Re: Eating While Overwhelmed With Emotions

[Guest guest]

"Does anyone else struggle with the problem of being physically hungrybut not really wanting to eat because you feel strong emotions at thismoment and eating would feel like reinforcing thecoping-with- food-mechanism?Usually when I'm feeling really strong emotions I feel like I can't eat.I have no appetite. However, the physical feeling is uncomfortable(headache, lightneadedness, growling stomach, clenched jaw, weird tastein the mouth, slight nausea... you know these sensations).I don't know if I'm just creating a dilemma on purpose but this questionreally gets to me (again): Do I reinforce the unwanted coping mechanism when eating whilephysically hungry but being overwhelmed with

emotions?It simply doesn't feel "right" or "good" to eat then."

Recently I lost my job and experienced some pretty raw and intense emotions. I work with brides for a living and basically saw all their dreams go up in flames, as the place they had been planning to have their rather lavish wedding receptions went up in a fire. It was a horrible experience. And I didn't want to eat. For the first time in my life, I was experiencing "true emotions." Why do I call them true emotions? Because I didn't want to cover them with food. It's as simple as that.

For me however, I had to make a decision, while I knew I wasn't hungry, I also had to relate back to an analogy that my therapist that I am currently working with told me. My body is just like a car. It needs gas to go every day. I can put in a little gas, and go a little ways. I can put in a little more gas later and go a little further. There are two points to the story she told me. One, I don't have to fill the tank every single time I'm at the gas station. And two, I'm not gonna go anywhere unless I put at least something in the gas tank.

Coffee for me wouldn't be putting something in the gas tank. Remember that on days like this, your eating is to enable your body to perform it's basic functions. My solution was to go buy some Ensure. This way I could take it with me and sip it slowly. It didn't upset my stomach and allowed me to drink it slowly, sipping a few of them throughout the day. It's not an amazing choice, but at least I know I'm getting something in my body and that it's nutritionally sound.

It may not feel good or right to eat at that point, but at some point in this journey, even though great deals of it are about emotions, the logical and practical side of us has to come out. Trust me when I say it's not easy to write that. It took me a great deal of time with my therapist and my group work, as well as my private work to be able to say that some days, I have to step up to the plate and accept the challenges that are in this for myself. I have to decide to make some choices because they are the best choice for my body, especially if I'm having a bad day emotionally.

I hope this helps with how I handled my situation.

Amy

[Guest guest]

Good morning -

Here's my thoughts:

*You could try to meditate for a few minutes before you eat. This may decrease the intensity of the feelings so you feel more comfortable eating.

*You could acknowledge that while you are experiencing alot of emotions, you are truly physically hungry. It is totally ok to eat when you are hungry, so I"m thinking just the thought of acknowledging that the emotions are there too might help.

*Maybe there will be times when you eat even though the emotions are running high. I'm thinking we can't always have an ideal emotional state in which to eat. Does that make sense?

Keep writing/posting about this. You are being a great observer of yourself!

Hope this helps :)Kim

IE since Aug 08

Subject: Eating While Overwhelmed With EmotionsTo: "Intuitive Eating" <IntuitiveEating_Support >Date: Sunday, November 30, 2008, 5:59 AM

I can remember posting about this a while ago. IIRC I didn't get muchanswer. Maybe I wasn't able to bring across my point but I'm overwhelmedwith emotions lately again and this has become a problem again.Does anyone else struggle with the problem of being physically hungrybut not really wanting to eat because you feel strong emotions at thismoment and eating would feel like reinforcing thecoping-with- food-mechanism?Usually when I'm feeling really strong emotions I feel like I can't eat.I have no appetite. However, the physical feeling is uncomfortable(headache, lightneadedness, growling stomach, clenched jaw, weird tastein the mouth, slight nausea... you know these sensations).I don't know if I'm just creating a dilemma on purpose but this questionreally gets to me (again): Do I reinforce the unwanted coping mechanism when eating whilephysically hungry but being overwhelmed

with emotions?It simply doesn't feel "right" or "good" to eat then.I can remember dealing with this some months ago that I simply didn'teat most of the time when being in this situation but drank a coffeewith milk and sugar or a glass of juice or something to get rid of thehunger symptoms while not eating but it didn't really work (no wonder ifone thinks about that a cup of coffee doesn't equal a meal).I'd appreciate any feedback, be it a "yes, I know the feeling" or a"never thought of that" or a "you're a problem-creator, stop it".Regardss.

