Re: Loving the group...needing advice!

[Guest guest]

I don't know if this applies to your situation, but the best advice I

ever got was " Have a sit-down snack at 4PM " . We made it simple and

fun, like pineapple speared with fancy toothpicks or peanut butter

and graham crackers or strawberries dipped in Cool Whip.

It helped everyone - Mama was less cranky and the kids got something

to tide them over (and a little time with a calm Mama) before I made

dinner. It made all the difference in the world.

Hope this helps!

>

> Hi all. I am new to the group, and I'm currently working my way

> through the IE book. It is really hitting home for me. I think I

> managed to be a pretty intuitive eater up until I got my first job

> and started bingeing at night to cope with the stress. Thus began

> my foray into dieting off and on. I'm at a healthy weight/BMI for

> my height, thanks to exercise and well...dieting. But I had an

> epiphany not too long ago. All of that time that I was an

intuitive

> eater and not worried one bit about food, I was a size 8. Just

> fine, right? Well, when I began stress-eating, I got up to a 14.

> So after losing that weight (down to a 6), via Weight Watchers, of

> course all kinds of people came out of the woodwork saying, " Oh you

> look so great! " However, it occured to me the other day that

> maintaining that 6 just didn't feel natural! And while people said

> I looked great, I thought I looked great as an 8. That's about the

> same time that I stumbled onto an article in my Health magazine

> about IE. It made so much sense. Plus, I have twin 3 year-old

> girls who we had deemed " picky, " when they're really just

> intuitive! I was deemed " picky " as a child/teenager as well,

> because I almost never cleaned my plate and tended to graze rather

> than eat big meals. I was intuitive and it was serving me well!

> So there's a long-winded explanation of why I'm here!

>

> On to why I need advice... I mentioned those twins earlier. Well, I

> do a dandy job of eating intuitively throughout the day, but I

> really lose sight of it after I've come home. And I can pretty

much

> tie the zombie eating/mindless eating/stuffing in random handfuls

to

> when they're getting especially whiny or screamy with each other.

> I'd love to hear any other moms of young children (or anyone else!)

> chime in on strategies they've found useful for nipping this. I've

> been trying to really stop and think and ask myself if I'm hungry,

> and I do recognize that this is WHY...and I know that's big step,

> but I would love any input or insights that you may have. =)

>

[Guest guest]

Oh, I can so TOTALLY relate to what you are saying!! I have twin boys who will be 4 on Sunday, as well as a 6 year old son and almost-13 year old daughter. I can handle any two of them, but add another to the mix and I just about want to explode with the nerve-grating effect of the noise LOL. Even when having fun, they tend to get loud, but after I've gotten up at 5:30-6am, worked until 3, then spent the rest of the afternoon with them - by 6pm when we are all getting tired, the boys get whiny or play too hard and start banging each other around ... or even when they ALL just want to " help " with dinner and start bickering over who gets to stir the sauce or crack the eggs ... GAHHHHHH. One of these days my children will go a full day without hearing their mother speak to them through gritted teeth!!!

So. I know where you're coming from, and share your pain I've only (re-) started IE this week so I don't have all the answers, and in the past my main coping mechanism has been to pour a drink the minute my husband pulls up the driveway LOL. ABout the eating though, I generally have a substantial " snack " as soon as I get home from work - since I get to work at 7, I have lunch around 11 most days, so by 3 I need something - in my diet days it was either something " good " (like a can of tuna with a little relish and Miracle Whip light mixed in, or celery with peanut butter, etc), or something " bad " (like a salami sandwich) depending how stressed out I was. Now I'm trying to broaden my horizons on the afternoon MEAL, as I recognize that 4 meals 3-4 hours apart is a very natural spacing

sorry, I'm rambling, but my point is that if I have a " real feeding " before I get caught up in the laundry, the homework, the trips to the park, or whatever is on tap for the afternoon, I don't end up TOO HUNGRY just as everyone gets grumpy.

