Some random thoughts...

[Guest guest]

I've been very much struggling with listening for my hunger lately. I

can't exactly place my finger on why, but while I was getting dressed

this morning, I had some random thoughts and I'd like to have you

guys' feedback on them.

Even though I am eating everything with abandon, I am thinking now

that I truly haven't legalized all foods. Instead I realized this

morning, that in some way I must still be treating IE as a diet. When

I was failing on Weight Watchers, each time it was because I didn't

want to " waste " my points on " healthy " foods, so I would use them on

" crap " . That set up a pattern in which I would go into a binge,

thinking I was never going to get " enough " of the " bad " foods.

I think I'm doing something similar with IE. I'm not wanting to

" waste " my hunger on " good " foods, so I initially loaded up on " bad "

foods which has sent me into a tailspin of binging. Rebelling maybe

against " good " foods in my own head? Any thoughts on this? Has anyone

noticed and gotten through something similar?

Also, I think I've fallen into the trap of thinking that food is the

only pleasure in life. This is one I'm actively battling against

because I can see exactly what has happened to my thinking over the

last 25 years. I'm working very hard to recognize pleasure in other

things in life, so that I have something to enjoy besides food. It's

very much a struggle, but I am adding more items to my list each day.

Yesterday I went for a long walk and realized I get the same " numbing "

need filled by just being outside, alone, and walking. I had walked

from point A to point B without ever really remembering it. So if I

get the same catharsis from walking as I do from eating, why do I

consistently choose eating? Habit? Do you think that maybe we might

value food as our ONLY pleasure instead of seeing it as one of MANY

pleasures?

I'd love your thoughts on this...

dawnz