Working on my issues...

[Guest guest]

I accidentally deleted the responses to my first post, so forgive me

for not answering to the specific people, but I appreciate the responses!

As far as the competitive problem, I think the issue might stem from

the competition I always felt with my sister growing up. We always had

to have exactly what the other person had, God forbid the other gets more!

Also, at times I would find myself judging how much I should eat by

looking at how much my husband ate, because I couldn't decide on my

own how much to eat.

Another question would be how do you deal with people who are less

than supportive of IE? I am having issues with my husband. For

example, Saturday we went to a Chinese restaurant for supper. We got

the pu-pu platter, and four entrees that we shared between me, my

husband, and our three kids. I was really trying to pay attention to

my hunger signals and also trying to choose things I wanted to eat. I

ate a few items off of the platter, including two pieces of the shrimp

toast (yummm) which is what I had been craving since my husband

proposed to idea of going to this restaurant earlier in the day. When

the entrees came, I took a little bit of each entree, but chose not

take any of the rice. I knew that I wasn't going to be able to eat

much, so I didn't want to waste any of the remaining space in my tummy

for something I didn't love. Well, he started nagging me about not

taking any rice, saying that it was part of the meal, and rice was

good for you, so I should eat some of it, even though I didn't like

it. So, I ended up giving in, and took a spoonful of rice, and ate it,

hating every bite of it. I hated how it made me feel, emotionally. I

suddenly felt like I did when my mom would make me sit at the table

and finish my milk, which I hated. (Funny thing about that is I think

my dislike for milk was my body trying to take care of itself, as I

later found out that I am lactose intolerant.)

Or on the weekends, we usually watch movies at home, and we will have

snacks, and if I don't want any because I'm not hungry, he gets

offended because he sees it as part of the experience, and by my

refusing I am not " participating " with the family activity.

I don't mean this to sound like he is a bad husband, because he is

not, it is just that we see food from a different perspective, and he

takes it personally if I refuse.

[Guest guest]

NO ONE, not even your beloved husband, has the right to tell you what

to put in your body. I say that you need to have a discussion with

him and tell him what you are trying to accomplish with IE. Tell him

he needs to be supportive, and he needs to realize that he does not

have the right to make you feel guilty for eating what you want or

for not eating what you don't want. Notice that I say TELL him as

opposed to ASK because these are your decisions to make and not his,

plain and simple.

You are a strong, independent woman, so stand up for your health and

well-being! In any situation, not just with your husband.

Good luck!

<3-----

>

> I accidentally deleted the responses to my first post, so forgive me

> for not answering to the specific people, but I appreciate the

responses!

> As far as the competitive problem, I think the issue might stem from

> the competition I always felt with my sister growing up. We always

had

> to have exactly what the other person had, God forbid the other

gets more!

> Also, at times I would find myself judging how much I should eat by

> looking at how much my husband ate, because I couldn't decide on my

> own how much to eat.

>

> Another question would be how do you deal with people who are less

> than supportive of IE? I am having issues with my husband. For

> example, Saturday we went to a Chinese restaurant for supper. We got

> the pu-pu platter, and four entrees that we shared between me, my

> husband, and our three kids. I was really trying to pay attention to

> my hunger signals and also trying to choose things I wanted to eat.

I

> ate a few items off of the platter, including two pieces of the

shrimp

> toast (yummm) which is what I had been craving since my husband

> proposed to idea of going to this restaurant earlier in the day.

When

> the entrees came, I took a little bit of each entree, but chose not

> take any of the rice. I knew that I wasn't going to be able to eat

> much, so I didn't want to waste any of the remaining space in my

tummy

> for something I didn't love. Well, he started nagging me about not

> taking any rice, saying that it was part of the meal, and rice was

> good for you, so I should eat some of it, even though I didn't like

> it. So, I ended up giving in, and took a spoonful of rice, and ate

it,

> hating every bite of it. I hated how it made me feel, emotionally. I

> suddenly felt like I did when my mom would make me sit at the table

> and finish my milk, which I hated. (Funny thing about that is I

think

> my dislike for milk was my body trying to take care of itself, as I

> later found out that I am lactose intolerant.)

> Or on the weekends, we usually watch movies at home, and we will

have

> snacks, and if I don't want any because I'm not hungry, he gets

> offended because he sees it as part of the experience, and by my

> refusing I am not " participating " with the family activity.

> I don't mean this to sound like he is a bad husband, because he is

> not, it is just that we see food from a different perspective, and

he

> takes it personally if I refuse.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I agree about the boundary setting, but while 'drawing a line' is in

order, demanding another to act a certain way is too much like diet

mentality for me. I know that such unrealistic expectations chaff me

and cause rebellion to rear up in a very ugly way. I hope that you can

find a calm but firm way to state your needs and also let others know

that you will not be tolerating being dictated to as that is not only

unloving its rude too. Loving support works best for ALL involved.