[Guest guest]

Hi Styxia,

I am the same way, can`t eat when ovelwhelmed. I think drinking a glass of juice or a liquid of some kind to get rid of the feeling in the stomach is a great idea. I think it is a pretty sain way to honor and respect your feeling and your body.

Nat

Subject: Eating While Overwhelmed With EmotionsTo: "Intuitive Eating" <IntuitiveEating_Support >Received: Sunday, November 30, 2008, 10:59 AM

I can remember posting about this a while ago. IIRC I didn't get muchanswer. Maybe I wasn't able to bring across my point but I'm overwhelmedwith emotions lately again and this has become a problem again.Does anyone else struggle with the problem of being physically hungrybut not really wanting to eat because you feel strong emotions at thismoment and eating would feel like reinforcing thecoping-with- food-mechanism?Usually when I'm feeling really strong emotions I feel like I can't eat.I have no appetite. However, the physical feeling is uncomfortable(headache, lightneadedness, growling stomach, clenched jaw, weird tastein the mouth, slight nausea... you know these sensations).I don't know if I'm just creating a dilemma on purpose but this questionreally gets to me (again): Do I reinforce the unwanted coping mechanism when eating whilephysically hungry but being overwhelmed

with emotions?It simply doesn't feel "right" or "good" to eat then.I can remember dealing with this some months ago that I simply didn'teat most of the time when being in this situation but drank a coffeewith milk and sugar or a glass of juice or something to get rid of thehunger symptoms while not eating but it didn't really work (no wonder ifone thinks about that a cup of coffee doesn't equal a meal).I'd appreciate any feedback, be it a "yes, I know the feeling" or a"never thought of that" or a "you're a problem-creator, stop it".Regardss.

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[Guest guest]

I definitely recognize this feeling!! I keep Kashi trail mix bars on

hand and eat one, despite the intense emotion and feeling nauseated,

because I know being hungry makes me ornery and exacerbates the

situation. (Any of the HALT gang - Hungry Angry Lonely or Tired -

will make any situation worse.)

For me, that bar is eaten for " medicinal reasons " . I have it and

wait to see if that has the desired effect, like you would take a

headache remedy. After that bar, I know I have addressed the

biological hunger and can move on to what else is " eating me " .

I don't know if you have children, but I find the process is very

much like having a crying infant - and that is what I have inside

me! She is wailing with intense emotion and I try to address her

needs - is she hungry? is she cold? is she scared? is she hurt?

Only you will be able to soothe her in the right way!

>

> I can remember posting about this a while ago. IIRC I didn't get

much

> answer. Maybe I wasn't able to bring across my point but I'm

overwhelmed

> with emotions lately again and this has become a problem again.

>

> Does anyone else struggle with the problem of being physically

hungry

> but not really wanting to eat because you feel strong emotions at

this

> moment and eating would feel like reinforcing the

> coping-with-food-mechanism?

>

> Usually when I'm feeling really strong emotions I feel like I can't

eat.

> I have no appetite. However, the physical feeling is uncomfortable

> (headache, lightneadedness, growling stomach, clenched jaw, weird

taste

> in the mouth, slight nausea... you know these sensations).

>

> I don't know if I'm just creating a dilemma on purpose but this

question

> really gets to me (again):

>

> Do I reinforce the unwanted coping mechanism when eating while

> physically hungry but being overwhelmed with emotions?

>

> It simply doesn't feel " right " or " good " to eat then.

>

> I can remember dealing with this some months ago that I simply

didn't

> eat most of the time when being in this situation but drank a coffee

> with milk and sugar or a glass of juice or something to get rid of

the

> hunger symptoms while not eating but it didn't really work (no

wonder if

> one thinks about that a cup of coffee doesn't equal a meal).

>

> I'd appreciate any feedback, be it a " yes, I know the feeling " or a

> " never thought of that " or a " you're a problem-creator, stop it " .

>

> Regards

> s.

>

[Guest guest]

(See below for my comments) - Katcha

> Usually when I'm feeling really strong emotions I feel like I can't eat.

> I have no appetite. However, the physical feeling is uncomfortable

> (headache, lightneadedness, growling stomach, clenched jaw, weird taste

> in the mouth, slight nausea... you know these sensations).

