Tara

[Guest guest]

" Karin Redston " <kitties@...> wrote:

>I remember when Tara went off the list in a flurry. I didn't know >then

>what was up and now I guess we found out.

What? Found what? She stated what she was upset about.

>She'll be back.

No she won't. Tara is a friend of mine and le is my god-daughter.

She will not be back.

>Tara is not " rubbish " and I too, enjoyed the posts about le.

>So, I know she'll be back. She has already, once before.

>Karin

Karin, I am so glad to hear that you like hearing about le. I really

do. Its not just about le though. Tara is a great mother and yes

she likes to talk about le, but when she has asked questions before

she would only get one response or two. Its not fair when you ask important

questions about your child's health and get no response while another day

someone's child gets 20+ happy birthday emails(public ones at that!) I am

not trying to point fingers or be on anyone's side. Everyone needs to

understand that she has been patient for a year now and felt it was a waste

of time. Yes she was off the list at another time but that was about

something else entirely and a personal non-list problem at that! Karin I

admire that you are so optimistic about Tara coming back but she will not

be. I will be staying on the digest for medical news and to hear about

Mandy's progress, Duncan Well's adventures, the Bradford Boys hyjinks, and

Fred's ever-fun tales and jeers but I, too, get tired of no responses,

bickering(not you), and the occasional non-dwarfism topics.

Tara's a big girl(ok she's a LP, you know what I mean). She can handle

it. She has several people in her family with knowledge and a supportive

hand. It is too bad that she felt the way she did because she has great

advice for moms and others. My plea is that when someone comes on here and

asks a question, could the 700 some odd of you just come out of the woodwork

and lend a hand? I know that I am guilty of sometimes reading someone's

question and was reluctant to answer because I thought it would get answered

eventually. Please help your fellow LPs and families of LPs. We need to

stick together and rally to support them. Think of Mandy. She has gotten

help because people around her cared enough to send words of encouragement

and information to Debi and her family.

I'm sorry this was so long. I spoke from the heart and I ask if you want to

flame, could you please send an extinguisher with it?

All my hugs,

Proud friend of the family and godmother to little le Mills

(10 month old).

[Guest guest]

I had no idea no one answered her. I don't have children so I don't speak

of what I don't know....but please pass on that I'll keep her in my thoughts

(and Gabby too)...and if she ever has a kitty question then fire away. :-)

Karin

-

[Guest guest]

Hi Gail,

I'm thinking of you and Tara--I know things will go very well. Sara had

tubes put in when she was almost 2. It was over very quickly!

Marcia

Mom to Sara (DS) and 5 and Lucas 9

[Guest guest]

Good luck Tara, you'll be in my prayers!

Judi

--- GVanHouten <rjvh@...> wrote:

> Hi everyone, not too big news, just thought I would

> just let my list

> frinds know that Tara will be having sugery VERY

> EARLY tomorrow

> morning.Just ear tubes. Don't expect any

> complications. Should be home

> in the late afternoon. She needs to be admitted by

> 6:00 AM, the hospital

> is a good hour+ from our house, soo.........I'm

> going to bed, I'm all

> packed........will check in tomorrow night!

> Gail..........Bobby 6, Jillian 3 1/2, and

> Tara{ds} 1 soon

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

We will keep Tara and your family in our thoughts and prayers.She will do just

fine!

~,moma to (DS) & Sloan {22 months}

[Guest guest]

Hi Liz,

It makes me feel good that I was missed. Thank you so much for that

and I missed all of you too. I can't even begin to tell you how much

LL aided me with stress this past week. It helped me clear my head,

have better focus and helped me make decisions that I otherwise

wouldn't have because I would have been too emotional and wallowing

in self-pity. Stress makes us feel so crazy sometimes and I feel so

blessed to have found LL to help me deal with life's challenges. The

name LifeLift suits it perfectly because that's exactly what it is.

Everyone take care,

ë Tara

> Hi Tara,

>

> I was thinking about you earlier today wondering where you were. I

missed

> you. :-) I'm glad whatever the situation was from this week is

getting

> better. Isn't it great that the breathing can help relax us so that

we

> can cope better with problems that arise?

>

> Love, Liz

> ________________________________________________________________

> YOU'RE PAYING TOO MUCH FOR THE INTERNET!

> Juno now offers FREE Internet Access!

