Using Food...

[Guest guest]

For the past several days, I've found myself using food when I come

home from work. The good thing is that I know that I'm using. As I'm

doing it, in my head I think, " You're using food " , what's going on?

I was lying in bed and decided to get up and write about this on the

group as a way to process it. As I was lying in bed, I realized that

during these times I can also say to myself... " Food is not going to

make you feel better. " When I thought that thought, I started to cry

because I know that it's totally the truth. I'm going to start

saying in my mind, " You're using food and food is not going to make

you feel better " ...and really feel the truth of those two mantras.

The fact is that I'm feeling worn out when I come home from work.

The work that I'm doing right now isn't really true to my values and

seems to be taking more from me than I'm getting (namely some needed

cash flow). I feel so overwhelmingly mentally and

physically " exhausted " that I'm getting out of balance and using

food to soothe myself. I know that other things are probably

contributing too...such as the cold weather. I tend to eat more

warming foods when the temperature changes. I'm not drinking water

regularly like I did before I started this position. It's been cold

and rainy so doing my daily movement has been sporadic and I've

skipped some days. I don't have as much social interaction since

moving to this area...etc...etc...etc. I'm pretty clear about what's

going on.

This new phase/experience of myself while practicing IE is asking me

how can I better take care of myself during non-optimal times like

these? What priorities need to shift? How can I prevent myself from

feeling this exhausted to the point of using food? In the past, most

times when I've felt saddened by the state of my life or burdened,

I've used food or slept alot. Now, I have an opportunity to

transform/renegotiate this pattern with more awareness than I've had

in my entire life. This is the next challenge for me. Practicing the

IE principles when things are great or ok happens relatively

naturally. While honoring my hunger and fullness, moving daily, and

coping with my emotions without using food become much more

difficult in states like these.

Latoya

Practicing IE since Jan '08