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I want to say thank you to all of you who are so brave to post and share about what we go through.... I have just really come to terms with how much of a caregiver I am and how perfect I have been making EVERYONE's life around me... and how angry it has made me.....

I did real well following IE for a few weeks and felt comfortable for a few days (yeah) then I gave (overeating for comfort) it a try and said "I can stop anytime" I over ate and found it DID transfer my bottled up feelings to the physical (overstuffed digusting) pain I caused myself--- OMG

Then Saturday night I finished off ALOT of cookies and then decided to fix it with too much oversteeped Laxative Tea.... How sick am I? I said I would never go back and do that stuff... Never, I really thought I had no reason to go back once I knew what it was.... And while getting ready for church Sunday Morning, I told my husband I needed to get help and face what I was going through... I told him what I was doing, right infront of him (sweet clueless husband) and continue to feel I would rather explode than share any negatvie feelings to "ruin his day" -- He is in school, he is in the middle of changing careers, he has the tough life.... so here I am eating myself into a dark depressed hole.

I go tonight to start some kind of solution in counseling.

Thank you all for letting me know - IT IS REAL, we are not crazy, we just all learned this behavior and now I need to find my way out of it....

Marjorie

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