Re: Didn't even realize how angry I was

[Guest guest]

, you are so WELL into your IE journey. I am in awe of you and

very happy for you too. What a valuable lesson you have shared with

all of us - IE has been a liberator for you and many others too

ehugs and BEST wishes - Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> Hi J,

> Yes, you are right. That is what I have discovered too. After numbing

> my negative emotions all of my life, feeling my feelings was a brand

> new experience. Figuring out what to DO about them was even harder!

>

> The good news is that I also find that Intuitive Eating has given me

> much greater clarity of mind, as well as getting me in touch with an

> inner strength I never knew I had. I find that for the first time in

> my life I am sticking up for myself and not taking " crap " from

> anyone. Even on those rare occasions when I tried to fight for my own

> rights in the past, I was much more emotional which made me seem weak

> and people did not tend to take me seriously or respect me. Now I

> express myself with confidence and clarity in a firm but polite

> manner and I find EVERYONE is taking me seriously.

>

> For example, this week a hospice nurse came to meet with my husband

> and me and informed me that she would schedule 3 one hour visits by

> home health aides and one visit by a nurse to see my mother next

> week. I nodded in agreement. But today as I thought about it, I

> realized I had allowed her to dictate to me what kind of help I

> wanted! I don't even WANT visits from home health aides at this

> stage. I called her on the phone this afternoon and firmly but

> politely explained that I would very much welcome the nurse's visit

> next week, but at this stage, as much as I appreciate the offer, I do

> not want or need any visits by home health aides. She was very

> understanding, even a bit apologetic, and said the hospice program

> was there to help me in whatever way that would work best for me. She

> did not seem to have any problem with me cancelling the home health

> aide visits.

>

> I told my husband about it and I think he was a bit surprised by my

> new found assertiveness. In the past, I probably would have felt

> like " the victim " and put up with all the visits and having my

> space " invaded " even though I didn't want the services because I

> would have been too intimidated to say I did not want them. And I

> would have made my husband's life miserable by whining about it

> constantly. But those days are gone! No one but ME is going to tell

> me what I want or need! I have learned THAT from Intuitive Eating!

>

> These are major life lessons we are learning, J. Our inner wisdom and

> inner strength are slowly but surely being revealed to us. Sit tight

> and hang on. The answers will come.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Thank you so much for sharing that. It really gives me great hope as

I feel that I still put up with way too much from people and I don't

understand why. They are just people like me - they are no better.

I have come a long way in my IE journey and am feeling like a

different person, however, if I do not deal with this type of person

(usually type A personality) right away I think they think it's okay

to push me around and that I'm an easy target but it's not okay and

I'm not an easy target. I'm also angry at myself for not dealing

with it differently or right away as I have every opportunity to do

so. I know in the past when I stand up for myself I feel empowered.

My question is why can't I do that every time? I don't know what to

say to myself to get me to speak up as that's all it is.

Thanks ever so much,

J.

> >

> > I posted earlier this week about an absolutely retched person I

> worked

> > with. Thought I was doing okay with it. Thought the shift was

on

> mind

> > and in my thoughts more than I wanted it to be this week. Went

to

> get

> > a few chips tonight noticed the bag was almost gone - I don't

> remember

> > eating it or that much. I was wondering if I was hungry tonight,

I

> was

> > not, I put the bag away. It reminds me of an old, bad habit I

had

> for

> > many, many years; I used to chew the inside of my mouth, however,

> once

> > I started to realize I was doing it I stopped right away and

never

> > started it again, sometimes I'd tap my mouth once I realized I

was

> > doing it. I think this is the same with eating for anger - for

any

> > emotion, once I notice what I'm doing (and I'll have to pay close

> > attention) I'll have to stop and not go there. I can and have

> stopped

> > chewing my face; I can and I will stop eating for emotion.

Feeling

> > emotions is new, working through them is a little tougher.

> >

> > Thanks,

> > J.

> >

>