Re: Some random thoughts...

[Guest guest]

Hi Dawn.

I can so identify with the weight watcher experience. Why eat fruits

and veggies when you can have 100 calorie packs until they are coming

out of your ears? Ugh.

I have only been doing IE since the beginning of July, but I read

your post and see someone making progress. Personally, I'm starting

to find that food that I wanted non stop in the beginning doesn't

call to me quite so loudly anymore. I started out eating Burger King

for lunch and M & M's as an afternoon snack almost every day just

because I felt for so long that I " shouldn't " or " couldn't " . Now I

bring a lunch from home and snacking on nuts and dark chocolate.

Some days I leave what I brought in favor of fast food or candy from

the vending machine, but it's not an every day thing anymore. I'm

also somewhat stunned to report I've had the same packages of Oreos

and chips in my cupboard for two weeks now. While dieting, those

would not have survived a weekend!

I think if you continue to work through the desire for things you

consider to be " bad " , you will be able to truly legalize them and

they will start to become just food. It might take longer than

comfortable to work your way through everything that was previously

off limits to you while dieting.

As for other pleasures in life, well, I struggle with that one too.

Food is always available, rain or shine, happy or sad, alone or with

friends. I think, like legalizing all foods, eventually you'll feel

drawn to other activities that give you the same payback and be able

to leagalize them as well.

Keep going - a break through doesn't look far away!

>

> I've been very much struggling with listening for my hunger lately.

I

> can't exactly place my finger on why, but while I was getting

dressed

> this morning, I had some random thoughts and I'd like to have you

> guys' feedback on them.

>

> Even though I am eating everything with abandon, I am thinking now

> that I truly haven't legalized all foods. Instead I realized this

> morning, that in some way I must still be treating IE as a diet.

When

> I was failing on Weight Watchers, each time it was because I didn't

> want to " waste " my points on " healthy " foods, so I would use them on

> " crap " . That set up a pattern in which I would go into a binge,

> thinking I was never going to get " enough " of the " bad " foods.

>

> I think I'm doing something similar with IE. I'm not wanting to

> " waste " my hunger on " good " foods, so I initially loaded up on " bad "

> foods which has sent me into a tailspin of binging. Rebelling maybe

> against " good " foods in my own head? Any thoughts on this? Has

anyone

> noticed and gotten through something similar?

>

> Also, I think I've fallen into the trap of thinking that food is the

> only pleasure in life. This is one I'm actively battling against

> because I can see exactly what has happened to my thinking over the

> last 25 years. I'm working very hard to recognize pleasure in other

> things in life, so that I have something to enjoy besides food. It's

> very much a struggle, but I am adding more items to my list each

day.

>

> Yesterday I went for a long walk and realized I get the

same " numbing "

> need filled by just being outside, alone, and walking. I had walked

> from point A to point B without ever really remembering it. So if I

> get the same catharsis from walking as I do from eating, why do I

> consistently choose eating? Habit? Do you think that maybe we might

> value food as our ONLY pleasure instead of seeing it as one of MANY

> pleasures?

>

> I'd love your thoughts on this...

>

> dawnz

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Jennie. I've been thinking and thinking about this today. I

wonder if I need to just keep plugging away at legalizing them. Maybe

really " allowing " myself to have them every time I'm hungry. I just

wish I knew right now, but I need to keep inching along.

dawnz

> >

> > I've been very much struggling with listening for my hunger lately.

> I

> > can't exactly place my finger on why, but while I was getting

> dressed

> > this morning, I had some random thoughts and I'd like to have you

> > guys' feedback on them.

> >

> > Even though I am eating everything with abandon, I am thinking now

> > that I truly haven't legalized all foods. Instead I realized this

> > morning, that in some way I must still be treating IE as a diet.

> When

> > I was failing on Weight Watchers, each time it was because I didn't

> > want to " waste " my points on " healthy " foods, so I would use them on

> > " crap " . That set up a pattern in which I would go into a binge,

> > thinking I was never going to get " enough " of the " bad " foods.

> >

> > I think I'm doing something similar with IE. I'm not wanting to

> > " waste " my hunger on " good " foods, so I initially loaded up on " bad "

> > foods which has sent me into a tailspin of binging. Rebelling maybe

> > against " good " foods in my own head? Any thoughts on this? Has

> anyone

> > noticed and gotten through something similar?

> >

> > Also, I think I've fallen into the trap of thinking that food is the

> > only pleasure in life. This is one I'm actively battling against

> > because I can see exactly what has happened to my thinking over the

> > last 25 years. I'm working very hard to recognize pleasure in other

> > things in life, so that I have something to enjoy besides food. It's

> > very much a struggle, but I am adding more items to my list each

> day.

