new insights

[Guest guest]

This group/concept has really gotten me thinking. I have come to

realize that the diet mentality and using food to stuff emotions are

the reasons I struggle with my weight. After I had my baby, I

dropped 20 pounds in 6 weeks without dieting. When I went in for my

6 week check-up, I was so happy because I had the go ahead to

exercise and in my mind, start an " eating plan " to lose the rest of

the weight. I binged and started diets over and over for the past 14

months. I've tried several " plans " . Because I haven't restricted

calories, just " bad " foods, I thought I was getting fit responsibly.

The problem is, I've gained 15 pounds back that I lost and I still

have the 35-40 to go that I had after I delivered. This has all

happened with periods of several weeks on a program and a few weeks

off, eating like crazy. I feel so strongly that what's going on in

my head with food is the cause of the weight problem. I find myself

PACKING in food because I'm going to give up the " bad " stuff on

Monday. All that happens is I obsess over the foods I " shouldn't "

have and I ignore real cravings for veggies and fruits because those

are my " diet " foods and I can eat them any-time, while I'm

not " dieting " I should hurry and eat all the " bad, yummy " stuff I

can. There are times that I actually CRAVE veggies, fruits and

exercise and I stifle the feelings. I know this is crazy! I have to

change this and I've done it before. I just didn't realize it then.

I haven't read the Intuitive Eating book, buy I'm ordering it

tomorrow. I have to confess that I joined about 6 Weight-loss groups

at the same time as this one because I was so desperate to do

something! I will slowly wean myself from them, maybe cold turkey

even! I'll tell you what, the one that keeps e-mailing me people's

weight loss numbers and challenges with trying to eat perfectly every

day has to go because I have to straighten out my head. I can't

believe what a clear connection I can see in my past to my long-

lasting weight-loss and Intuitive eating! I'm so grateful that

you've put into words what I've felt, but didn't dare believe. I've

been asking myself how I could lose weight about three different

times by not dieting and keep it off for a couple of years until I

have gotten freaked out about food during my pregnancies. One of the

things that I did during those other times is to find something that

I was busy with and then I just lost my food obsession. Once I broke

my diet cycle/obsession, the weight came off. I was usually

exercising in some way even if one of the times it was dancing a

couple of times a week. That time it was a personal coaching thing I

did that had nothing to do with weight and was not even a great

program. It was supposed to be about relationships and taking on

your life, but turned out to be a little nutty. (You don't want to

know all the details! Let's just say they should have told me it was

about them taking OVER my life!) I was losing weight and calling it

the training/fast-food diet because I ate a lot of fast/restaurant

food. I was supprised that I was losing weight! Now if I can just

break through this cycle while being a stay home mom of four!

Jen