Katcha

IEing since March 2007

PS it also steams me when others think they have a right to 'help' me

by TELLING me what I SHOULD do. I've had to learn to not react in an

angry manner because that slams the doors shut on any/most

communication which could improve, not just 'stop' another's actions.

Doesn't work with all people, but can result in surprisingly good

results if tried.

> >

> > I accidentally deleted the responses to my first post, so forgive me

> > for not answering to the specific people, but I appreciate the

> responses!

> > As far as the competitive problem, I think the issue might stem from

> > the competition I always felt with my sister growing up. We always

> had

> > to have exactly what the other person had, God forbid the other

> gets more!

> > Also, at times I would find myself judging how much I should eat by

> > looking at how much my husband ate, because I couldn't decide on my

> > own how much to eat.

> >

> > Another question would be how do you deal with people who are less

> > than supportive of IE? I am having issues with my husband. For

> > example, Saturday we went to a Chinese restaurant for supper. We got

> > the pu-pu platter, and four entrees that we shared between me, my

> > husband, and our three kids. I was really trying to pay attention to

> > my hunger signals and also trying to choose things I wanted to eat.

> I

> > ate a few items off of the platter, including two pieces of the

> shrimp

> > toast (yummm) which is what I had been craving since my husband

> > proposed to idea of going to this restaurant earlier in the day.

> When

> > the entrees came, I took a little bit of each entree, but chose not

> > take any of the rice. I knew that I wasn't going to be able to eat

> > much, so I didn't want to waste any of the remaining space in my

> tummy

> > for something I didn't love. Well, he started nagging me about not

> > taking any rice, saying that it was part of the meal, and rice was

> > good for you, so I should eat some of it, even though I didn't like

> > it. So, I ended up giving in, and took a spoonful of rice, and ate

> it,

> > hating every bite of it. I hated how it made me feel, emotionally. I

> > suddenly felt like I did when my mom would make me sit at the table

> > and finish my milk, which I hated. (Funny thing about that is I

> think

> > my dislike for milk was my body trying to take care of itself, as I

> > later found out that I am lactose intolerant.)

> > Or on the weekends, we usually watch movies at home, and we will

> have

> > snacks, and if I don't want any because I'm not hungry, he gets

> > offended because he sees it as part of the experience, and by my

> > refusing I am not " participating " with the family activity.

> > I don't mean this to sound like he is a bad husband, because he is

> > not, it is just that we see food from a different perspective, and

> he

> > takes it personally if I refuse.

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you for your support. One of my goals right now is to BECOME a

strong, independent woman. I am people pleaser, and am always worried

about making everyone else happy. I need to start trying to make ME happy.

I just started a blog, and intend to chronicle my journey towards the

changes in my life I want to make.

> >

> > I accidentally deleted the responses to my first post, so forgive me

> > for not answering to the specific people, but I appreciate the

> responses!

> > As far as the competitive problem, I think the issue might stem from

> > the competition I always felt with my sister growing up. We always

> had

> > to have exactly what the other person had, God forbid the other

> gets more!

> > Also, at times I would find myself judging how much I should eat by

> > looking at how much my husband ate, because I couldn't decide on my

> > own how much to eat.

> >

> > Another question would be how do you deal with people who are less

> > than supportive of IE? I am having issues with my husband. For

> > example, Saturday we went to a Chinese restaurant for supper. We got

> > the pu-pu platter, and four entrees that we shared between me, my

> > husband, and our three kids. I was really trying to pay attention to

> > my hunger signals and also trying to choose things I wanted to eat.

> I

> > ate a few items off of the platter, including two pieces of the

> shrimp

> > toast (yummm) which is what I had been craving since my husband

> > proposed to idea of going to this restaurant earlier in the day.

> When

> > the entrees came, I took a little bit of each entree, but chose not

> > take any of the rice. I knew that I wasn't going to be able to eat

> > much, so I didn't want to waste any of the remaining space in my

> tummy

> > for something I didn't love. Well, he started nagging me about not

> > taking any rice, saying that it was part of the meal, and rice was

> > good for you, so I should eat some of it, even though I didn't like

> > it. So, I ended up giving in, and took a spoonful of rice, and ate

> it,

> > hating every bite of it. I hated how it made me feel, emotionally. I

> > suddenly felt like I did when my mom would make me sit at the table

> > and finish my milk, which I hated. (Funny thing about that is I

> think

> > my dislike for milk was my body trying to take care of itself, as I

> > later found out that I am lactose intolerant.)

> > Or on the weekends, we usually watch movies at home, and we will

> have

> > snacks, and if I don't want any because I'm not hungry, he gets

> > offended because he sees it as part of the experience, and by my

> > refusing I am not " participating " with the family activity.

> > I don't mean this to sound like he is a bad husband, because he is

> > not, it is just that we see food from a different perspective, and

> he

> > takes it personally if I refuse.

> >

> >

> >

>