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I think that was part of the problem. On her wedding day, I felt really good and thought I looked good too. I loved my hairdo and shoes and I thought I looked good in my dress. I knew I didn't look like Heidi Klum but I thought I looked good for me. But to see those pictures, I realized how different I really looked from how I felt I looked.

I talked to my sister about it. I said how I was sorry I ruined her pictures because I was so fat in them. She got really mad at me and said I didn't ruin her pictures and that I looked great that day. I just don't see it myself. And I don't know if I ever will think I look great no matter how much work I do in IE and body image.

Kipkabob

(Intuitive eating since September 2006)

Subject: Re: looking at picturesTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Received: Saturday, October 25, 2008, 10:54 AM

Kip, I can totally identify with what you wrote. I too find the 'real me'(pictures/reflectio ns) shocking and not what I want to see. I have IEin my head and most eating practices, but somehow those aren't beingeffective with this body of mine. I also find that the first/immediateresponse is to think in terms of what I now need to do regardingeating, but what I am finding is that I really need to find and focuson what MY needs are. This is the most difficult part of IE for me,opening those closed doors into the me I don't see (for myself). Forme that's the real 'wait' barrier that I must bust thru before my bodyand live at peace with me.KatchaIEing since March 2007>> Last night I finally got to

see some of the pictures from mysister's wedding last month (I was the maid of honour). Well, I wasnot impressed with what I saw. I thought my dress looked awful and Ididn't realize how big I have gotten again. I looked like a giantaqua coloured blob. You could actually see rolls of flab through mydress. All the while we were looking at the pictures I was thinkingin my head.."oh my God...you looked awful... you are so fatagain...you have to go on a diet...you have to go back to weightwatchers." > > I've calmed down though since then. But I'm still kinda disgustedby how big I have let myself get again. I need to really startpractising IE. I know what I am supposed to do but I just don't doit. If I feel like eating, I eat whether or not I am hungry. I haveto be careful not to make this into a diet though...I just

need tofocus in on the IE principles more. > > Kipkabob> (Intuitive eating since September 2006)

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That is a 'controversial' post! I must admit that I reacted rather

negatively to it myself. I have lived in a 'warrior's' suit - battling

for everything I 'have'. And while that is proud making for me in many

ways, I am also NOT happy to hear that I must forever continue to

STRUGGLE with my own self! I like the idea that when I'm 'at home'

(being myself), I can strip off this tin lizzie suit and relax a bit.

Must I battle the dragon by bringing it INto my home?!? Doesn't sound

wonderful or inspiring to me!

Yet my latest mantra is - IE ain't for sissies!! I prefer 's

liking our efforts to 'build emotional muscle' - for which I see my

efforts directed towards a PROCESS - starting with hard work and

effort, but eventually re-habit-izing my life along better functioning

eating patterns. If all I have to look forward to is struggle struggle

struggle, WHY do it at all? Yes that is black and white thinking on my

part, but it also sounds like black and white 'rules' on 's part

too. (Actually I can almost hear her frustration with wannabes in this

post).

Katcha

(struggling with?!?) IE since March 2007

>>

> I found this controversial post by Koenig on struggling with

> non-hungry eating urges very thought-provoking. Can you relate to the

> ideas in the last para at all?

>

> http://www.eatingdisordersblogs.com/healthy/2008/09/struggle-

> harder.html

>

> Good luck

> Hugs

> Sig

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For some reason, this makes me wonder how chips dipped *IN* Nutella

would taste! PMS anyone? :)

> >> > >

> >> > > Last night I finally got to see some of the pictures from my

> >> > sister's wedding last month (I was the maid of honour). Well,

I

> >> was

> >> > not impressed with what I saw. I thought my dress looked awful

> >> and I

> >> > didn't realize how big I have gotten again. I looked like a

giant

> >> > aqua coloured blob. You could actually see rolls of flab

through

> >> my

> >> > dress. All the while we were looking at the pictures I was

> >> thinking

> >> > in my head.. " oh my God...you looked awful... you are so fat

> >> > again...you have to go on a diet...you have to go back to

weight

> >> > watchers. "

> >> > >

> >> > > I've calmed down though since then. But I'm still kinda

> >> disgusted

> >> > by how big I have let myself get again. I need to really start

> >> > practising IE. I know what I am supposed to do but I just

don't

> >> do

> >> > it. If I feel like eating, I eat whether or not I am hungry.