> Try it today - there's no risk! For your FREE software, visit:

> http://dl.www.juno.com/get/tagj.

[Guest guest]

YAY TARA!!

b.

> > >

> > > Don't invite me. I've got a great ear for music, but my vocal

chords

> > > have a mind of their own--I can mangle " Happy Birthday " .

> > >

> > > Naomi

> > > ******

> > > > We should have our own Bodyforlifewomen's list chorus! I sing

with

> > the

> > > > symphony chorus here. I'm an alto

> > > >

> > > > Barbara

> > > >

> > > >

-------------------------------------------------------------------

> > -----

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Ok...get ready for this...2150 calories today! I feel pretty guilty about it b/c

I wasn't really hungry when I had my last meal..until I started eating it that

is. I feel like a bottomless pit now! The more I'm eating, the hungrier I seem

to be getting. I'm actually taking a day of rest tomorrow! No gym!

alysd38 <no_reply > wrote: YAY TARA!!

b.

> > >

> > > Don't invite me. I've got a great ear for music, but my vocal

chords

> > > have a mind of their own--I can mangle " Happy Birthday " .

> > >

> > > Naomi

> > > ******

> > > > We should have our own Bodyforlifewomen's list chorus! I sing

with

> > the

> > > > symphony chorus here. I'm an alto

> > > >

> > > > Barbara

> > > >

> > > >

-------------------------------------------------------------------

> > -----

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Tara, that is great. Now, I suggest you take at least a week having

this caloric intake a day. Not too much more, not too much less.

You need to learn that YOU are in controle of your eating. I'll bet

you are feeling all kinds of better!

Enjoy your day of rest.

Barbara

> > > >

> > > > Don't invite me. I've got a great ear for music, but my vocal

> chords

> > > > have a mind of their own--I can mangle " Happy Birthday " .

> > > >

> > > > Naomi

> > > > ******

> > > > > We should have our own Bodyforlifewomen's list chorus! I

sing

> with

> > > the

> > > > > symphony chorus here. I'm an alto

> > > > >

> > > > > Barbara

> > > > >

> > > > >

> -------------------------------------------------------------------

> > > -----

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

GOOD GIRL!!!

Are you going to be taking a freeday?

Re: Re: TARA

> Ok...get ready for this...2150 calories today! I feel pretty guilty about

> it b/c I wasn't really hungry when I had my last meal..until I started

> eating it that is. I feel like a bottomless pit now! The more I'm eating,

> the hungrier I seem to be getting. I'm actually taking a day of rest

> tomorrow! No gym!

>

> alysd38 <no_reply > wrote: YAY TARA!!

>

> b.

>

>

>> > >

>> > > Don't invite me. I've got a great ear for music, but my vocal

> chords

>> > > have a mind of their own--I can mangle " Happy Birthday " .

>> > >

>> > > Naomi

>> > > ******

>> > > > We should have our own Bodyforlifewomen's list chorus! I sing

> with

>> > the

>> > > > symphony chorus here. I'm an alto

>> > > >

>> > > > Barbara

>> > > >

>> > > >

> -------------------------------------------------------------------

>> > -----

>> > > >

>> > >

>> >

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

[Guest guest]

good for you

felicity

> Ok...get ready for this...2150 calories today! I feel pretty guilty

> about it b/c I wasn't really hungry when I had my last meal..until

> I started eating it that is. I feel like a bottomless pit now! The

> more I'm eating, the hungrier I seem to be getting. I'm actually

> taking a day of rest tomorrow! No gym!

>

> alysd38 <no_reply > wrote: YAY TARA!!

>

> b.

>

>

>>>>

>>>> Don't invite me. I've got a great ear for music, but my vocal

> chords

>>>> have a mind of their own--I can mangle " Happy Birthday " .

