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Baby steps

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Well, took a couple of baby steps forward (I think) today. I'm still

eating like there's no tomorrow. The weight is piling back on and I'm

struggling with my self-esteem because of it. Yet the last thing I

want to do is diet again, so I keep plodding forward bit by bit.

Today my accomplishment was to actually recognize some feelings as I

ate. Just a little bit ago I was shoveling in some pop tarts

(remember? the ones I " don't like " ?) and I was talking to myself. I

realized, wow, I'm really angry. The way I was chewing/mutilating the

food I could really feel my anger. I had done this off and on all day

today. It didn't slow down or stop my eating, but I do know the

feelings are there and I acknowledged them.

The fact of the matter is, right now I just want to eat to deal with

my feelings, especially at night. So I am. I know it will come, but

man, this is HARD.

dawnz

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