I

> >> have

> >> > to be careful not to make this into a diet though...I just

need to

> >> > focus in on the IE principles more.

> >> > >

> >> > > Kipkabob

> >> > > (Intuitive eating since September 2006)

> >> > >

> >> >

> >> >

> >> >

> >> >

> >> >

> >> >

> >> >

> >> >

> >> >

> >> >

> >> >

> >> >

> >> >

> >> >

> >> >

> >> >

> >> >

> >> ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

> >> > Ask a question on any topic and get answers from real people.

Go

> >> to Yahoo! Answers and share what you know at

> >> http://ca.answers. yahoo.com <http://ca.answers.yahoo.com/>

> >> >

> >>

> >>

> >> ------------------------------

> >> Looking for the perfect gift?* Give the gift of Flickr!

*<http://www.flickr.com/gift/>

> >>

> >

> >

> >

> > --

> > ~c~

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ------------------------------

> >

> > *Yahoo! Canada Toolbar :* Search from anywhere on the web and

bookmark

> > your favourite sites. Download it now!

<http://ca.toolbar.yahoo.com/>

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

> --

> ~c~

>

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I think I might have died and gone to IE heaven ;)

For some reason, this makes me wonder how chips dipped *IN* Nutella would taste! PMS anyone? :)> >> > >> >> > > Last night I finally got to see some of the pictures from my> >> > sister's wedding last month (I was the maid of honour). Well,

I> >> was> >> > not impressed with what I saw. I thought my dress looked awful> >> and I> >> > didn't realize how big I have gotten again. I looked like a

giant> >> > aqua coloured blob. You could actually see rolls of flab through> >> my> >> > dress. All the while we were looking at the pictures I was> >> thinking

> >> > in my head.. " oh my God...you looked awful... you are so fat> >> > again...you have to go on a diet...you have to go back to weight> >> > watchers. " > >> > >

> >> > > I've calmed down though since then. But I'm still kinda> >> disgusted> >> > by how big I have let myself get again. I need to really start> >> > practising IE. I know what I am supposed to do but I just

don't> >> do> >> > it. If I feel like eating, I eat whether or not I am hungry. I> >> have> >> > to be careful not to make this into a diet though...I just

need to> >> > focus in on the IE principles more.> >> > >> >> > > Kipkabob> >> > > (Intuitive eating since September 2006)> >> > >

> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >

> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _> >> > Ask a question on any topic and get answers from real people.

Go> >> to Yahoo! Answers and share what you know at> >> http://ca.answers. yahoo.com <http://ca.answers.yahoo.com/> > >> >> >>> >>> >> ------------------------------> >> Looking for the perfect gift?* Give the gift of Flickr!*<http://www.flickr.com/gift/>

> >>> >> >> >> > -- > > ~c~> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > ------------------------------> >> > *Yahoo! Canada Toolbar :* Search from anywhere on the web and

bookmark> > your favourite sites. Download it now! <http://ca.toolbar.yahoo.com/>> >> > > >> >

> > -- > ~c~>

-- ~c~

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Chip shopping! How fun! Let us know what you get!!!

> > >

> > > Last night I finally got to see some of the pictures from my

> > sister's wedding last month (I was the maid of honour).  Well, I

> was

> > not impressed with what I saw.  I thought my dress looked awful

> and I

> > didn't realize how big I have gotten again.  I looked like a giant

> > aqua coloured blob.  You could actually see rolls of flab through

> my

> > dress.  All the while we were looking at the pictures I was

> thinking

> > in my head.. " oh my God...you looked awful... you are so fat

> > again...you have to go on a diet...you have to go back to weight

> > watchers. "  

> > >  

> > > I've calmed down though since then.  But I'm still kinda

> disgusted

> > by how big I have let myself get again.  I need to really start

> > practising IE.  I know what I am supposed to do but I just don't

> do

> > it.  If I feel like eating, I eat whether or not I am hungry.  I

> have

> > to be careful not to make this into a diet though...I just need to

> > focus in on the IE principles more. 