>>>>

>>>> Naomi

>>>> ******

>>>>> We should have our own Bodyforlifewomen's list chorus! I sing

> with

>>> the

>>>>> symphony chorus here. I'm an alto

>>>>>

>>>>> Barbara

>>>>>

>>>>>

> -------------------------------------------------------------------

>>> -----

>>>>>

>>>>

>>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

[Guest guest]

I honestly don't think I can handle giving myself a free day with food,

especially when I'm not exercising today. I feel guilty that I'm starving right

now b/c I ate so much yesterday. I'm nervous about eating too much during the

day b/c I have to go out to dinner tonight and then my friends are taking me out

for a sort of bachelorette party. I don't really like to drink, but I'm afraid

that I will be pressured into it. They think that I don't drink b/c of the

calories, but honestly, I just don't like it. Weighed and measured today to see

how the first week went. Since Sunday, my weight has zigzagged, but it was

111.8, today it was 111.6 (up from a low of 110 on Wed). Body fat according to

Tanita in athlete mode has gone from 9.1 to 11.1 today. Measurements are almost

the same except down .5 in on my waist and down a little on my bicep, which is

NOT where I want to lose! Anyway, there's the update!

Felicity wrote: good for you

felicity

> Ok...get ready for this...2150 calories today! I feel pretty guilty

> about it b/c I wasn't really hungry when I had my last meal..until

> I started eating it that is. I feel like a bottomless pit now! The

> more I'm eating, the hungrier I seem to be getting. I'm actually

> taking a day of rest tomorrow! No gym!

>

> alysd38 <no_reply > wrote: YAY TARA!!

>

> b.

>

>

>>>>

>>>> Don't invite me. I've got a great ear for music, but my vocal

> chords

>>>> have a mind of their own--I can mangle " Happy Birthday " .

>>>>

>>>> Naomi

>>>> ******

>>>>> We should have our own Bodyforlifewomen's list chorus! I sing

> with

>>> the

>>>>> symphony chorus here. I'm an alto

>>>>>

>>>>> Barbara

>>>>>

>>>>>

> -------------------------------------------------------------------

>>> -----

>>>>>

>>>>

>>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

[Guest guest]

You are doing the right thing Tara, just remember, we need to feed our

muscle or we will lose it.

At 05:39 AM 6/3/2006, you wrote:

>I honestly don't think I can handle giving myself a free day with food,

>especially when I'm not exercising today. I feel guilty that I'm starving

>right now b/c I ate so much yesterday. I'm nervous about eating too much

>during the day b/c I have to go out to dinner tonight and then my friends

>are taking me out for a sort of bachelorette party. I don't really like to

>drink, but I'm afraid that I will be pressured into it. They think that I

>don't drink b/c of the calories, but honestly, I just don't like it.

>Weighed and measured today to see how the first week went. Since Sunday,

>my weight has zigzagged, but it was 111.8, today it was 111.6 (up from a

>low of 110 on Wed). Body fat according to Tanita in athlete mode has gone

>from 9.1 to 11.1 today. Measurements are almost the same except down .5 in

>on my waist and down a little on my bicep, which is NOT where I want to

>lose! Anyway, there's the update!

>

>F

--

No virus found in this outgoing message.

Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.

Version: 7.1.394 / Virus Database: 268.8.1/354 - Release Date: 6/1/2006

[Guest guest]

You're right, and I know what I need to do. I have locked up my scale and given

the key to my fiancee with strict orders not to give it to me until next

Saturday, no matter how much I beg and plead! I feel much better about myself

and tend to concentrate more on how I'm feeling when I don't weigh myself every

day.

Diane wrote: You are doing the right thing Tara,

just remember, we need to feed our

muscle or we will lose it.

At 05:39 AM 6/3/2006, you wrote:

>I honestly don't think I can handle giving myself a free day with food,

>especially when I'm not exercising today. I feel guilty that I'm starving

>right now b/c I ate so much yesterday. I'm nervous about eating too much

>during the day b/c I have to go out to dinner tonight and then my friends

>are taking me out for a sort of bachelorette party. I don't really like to

>drink, but I'm afraid that I will be pressured into it. They think that I

>don't drink b/c of the calories, but honestly, I just don't like it.

>Weighed and measured today to see how the first week went. Since Sunday,

>my weight has zigzagged, but it was 111.8, today it was 111.6 (up from a

>low of 110 on Wed). Body fat according to Tanita in athlete mode has gone

>from 9.1 to 11.1 today. Measurements are almost the same except down .5 in

>on my waist and down a little on my bicep, which is NOT where I want to

>lose! Anyway, there's the update!

>

>F

--

No virus found in this outgoing message.

Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.

Version: 7.1.394 / Virus Database: 268.8.1/354 - Release Date: 6/1/2006

[Guest guest]

WOW!!!

That is amazing! I am so proud of you!!!