IE is about re-tuning into your body's hunger signals. Headache,

lightheadedness, growling stomach etc. sounds like a horn blasting off

- FEED ME! Yet you think you MUST choose to IGNORE these so that you

will 'feel' better emotionally?!? (and really avoiding feeling the

EMOTIONS instead?) Perhaps you have the cart in front of the horse?

>

> I don't know if I'm just creating a dilemma on purpose but this question

> really gets to me (again):

I get the feeling you somehow enjoy the drama created by dilemma?

>

> Do I reinforce the unwanted coping mechanism when eating while

> physically hungry but being overwhelmed with emotions?

I don't get that impression - you are HUNGRY, eating is most

appropriate!! The emotions are separate from body hunger. You need to

deal with those as a separate issue. Maybe your confusion comes from

intertwining these?

>

> It simply doesn't feel " right " or " good " to eat then.

This sounds more like a 'head' thought than a 'gut' reaction.

> Regards

> s.

>

[Guest guest]

> Do I reinforce the unwanted coping mechanism when eating while

> physically hungry but being overwhelmed with emotions?

I don't think so...not if you're eating mindfully and intentionally

to respond to the wisdom of your hunger cues. An important part of

the IE journey is about rebuilding trust with our bodies. If my body

is sending me obvious hunger signals then I respond. I love the idea

of drinking something like Ensure...slowly...almost meditatively. I

usually have something simple like some juice or a piece of toast

when I just don't feel like eating, but I'm getting signals. I know

that my body can handle food then or it would not be sending me

signals. Like right now, I'm feeling a sense of rage against my

mother, who I've been having problems with and who's just walked

into my room and made a derogative comment towards me. I too am

living with a parent again...and by the grace of all that is

good...not for very much longer and never again. I see more clearly

how my relationship with her destablizes me at times and the urge to

eat when not hungry grows. I got my hunger signals about 20minutes

ago and now like you I'm going to have to work with this feeling in

my body along with honoring my hunger...my body needs energy.

> It simply doesn't feel " right " or " good " to eat then.

I don't think it's about " right " or " good " those are

mental/emotional judgments. Sometimes, I do wait a bit for intense

emotions to subside...like now. Before, I used to anger eat. That's

not necessary anymore because I know that if I allow them too...the

emotions will subside and I can find calm again...which is happening

as I write this. Though, if you're dealing with chronic

anxiety...I'd use something like the Ensure technique while finding

ways to let go and feel a sense of peace within my body through

meditation or talking with a friend or therapist. More and more,

I've become larger than my emotions and can experience my emotions

without them overwhelming me, which makes it easier for me to honor

my other body signals.

Latoya:)

[Guest guest]

Great response july! - Katcha

> >

> > I can remember posting about this a while ago. IIRC I didn't get

> much

> > answer. Maybe I wasn't able to bring across my point but I'm

> overwhelmed

> > with emotions lately again and this has become a problem again.

> >

> > Does anyone else struggle with the problem of being physically

> hungry

> > but not really wanting to eat because you feel strong emotions at

> this

> > moment and eating would feel like reinforcing the

> > coping-with-food-mechanism?

> >

> > Usually when I'm feeling really strong emotions I feel like I can't

> eat.

> > I have no appetite. However, the physical feeling is uncomfortable

> > (headache, lightneadedness, growling stomach, clenched jaw, weird

> taste

> > in the mouth, slight nausea... you know these sensations).

> >

> > I don't know if I'm just creating a dilemma on purpose but this

> question

> > really gets to me (again):

> >

> > Do I reinforce the unwanted coping mechanism when eating while

> > physically hungry but being overwhelmed with emotions?

> >

> > It simply doesn't feel " right " or " good " to eat then.

> >

> > I can remember dealing with this some months ago that I simply

> didn't

> > eat most of the time when being in this situation but drank a coffee

> > with milk and sugar or a glass of juice or something to get rid of

> the

> > hunger symptoms while not eating but it didn't really work (no

> wonder if

> > one thinks about that a cup of coffee doesn't equal a meal).

> >

> > I'd appreciate any feedback, be it a " yes, I know the feeling " or a

> > " never thought of that " or a " you're a problem-creator, stop it " .

> >

> > Regards

> > s.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

>Like right now, I'm feeling a sense of rage against my

> mother, who I've been having problems with and who's just walked

> into my room and made a derogative comment towards me. I too am

> living with a parent again...and by the grace of all that is

> good...not for very much longer and never again. I see more clearly

> how my relationship with her destablizes me at times and the urge to

> eat when not hungry grows.

