips of paper. The plan was to take a slip out each day and spend 15 minutes in that area. Of course I have not even once pulled a slip of paper out of that jar. Talk about resistance. -- In IntuitiveEating_Support , " " wrote: > > Hi , > I have a clutter problem too, mostly with paper and food. I have > piles of old mail and magazines scattered all over the house. And my > pantry is a mess and every inch of space on my kitchen counters is > filled up. I have always had this problem, although it seems to have > gotten worse over the years. > > I don't really understand it but I think it has to do with my > perfectionism. If I don't have the time to tackle the WHOLE problem > and put every single thing away in the right, exact perfect place, > then I don't feel like tackling the problem at all. And naturally I > know I will NEVER have the time (or desire) to do the job PERFECTLY > so nothing ever gets done. > > Since I started eating intuitively and have learned not to do so much > black and white thinking and I am learning how to allow myself to be > human and accept that there will be days when I eat to cope with > emotions or eat beyond fullness because something tastes really good > or whatever, I notice I am starting to declutter, little by little. > Of course, having the hospice folks here has also motivated me to > keep the house more picked up. But I am seeing how spending 10 > minutes here and 5 minutes there can make positive little changes and > reduce my anxiety. I think I am beginning to let go of some of my > perfectionism, which is a good thing. It is very paralyzing. > > I keep hoping someone will write a book about Intuitive Decluttering. > I am sure there are many parallels and that we all have little > gremlins in our heads, such as The Neatness Police. The more pressure > I feel to do something, the more I rebel against it. The other day I > made a new rule for myself, " One pile a day, " meaning I wanted to go > through one stack of old papers each day. Well, as soon as I wrote > that idea down on a piece of paper, I could just feel the resistance > building in my body and I haven't gone near a pile since. > > Maybe Tribole and Resch will come out with a book to help us with > this, too! :-) > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 8, 2008 Report Share Posted October 8, 2008 and , This is a very interesting conversation to me. I wonder why we do this because I do too. Unless I can do it perfectly, I don't even attempt it. What is that all about? FlyLady has been a bomb for me over and over, just like dieting. Maybe that's why IE is helping me in both areas? I think maybe some of it is realizing that doing something IS forward progress. I don't know. I can't quite make the connection yet, but I know that if I am honoring my hunger, for some reason I also seem to be more calm about my clutter. I don't know.... dawnz > > > > Hi , > > I have a clutter problem too, mostly with paper and food. I have > > piles of old mail and magazines scattered all over the house. And > my > > pantry is a mess and every inch of space on my kitchen counters is > > filled up. I have always had this problem, although it seems to > have > > gotten worse over the years. > > > > I don't really understand it but I think it has to do with my > > perfectionism. If I don't have the time to tackle the WHOLE problem > > and put every single thing away in the right, exact perfect place, > > then I don't feel like tackling the problem at all. And naturally I > > know I will NEVER have the time (or desire) to do the job PERFECTLY > > so nothing ever gets done. > > > > Since I started eating intuitively and have learned not to do so > much > > black and white thinking and I am learning how to allow myself to > be > > human and accept that there will be days when I eat to cope with > > emotions or eat beyond fullness because something tastes really > good > > or whatever, I notice I am starting to declutter, little by little. > > Of course, having the hospice folks here has also motivated me to > > keep the house more picked up. But I am seeing how spending 10 > > minutes here and 5 minutes there can make positive little changes > and > > reduce my anxiety. I think I am beginning to let go of some of my > > perfectionism, which is a good thing. It is very paralyzing. > > > > I keep hoping someone will write a book about Intuitive > Decluttering. > > I am sure there are many parallels and that we all have little > > gremlins in our heads, such as The Neatness Police. The more > pressure > > I feel to do something, the more I rebel against it. The other day > I > > made a new rule for myself, " One pile a day, " meaning I wanted to > go > > through one stack of old papers each day. Well, as soon as I wrote > > that idea down on a piece of paper, I could just feel the > resistance > > building in my body and I haven't gone near a pile since. > > > > Maybe Tribole and Resch will come out with a book to help us with > > this, too! :-) > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 9, 2008 Report Share Posted October 9, 2008 Hi Dawn, Yes, my clutter problem remains a mystery to me. I have noticed