Re: Re: TARA

> You're right, and I know what I need to do. I have locked up my scale and

> given the key to my fiancee with strict orders not to give it to me until

> next Saturday, no matter how much I beg and plead! I feel much better

> about myself and tend to concentrate more on how I'm feeling when I don't

> weigh myself every day.

>

> Diane wrote: You are doing the right thing

> Tara, just remember, we need to feed our

> muscle or we will lose it.

>

>

> At 05:39 AM 6/3/2006, you wrote:

>

>>I honestly don't think I can handle giving myself a free day with food,

>>especially when I'm not exercising today. I feel guilty that I'm starving

>>right now b/c I ate so much yesterday. I'm nervous about eating too much

>>during the day b/c I have to go out to dinner tonight and then my friends

>>are taking me out for a sort of bachelorette party. I don't really like to

>>drink, but I'm afraid that I will be pressured into it. They think that I

>>don't drink b/c of the calories, but honestly, I just don't like it.

>>Weighed and measured today to see how the first week went. Since Sunday,

>>my weight has zigzagged, but it was 111.8, today it was 111.6 (up from a

>>low of 110 on Wed). Body fat according to Tanita in athlete mode has gone

>>from 9.1 to 11.1 today. Measurements are almost the same except down .5 in

>>on my waist and down a little on my bicep, which is NOT where I want to

>>lose! Anyway, there's the update!

>>

>>F

>

>

> --

> No virus found in this outgoing message.

> Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.

> Version: 7.1.394 / Virus Database: 268.8.1/354 - Release Date: 6/1/2006

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

That's weird that you say that. I just got home. I got my own drink (diet coke)

and told everyone it was rum and coke! Haha...it was fun. Midnight and I'm

hungry, so I had some cottage cheese and pumpkin w/ some UDOs. Just realized I

had been using the wrong measuring spoon and had 2 TBSP instead of 1 today, but

that's ok. I need the fat! 2000 today! Not too shabby!

lrcsam <no_reply > wrote: Tara,

> > ...and then my friends

> > are taking me out for a sort of bachelorette party.

> > I don't really like to drink, but I'm afraid that

> > I will be pressured into it.

This may be too late for your party, but might be

helpful for future events.

I ran into this with friends when I cut way back on

my drinking. Club soda with a lime looks like a

gin or vodka drink and when people think you've got

a drink it keeps them from commenting. You could

always talk to the waitress away from the group and

ask that she keep bringing the club soda without

saying what it was at the table. Putting a tip on

her tray while you're telling her will help her

remember.

For the really pushy people - something that helped

a lot was looking the person in the eye, telling

them last time you drank too much you threw up all

over someone - are they volunteering for this time?

It gets easier.

[Guest guest]

Thanks! Now I just have to stick to it!

E wrote: WOW!!!

That is amazing! I am so proud of you!!!

Re: Re: TARA

> You're right, and I know what I need to do. I have locked up my scale and

> given the key to my fiancee with strict orders not to give it to me until

> next Saturday, no matter how much I beg and plead! I feel much better

> about myself and tend to concentrate more on how I'm feeling when I don't

> weigh myself every day.

>

> Diane wrote: You are doing the right thing

> Tara, just remember, we need to feed our

> muscle or we will lose it.

>

>

> At 05:39 AM 6/3/2006, you wrote:

>

>>I honestly don't think I can handle giving myself a free day with food,

>>especially when I'm not exercising today. I feel guilty that I'm starving

>>right now b/c I ate so much yesterday. I'm nervous about eating too much

>>during the day b/c I have to go out to dinner tonight and then my friends

>>are taking me out for a sort of bachelorette party. I don't really like to

>>drink, but I'm afraid that I will be pressured into it. They think that I

>>don't drink b/c of the calories, but honestly, I just don't like it.

>>Weighed and measured today to see how the first week went. Since Sunday,

>>my weight has zigzagged, but it was 111.8, today it was 111.6 (up from a

>>low of 110 on Wed). Body fat according to Tanita in athlete mode has gone

>>from 9.1 to 11.1 today. Measurements are almost the same except down .5 in

>>on my waist and down a little on my bicep, which is NOT where I want to

>>lose! Anyway, there's the update!

>>

>>F

>

>

> --

> No virus found in this outgoing message.

> Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.