Latoya, that must be SO difficult to deal with! Its a sad reality that

people can and do 'put down' others so that they can get a feeling of

'up'. Their issue, not yours, however in the case of this being mommie

dearest, all the previous 'parent/child' history dumps right on in.

Good for you to be aware of this happening and finding ways to react

so that you find a working solution for YOU. (my mother told me that

she would rather pay our rent than have me [ & hubby] live with them

[parents])

> Latoya:)

>

[Guest guest]

First of all you are completely valid in feeling your emotions. You

are not a problem creator. I am guessing that someone in your life

has told you that before. I know that sometimes when confiding my

emotions with people they have passed them off by saying I am too

sensitive.

If you have had this same experience allow yourself to feel all of

the emotions related to it. For years I passed off this experience as

nothing because I did not want to upset anyone... But I was very

angry. And only recently have I been able to realize that those

comments hurt my feelings, made me angry and I can not sacrifice

myself at the sake of not hurting others feelings.

Anyway from your post it seems like your current issues with food are

directly related to an issue you are having in your life. If this is

true it almost sounds like you are trying to control your life by

controlling what you eat and/or you are punishing yourself by

depriving your body of what it needs.

It seems that you are physically hungry while your mind is full.

Maybe you feel too pre-occupied with external life circumstances to

self - care?

I think you should feed your body when it is telling you its hungry.

But I completely agree that its difficult when you are overwhelmed by

intense emotions. I would suggest eating something that respects and

maximizes your body's potential. Like a garden salad, minestrone

soup, a fruit bowl... And take the time to care for yourself. Maybe

take a bath, go for a walk alone, get a massage...

Also I think it is great that you are so aware of your emotions.

I could be completely off with the above but hopefully it helps.

- K

> > >

> > > I can remember posting about this a while ago. IIRC I didn't

get

> > much

> > > answer. Maybe I wasn't able to bring across my point but I'm

> > overwhelmed

> > > with emotions lately again and this has become a problem again.

> > >

> > > Does anyone else struggle with the problem of being physically

> > hungry

> > > but not really wanting to eat because you feel strong emotions

at

> > this

> > > moment and eating would feel like reinforcing the

> > > coping-with-food-mechanism?

> > >

> > > Usually when I'm feeling really strong emotions I feel like I

can't

> > eat.

> > > I have no appetite. However, the physical feeling is

uncomfortable

> > > (headache, lightneadedness, growling stomach, clenched jaw,

weird

> > taste

> > > in the mouth, slight nausea... you know these sensations).

> > >

> > > I don't know if I'm just creating a dilemma on purpose but this

> > question

> > > really gets to me (again):

> > >

> > > Do I reinforce the unwanted coping mechanism when eating while

> > > physically hungry but being overwhelmed with emotions?

> > >

> > > It simply doesn't feel " right " or " good " to eat then.

> > >

> > > I can remember dealing with this some months ago that I simply

> > didn't

> > > eat most of the time when being in this situation but drank a

coffee

> > > with milk and sugar or a glass of juice or something to get rid

of

> > the

> > > hunger symptoms while not eating but it didn't really work (no

> > wonder if

> > > one thinks about that a cup of coffee doesn't equal a meal).

> > >

> > > I'd appreciate any feedback, be it a " yes, I know the feeling "

or a

> > > " never thought of that " or a " you're a problem-creator, stop

it " .

> > >

> > > Regards

> > > s.

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Styxia,

I totally get what you are saying! I eat when I am sad, lonely, depressed, happy, frustrated...but these are all comfortable emotions for me. The emotion that keeps me from eating is the excitement I get when I meet a really great guy (I'm single at 31) and feel like he has potential to be a boyfriend (which I never have). This emotion is very uncomfortable because I never experience it, and the situation has the potential to really change my life, so this is when I Can't Eat. I get so nervous and stressed out, and feel out of control of my future at that point that the thought of putting food in my stomach sounds ridicuous. I also tend to drink more alcohal when I feel this way, and tend to eat just enough to keep me from getting sick when I have a glass of wine.

Guys make me crazy!!