there are many parallels with my clutter problem and my history of dieting. Just as I always bought every diet book that came along and was lucky to last a week or two on the diet, I have bought countless " how to " books on decluttering and getting organized. Unlike the diet books, however, I have never even bothered to read most of the " getting organized " books! I loved what said about the technique of putting all those little pieces of scrap paper with chores on them in a bowl and drawing one each day. I thought, " Hey, that sounds like a cool system. Wonder if that would work for me? " Then went on to say she had yet to pull one slip of paper out of the bowl. That made me chuckle. I said to myself, " Ah, I see my future before me. just saved me the trouble of making out all those little slips of paper and writing chores on them. " LOL. Another parallel I see with my clutter and disordered eating is the way that neatness is portrayed on television, movies, magazines, etc. If we were to base our thinking on what we see there, we would believe that everyone's house but ours is completely spotless and organized and there is not a dirty dish or a scrap of paper in sight. I SERIOUSLY doubt this is the case. I think that just reinforces my perfectionism disease and black and white thinking. " If I can't make my house look like that, why even bother trying? " And in our defense, 40 years ago when I was growing up, my parents were lucky to get one or two pieces of mail a day. They did not have to contend with all the junk mail we get bombarded with on a daily basis. And there were no computers back then so we actually had time to read the magazines that came to the house. It is a different ballgame nowadays. (God, I sound old.) I didn't ask for all this @#$*!!! junk mail. Why should I have to spend MY precious free time dealing with it? Like you, Dawn, I do notice since I started Intuitive Eating and learning how to accept myself, or at least stop loathing myself, that I have been doing little bits of decluttering here and there. And I am no longer having to stock up my pantry with all the speciality foods for whatever " diet du jour " I happen to be on, so that is helping to cut down on the food clutter. It will be interesting to see where this journey takes us! > > > > > > Hi , > > > I have a clutter problem too, mostly with paper and food. I have > > > piles of old mail and magazines scattered all over the house. And > > my > > > pantry is a mess and every inch of space on my kitchen counters is > > > filled up. I have always had this problem, although it seems to > > have > > > gotten worse over the years. > > > > > > I don't really understand it but I think it has to do with my > > > perfectionism. If I don't have the time to tackle the WHOLE problem > > > and put every single thing away in the right, exact perfect place, > > > then I don't feel like tackling the problem at all. And naturally I > > > know I will NEVER have the time (or desire) to do the job PERFECTLY > > > so nothing ever gets done. > > > > > > Since I started eating intuitively and have learned not to do so > > much > > > black and white thinking and I am learning how to allow myself to > > be > > > human and accept that there will be days when I eat to cope with > > > emotions or eat beyond fullness because something tastes really > > good > > > or whatever, I notice I am starting to declutter, little by little. > > > Of course, having the hospice folks here has also motivated me to > > > keep the house more picked up. But I am seeing how spending 10 > > > minutes here and 5 minutes there can make positive little changes > > and > > > reduce my anxiety. I think I am beginning to let go of some of my > > > perfectionism, which is a good thing. It is very paralyzing. > > > > > > I keep hoping someone will write a book about Intuitive > > Decluttering. > > > I am sure there are many parallels and that we all have little > > > gremlins in our heads, such as The Neatness Police. The more > > pressure > > > I feel to do something, the more I rebel against it. The other day > > I > > > made a new rule for myself, " One pile a day, " meaning I wanted to > > go > > > through one stack of old papers each day. Well, as soon as I wrote > > > that idea down on a piece of paper, I could just feel the > > resistance > > > building in my body and I haven't gone near a pile since. > > > > > > Maybe Tribole and Resch will come out with a book to help us with > > > this, too! :-) > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 9, 2008 Report Share Posted October 9, 2008 Hi all, I thought I'd chime in on this set of emails. I see a connection between eating and cleaning, too. When I used to binge fairly regularly, I usually followed it up with hours of cleaning. I was trying to quell anxiety and anger. I would eat and eat and eat, then clean compulsively for the night. As I've let go of compulsive binge eating, I find myself still occasionally cleaning compulsively. I think the cleaning helps me deal with anxiety! I mean, I do the normal day to day stuff - dishes, wiping down counters, sweeping. When I'm anxious or upset, I start scrubbing