Mindful eating experiment by accident

October 29, 2008

I thought I was supposed to meet a friend for lunch today but I had

messed up on which day we were meeting. So I went to the

restaurant. I was really hungry when I got there. I ordered a

glass of water. The waitress brought me that basket of bread and

yummy olive oil to dip in. I ate a couple of slices of bread and

waited about 15 min and finally realized my friend wasn't coming. I

decided to go ahead and order. I normally take a book with me when

I go to any eating establishment by myself. Today I did not have a

book. I actually sat there and ate my lunch with no one and nothing

else to do. I did it! I normally find this extremely

uncomfortable. Lonely. I had to ignore voices in my head that were

telling me people were looking at me thinking certain things like

how the fat girl was by herself or commenting on what the fat girl

was eating. When I make myself think realistically and rationally I

realize that no one is probably looking at me and others are into

their own conversations at their tables and really how silly that is

to even be concerned with that. So what if people were looking at

me! It would be their problem and not mine if they thought anything

judgemental. I have to say it was hard for me to slow myself down.

I think I am so used to scarfing down my food. But by not doing

anything else but eat, I was forced to slow myself down. I have to

say that I got full rather quickly and on a relatively small amount

of food. So I ordered a take home box and took 1/2 of my lunch and

1/2 of the bread back to one of my co-workers. I was proud that I

got through this situation without feeling like the floor was going

to swallow me up. While it was uncomfortable and I don't want to do

this very often, I know I can eat by myself in a restaraunt without

a book and it might be a really good thing to do occassionally.

Just to check in with myself, to get myself to slow down and really

focus in on the food and to battle those voices in the head. A

positive experience I must say so.

Recommended Posts