posting again..long one to start.

[Guest guest]

I haven't posted in a while. But I'm gonna start posting again to try to get intuitive eating back into the front of my brain...maybe then I'll start actually EATING INTUITIVELY.Some things.1. I eat because I'm lonely. I was doing great for most of this year because my husband was only working part time. So we were poor, but he was always around to help me with the kids and keep my company. Now, he's working full time and going to school full time and suddenly I'm eating all evening long! But at least I KNOW why I'm doing it. Now I just have to figure out something else to do when I'm lonely.

2. I also realized that sometimes I eat because I feel like I either have to be eating or sleeping or working. Not that I am any kind of workaholic. It's just that I give myself these guilt trips if things aren't getting done or if I feel like I'm kicking back too much. So, if I'm eating, I can't be working. Thus, I don't get a guilt trip from myself about not getting things done. I just get a guilt trip for eating when I'm not actually hungry. Not a very good swap.

3. I STILL catch myself telling myself that I " deserve " this food or treat for some great thing I did, for getting through a hard day, or whatever. I hate this. I'm don't know if this is true, but I sort of believe that if we reward ourselves with food, we also tend to punish ourselves with it (even unconsciously) and so I am fighting that big time. Of course I deserve food...just cause I'm a person and I must eat to survive.

4. Diet mentality is so EVIL. I haven't gotten caught up in it for a LONG time, but I heard about this " flat belly diet " and then I happened to see the book about it in a store. All I did was flip through it, read the table of contents, browse a couple of pages and now suddenly I'm all worried about my belly and if the things I'm eating are making it less flat than it could be and maybe I should go back on south beach because I think I lost belly fat on that and blah blah blah. I'm a bit self-conscious about my belly anyway, but I'm really irked at how strongly the whole diet book thing affected me after months of feeling diet mentality free. Like I said, just flipped through the flipping book. Argh.

That's all for now. I hope to post often for awhile...and hearing from you all would help me, too.Thank you.Ann