(No subject)

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/11/99 9:17:12 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

Idigflower@... writes:

<< When they were

done with me today I felt and looked like a million bucks and when I looked

in the mirror I cried, they asked me if I was O.K. and I said I YES! YES, I

am and THANK YOU! >>

Good for you hon you deserve it and have a great time.

Eunice

[Guest guest]

glad you feel better, never feel funny about admitting you feel good. We all

hope each other goes through a period of feeling terrific too. Enjoy it and

have a ball Everyone here will have their day in the sun feeling terrific .

That was great that you went out with just Pat (right) looking good goes a

long way is helping feel better. You deserve it you have been through a lot

Angie

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/12/99 12:17:06 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

Idigflower@... writes:

<< Have a Good couple of weeks!

Love,

P.S. on friday night I will turn off my mail for a week, so keep

me informed of any important info when I get back on the 22n >>

-Have a wonderful,peaceful vacation Janet and Pete

[Guest guest]

P,

Have a great fun trip and get plenty of R & R!!!! We'll miss you!!!!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

From: Idigflower@...

Hi all, I am leaving on Sat., Morning for Fla. so don't worry about me (lol)

and I do not have a lap top to talk and check up on my BEST friends So

please stay well !

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 08/17/1999 9:08:16 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

RTI2264@... writes:

<< Is it coming from the RP?

>>

Rene

it is possible to have circulation problems with the RP and my doctor has

sworn that both my SLE and RP have been flaring together for a while. Both

are triggered from pretty much the same thing

Angie

[Guest guest]

oh did you have fun today (friday)????

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 08/20/1999 10:27:24 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

Lu1953@... writes:

<< Do you think you and I need professional help ? LOL >>

Lu

I can't say for sure with you BUT.............

I know for sure YEP she does

[Guest guest]

I just had to send this poem my best friend sent me. She's so funny.

Margaret

>Where oh where has my little friend gone,

>Oh where oh where can she be?

>She's carrying a load

>And about to explode

>Oh where oh where can she be?

>

[Guest guest]

Stacie,

That's another interesting similarity I hadn't heard. Of course I'm biased,

but Abby is also a little charmer. Everyone at the hospital loves her-the

OT office, the NICU people, the ST comes by to see her during her OT visits

just to say " Hi " . They tell me she's their favorite kid. (Of course, they

probably say that to everyone-but her OT came to her birthday party and begs

me to let her baby sit). She also is very interested in music-especially

Sesame Street songs and women's voices like Barbara or Celine on TV. I

thought maybe that was because we have a slightly musical family in our

background but maybe its an RSS thing? I know its a Syndrome

thing.

Kathleen

(no subject)

>From: tclfam@...

>

>:

>

>Another similarity.... has the greatest personality too. He's so

>outgoing, friendly, and can charm the pants off of everyone!!!! We get

>so many compliments on , which makes our buttons pop. Everyone says

>that his personality will help him get through the bumps in life. I

>believe that to be true. He's so confident and loving. I could go on

>and on. One thing he is infactuated with is MUSIC! He loves it and

>loves to pretend he's playing an instrument (usually a horn, like the

>sax). The funny thing too, is that he loves to get attention and to

>make people laugh. We all say in our family that he's a future

>entertainer!

>

>Seems like a lot of these kids are this way. What cutie pies, huh!

>

>Stacie

> & 's Mommy

>

>P.S. By the way, is 3 and the hospital he was born in still

>remembers him and asks about him!!!!

>

>>

[Guest guest]

Mark,

is a doll! Just let me know if you need help with the pics or

making a folder. :)

Kathleen (Mom to Abby--15 mos, 12 lbs. 12 oz, 25 in., not officially

diagnosed RSS yet)

(no subject)

>From: Mdppdm@...

>

>Hi Everyone!

> I was looking at the pictures and managed to put one of

(although

>I created the folder wrong and will fix another day). What are kids lack in

>haight they sure make up in CUTE!!!

>

> Peace and Prayers

> Mark dad to 41/2, G-tube

>

>---------------------------

[Guest guest]

Dear Ann,

My heart goes out to you. I have a little grandson who is 3yo, he is such a

sweetie.

Yet, I know the affects that personality disorders have on children. Everyday I

look at him and say what will his future be like. We don't know when it comes

to mental illness.

Sometimes we don't know till their in their 20's. I have attended the NAMI

monthly meetings and found much support for families going through this.

www2.gdi.net/~namigo It must be so hard for you as a Grandmother. I know if he

were on medication and seeing a therapist things would be better for him and all

of you. Another thought maybe the family could attend a therapy session for

advice. This is such a tought situation for anyone. And, at this age I'm sure

you would like to enjoy life without the worries. I wish you all the best.

