Re: Eat and Eat and Eat...

[Guest guest]

Martha Behnke wrote:

> you mentioned studying ... maybe the urge to eat is your subconscious way

> to procrastinate on studying when you think you " should " be studying (I

> definitely understand that, I'm kind of a perpetual grad student!). also

> just the stress of wondering how you are doing...

I think this might be a factor. I also consider the " rewarding factor " a

big thing.

Food seems so much more attractive as a reward right now than a walk out

in the cold, dark and rainy evening...

Food is quick, it tastes good, it doesn't take much time, it doesn't fog

up your head like alcohol (though that's kind of nice sometimes), it's

legal and cheap.

The only bug is that it makes me FATTER.

Lets be honest: if it wouldn't be for being fat I wouldn't give a damn

about using food as a drug. I don't care if I have to " rely on a

crutch " . Disturbing thoughts. I'm tired of fighting mouth hunger. I want

something sweet right now. I fight the urge. But I'm so tired of it.

Regards

s.

[Guest guest]

>Lets be honest: if it wouldn't be for being fat I wouldn't give a damn>about using food as a drug.

this statement reminds me of a section of the lecture CD that Gillian sent me - by the authors of the Un-Diet book.

Basically: close your eyes and imagine that a giant cloud of gas has been released and is spreading all over the united states. as soon as you take one breath of this drug, you will NEVER be able to either gain or lose weight ever again - no matter what you eat.

then think about how that statement made you feel. relieved? horrified? like running ahead of the edge of the cloud so you could lose 20 lbs before taking the last breath to freedom? (that's me, LOL)

I've only been doing this for a few weeks, but it really is starting to " work " - not that I've lost weight, but that now that I know that I can go have something ANY TIME I WANT IT (subject to the laws of economics and physics , it is really soooo much easier to ONLY have it if I want it. When I constantly have to ask myself " what would be really delicious right now? " INSTEAD OF " what am I allowed to have right now, and how much will fit into my diet budget? " ... I'm starting to find that I actually DON'T want some of the things that I used to binge on. Once it's not forbidden and an act of rebellion to eat it, it's just not that good. Did you know that salami actually tastes like library paste? LOL.

so maybe a more productive approach for you right now would be to focus on just one thing - on what will taste really delicious right at this moment. In fact, go walk through the grocery store and look at all the foods, pretend you are " kid in a candy store " (you are!!) and KNOW that you can have any of it, then choose a couple of things that really, really look great. You may be surprised at what your body tells you, I know I sure was!!

Hope this helps, I'm no expert but sometimes the best way to deal with being too tired to fight something is just to stop fighting

hugs

Mikki

[Guest guest]

Martha Behnke wrote:

> then think about how that statement made you feel. relieved? horrified?

I did that exercise back when I read one of the IE books (can't remember

which it was) and I felt quite horrified. Being fat also means having to

suffer from the physical problems that come with it.[1] If there

wouldn't be diabetes, arthrosis, joint paint and muscle ache and

being-out-of-breath too early, maybe I would have been relieved. I don't

know though.

> I've only been doing this for a few weeks, but it really is starting to

> " work " - not that I've lost weight, but that now that I know that I can go

> have something ANY TIME I WANT IT (subject to the laws of economics and

> physics , it is really soooo much easier to ONLY have it if I want it.

> When I constantly have to ask myself " what would be really delicious right

> now? " INSTEAD OF " what am I allowed to have right now, and how much will fit

> into my diet budget? " ... I'm starting to find that I actually DON'T want

> some of the things that I used to binge on. Once it's not forbidden and an

> act of rebellion to eat it, it's just not that good.

Exactly what I felt during the first months. It was great.

Regards

s.

[1] Yes, yes... " Health at every size " , I know. But I also know how I

felt when I was at a normal weight.

[Guest guest]

Martha-

I totally agree with you about walking around in the grocery story and being

surprised at

you actually want. I did this last night, and I passed aisle after aisle of

things I used to love

to binge on when they were forbidden: cookies, chips, frozen foods, breads.

Yesterday, I

literally did laps around the grocery store and I was shocked that I didn't want

what I

usually got. I wound up getting some salad, roast beef and one garlic roll.

Weird, but

satisfying!

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