Re: Food Fears and Now What?

[Guest guest]

Like layers on an onion, it seems that every time I delve into 'what's

underneath' - I cry a little. I KNOW each time I peel an onion its

going to be an unfun task - but I also know that I enjoy the results -

a desire flavor/taste that comes at the price of watering eyes ;-)

I have to catch myself in 'auto shovel' mode at meals and at first it

was interesting, then a bother, next a chore and finally its SLOWLY

becoming a 'practice' (habit?!?). Hope you can find a way that suits

you too.

Best to you, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> I've been trying to be my own food sociologist. Watching and trying

not to

> judge and ask why?

> Why, if I love food so much is it so scary to eat slowly and savor

it and

> enjoy it? I zone out and snarf it down and need more.

> Why not slow down and taste it and enjoy it?

> Seems so reasonable. Why is this so hard?

>

> Possible reasons: scared of giving up the zoning out; scared of feeling

> what's underneath the need for zoning; scared of enjoying it and

having to

> stop when I'm full.

>

> Do you identify with this? What others reasons have you found?

>

> Once you know the reasons, then what?

>

> I thought the knowledge would set me free. But no, only now I know some

> reasons.

>

> What comes next?

>

> j.

>

[Guest guest]

Katcha is so right, it is like peeling an onion.

I am not sure if I will ever know all the reasons for my disordered

eating. But I know I have nothing to lose by challenging myself to be

an IE.

Personally I have found understanding myself and my motivations has

signifigantly helped in understanding my disordered eating. For

instance I now realize how my anxiety, OCD, caregiver tendencies,

passive aggressiveness, and desire for control and perfectionism have

been huge contributors.

All of these traits have been great for my professional and academic

life but horrible for others. ; )

I now know that I eat to control my anxiety. I binge to let out the

emotions I am too passive aggressive to admit to myself or others. I

could go on and on...

I am still figuring out the " now what " phase... But I think for me it

means caring for others as well as myself. And realizing caring for

myself often means doing things that are not quantifiable, such as

taking time to relax.

I hope that helps in some way.

- K

> > I've been trying to be my own food sociologist. Watching and

trying

> not to

> > judge and ask why?

> > Why, if I love food so much is it so scary to eat slowly and savor

> it and

> > enjoy it? I zone out and snarf it down and need more.

> > Why not slow down and taste it and enjoy it?

> > Seems so reasonable. Why is this so hard?

> >

> > Possible reasons: scared of giving up the zoning out; scared of

feeling

> > what's underneath the need for zoning; scared of enjoying it and

> having to

> > stop when I'm full.

> >

> > Do you identify with this? What others reasons have you found?

> >

> > Once you know the reasons, then what?

> >

> > I thought the knowledge would set me free. But no, only now I

know some

> > reasons.

> >

> > What comes next?

> >

> > j.

> >

>