Katy

(no subject)

I am not a parent but a grandparent of an 18 year old who has been diagnosed

with BPD and bi-polar. He has been also diagnosed with ADDHD. He and his

mother lived with my husband and I from infancy until age 10 when his mother

married. He has never met his father. The stepfather was verbally abusive

to him. At 14, things got so bad, we (my daughter, my husband and I) decided

to put him in a residential treatment facility. Unfortunately, that didn't

work. He was there almost 3 years (far too long, I now believe). The only

thing he received out of those 3 years was a high school diploma. He came

home in May last year. The next day he burned his arms (third degree burns)

in the sign of a cross while drugging/drinking. After about a month, my

daughter threw him out - he was bringing friends and girls in the house while

she was at work. (She had divorced the stepfather while he was away.) He

broke in the house and stole some liquor, food and clothing. For about a

month he lived with some " drug dealers " so he said. He was arrested for

shoplifting in July. My daughter let him come home but things didn't work

out. She went for an order of protection. Things got worse and she had him

arrested and he was put in a psychiatric unit. After being released, he came

to my home. He has been in and out of here since late September. The last

time he left I told him he could not come back again. It is very difficult

for us as we are in our late 60's and retired. It is very hard to be strong

and let him go.

[Guest guest]

& gt;My daughter and I believe he must accept responsiblity for his own actions

and pay his own way. My heart does break for him though as he is soooo

lost. & lt;Diane, I certainly can understand what you are going through. My

daughter is 17 and we are legally responsible for her as well. It has been such

a struggle for me let go. I am certainly beginning to understand my own illness

as would be said in Al-Anon. Implementing the necessary behavioral changes on my

part has been extremely difficult. I have to look at the long term effects for

both my child and myself. I can understand that letting her suffer the

consequences of her own actions is likely to be the only way that she will begin

to understand the depth of her problems. Implementing that is extremely

difficult. She is making it easier and easier for me to do that with her

continued harassment of everyone in the family.It is too bad that the age of

majority in your area is 21. We are only responsible for our daughter until she

is 18. Were she to engage in illegal activity, I would certainly consider not

getting her a lawyer. If I don't have to hire an attorney for myself, I can't

see why I should have to hire one for her. Here it is possible to represent

oneself. Another alternative is to plead guilty.

Fortunately, our daughter has chosen not to get a driver's license, so that

limits her ability to cause others harm. She has not yet attempted to destroy

the property of other people to my knowledge. She is not violent except toward

herself. At least not yet.

If your grandson has been diagnosed as bi-polar and BPD, you might want to check

to see if there is any help from the local mental health agency. Here in CA,

there are public services available for those with a diagnosis that causes

impairment. My d has a case worker from Department of Social Services assigned.

This isn't much, but if she were to really beocme a threat, it would probably be

an avenue to get her into a more structured environment. Her case worker has

told her that she could consider assisted living. That would mean she would

have to become a ward of the state. I doubt she will want to persue that, tho it

may be an option for us if necessary.

_______________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi Ann,

We live the same scenario, although I am in the mother in my case. My

mother (the grandmother) keeps trying to pick up the pieces for C because I

now have no contact with her. When we did have contact she was extremely

verbally abusive and I was the target. My parents are older than you (92

and 88) so she knows that she cannot count on them for too much, although

she does " hint " from time to time that she could use money. My mother

talked about taking her in and I told her I would quit speaking to them if

they did. C would destroy my parents and I can't allow my mother to put

them in that position. (Guess where I learned my co-dependant behavior?) C

also has BPD, ADHD and bi-polar and refuses medications and/or therapy. I

helped her to apply for social security (all the while fighting with her to

" let " me do it) so she might have a steady income but she threw that away,

too, insisting that there is nothing wrong with her.

I know how difficult and painful this is for you. You love your grandson,

you watch him continually sabotage his well being, and your heart aches as

he self destructs. It is, indeed, horrible to see someone you care about so

much wreak such havoc in their life. I am not sure what I can offer you

except to encourage you to be strong, set your boundaries and stick to them.

If you can step back from the situation you will see that as painful as it

is, allowing him to suffer the consequences of his actions is the most

loving thing you can do for him. You will not always be here to bail him

out and he may just have to hit bottom before he is willing to take a good

look at himself and begin to take responsibility for himself. Or he may

never take responsibility for himself. Either way, you have to give him the

opportunity to figure that out on his own. You can't do it for him.

Be strong and know that you have lots of support here on this list. Take

care.

(no subject)

Hi

It's been a long time since I used this site - I still check everyday

though.

My grandson is with his mom at this time. She had an order of protection

for

over a year but she took him back when we threw him out. He has been living

with my daughter for about 6 months now. He is working, although since his

car is not running, I have to take him and pick him up. He is in trouble

with

the courts again. Last year for shoplifting (my daughter and I obtained an

attorney for him at that time) and paid his fine. Now he is being charged

with

harrassment and has an order of protection against him. He does not qualify

for a court appointed attorney as he is under 21 and my daughter is legally

responsible for him. He does not give her any money whatsoever and I have

paid

his car insuirance of approximately $5,000. plus giving him money to buy a

car

(which now does not work). He is becoming verbally abusive to his mother

(this

was the reason she obtained an order of protection in the first place) and

he

is using pot in the house. My daughter is threatening to throw him out and

he will have no where to go. My husband and I are in our late 60's and

cannot

handle him. I know the answer is to let him fall on his face but it is very

difficult. He has been diagnosed with ADHD, bi-polar and BPD. He will not

go

for therapy and/or take medication. My daughter and I believe he must

accept

responsiblity for his own actions and pay his own way. My heart does break

for him though as he is soooo lost.

Diane

[Guest guest]

do you make your own pecan butter or do you buy it? i haven't had luck finding any even in whole foods or other like stores. . .i usually only see cashew and almond butter.