Another strategy I use that doesn't involve eating per se (but reduces my stress, and stress is a big eating trigger for me), is that I've started setting up some boundaries in the house - for instance, when I tell them that the living room is the " quiet zone " , they know that boisterous play has to move upstairs or outside. (and I think they " get it " that once I call Quiet Zone, grumpy Mom will soon start hollering if they don't comply . If they play too rough and start hurting each other (they love to wrestle), I make them " take a break from that game " . If they fight over a toy or an activity like helping me get dinner ready, NEITHER of them get it. It's amazing how fast they learn to take turns when I take their toys away for fighting :) I'm naturally a pretty quiet person so the natural noise level of 4 kids/3 little boys can drive me nuts even when they are all happy - so I MUST do this! And keeping the noise/whine level down keeps me from diving into a bag of chips (or whatever). Oh yeah, and I " can't understand " whiny talk - until they pull themselves together to make a polite request in a normal voice, I don't know what they are saying

It's an issue I'm still working on, and I'd love to keep in touch with you about the IE strategies we discover to help with this!!

hugs

Mikki

..

[Guest guest]

Oh, and I meant to add - I grew up with a father that was very verbally abusive, calling me names, calling me stupid for doing normal kid stuff, never expecting me to be able to do anything right or make something of myself, who had fun making me cry. So maybe I'm hypersensitive to USING any hurtful words, but when I'm under stress (and whiny 2 or 3 year old twins definitely counts as " under stress! " LOL) some of them are right there in my head!!! And I'm realizing that sometimes I stuff my mouth with food so that those phrases he taught me can't get past the food and trickle out....

I'm still working on that one - but usually it helps enormously if I can impose some quiet (using the tricks above, telling them to go work out some energy outside, or if it's really bad I send them to different rooms for a few minutes until we all calm down).

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I have a 4 years old son and I am pregnant with my second child, first trimester. Yes it is awfully hard to take care of yourself with young children. I used to open a beer and a bag of chips and let the chaos be around me when my son was 2 and a half and had tantrums. I would totally zone out and just let go of everything. I had learned to step out and go potter in my garden instead, leaving it to my husband for a while. Or to put my son in time-out in his room or park and step out of his view and try some deep breathing. I always make sure that I have an hour to myself a day to resource, sometimes this mean I have to go to bed later or get up early. Writing my journal helps. Things will get better when they get older usually. It is much more calmer now here.

My heart goes to you, it must be hard to raise twins...

Take care,

Nat

Subject: Loving the group...needing advice!To: IntuitiveEating_Support Received: Wednesday, October 15, 2008, 6:11 PM

Hi all. I am new to the group, and I'm currently working my way through the IE book. It is really hitting home for me. I think I managed to be a pretty intuitive eater up until I got my first job and started bingeing at night to cope with the stress. Thus began my foray into dieting off and on. I'm at a healthy weight/BMI for my height, thanks to exercise and well...dieting. But I had an epiphany not too long ago. All of that time that I was an intuitive eater and not worried one bit about food, I was a size 8. Just fine, right? Well, when I began stress-eating, I got up to a 14. So after losing that weight (down to a 6), via Weight Watchers, of course all kinds of people came out of the woodwork saying, "Oh you look so great!" However, it occured to me the other day that maintaining that 6 just didn't feel natural! And while people said I looked great, I thought I looked great as an 8. That's

about the same time that I stumbled onto an article in my Health magazine about IE. It made so much sense. Plus, I have twin 3 year-old girls who we had deemed "picky," when they're really just intuitive! I was deemed "picky" as a child/teenager as well, because I almost never cleaned my plate and tended to graze rather than eat big meals. I was intuitive and it was serving me well!So there's a long-winded explanation of why I'm here! On to why I need advice... I mentioned those twins earlier. Well, I do a dandy job of eating intuitively throughout the day, but I really lose sight of it after I've come home. And I can pretty much tie the zombie eating/mindless eating/stuffing in random handfuls to when they're getting especially whiny or screamy with each other. I'd love to hear any other moms of young children (or anyone else!) chime in on strategies they've found useful for nipping this. I've

been trying to really stop and think and ask myself if I'm hungry, and I do recognize that this is WHY...and I know that's big step, but I would love any input or insights that you may have. =)

All new Yahoo! Mail - Get a sneak peak at messages with a handy reading pane.

[Guest guest]

I think that's exactly why I stuff food in mouth, because I'm afraid I'm going to yell and say hurtful things. Wow, Martha! I think that was just a huge realization for me! Maybe I can drink some yummy tea everytime I think I'm going to yell!