> Version: 7.1.394 / Virus Database: 268.8.1/354 - Release Date: 6/1/2006

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Oh, Tara, I have your name on my prayer list, but I don't have your child or children's names. Pat K

prayers

>

>

>

> DIL has decided to take karac to his younger brothers baseball game for the first time.? They never take karac because younger brother is ashamed of him.? Please pray that karac enjoys being with the family and that he behaves appropriately; so that Karac will be able to go again and be part of the family.? Thank you for your prayers. Love and blessings, Pat K

>

>

> An Excellent Credit Score is 750. See Yours in Just 2 Easy Steps!

>

An Excellent Credit Score is 750. See Yours in Just 2 Easy Steps!

[Guest guest]

Pat K, thanks so much for taking the time out of your busy and stressful

schedule to care and pray for the women in this group. That is so amazing. I

signed up for the children of destiny email...thanks for mentioning it e!

Its amazing what is out on the net if you are just directed to it! My kids names

are (18), Caylie (16), Jordan (8), and Jaymie (girl, 7). Jordan is my

" challenge " , though they definitely all have their own challenges!

Blessings to you, Tara

> >

> > Thanks, e, the day has been wonderful.? DIL said Karac did well.? She

called after about an hour and a half and said Karac was tired and would I come

get him.? I hope she will take him again next time.? I really appreciate the

prayers.? I think they are making a difference.

> >

> > I took Karac to 's Day? at the mall and he enjoyed it and was

totally appropriate.

> >

> > I pray you and the others have had a good day too.? Love and blessings, Pat

K

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > prayers

> >

> >

> >

> > DIL has decided to take karac to his younger brothers baseball game for the

first time.? They never take karac because younger brother is ashamed of him.?

Please pray that karac enjoys being with the family and that he behaves

appropriately; so that Karac will be able to go again and be part of the

family.? Thank you for your prayers. Love and blessings, Pat K

> >

> >

> > An Excellent Credit Score is 750. See Yours in Just 2 Easy Steps!

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the children's names. You have your plate full; don't you?

I love praying for you. It blesses my life.

I have needed the extra strength for today. DH has the AT & T man

out messing with all the TV's LOL, LOL, Pat K

prayers

> >

> >

> >

> > DIL has decided to take karac to his younger brothers baseball game for the first time.? They never take karac because younger brother is ashamed of him.? Please pray that karac enjoys being with the family and that he behaves appropriately; so that Karac will be able to go again and be part of the family.? Thank you for your prayers. Love and blessings, Pat K

> >

> >

> > An Excellent Credit Score is 750. See Yours in Just 2 Easy Steps!

> >

>

A Good Credit Score is 700 or Above. See yours in just 2 easy steps!

[Guest guest]

Pat K, how is your day so far? I know it's busy (and you already know this, but you are so precious to me)

e

From: "pkuenstler@..." <pkuenstler@...>autism Sent: Tuesday, June 16, 2009 12:08:29 PMSubject: Re: Tara

Thanks for the children's names. You have your plate full; don't you?I love praying for you. It blesses my life. I have needed the extra strength for today. DH has the AT & T man out messing with all the TV's LOL, LOL, Pat K prayers> > > > > > > > DIL has decided to take karac to his younger brothers baseball game for the first time.? They never take karac because younger brother is

ashamed of him.? Please pray that karac enjoys being with the family and that he behaves appropriately; so that Karac will be able to go again and be part of the family.? Thank you for your prayers. Love and blessings, Pat K > > > > > > An Excellent Credit Score is 750.. See Yours in Just 2 Easy Steps!> >>

A Good Credit Score is 700 or Above. See yours in just 2 easy steps!

[Guest guest]

Things are better now that the AT & T man has left and Ermil is here, and Ayden is asleep.LOL, LOL

How is your day? You are such a DEF (dear email friend). LOL, Love and blessings, Pat K

prayers

> >

> >

> >

> > DIL has decided to take karac to his younger brothers baseball game for the first time.? They never take karac because younger brother is ashamed of him.? Please pray that karac enjoys being with the family and that he behaves appropriately; so that Karac will be able to go again and be part of the family.? Thank you for your prayers. Love and blessings, Pat K

> >

> >

> > An Excellent Credit Score is 750.. See Yours in Just 2 Easy Steps!

> >

>

A Good Credit Score is 700 or Above. See yours in just 2 easy steps!

A Good Credit Score is 700 or Above. See yours in just 2 easy steps!

