New to the group

[Guest guest]

Greetings to everyone!

My name is and I was diagnosed with RA on Feb. 20, 2009. Isn't

interesting how we remember those life changing days...birthdays, weddings, RA

diagnosis.

I am on Simponi, Methotrexate injections, Plaquenil, Prednisone, and to kill the

pain...Tramadol.

I truly feel alone with this disease. Because each and every day, I watch my

life is slipping away because the fatigue is almost in complete control of my

life.

Tuesday nights are the worst...that is when I do my Methotrexate injections. It

isn't the physical act of the injection, it is what it represents.. a poison to

try and contain this disease.

But I am losing my ability to keep a busy life because of the fatigue. I went to

do one of the favorite things (traditional archery) and I could only shoot 3

rounds.

I used to cook, clean, and keep a wonderful and homey home, but now I am

struggling just to keep the laundry done once a week if at all possible.

I trying to do my hobbies- spinning, weaving, sewing, archery, and a few other

things.

Me and my hubby are working with Stanford University because he suffers from

Narcolepsy..another autoimmune disease. The doctors are in the beginning stages

of a hypothetis...some autoimmune disease are caused by blunt trauma force..such

as in the case of my husband and me. I fell twice and then in a matter of

weeks, I was having symptoms hardcore. So much to the point life stopped almost

immediately. The falls were in October and November 2008, the symptoms started

in December 2008, and then the diagnosis in Feb. 2009. There is no evidence of

arthritis of any form in my family.

This disease took my education, hobbies, energy, and most of my life away.

The real pain isn't in my joints, but in my children's faces. They are 14 and

7. The hardest part is when my daughter says- " mommy, I prayed to God last

night and I prayed for a cure for you, because I want you to play with me. "

Totally breaks my heart.

I do have a part-time job that I do from home and I still have problems there.

Again, the fatigue has a mind of own...when it takes over, I can't do my job and

I like my job.

I am mad, angry, frustrated, heart-broken, devistated, and my spirit is broken.

This new path in my life is hard to get used to because I have people telling

me-

" Go on a gluten-free diet and your symptoms will calm down. "

" No, go on a raw diet, and your RA will calm down. "

" You have to go processed-free foods diet. "

" Just exercise and it will keep the RA under control. "

" Apply tons of heat to your body and the RA will disapate. "

I have read so much stuff that my head is hurting to the point where I hate

reading anything new, because nothing is ever right or correct for any disease.

What works for you doesn't work for me.

I am in the process of applying for disability. I am waiting for an appointment

from the Social Security people to be checked by their doctors. This is my 2nd

go around with disability, the first time totally DENIED!

I think the RA is taking more of a toll on my family than me. I am more in pain

for them than myself, but I don't know what to do. I am trying to piece

together a life that works with the RA instead against it.