> >

> > Yesterday I went for a long walk and realized I get the

> same " numbing "

> > need filled by just being outside, alone, and walking. I had walked

> > from point A to point B without ever really remembering it. So if I

> > get the same catharsis from walking as I do from eating, why do I

> > consistently choose eating? Habit? Do you think that maybe we might

> > value food as our ONLY pleasure instead of seeing it as one of MANY

> > pleasures?

> >

> > I'd love your thoughts on this...

> >

> > dawnz

> >

>

[Guest guest]

dawnz,

Yes! When I first started practicing IE, I realized that I really

didn't know what I really found pleasurable besides food. Other

pleasures can be more subtle and take longer to take effect...and

since I was very young, eating food has been a quick and immediate fix

that eliminated or numbed uncomfortable feelings. Food is one of the

first areas, if not the first area of our life where we experience

pleasure on a very visceral and instinctual level. I've studied

psychology extensively and I know that I have a huge oral fixation (in

Freudian terms).

I now see my IE journey as an evolution of my personal development.

Since childhood, I have been habitually relying on food to help

regulate my emotional and physiological states. Some kids may have

stumbled upon other physical activities that helped them feel better

like sports or being a delinquent/rebel. I was a quiet child, liked

school and reading books, and staying indoors. So, food was a natural

go to source of comfort. Now as an adult with a new awareness of

myself and my habits, I am prepared and able to create new more

balanced habits to take care of myself.

As an adult, I can delay gratification more. For example, I have found

that walking is a very pleasurable act for me...though it takes a bit

of time to feel it...usually about 15-20 minutes into a walk. In

contrast, I could eat a sugary snack and get instant numbing and

euphoria...although the crash would come later. I recognize and

accept that doing things to help myself besides eat may take longer to

take effect. So, I've also learned how to tolerate uncomfortable

feelings within my body while sitting with my feelings or as other

activities help me process through them.

The mainstream diet mentality distracts us from the true path of

personal development by putting the focus on external dictates about

food restriction and exercise. IE takes us deeper...asks us to really

discover what we personally love about eating and to develop respect

and a healing relationship with our body. Optimally, eat and enjoy

what you really want when you're hungry...figuring out what we really

love/like and want can be a part of the challenge.

Latoya

Practicing IE sine Jan '08

Do you think that maybe we might

> value food as our ONLY pleasure instead of seeing it as one of MANY

> pleasures?

> I'd love your thoughts on this...

> dawnz

[Guest guest]

Oh my gosh! You totally hit the nail on the head about not wanting to waste hunger on good foods! HA! It doesn't necessarily lead to a binge for me, but it totally is like a diet mentality thing. It is really hard to wrap my brain around the notion that all food is just...well, food. Foods are assigned, "good and bad" by society, and well, there are somethings that are healthier by nature, but that doesn't make them "better" or more "noble" to eat than others.I am also still experiencing guilt. Today, I had a cup of fries. As I was eating them I was literally sure that I GAINED like three pounds, even though all I ate was won ton soup earlier, and a salad to go along with the fries. (I was monitoring my

levels of fullness and I was fine). Looking back, only eating the fries and a salad is a victory because I wasn't gorged and full and back in the day I would have ordered and ate, the fries, the salad, the philly cheese steak sandwhich a big drink, slathered it all in ranch dressing and would have tried to eat a cookie or ice cream less than two hours later! Still, the guilt!Sorry for that tangent. But I totally agree with you! Some random thoughts...

I've been very much struggling with listening for my hunger lately. I

can't exactly place my finger on why, but while I was getting dressed

this morning, I had some random thoughts and I'd like to have you

guys' feedback on them.

Even though I am eating everything with abandon, I am thinking now

that I truly haven't legalized all foods. Instead I realized this

morning, that in some way I must still be treating IE as a diet. When

I was failing on Weight Watchers, each time it was because I didn't

want to "waste" my points on "healthy" foods, so I would use them on

"crap". That set up a pattern in which I would go into a binge,

thinking I was never going to get "enough" of the "bad" foods.

I think I'm doing something similar with IE. I'm not wanting to

"waste" my hunger on "good" foods, so I initially loaded up on "bad"

foods which has sent me into a tailspin of binging. Rebelling maybe

against "good" foods in my own head? Any thoughts on this? Has anyone

noticed and gotten through something similar?

Also, I think I've fallen into the trap of thinking that food is the

only pleasure in life. This is one I'm actively battling against

because I can see exactly what has happened to my thinking over the

last 25 years. I'm working very hard to recognize pleasure in other

things in life, so that I have something to enjoy besides food. It's

very much a struggle, but I am adding more items to my list each day.

Yesterday I went for a long walk and realized I get the same "numbing"

need filled by just being outside, alone, and walking. I had walked

from point A to point B without ever really remembering it. So if I

get the same catharsis from walking as I do from eating, why do I

consistently choose eating? Habit? Do you think that maybe we might

value food as our ONLY pleasure instead of seeing it as one of MANY

pleasures?

I'd love your thoughts on this...

dawnz