truer words were never spoken

[Guest guest]

Had to share this with you all........

19 THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME 50 YEARS TO LEARN by DAVE BARRY

1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the

same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has

not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word

would

be " meetings " .

3. There is a very fine line between " hobby " and " mental illness. "

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never

want you to share yours with them.

5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories,

decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His

messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.

6. You should not confuse your career with your life.

7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too

seriously.

8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual

who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often,

that

individual is crazy.

9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

10. Never lick a steak knife.

11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.

12. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling

reason why we observe daylight savings time.

14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests

that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby

emerging

from her at that moment.

15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to

make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.

16. " The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender,

religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down

inside,

we ALL believe that WE are above average drivers.

17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy

people who are not in them.

18. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice

person.

19. Your friends love you, anyway.

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Sue in Las Vegas

Surgery 10/26/98

From 500 lbs to 181!

My goal is nearly reality )

http://suebee420.homestead.com/Suebee2.html

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