going crazy!!!

[Guest guest]

Help!!!!!!! I am losing my mind!!!!!! I can't take it anymore!!!!!!

Whew, that felt good to get off my chest! I am having the hardest time with

this pregnancy. I am beginning to think I am not cut out for this crap as I

am feeling at my total wit's end.

The hormones are driving me nuts, and I don't mean emotionally. I am so

nauseous, although not vomiting. I am tired beyond belief and get dizzy if I

try to move too fast. The nausea is constantly present, just in varying

degrees. The only thing that quells it is anything of the cracker variety.

So, I am munching on cracker products all day long. As for energy, I can

barely get myself to work and back. I can't remember the last time I cooked

dinner or did dishes. And, our dust bunnies have dust bunnies!!! I can't

even remember what the setup at the gym looks like.

At the moment, I am 9 weeks pregnant and have gained 7 lbs. I am not sure

how good that is, but I don't feel so good about it. I had my RNY 7/98 and

started out at 271. I got down to about 189 before the holidays but then

went up to 203. Today I weighed in at 210. I am having a hard time

emotionally that I am gaining weight and growing out of my clothes. This is

compounded by the need to eat to quell the nausea. Also, I used to exercise

somewhat regularly and I can barely walk a block without needing a nap. At

least I won't have to go the full 40 weeks, at that point I feel like I would

be a baby Beluga!!!

Please forgive my whining, but, this is my first pregnancy and I am so

terrified of this. I feel like if it does not get better, I am going to end

up in a loony bin. You see, I also suffer from clinical depression, and,

when I was on the pill, I had no PMS, and in conjunction with my

antidepressants, I was a very happy, peppy person. Now I feel like a big,

fat, tired blob.

Well, that being said, I am going to skulk off into a corner and cry. And,

all DH does is laugh at me, he finds this incredibly funny, as I don't do

pain or illness well at all.

Thanks for listening.

Hugs,

Rita in NYC