[Guest guest]

It is rather peaceful around here today --- for which I'm grateful

Lily is sick...she has a slight fever 100.4 ish ---- she usually runs about 97. something or other, so I know she doesn't feel well I think she is getting a cold...but she is resting now that she is on fever medication.

is Content one minute, very 2.5 and asd another He's doing well though...

Here's to naps and therapists!!!! LOL

e

From: "pkuenstler@..." <pkuenstler@...>autism Sent: Tuesday, June 16, 2009 1:16:00 PMSubject: Re: Tara

Things are better now that the AT & T man has left and Ermil is here, and Ayden is asleep.LOL, LOLHow is your day? You are such a DEF (dear email friend). LOL, Love and blessings, Pat K prayers> > > > > > > > DIL has decided to take karac to his younger brothers baseball game for the first time.? They never take karac because younger brother is

ashamed of him.? Please pray that karac enjoys being with the family and that he behaves appropriately; so that Karac will be able to go again and be part of the family.? Thank you for your prayers. Love and blessings, Pat K > > > > > > An Excellent Credit Score is 750... See Yours in Just 2 Easy Steps!> >>

A Good Credit Score is 700 or Above. See yours in just 2 easy steps!

A Good Credit Score is 700 or Above. See yours in just 2 easy steps!

[Guest guest]

I had a pretty good size mass on my right breast plus we found 4 other spots

during my treatment including some lymph activity. I was officially diagnosed

with DCIS, stage 0 but I believe the staging occurs once they have done surgery

which I didn't do. I think I was stage 3. Treatment was at Lase Med Inc., Broken

Arrow, OK. I am doing another follow up down there in 6 months, but with someone

independent from Lase Med. We want proof from somewhere independent from Lase

Med to assure this case gets noticed. I am one of the only people that had

treatment there without any chemo, radiation, or surgery before or after

treatment. We're thinking that is why I'm healing so fast.

From: robyn howell

Tara,

Where and how did you get your treatments? How much cancer did you have?

[Guest guest]

Tara's message below came just to me. She has asked me to forward it

to the group.

Begin forwarded message:

> From: tara bowman <tara_bowman2003@...>

> Date: July 29, 2010 3:59:47 AM EDT

> marysue@...

> Subject: Re:

>

> i am not doing so good. i go to a pain clinic cuz i cant handle the

> pain.i have ra and fibromialgia, and ventricular tachycardia,

> asthma, sometimes oncein a whle. i will smoke marijuana cuz i just

> cannot get myself to eat without being so nuases. i throw up

> everyday..well i told the pain clinic that and he was ok with it but

> now all of a sudden i get a call from the pain clinic they wanted to

> see me. so i went in it was actually supposed to be for a steroid

> injection in my back. he didnt even do the procedure, he took my

> vicodin away, and is now only gonna give me my pain patch of

> fentanyl. turns out that some one i know called the pain clinic and

> said that i abuse my medication. witch is so untrue.

> i have an 8 yr old little girl to take care of and he is gonna

> listen to who ever caled anonymously...then they call dcf on me and

> said i do drugs in front of my little girl. why anyone would want to

> drag a child through all this bull is not aprrpriate. and there only

> putting my little girl into being scared. she already thinks im

> gonna die from being sick, witch isnt gonna happen, and she was

> taken before for that 72 hour thing cuz i was physicaly sick and had

> no one to watch her when i was in the hospital. turns out the nurse

> called dcf, so i left the hospital to go home with my little girl

> and they swiped her faster than the road runnner. so it was friday

> so i had to wait until monday to go to court.

> then the next day witch was saturday, someone faxed a letter

> to my landlord stating that my boyfreind was staing here, witch isnt

> true cuz he works overnite shift, and sleeps at his house and then

> comes over fora couple hours...

> people figured they could hurt me by having my children

> taken away from me. but the children also get hurt. they have to go

> sleep in someone elses house with people they never met. so i moved.

> 3 yrs later i made aqainses that i talk to now and then i got taken

> advantage of and i was stole from. all becuase i started goin out

> more. and not being around so they can use me more.