Bonnie

To: Intuitive Eating <IntuitiveEating_Support >Sent: Sunday, November 30, 2008 4:59:43 AMSubject: Eating While Overwhelmed With Emotions

I can remember posting about this a while ago. IIRC I didn't get muchanswer. Maybe I wasn't able to bring across my point but I'm overwhelmedwith emotions lately again and this has become a problem again.Does anyone else struggle with the problem of being physically hungrybut not really wanting to eat because you feel strong emotions at thismoment and eating would feel like reinforcing thecoping-with- food-mechanism?Usually when I'm feeling really strong emotions I feel like I can't eat.I have no appetite. However, the physical feeling is uncomfortable(headache, lightneadedness, growling stomach, clenched jaw, weird tastein the mouth, slight nausea... you know these sensations).I don't know if I'm just creating a dilemma on purpose but this questionreally gets to me (again): Do I reinforce the unwanted coping mechanism when eating whilephysically hungry but being overwhelmed with

emotions?It simply doesn't feel "right" or "good" to eat then.I can remember dealing with this some months ago that I simply didn'teat most of the time when being in this situation but drank a coffeewith milk and sugar or a glass of juice or something to get rid of thehunger symptoms while not eating but it didn't really work (no wonder ifone thinks about that a cup of coffee doesn't equal a meal).I'd appreciate any feedback, be it a "yes, I know the feeling" or a"never thought of that" or a "you're a problem-creator, stop it".Regardss.

[Guest guest]

Me again,

I wanted to add that the situations I talked about below are what I did before IE, and haven't had to deal with that type of feeling now that I am IE. When I do, I hope it will be different. I'll let you know when it happens!

Bonnie

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Sunday, November 30, 2008 10:48:44 AMSubject: Re: Eating While Overwhelmed With Emotions

Hi Styxia,

I totally get what you are saying! I eat when I am sad, lonely, depressed, happy, frustrated.. .but these are all comfortable emotions for me. The emotion that keeps me from eating is the excitement I get when I meet a really great guy (I'm single at 31) and feel like he has potential to be a boyfriend (which I never have). This emotion is very uncomfortable because I never experience it, and the situation has the potential to really change my life, so this is when I Can't Eat. I get so nervous and stressed out, and feel out of control of my future at that point that the thought of putting food in my stomach sounds ridicuous. I also tend to drink more alcohal when I feel this way, and tend to eat just enough to keep me from getting sick when I have a glass of wine.

Guys make me crazy!!

Bonnie

To: Intuitive Eating <IntuitiveEating_ Support@yahoogro ups.com>Sent: Sunday, November 30, 2008 4:59:43 AMSubject: [intuitiveEating_ Support] Eating While Overwhelmed With Emotions

I can remember posting about this a while ago. IIRC I didn't get muchanswer. Maybe I wasn't able to bring across my point but I'm overwhelmedwith emotions lately again and this has become a problem again.Does anyone else struggle with the problem of being physically hungrybut not really wanting to eat because you feel strong emotions at thismoment and eating would feel like reinforcing thecoping-with- food-mechanism?Usually when I'm feeling really strong emotions I feel like I can't eat.I have no appetite. However, the physical feeling is uncomfortable(headache, lightneadedness, growling stomach, clenched jaw, weird tastein the mouth, slight nausea... you know these sensations).I don't know if I'm just creating a dilemma on purpose but this questionreally gets to me (again): Do I reinforce the unwanted coping mechanism when eating whilephysically hungry but being overwhelmed with

emotions?It simply doesn't feel "right" or "good" to eat then.I can remember dealing with this some months ago that I simply didn'teat most of the time when being in this situation but drank a coffeewith milk and sugar or a glass of juice or something to get rid of thehunger symptoms while not eating but it didn't really work (no wonder ifone thinks about that a cup of coffee doesn't equal a meal).I'd appreciate any feedback, be it a "yes, I know the feeling" or a"never thought of that" or a "you're a problem-creator, stop it".Regardss.

[Guest guest]

Intuitive.Eater. In.Training

wrote:

> I totally get what you are saying! I eat when I am sad, lonely, depressed,

> happy, frustrated...but these are all comfortable emotions for me.

I can't eat when I'm really down or really excited (be it something good

or bad I'm excited about).

It seems like I can only stuff down feelings if they're not that

intense. Sounds a bit weird maybe.

Regards

s.

[Guest guest]

I found another basic go to food when I'm hungry and emotions have

been triggered. I came downstairs after posting this morning, still

feeling a bit angry, sad, and ill by the comment my mother made.