cabinets, re-arranging the closets, washing walls (no lie) = stuff like that. I figure that as I learn to cope with my feelings, the binging will completely stop (I have binged so much less frequently already), and the compulsive cleaning will become less, too. I guess the cleaning is not such an awful coping skill! I could choose worse things to do! LOL Kim IE since Aug 08 Subject: Re: Eating and CleaningTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Thursday, October 9, 2008, 3:21 AM Hi Dawn,Yes, my clutter problem remains a mystery to me. I have noticed there are many parallels with my clutter problem and my history of dieting. Just as I always bought every diet book that came along and was lucky to last a week or two on the diet, I have bought countless "how to" books on decluttering and getting organized. Unlike the diet books, however, I have never even bothered to read most of the "getting organized" books! I loved what said about the technique of putting all those little pieces of scrap paper with chores on them in a bowl and drawing one each day. I thought, "Hey, that sounds like a cool system. Wonder if that would work for me?" Then went on to say she had yet to pull one slip of paper out of the bowl. That made me chuckle. I said to myself, "Ah, I see my future before me. just saved me the trouble of making out all those little slips of paper and writing chores on them." LOL.Another parallel I see with my clutter and disordered eating is the way that neatness is portrayed on television, movies, magazines, etc. If we were to base our thinking on what we see there, we would believe that everyone's house but ours is completely spotless and organized and there is not a dirty dish or a scrap of paper in sight. I SERIOUSLY doubt this is the case. I think that just reinforces my perfectionism disease and black and white thinking. "If I can't make my house look like that, why even bother trying?" And in our defense, 40 years ago when I was growing up, my parents were lucky to get one or two pieces of mail a day. They did not have to contend with all the junk mail we get bombarded with on a daily basis. And there were no computers back then so we actually had time to read the magazines that came to the house. It is a different ballgame nowadays. (God, I sound old.) I didn't ask for all this @#$*!!! junk mail. Why should I have to spend MY precious free time dealing with it? Like you, Dawn, I do notice since I started Intuitive Eating and learning how to accept myself, or at least stop loathing myself, that I have been doing little bits of decluttering here and there. And I am no longer having to stock up my pantry with all the speciality foods for whatever "diet du jour" I happen to be on, so that is helping to cut down on the food clutter. It will be interesting to see where this journey takes us!> > >> > > Hi ,> > > I have a clutter problem too, mostly with paper and food. I have > > > piles of old mail and magazines scattered all over the house. And > > my > > > pantry is a mess and every inch of space on my kitchen counters is > > > filled up. I have always had this problem, although it seems to > > have > > > gotten worse over the years. > > > > > > I don't really understand it but I think it has to do with my > > > perfectionism. If I don't have the time to tackle the WHOLE problem > > > and put every single thing away in the right, exact perfect place, > > > then I don't feel like tackling the problem at all. And naturally I > > > know I will NEVER have the time (or desire) to do the job PERFECTLY > > > so nothing ever gets done.> > > > > > Since I started eating intuitively and have learned not to do so > > much > > > black and white thinking and I am learning how to allow myself to > > be > > > human and accept that there will be days when I eat to cope with > > > emotions or eat beyond fullness because something tastes really > > good > > > or whatever, I notice I am starting to declutter, little by little. > > > Of course, having the hospice folks here has also motivated me to > > > keep the house more picked up. But I am seeing how spending 10 > > > minutes here and 5 minutes there can make positive little changes > > and > > > reduce my anxiety. I think I am beginning to let go of some of my > > > perfectionism, which is a good thing. It is very paralyzing.> > > > > > I keep hoping someone will write a book about Intuitive > > Decluttering. > > > I am sure there are many parallels and that we all have little > > > gremlins in our heads, such as The Neatness Police. The more > > pressure > > > I feel to do something, the more I rebel against it. The other day > > I > > > made a new rule for myself, "One pile a day," meaning I wanted to > > go > > > through one stack of old papers each day. Well, as soon as I wrote > > > that idea down on a piece of paper, I could just feel the > > resistance > > > building in my body and I haven't gone near a pile since.> > > > > > Maybe Tribole and Resch will come out with a book to help us with > > > this, too! :-)> > > > > > > > >> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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