Re: Baby steps

[Guest guest]

The first 'hurdle' always looks 10 miles high, but the rest get

'shorter' as you get over each one. Good work just being aware. Being

able to deal with your emotions will come in time.

Gang in there

Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> Well, took a couple of baby steps forward (I think) today. I'm still

> eating like there's no tomorrow. The weight is piling back on and I'm

> struggling with my self-esteem because of it. Yet the last thing I

> want to do is diet again, so I keep plodding forward bit by bit.

>

> Today my accomplishment was to actually recognize some feelings as I

> ate. Just a little bit ago I was shoveling in some pop tarts

> (remember? the ones I " don't like " ?) and I was talking to myself. I

> realized, wow, I'm really angry. The way I was chewing/mutilating the

> food I could really feel my anger. I had done this off and on all day

> today. It didn't slow down or stop my eating, but I do know the

> feelings are there and I acknowledged them.

>

> The fact of the matter is, right now I just want to eat to deal with

> my feelings, especially at night. So I am. I know it will come, but

> man, this is HARD.

>

> dawnz

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for that perspective Katcha. Here's my question and something

I'm just not getting yet, how do I begin this? I mean I finally am

starting to acknowledge the feelings under the food, but then what? Is

it a matter of one day just trying to deal with the emotions? Did you

all just one day " dare " yourself to feel something instead of stuff

it? I'm feeling like I don't know what's next, and yet knowing that I

WANT to use food yet..I don't know how to break free of it maybe?

dawn

> >

> > Well, took a couple of baby steps forward (I think) today. I'm still

> > eating like there's no tomorrow. The weight is piling back on and I'm

> > struggling with my self-esteem because of it. Yet the last thing I

> > want to do is diet again, so I keep plodding forward bit by bit.

> >

> > Today my accomplishment was to actually recognize some feelings as I

> > ate. Just a little bit ago I was shoveling in some pop tarts

> > (remember? the ones I " don't like " ?) and I was talking to myself. I

> > realized, wow, I'm really angry. The way I was chewing/mutilating the

> > food I could really feel my anger. I had done this off and on all day

> > today. It didn't slow down or stop my eating, but I do know the

> > feelings are there and I acknowledged them.

> >

> > The fact of the matter is, right now I just want to eat to deal with

> > my feelings, especially at night. So I am. I know it will come, but

> > man, this is HARD.

> >

> > dawnz

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Dawnz,

Hope you don't mind if I throw my 2 cents in!

Once I realized I was eating to numb and ignore feelings, I took a very small step toward change. I sat with whatever feeling came up - even if it was only for 1 minute - and made a quick (or long) note about it in my journal. Then, if I still wanted to eat, I did. Or, if I didn't want to eat, I tried ANYTHING else to cope with whatever feeling was coming up. Some of my other coping methods were: writing, taking a bath, doing yard work, napping. If I used a different coping skill and still wanted to eat, well, I did!! Eventually the eating didn't work as well, but the other coping skills did!

I hope this helps. It's not an all or nothing process. You can feel the emotions for a little bit, and still choose to eat. Baby steps!!

Good luck!

Kim

IE since Aug 08

Subject: Re: Baby stepsTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Thursday, September 18, 2008, 11:41 PM

Thanks for that perspective Katcha. Here's my question and somethingI'm just not getting yet, how do I begin this? I mean I finally amstarting to acknowledge the feelings under the food, but then what? Isit a matter of one day just trying to deal with the emotions? Did youall just one day "dare" yourself to feel something instead of stuffit? I'm feeling like I don't know what's next, and yet knowing that IWANT to use food yet..I don't know how to break free of it maybe? dawn> >> > Well, took a couple of baby steps forward (I think) today. I'm still> > eating like there's no tomorrow. The weight is piling back on and I'm> > struggling with my self-esteem because of it. Yet the last thing I> > want to do is diet again, so I keep plodding forward bit by bit. > > > > Today my accomplishment was to actually recognize some feelings as I> > ate. Just a little bit ago I was shoveling in some pop tarts> > (remember? the ones I "don't like"?) and I was talking to myself. I> > realized, wow, I'm really angry. The way I was chewing/mutilating the> > food I could really feel my anger. I had done

this off and on all day> > today. It didn't slow down or stop my eating, but I do know the> > feelings are there and I acknowledged them. > > > > The fact of the matter is, right now I just want to eat to deal with> > my feelings, especially at night. So I am. I know it will come, but> > man, this is HARD. > > > > dawnz> >>