Before her interruption I had been planning to make a new dish I

created for breakfast called cheesy eggs and bacon on cinnamon raisin

bread with jam. Well, I wasn't in the mood to " cook " anymore and I

opened the cabinets and noticed some individual packets of flavored

oatmeal and my body was like ummm...yeah...that'll do the ticket. So,

now as a part of my dealing with emotions and need to honor my hunger

signals " food bag " is Ensure, juice, toast, and oatmeal. I'll be sure

to keep them on hand regularly.

I personally wouldn't wait more than an hour to respond to my hunger.

Optimally, it takes me about 15-20 minutes to take care of myself,

focus on my breathing, meditate, visualize, and let go in order to

shift my body out of an intense emotional state or at least decrease

it enough to be able to honor my hunger signals. I think that learning

ways to manage our emotions so that they don't prevent us from taking

care of ourselves is an important part of the journey.

Latoya

[Guest guest]

Bonnie and Kip,

I know that feeling too. I loved that feeling of intense

sweetness and excitement that caused me to lose my appetite. For me,

it was like being feed by the energy of the relationship...this has

only happened once for me in my early twenties. Coincidentally, I'm

also 31 and single and I really enjoy the openess and flexibility

that singlehood affords me.

Latoya:)

>

> Kip,

>

> Exactly!! I hate that feeling. Good thing it doesn't happen very

> often!

>

>

> Bonnie

[Guest guest]

Judi,

Sure, (This is a bit long )

I've been working intentionally with my body and my emotions for the

past 5 years or so. The body has natural mechanisms for calming down

after different forms of emotional stress...we've all experienced our

bodies gradually coming out of agitated states. As my body is calming

itself naturally, I noticed that I,like many other people, can re-

agitate myself by a negative thought about a situation or a person

when I don't allow myself to really feel what I'm feeling. For me,

stifling my feelings led to a need to have strict control over my

environment and myself to prevent the experience of negative emotions

because I really didn't know how to handle them. I had to learn that

it is ok to feel and to develop the capacity to tolerate more feelings

and intensity of feeling within my body.

So, if I want to work with (instead of against)the natural flow of my

body finding a sense of peace/equilibrium by experiencing the emotion

and letting the emotions transform naturally, there are a variety of

techniques that I've learned.

For example, this situation with my mom yesterday invoked rage. In the

past, I would hold the tears in and try to hold myself together by not

displaying any emotion. Now, I give attention to my breath and I sense

into an image that really speaks to what I'm feeling in the moment. My

intuition/felt sense provided an image of a raging river...I flowed

with that river for a while and then the image changes on it's own as

my body calms itself...and the river starts to slow. When I don't

align myself with the process of calming down...I find that those

thoughts creep in and re-agitate me...sometimes I let this happen.

Though now, I see my hunger signals as a priority that encourages me

to find a sense of calm within my body, even for a brief time, in

order to respond to my biological needs. I can always go back to being

upset, if I want too.

Alot of the images I use are directly related to my psychological

issues. Each of us can find images that help create a sense of peace,

well-being and support within ourselves. Similar to what Gail has been

sharing about her sweet wild child, for years I've visualized an image

of a child and hugged that child or kissed her on the forehead and

it's helped me feel better in different situations.

Oftentimes, I don't use traditional images in my visualizaton. I

learned this other technique by Levine, who's a psychologist and

more. Say, you're experiencing an emotion like anger, anxiety, or

helplessness, you can try to find a place in your body like your

finger or the tip of your nose where you don't feel that emotion.

Then, really feel the " negative " emotion AND the calm at the tip of

your nose at the same time... says to let the two feelings sort

of rest up against each other...and I've found that like he

indicates...my body shifts into a more calm state. It's sorta like

internal body therapy...you give your body a calm state you want to

feel...and the body finds it's way there. He also suggests remembering

a past situation/experience of calm/peace, let the feelings of calm

and peace well up in your body and then allow the feeling of the

negative emotion to come back...and again feel both set of feelings at

the same time...letting them rest against each other...and

again...I've found that this technique does help my body shift into a

more calm state.