Our blog

Subject: Re: Loving the group...needing advice!To: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Thursday, October 16, 2008, 7:08 AM

Oh, and I meant to add - I grew up with a father that was very verbally abusive, calling me names, calling me stupid for doing normal kid stuff, never expecting me to be able to do anything right or make something of myself, who had fun making me cry. So maybe I'm hypersensitive to USING any hurtful words, but when I'm under stress (and whiny 2 or 3 year old twins definitely counts as "under stress!" LOL) some of them are right there in my head!!! And I'm realizing that sometimes I stuff my mouth with food so that those phrases he taught me can't get past the food and trickle out....

I'm still working on that one - but usually it helps enormously if I can impose some quiet (using the tricks above, telling them to go work out some energy outside, or if it's really bad I send them to different rooms for a few minutes until we all calm down).

[Guest guest]

And thank you to all who chimed in! Good stuff. =)

Our blog

Subject: Re: Loving the group...needing advice!To: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Thursday, October 16, 2008, 7:08 AM

Oh, and I meant to add - I grew up with a father that was very verbally abusive, calling me names, calling me stupid for doing normal kid stuff, never expecting me to be able to do anything right or make something of myself, who had fun making me cry. So maybe I'm hypersensitive to USING any hurtful words, but when I'm under stress (and whiny 2 or 3 year old twins definitely counts as "under stress!" LOL) some of them are right there in my head!!! And I'm realizing that sometimes I stuff my mouth with food so that those phrases he taught me can't get past the food and trickle out....

I'm still working on that one - but usually it helps enormously if I can impose some quiet (using the tricks above, telling them to go work out some energy outside, or if it's really bad I send them to different rooms for a few minutes until we all calm down).

[Guest guest]

Martha,

I think you may be on to something very important in your own life.

Good for you.

dawnz

>

> Oh, and I meant to add - I grew up with a father that was very verbally

> abusive, calling me names, calling me stupid for doing normal kid stuff,

> never expecting me to be able to do anything right or make something of

> myself, who had fun making me cry. So maybe I'm hypersensitive to

USING any

> hurtful words, but when I'm under stress (and whiny 2 or 3 year old

twins

> definitely counts as " under stress! " LOL) some of them are right

there in

> my head!!! And I'm realizing that sometimes I stuff my mouth with food

> so that those phrases he taught me can't get past the food and trickle

> out....

>

> I'm still working on that one - but usually it helps enormously if I can

> impose some quiet (using the tricks above, telling them to go work

out some

> energy outside, or if it's really bad I send them to different rooms

for a

> few minutes until we all calm down).

>

[Guest guest]

Yeah, anger management by binging = bad idea.

Thanks Sally for bringing this up because this is the first time I realized what I was going!!!!!

Martha,I think you may be on to something very important in your own life.Good for you. dawnz>> Oh, and I meant to add - I grew up with a father that was very verbally> abusive, calling me names, calling me stupid for doing normal kid stuff,

> never expecting me to be able to do anything right or make something of> myself, who had fun making me cry. So maybe I'm hypersensitive toUSING any> hurtful words, but when I'm under stress (and whiny 2 or 3 year old

twins> definitely counts as " under stress! " LOL) some of them are rightthere in> my head!!! And I'm realizing that sometimes I stuff my mouth with food> so that those phrases he taught me can't get past the food and trickle

> out....> > I'm still working on that one - but usually it helps enormously if I can> impose some quiet (using the tricks above, telling them to go workout some> energy outside, or if it's really bad I send them to different rooms

for a> few minutes until we all calm down).>

[Guest guest]

Hi Mikki,

I don't have kids yet (but they're probably in my future ), but I

loved reading your last post about tips for getting kids to quiet

down or cooperate. It was hilarious! I was laughing out loud! I

love how you " can't understand " whiny talk LOL. I've got some good

tips now!!

Oh yeah, and I " can't understand " whiny talk - until they pull

themselves together to make a polite request in a normal voice, I

don't know what they are saying It's an issue I'm still working

on, and I'd love to keep in touch with you about the IE strategies we

discover to help with this!!

> hugs

> Mikki