> but i have alot of medical things wrong with me. thats dcfs

> excuse for taken my kids. so i guess anyone who is sick has to lose

> there kids for the parent to get health treatment witch im entitled

> to get. its a long story, but i just found out were my jewelry went

> by someone swiping it, it was the girl that lives down stairs from

> me. it has been pawned, so now tommorow morning i have to go and

> repor it stolen and they will give me my jewelry back...i had 400.00

> put away for rent that i was gonna pay cuz im 100.00 short that

> money waas taken. my wii system is gone, and the games i cant even

> remember the names of the games there was like twenty games.

> my food stamp card

> wii game system

> 400.00

>

> then my little girl went downstairs to go somewere and she came

> back crying cuz they had her things, she saw them.. and she heard

> the lady fighting with her man over one of them slappin their

> duaghter.

> then i decided that i would clean the house and take my little

> chuahuahua for a walk. but it wasnt a joyfull walk like every day i

> take her for a walk. today was an off day im on alot of medication

> and im also on remicade infusions.

> methotrexate

> prednisone

> inhaler of albuterall

> fentanyl pain patch

> xanex but i think i need a higher dose or a change

> adderall 20mg

> seroquel 200mg at hs, 50mg twice a day, 25 mg twice a day

> atenolol

> lexapro

> zofran 8 mg 3 times a day for nausea

> folic acid

> zantac

> benztropine

> reglan

> and then like i said i smoke once in a while. i ive in ma and i dnt

> understand cuz you can now carry it around under an ounce... it

> helps me to eat if i cant smoke i wont be able to eat.

> on top of everything else my 17 yr old son is in jail, he was at the

> deveroux program in rutland ma this was against what i thought. i

> told dcf they are putting people a risk. he didnt want to hear it,

> hes the same social worker i had when i was little and in dcfs care.

> he cant sit back and make a nuetral decision. he dont like me and i

> dont like him, he told me to hit my son in his bad kneethat he had

> surgery on for a torn acl he received while being at the lowell

> youth treatment center.

> custody keeps goin back and forth when dcf has no place to put

> him thats when they call me and say hes comming home. and im like

> what hows this happening....

> but after all my pleading and beeging i asked them not to place him

> at deveroux hes gonna really hurt someone. and they didnt even

> listen to me.

> my son has very bad aggressive behavior, he broke a staff members

> jaw a few yrs ago, hes tried to start fires by putting things in the

> electrical outlets, , and now i also told dcf that i dont want to

> end up being that family on the news cuz he murderd someone or his

> family.. guess what WE WERE JUST ON THE NEWS AND ALLLOVER THE

> INTERNET, RUTLAND MA DEVEROUX PROGRAM HE ASSUALTED TWO MALE STAFF,

> ONE OF THEM HAD GLASSES ON HIS FACE AND CUASED SERIOUS INJURY TO HIS

> EYES AND FACE. THEN TWO DAYS LATER THEY PUT MY SON ONE ON ONE WITH A

> PETITE FEMALE ASSISTANT TEACHER, HE BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF HER AND

> ATTEMPED TO RAPE HER.... SO I FEEL LIKE ONE DAY IM GONNA HAVE A

> HEART ATTACK. SINCE 2001 I HAVE BEEN TELLING THEM THEY ARE PUTTING

> HIM IN PLACES HE SHOULDT BE...HE HAS NO REMORSE AND THAT SCARES ME....

> anyone got any ideas to help me at least feel better.the pain

> clinic is out he wont give me my vicodin for breakthrough pain due

> to that call he anonymously got. im so hurt and mad and stupid and

> most of all i am in SEVERE PAIN and he dont care, the

> pain clinic anyways, my primary care dr is just as bad he has no

> good bedside manner. he thinks im just crazy, he dont care about my

> pain. he dont like me... and im trying to stick it out so they dont

> say im pill shopping. so what do i do????

> i took a loan out on my car my 2009 toyota yars becuase

> someone stole my money. so i had no choice but to take a loan out to

> help me and my little girl could survive. and now the car is all

> bought and paid for but i took a title laon out and i missed one

> payment and there threatning to come and take the car. i need my car

> for my medical things, and im handicapped. im so mssed up, im an

> emotional wreck.. these supposed freinds of mine also stole some of

> my medication... i need help so im just venting, itll never fix

> itself, i am stupid..... my duaghter hates me right now cuz i

> couldnt take her out cuz i was sick...WHAT CAN I DO can someone help

> me give me ideas anything you can think of, like a support group for

> survivors of rape for me and something for my duaghter witnessing

> it...thanks for listening...

>

>

>