Re: BPD Info...

[Guest guest]

Both my husband and daughter (27) have BPD. My husband passed away last

Feb.we would have been married 29 yrs. Now I am trying to cope with my

daughter.

She is not married and has a 22 month old baby girl. Until today, they both

lived with me. She moved in with her current boyfriend. I am reading " Stop

Walking on Eggshells " right now.

My main concern is for my wonderful grandaughter. I have done everything

imaginable to help my daughter financially, emotionally and I babysit 40 hrs.

a week.

(Never a thank you and I also work full time) and my daughter constantly

complains that I do absolutely NOTHING for her. I guess this is typical of

BPD.

Just wanted to vent!

Thanks, Pat

[Guest guest]

Hi Pat,

It certainly sounds as though you have a lot

on Your plate at the moment!!!

I'm sorry about Your husband's death, you

need some special time all for yourself now,

to grieve this loss, & to make sure that you

don't make yourself too ill over all of

this.

It's so hard being surrounded by so many

BPDs at times, isn't it? & for me, it's

turning out to be like a love-hate

relationship too, so I know how BPDs feel in

this respect. My son was so horrible a lot

of the times, & being a teenager as well,

doesn't help much either! Yet, I miss him so

much now that he's cut me out of his life.

All of this just makes me feel like I am

going crazy or something, do you know what I

mean?

I feel for you, & understand that you would

be concerned about your 22 month old baby

granddaughter, because, although BPDs (this

is only from my experience anyway) seem

quite capable of taking care of

things most of the time, there are times

when they just can't seem to cope with life,

& that's when things & the people in their

life gets neglected and/or abused, & it's

these things that we worry about especially

when there are children involved. Is her

current partner OK?

Is the book " Stop Walking on Eggshells "

helping you? It is heartbreaking when you

feel as though you have done everything

imaginable to help them, & they can't seem

to see things this way. I think we can all

understand what you are saying about this, &

never even recieving a thank you in return,

but it's almost like everything we've done

was wrong to them! It's because somehow

they feel that the whole world owes them

everything all of the time, & that they seem

to need caretakers in their life, only to

get angry & self defensive, telling you that

they're OK, & never needed any help anyway!!!

I think you're right when you said, that you

guess that this is just typical of BPDs!

It's so sad to just sit and watch all of

this, & to realise that you really don't

have much power to do anything more for

them, & then learning to let go! I mean,

for heaven's sake, I had my son & basically

watched him grow from a baby, then all of a

sudden, he hates me, & doesn't want anything

to do with me now, after 15 Years! Tell me

that this isn't a hard thing to do? So, I

can feel your pain, & know exactly how you

are feeling in that respect. Just sitting

back & watching all of this happening is

just too much to handle sometimes, that's

why we need each other for support, & we

need to start taking care of ourselves,

because I believe that we've been neglecting

ourselves for too long now! That's the best

thing that you can do for now, is look after

yourself! & if you find out that anything

is happening to your granddaughter as a

result of Abuse & /or Neglect report it to

the authorities, & continue reporting until

they take you seriously. At least they will

have to go & investigate the situation, &

then your daughter may start to see that she

needs some help in order to give her

daughter a life.

So, please take care of yourself, Especially

now, with all of this added drama in your

life at the moment.

Please feel free to vent your feelings any

time, that's what we're here for! (I think,

& I hope!!!???)

Thanks for that.

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