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Tough night

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I'm new to Intuitive Eating and had actually been doing alright. Not

great, not horrible, but alright.

Then last night I really struggled.

Maybe it was because we went out for pizza and I felt like dh was

judging my eating. I honestly did fine at the restaurant, but it was

when we got home that all h*** broke loose. I ate and ate and ate.

My stomach started to hurt and still, I ate on.

I started feeling dizzy, but I continued shoving that food in my mouth.

Felt like a " last meal " mentality.

All for a little rebellion and panic at myself.

Last night I literally couldn't sleep, my stomach hurt so bad. I dozed

off and on, unable to get comfortable. Finally at 4am, I got up and

got a handful of TUMS. I ate 4, propped up the pillows, and dozed

again for a couple of hours.

This morning I still hurt. My stomach feels like there's a lead brick

in it and it hurts to move.

And yet, I learned something valuable.

I began in this morning, berating myself horribly. And then I stopped

and really thought about what I was saying. Nasty. And I determined to

change that inner voice to one of nurture. I soothed myself.

So a big ole' leap back, and a little step forward in the right direction.

Today I wait on myself and my cues.

This is NOT easy, but today I decide to be gentle with myself.

dawn

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