> > >  

> > > Kipkabob

> > > (Intuitive eating since September 2006)

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

> > Ask a question on any topic and get answers from real people. Go

> to Yahoo! Answers and share what you know at

> http://ca.answers. yahoo.com

> >

>

>

>

>

> Looking for the perfect gift? Give the gift of Flickr!

>

>

>

> --

> ~c~

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________________________________________

> Ask a question on any topic and get answers from real people. Go to Yahoo!

Answers

and share what you know at http://ca.answers.yahoo.com

>

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Yay! That is so great, and it was fun reading your post! MMM...I love

doritos!

> > > >

> > > > Last night I finally got to see some of the pictures from my

> > > sister's wedding last month (I was the maid of honour).  Well, I

> > was

> > > not impressed with what I saw.  I thought my dress looked awful

> > and I

> > > didn't realize how big I have gotten again.  I looked like a giant

> > > aqua coloured blob.  You could actually see rolls of flab through

> > my

> > > dress.  All the while we were looking at the pictures I was

> > thinking

> > > in my head.. " oh my God...you looked awful... you are so fat

> > > again...you have to go on a diet...you have to go back to weight

> > > watchers. "  

> > > >  

> > > > I've calmed down though since then.  But I'm still kinda

> > disgusted

> > > by how big I have let myself get again.  I need to really start

> > > practising IE.  I know what I am supposed to do but I just don't

> > do

> > > it.  If I feel like eating, I eat whether or not I am hungry.  I

> > have

> > > to be careful not to make this into a diet though...I just need to

> > > focus in on the IE principles more. 

> > > >  

> > > > Kipkabob

> > > > (Intuitive eating since September 2006)

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

> > > Ask a question on any topic and get answers from real people. Go

> > to Yahoo! Answers and share what you know at

> > http://ca.answers. yahoo.com

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Looking for the perfect gift? Give the gift of Flickr!

> >

> >

> >

> > --

> > ~c~

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

> > Ask a question on any topic and get answers from real people. Go

to Yahoo! Answers

> and share what you know at http://ca.answers. yahoo.com

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________________________________________

> Yahoo! Canada Toolbar: Search from anywhere on the web, and bookmark

your favourite sites. Download it now at

> http://ca.toolbar.yahoo.com.

>

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Great Job!

Ok...my chip shopping story. I ended up getting 2 bags of zesty cheese Doritos (and they were onsale too...bonus!). I wanted to stop there but I made myself buy more of my favourites. Bits & Bites were on sale too so I got 2 bags of them too. And then I added a bag of BBQ potato chips. So I ended up getting 5 bags total. Pretty good..I don't think I have ever bought that much at once. I was kinda embarrassed but I kept telling myself...people don't know you...you could have a huge family you are buying these for...there's nothing wrong with buying and eating chips, etc. And then I ran into my brother! Who knows I live alone. And is currently losing weight. I kept waiting for him to comment on the stuff in my cart but he never did.

So I came home and I was hungry so I ate some Doritos! That was huge for me...normally I would make my " proper " supper and then have my snacks whether I was hungry or not. So I ate some Doritos and enjoyed them but then I was wanting something more substantial. So I had some leftover pizza and some broccoli. And then I had a cookie and a little bowl of ice cream. And I was perfectly satisfied! I haven't been hungry since and I haven't felt like eating. I'll feel like devouring them when I sit down to watch tv later. But I'm going to try and get through it without binging on the chips. I'll let you know how I make out.

Thanks for the suggestion to buy the 16 bags of chips Meg! I didn't get 16 but I got a lot more than I've ever bought. I think I'll go back and get some more after work tomorrow. I realize now that I really never have legalized chips. I did this with my favourite white chocolate bars last winter...I bought 10 bars. I went crazy for the first few days and probably ate 5 of them. But I think there is still one in my closet. It never occured to me to buy a whole bunch of chips...I guess because I was too hung up on how embarrassed I'd be.

Kipkabob

(Intuitive eating since September 2006)

Subject: Re: looking at pictures

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Received: Monday, October 27, 2008, 3:05 PM

Chip shopping! How fun! Let us know what you get!!!

