In the quiet (reposted from my blog)...

[Guest guest]

I know I just posted, but I decided to go back and re-read all my

posts, maybe just to show myself truly how far I've come in the past

month.

And as I was reading and sitting here, something really struck me. I'm

not sure I can put it into words, but it's something that I think is

driving me to really conquer Intuitive Eating.

Peace.

Peace within myself, yes, but also peacefulness externally.

Let me see if I can explain.

A few weeks ago I wrote a post about how I had felt a blanket for the

first time in a long time. And how I paused my head long enough to

hear that crickets were chirping. It was truly peaceful.

And then as I sat here reading just now, I stilled my thoughts and

really listened to the quiet. Calm immediately washed over me.

It's THIS peace that I've been craving and trying to find with food.

It's not " numbing " that I'm chasing, it's peace. External and internal

peace.

It really hit me, that the chewing and the eating mindlessly and the

stuffing are actually doing the exact opposite of what I really crave.

I want peace and I have never felt it when eating to eat. I haven't.

When I'm in the quiet like now, and I shut off my heart and head, I

find it. There is an overwhelming peace. There are no demons, just

blessed quiet.

While my body is craving wonderful food fed to it when it is hungry,

what my heart is craving is peace.

I think I'm getting this. And I am going to seek this with everything

I have.