Emotions and Food by Annette Colby, PhD, RD

[Guest guest]

Emotions and Food

How did we get so afraid of feelings? After all, emotions, including

the so-called negative ones, are a natural part of being human.

Everyone experiences them - each and every day. Yet some people cope

with difficult emotions by repressing them. It becomes an automatic

habit to sweep unpleasant feelings under the rug and to stop

consciously noticing what the body is feeling.

Emotional eating can in part be the consequence of not allowing

feelings to flow naturally. Emotions themselves are felt in the

physical body. Notice how emotions can sometimes be felt as a knot

in the stomach, a gripping feeling in the chest area, a tightening

of the shoulders and neck, or perhaps a pounding tension in the

head. If an emotion becomes blocked and is unable to flow freely, it

gets trapped in the body. A natural response is to seek some way to

make ourselves feel better.

Eating, or starving, can serve as a temporary antidote to the

feelings of sadness, depression, hurt, anger, self-hate, guilt,

stress, boredom, and so on. For some, the act of not eating all day

serves to numb awareness of the physical body and emotions. Limiting

food intake can create a false sense of being 'in control' and can

lead to a feeling of calmness.

For others over-eating, binge eating, or bulimia work more

effectively to create a momentary solution. These behaviors can

briefly calm, distract, and sometimes divert attention away from the

original emotion. Food itself, especially carbohydrates, can release

powerful chemical and hormonal responses that create a sense of

temporary well-being. Any of these eating patterns can work by

reducing tension and anxiety, suppressing feelings you can't stand,

removing your attention from an uncomfortable situation, and so on.

Emotional Hostage

Holding down emotions is usually an attempt to protect ourselves

from feeling pain. It is coping strategy designed to keep us safe.

Somewhere along the line an unconscious decision was made to avoid

conflict, deny our feelings, and be strong by handling things

ourselves. Eventually, it became such a way of life, that there is

now fear associated with letting feelings flow.

Even though suppressing emotions was once an effective coping

mechanism, it comes with a price. Unfelt and unexpressed emotions do

not simply go away. It's actually the resistance to feeling emotions

when they arise that causes difficulty. As M. Kathleen Casey once

wrote, " Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. " Pain is

something we all experience. Suffering is caused when we attempt to

suppress the discomfort we feel.

Feeling isn't fatal. But it's tough to convince emotional eaters of

that. One of the greatest obstacles to working with emotions is fear

of the unknown and fear of the unexpected. When beginning to work

with emotions it is natural to feel afraid. Much effort was formerly

spent treating emotions as if they were deadly. As a result, all

that emotion has been locked up and kept under control. It's scary

to think what would happen if all those suppressed emotions were

release.

The process of opening up to hidden feelings often takes time. At

first, it may feel like a flood of emotion, but as the pressure of

unexpressed emotions releases, you will feel lighter. You will not

cry forever. The anger will not keep on exploding forever. The pain

will not go on forever. Learning to gently and compassionately be

with what you are feeling allows healing to occur.

Emotional Exploration Exercise

A.

Each day for a week write down the emotions you experience. You may

choose to write them down as you go through your day, last thing at

night, or first thing in the morning. Whatever suits you. Don't

justify or excuse or give reasons. Simply list them to get some idea

of how emotional your life actually is.

B.

The next week, repeat the exercise above (writing down your

emotions), but this time consider how you dealt with each of those

emotions. How does food (or the lack of food) seem to help? If the

end result wasn't so good for you, consider other ways that may be

appropriate expressions of those emotions.

Emotional Rescue

1.

The first question to ask yourself is " What am I feeling? "

Identifying emotions can be difficult if you habitually minimize or

deny what you feel. If you're not used to acknowledging your

feelings, the answer might well be, " I don't know. "

2.

There is always a cause for our feelings. The problem may be that

we've hidden our emotions from ourselves and others for so long. You

might try locating the specific area in your body where the emotion

is coming from. Check your head, shoulder, throat, chest, heart, or

stomach. Notice the areas that are and are not feeling the emotion.

3.

Try asking yourself, " What feelings am I not expressing? " If that

still draws a blank, then ask yourself, " If I knew what I was

feeling, what would it be? " Feelings are by their very nature

unclear, vague, and foggy. Allow yourself to be with what is still

unknown. A starting place might be to state, " I feel an

uncomfortable feeling in my (example) stomach area. "

4.

Decide which general category the 'uncomfortable' feeling falls

into. Is it sad, angry, or fearful? Once you have the category,

refine the description until you find the emotion or feeling that

most closely resonates with the feeling in your body.

5.

Having uncovered the emotions that had formerly been stored or

repressed, take a look at them. No need to analyze and criticize. No

need to judge yourself, blame yourself, or tell yourself that

you " shouldn't " feel that way. Only look at them objectively, and

tell them (the feelings) and tell yourself that it is okay to feel

this way.

6.

Remind yourself that what you resist, persists. Realize that no

matter how severe the emotions seem, feeling them is not dangerous.

Identify the feeling with your head, acknowledge them with your

heart, and let them flow through you.

7.

Let yourself feel your anger, your sadness, your fear. Really feel

it! Go ahead and cry, or beat your pillow . . . whatever you feel

you need (just don't hurt anyone). Feel them. Experience them.

Feeling them will allow space inside to feel other, more positive,

experiences.

8.

When you focus on a feeling, it may become larger and stronger.

This can be scary and we may think we can't stand it. If you begin

to get overwhelmed by the emotion, redirect your awareness. Notice

again the areas of your body that don't feel the emotion. Find some

distance from the place in your body where the emotion dwells.

9.

Remember to make the distinction that you are not your emotions.

You are a person having an experience. If you are currently

experiencing hopelessness, it is not the same as you - you are not

hopelessness. You are a person experiencing hopelessness because of

the thoughts you are thinking. Ask yourself, " What would I have to

be thinking in order to create a feeling of hopelessness? "

10.

If you feel like you will be bowled over with a flood of emotions,

find someone to work with. You do not need to cope with painful

feelings alone. A supportive friend, trained counselor, or nutrition

therapist can offer support, guidance, and a safe environment.

POSITIVE NOTES

I am now filled with faith, certainty, and confidence.

I now feel these emotions in my body.

Submitted by Annette Colby, PhD, RD

who can be reached by email at bodydr@...

or visited on the web at: http://www.power-nutrition.com/