My mother is coming and I'm feeling anxious

[Guest guest]

Ever since my mother notified me that she was coming I've been feeling

anxious. I just don't want to deal with her negativity or her

comments. I have been working so hard to feel better and have been

feeling like I'm slipping backward this week. Why do I let people do

this to me?

J.

[Guest guest]

Hi! I'm new to the program and new to the forum and the thought of

wasting one more minute obsessing over food makes me die a little on

the inside. Anyway, I can totally relate to what you're saying, but I

wonder if you might reframe your perceived backsliding. Rather than

beating yourself up, could you give yourself permission to feel anxious

about your mother's visit? And really feel it?

And when your mother arrives, could you meet her without any

expectations of what might happen? I often find if I go into

interactions with difficult people with an open heart and mind and stay

in the present moment, my experience far exceeds my negative

expectations.

Good luck to you!

>

> Ever since my mother notified me that she was coming I've been

feeling

> anxious. I just don't want to deal with her negativity or her

> comments. I have been working so hard to feel better and have been

> feeling like I'm slipping backward this week. Why do I let people do

> this to me?

>

> J.

>

[Guest guest]

You are right. I don't think I have slid backwards. I have been

feeling my anxiety. I have been trying to change my thoughts when

those negatives pop up. I try and say this will be a good visit and

we will have fun. We will go shopping, go for walks with the dogs

and have coffee. I have on several occasions this week pulled

several fun food items from the cupboard only to put them right

back. They just don't taste the same when I'm not hungry but rather

using them to numb me. I have posted a note (another member stated)

inside the fun food cupboard " am I really hungry or am I just trying

to change the way I feel? " and it's working.

Thanks,

J.

> >

> > Ever since my mother notified me that she was coming I've been

> feeling

> > anxious. I just don't want to deal with her negativity or her

> > comments. I have been working so hard to feel better and have

been

> > feeling like I'm slipping backward this week. Why do I let

people do

> > this to me?

> >

> > J.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

How wonder that you said that! I have just

been curled up reading the chapter on feelings in ’s R Koenig’s

book and came on here straight afterwards and read your message which related

to it beautifully. Learning to experience your feelings, acknowledging and

dealing with them is such a positive thing to do!

Good luck to the original poster and I

hope your mother’s visit goes okay for you. Do let us know.

Janey xx

Hi! I'm new to the program and new to the forum and

the thought of

wasting one more minute obsessing over food makes me die a little on

the inside. Anyway, I can totally relate to what you're saying, but I

wonder if you might reframe your perceived backsliding. Rather than

beating yourself up, could you give yourself permission to feel anxious

about your mother's visit? And really feel it?

And when your mother arrives, could you meet her without any

expectations of what might happen? I often find if I go into

interactions with difficult people with an open heart and mind and stay

in the present moment, my experience far exceeds my negative

expectations.

Good luck to you!

[Guest guest]

WOW that’s so fantastic! You’ve

noticed what’s going on and have considered other ways to handle your

emotions rather than heading for food you are not hungry for.

Very well done to you!! J

Janey xx

IE’ing since February 2007

You are right. I don't think I have slid backwards. I

have been

feeling my anxiety. I have been trying to change my thoughts when

those negatives pop up. I try and say this will be a good visit and

we will have fun. We will go shopping, go for walks with the dogs

and have coffee. I have on several occasions this week pulled

several fun food items from the cupboard only to put them right

back. They just don't taste the same when I'm not hungry but rather

using them to numb me. I have posted a note (another member stated)

inside the fun food cupboard " am I really hungry or am I just trying

to change the way I feel? " and it's working.

Thanks,

J.

[Guest guest]

I have to chime in and agree - You have not slid backwards, even if

you resort to overeating to cope while she is with you. You will be

doing so with more awareness, and (please) be gentle with yourself

during this time. Take a curious stance and be compassionate as

in " Wow, I'm eating a lot of this even though I am not hungry, I

wonder what about this situation is 'eating me'? "

It has happened to many of us here that we go back to the same

situation and something has changed. The SITUATION with our loved

ones hasn't changed - but WE HAVE. You may well find that instead of

being in the thick of things and being carried away by your emotions,

you are mentally removed from a lot of the hubbub. Even if the

behaviors haven't changed, you can see that the food is a

(maladaptive) coping skill, not a fatal flaw.

I won't wish you good luck, because that implies that you don't have

an active part in what happens, but instead say " Bonne Courage " as

they say in French, to hope that your courage will be strengthened

during this visit!

Bonne Courage!

> > >

> > > Ever since my mother notified me that she was coming I've been

> > feeling

> > > anxious. I just don't want to deal with her negativity or her

> > > comments. I have been working so hard to feel better and have

> been

> > > feeling like I'm slipping backward this week. Why do I let

> people do

> > > this to me?

> > >

> > > J.

> > >

> >

>