The type and intensity of the emotion along with my intuition and felt

sense of what's going on determines what I do. With the rage I was

feeling yesterday, some type of physical movement like actually

punching something or going for a walk would have helped me process

through the emotions more quickly. Also, I've found that drinking

water helps. When I'm dehydrated, I feel like my emotions tend to

stagnate more. I kind of imagine that my emotions are pumping through

my blood stream and the water helps them circulate and flow out of me

more quickly. Like IE, you find whatever works for you! More and more

I've been able to work with my body's processes for calming instead of

against them.

Hope that makes sense.

Latoya:)

[Guest guest]

No, you aren't the only ones left! I'm single (divorced) and 41!

I think the acceptance that we come to with IE works well with

accpeting being single and that this is where I'm at. I hold onto

the fact that there is someone out there being prepared for me as I

am and growing and developing and being prepared for someone as

well. I may be 60 yrs old before I meet the love of my life, but I

believe he is out there. In the mean time, I'm having a love affair

with ME!

Alana

> >

> > Kip,

> >

> > Exactly!! I hate that feeling. Good thing it doesn't happen very

> > often!

> >

> >

> > Bonnie

>

[Guest guest]

"Usually when I'm feeling really strong emotions I feel like I can't eat.I have no appetite. However, the physical feeling is uncomfortable(headache, lightneadedness, growling stomach, clenched jaw, weird tastein the mouth, slight nausea... you know these sensations)."

I experience physical feelings like those described above, except I tend to eat to try to calm those feelings. That is a huge challenge I am facing right now in my life. How do I let myself feel what I feel, and not try to give the feelings food to make them go away? I mean, who wants to feel bad, right!? Anything to make them go away!

Subject: Re: Eating While Overwhelmed With EmotionsTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Wednesday, December 3, 2008, 12:07 AM

I have had this exact problem...while doing IE I really dreaded eating while overhwelmed emotionally because I couldn't enjoy my food. The food was just a numbing agent...not enjoyable.

I have used relaxation breathing in the past in order to get through the emotions. When I felt more centered, then I ate. I drank water to curb the growling stomach while I did the breathing or meditating.. .

I am glad you posed this question, because lately this has been an issue again and I need to get back into some technique for coping with my stress before I begin eating. Thanks!

I can remember posting about this a while ago. IIRC I didn't get muchanswer. Maybe I wasn't able to bring across my point but I'm overwhelmedwith emotions lately again and this has become a problem again.Does anyone else struggle with the problem of being physically hungrybut not really wanting to eat because you feel strong emotions at thismoment and eating would feel like reinforcing thecoping-with- food-mechanism?Usually when I'm feeling really strong emotions I feel like I can't eat.I have no appetite. However, the physical feeling is uncomfortable(headache, lightneadedness, growling stomach, clenched jaw, weird tastein the mouth, slight nausea... you know these sensations).I don't know if I'm just creating a dilemma on purpose but this questionreally gets to me (again): Do I reinforce the unwanted coping mechanism when eating whilephysically hungry but being overwhelmed

with emotions?It simply doesn't feel "right" or "good" to eat then.I can remember dealing with this some months ago that I simply didn'teat most of the time when being in this situation but drank a coffeewith milk and sugar or a glass of juice or something to get rid of thehunger symptoms while not eating but it didn't really work (no wonder ifone thinks about that a cup of coffee doesn't equal a meal).I'd appreciate any feedback, be it a "yes, I know the feeling" or a"never thought of that" or a "you're a problem-creator, stop it".Regardss.

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[Guest guest]

Judi,

Dealing with emotions with intention is unchartered waters for most of

us...so it can be a scary process...especially in the beginning. It's

similar to some aspects of IE, it's scary for people to give

up " dieting " , to " feel hunger " , and to make peace with food. My

intuition and paying attention to my body has been crucial in both

processes so that I take care of myself and don't overwhelm

myself...that I don't try to jump from point A to point G.

Let me think about some books and websites. I learned about Levine's

work when I was doing some research into dealing with trauma for a

school project. 's speciality is trauma and the healing of

trauma...his website is http://www.traumahealing.com. I went to the

site this morning to see if I would recommend it and found a really

cool excerpt of an article called Emotional First Aid. However, most

of the article, his book, Waking the Tiger, and his approach, Somatic

Experiencing, focuses on trauma prevention and resolution, though it

really does have broad applications in the area of dealing with

physiological states in the body. This dialogue is helping bring some

things into focus for me, so thank you. Give me a few days and I'll

let you know what comes to me.

Latoya