> > >> > > Last night I finally got to see some of the pictures from my > > sister's wedding last month (I was the maid of honour). Well, I > was > > not impressed with what I saw. I thought my dress looked awful

> and I > > didn't realize how big I have gotten again. I looked like a giant > > aqua coloured blob. You could actually see rolls of flab through > my > > dress. All the while we were looking at the pictures I was

> thinking > > in my head.. " oh my God...you looked awful... you are so fat > > again...you have to go on a diet...you have to go back to weight > > watchers. " > > >

> > > I've calmed down though since then. But I'm still kinda > disgusted > > by how big I have let myself get again. I need to really start > > practising IE. I know what I am supposed to do but I just don't

> do > > it. If I feel like eating, I eat whether or not I am hungry. I > have > > to be careful not to make this into a diet though...I just need to > > focus in on the IE principles more.

> > > > > > Kipkabob> > > (Intuitive eating since September 2006)> > >> > > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _> > Ask a question on any topic and get answers from real people. Go

> to Yahoo! Answers and share what you know at > http://ca.answers. yahoo.com> >>

> > > > Looking for the perfect gift? Give the gift of Flickr! > > > > -- > ~c~> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _> Ask a question on any topic and get answers from real people. Go to Yahoo! Answers

and share what you know at http://ca.answers. yahoo.com>

Yahoo! Canada Toolbar : Search from anywhere on the web and bookmark your favourite sites. Download it now!

-- ~c~

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Do you know what i think is so exciting about IE, this group and this whole 16 bags of chips thing?? People who are still dieting spend every waking minute obsessing about foods they can't have. They get on their diet sites and beat themselves up about what they wish they could eat. Then someone will respond to the post with some new idea on how to stay away from chips or how to make your own fat free chips out of carrots or cauliflower. WE GET TO EAT CHIPS!! We are supporting each other, and encouraging each other to buy 16 flavors of chips! And becoming emotionally and physically healthy in the process! HOW GREAT IS THAT??

Bonnie

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Monday, October 27, 2008 2:05:26 PMSubject: Re: looking at pictures

Chip shopping! How fun! Let us know what you get!!!> > >> > > Last night I finally got to see some of the pictures from my > > sister's wedding last month (I was the maid of honour). Well, I > was > > not impressed with

what I saw. I thought my dress looked awful > and I > > didn't realize how big I have gotten again. I looked like a giant > > aqua coloured blob. You could actually see rolls of flab through > my > > dress. All the while we were looking at the pictures I was > thinking > > in my head.."oh my God...you looked awful... you are so fat > > again...you have to go on a diet...you have to go back to weight > > watchers." > > > > > > I've calmed down though since then. But I'm still kinda > disgusted > > by how big I have let myself get again. I need to really start > > practising IE. I know what I am supposed to do but I just don't > do > > it. If I feel like eating, I eat whether or not I am hungry. I > have > > to be

careful not to make this into a diet though...I just need to > > focus in on the IE principles more. > > > > > > Kipkabob> > > (Intuitive eating since September 2006)> > >> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _> > Ask a question on any topic and get answers from real people. Go > to Yahoo! Answers and share what you know at > http://ca.answers. yahoo.com> >> > > > > Looking for the perfect gift? Give the gift of Flickr! > >

> > -- > ~c~> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _> Ask a question on any topic and get answers from real people. Go to Yahoo! Answers and share what you know at http://ca.answers. yahoo.com>

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Intuitive.Eater. In.Training

wrote:

> Do you know what i think is so exciting about IE, this group and this

> whole 16 bags of chips thing?? People who are still dieting spend every

> waking minute obsessing about foods they can't have. They get on their

> diet sites and beat themselves up about what they wish they could eat.

> Then someone will respond to the post with some new idea on how to stay

> away from chips or how to make your own fat free chips out of carrots or

> cauliflower. WE GET TO EAT CHIPS!! We are supporting each other, and

> encouraging each other to buy 16 flavors of chips! And becoming

> emotionally and physically healthy in the process! HOW GREAT IS THAT??

This is so true. Though these vegetable chips I baught out of curiosity

taste quite good. However, they're are no substitute when one wants

potato chips.

I can remember being a member of several of these sites and always hated

myself even more when I couldn't follow the (sometimes rather silly or

just right idiotic) advice of fellow dieters.

Regards

s.

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