[Guest guest]

Kim,

This morning (even before I read this) I woke up and decided that

today I would try to just sit with my feelings, even for just a

minute. Then I came here and saw this. So maybe I AM on the right

track! I told myself, " what is the worst that can happen? " . And

truthfully the " worst " I could think of is that I won't be able to

handle the feeling just yet, and I'll eat. And since I'm already doing

that, it doesn't seem like the " worst " is going to be so very bad.

I will let you know how it goes. I don't think I'm to the point

(especially in the afternoons and evenings) where I can wait for my

hunger and feel my fullness. Not yet. I think I need to start by

feeling my feelings. Even if it's just for a moment.

That doesn't seem too scary or overwhelming. But I feel like it is a

positive start.

I'm sorry if I'm bouncing around on my feelings and " hogging " the

board. It helps me tremendously to come here and lay it all out. I've

never, ever done that and it's helping.

dawn

> > >

> > > Well, took a couple of baby steps forward (I think) today. I'm still

> > > eating like there's no tomorrow. The weight is piling back on

and I'm

> > > struggling with my self-esteem because of it. Yet the last thing I

> > > want to do is diet again, so I keep plodding forward bit by bit.

> > >

> > > Today my accomplishment was to actually recognize some feelings as I

> > > ate. Just a little bit ago I was shoveling in some pop tarts

> > > (remember? the ones I " don't like " ?) and I was talking to myself. I

> > > realized, wow, I'm really angry. The way I was

chewing/mutilating the

> > > food I could really feel my anger. I had done this off and on

all day

> > > today. It didn't slow down or stop my eating, but I do know the

> > > feelings are there and I acknowledged them.

> > >

> > > The fact of the matter is, right now I just want to eat to deal with

> > > my feelings, especially at night. So I am. I know it will come, but

> > > man, this is HARD.

> > >

> > > dawnz

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Dawnz,

I'm posting to this group in order to get and to receive support as well as to sort of document my progress. So, post, post, post! It's helpful to see where other people are in their process, what they are learning, they're questions/concerns, the small and big successes...

Learning to tolerate how we feel inside of our bodies is huge! I've been doing alot of work with emotions for the past 5 years or so. I've slowly learned to sit with my emotions and I also prevent the pattern of eating as a coping mechanisms by doing other things that I enjoy and that address the need that I have to help process and shift my more challenging emotions.

I have a ever growing list of things to do besides eat that are fun to me. Wacking a tennis ball, throwing a soft ball against a wall as hard as I can, punching the air or some thing are some ways that I've found to relieve anger. I sense what emotions are at work and "create" a complementary solution. I've offered myself expressive solutions besides food and my body has responded pretty well. Sometimes, I don't want to "do" any thing. So, the ability to just sit with your emotions, feel them, and recognize them is essential.

I can't emphasize enough how important regular movement is for helping me manage my challenging emotions, being able to tolerate them, and helping them shift. I don't know the physiology of emotions other than some stuff about the limbic system (I am going to look into that more now). It makes sense to me that as your heart rate increases and blood flow increases, your body state has to shift.

In July, I posted this passage:

I read a book some years back by Karla McLaren and she shared that the Latin root for the word emotion is "emovere" which means 'to move outward or onward.' Thinking about emotions in terms of movement has been very helpful to me. So, I've endeavored to help those emotions move through my system. I've learned that any sort of movement like breathing, dancing or walking has a balancing effect and helps me manage my emotions much better. I particular love doing the dance dance revolution game that I learned about on this group. I've also been experimenting with regular movement as a way to prevent emotions from building up in my body...so I've been walking, dancing, or doing step aerobics for at least 27 minutes every morning.

L

Practicing IE since Jan '08