Re: Fall-out...

[Guest guest]

Dawnz,

The fallout usually isn't the the big monster that you imagine. I

don't think that a fallout will come unless you're ready and you

have the strength and resources to handle it...you've recognized

that you are stronger than you thought you were and you are. The

years of your life and incorporating IE has been helping you develop

the strength you need and has been leading you to this crossroads.

I read about the pain of that little girl in your message and

recognized the possible grief that may be inside of you as well.

Maybe that little girl likes being messy...maybe it was a way to let

go and express yourself. I wouldn't fight that part of me...I'd work

with myself to create new ways/options to express myself that better

reflect who I am now. A vulnerable spot has been touched and this is

the best time to give yourself care and attention.

Recognizing your center is huge. Losing sight/feel of your center

and gaining it again is a part of the process. I don't spin out

nearly as much as I used to and when I do I rebound much more

quickly...and I think that it's because of love and compassion for

myself and because I recognize and accept all of who I really

am...the light and the dark.

I think that it's essential to recognize (as you are doing) that

other adults can develop or have the capacity to take care of

themselves within relationship. I spent alot of my life bottling up

who I am and needing to stuff myself down with food because I didn't

think other people could handle me or what expression came from

within. I also didn't want to " hurt " other people. I realized that

my intention was never to hurt, simple to share and express who I

really am and what's important me. I will respect and accept what

other people share about who they are and what's important to them

as well. I want the people that I care about to know who I am...not

who they want me to be. I've found that sometimes it's possible for

people to see me as I am and sometimes it's not. Though, I need to

recognize, claim, and respect who I am as well whether they can or

not. As long as I'm clear about that I know that I have the strength

and resources to navigate and communicate through any difficult and

painful situations.

I believe that it takes time, practice, and courage to develop the

capacity to be more and more open with others and with yourself.

Relationship is an fine art. I've slowly tested the waters by

revealing myself and my intentions and observing and working with

the responses that come back. In contrast, I can be much more open

with other people who have a better sense of their center and

strength. Recognizing and claiming your own center and strength and

being a model for those around you can bring even more healing. We

are making peace with food and making peace with ourselves at the

same time.

Latoya

My urges to keep things messy in my life. Maybe that is my

ingrained comfort zone and maybe that is the thing I need to fight

the hardest. To allow myself to be who that little girl started out

as so many years ago, before all the pain.

I think I know who I am at my center. I think I need to allow myself

to " hurt " others, especially my mom and my sister, knowing that they

are adults and need to deal with their own lives.

Any maybe, just maybe, when I allow myself to be the real me, maybe

the fall-out won't be the very big monster I imagine it to be.

> dawnz

>

[Guest guest]

Latoya,

I think you're probably right. This is all such new ground for me and

sometimes I really feel like I'm just faltering along. The thing is

though, I AM much stronger than I am used to giving myself credit for.

I'm working on grasping that and realizing that being strong doesn't

mean that I will necessarily hurt someone else. It also means that I

am working towards accepting that I don't need to be responsible for

their feelings any longer. I get stuck in that mindset sometimes.

Thank-you for the reminder. It's good to hear someone else's perspective.

dawnz

> My urges to keep things messy in my life. Maybe that is my

> ingrained comfort zone and maybe that is the thing I need to fight

> the hardest. To allow myself to be who that little girl started out

> as so many years ago, before all the pain.

> I think I know who I am at my center. I think I need to allow myself

> to " hurt " others, especially my mom and my sister, knowing that they

> are adults and need to deal with their own lives.

> Any maybe, just maybe, when I allow myself to be the real me, maybe

> the fall-out won't be the very big monster I imagine it to be.

> > dawnz

> >

>