Phew! - warning, bloggity and long!

[Guest guest]

This post is primarily to get some of the anxiety I've been feeling

about the last three weeks off my chest. Read it at your own risk!

I work in Human Resources at a mid sized auto parts company that

paints car parts. As everyone knows, the auto industry stinks right

now - especially in Michigan. Last year we went from three shifts to

two shift. Then we went from five days a week with two 8 hour shifts

to four 10 hour days a week. Then we went to three 12 hour days a

week on both shifts. Three weeks ago we made the decision that we

had to cut another shift in our plant. My job became to take 20 of

the nicest, hardest working people I'd ever met (and 15 I was happy

to be rid of) and tell them they were laid off until another plant in

the company could use them. I spent a week arguing policy with two

managers who wanted to keep all of their people and lay off everyone

else (NO!) and then the next week having individual meetings with

those impacted to give them the news. I spent days being very sad

and cried with a few of the single moms. I spent days being really

annoyed at people who acted out, though I couldn't blame them. I

took half a bottle of Tylenol in a week. I did not go to the gym

once. I slept a lot and was grumpy to my husband. I ate full Burger

King meals for lunch four days in a row and hated the way I felt

afterwards. I also (TMI) was in PMS hyper drive during the last

week, which did not help at all.

It's over now, but the physical effects are still lingering. I feel

bloated and yucky. I haven't had a veggie that wasn't on a pizza or

burger in nearly a month. I went to the gym yesterday for the first

time and thought I'd have to stop after 15 minutes on the treadmill

when I used to be able to go for 45 and run part of it.

So last night I put my stake in the ground. Enough! It's time to

start taking care of myself again. I picked up the IE book and

started at page one. I signed up for a new knitting group in my

area. I haven't touched my knitting since my son was born nearly two

years ago and I miss doing it. I formulated a plan to get myself

through that high anxiety period between coming home from work and

before dinner when I'd eat the dog if he'd stand still. I packed my

gym clothes and committed to 30 minutes of movement after work. I

packed a lunch and told myself I didn't have to eat it if it's not

what I wanted. I reconnected with you all.

More important is what I did not do. I did not beat myself up for

the past three weeks. I did not weigh myself. I did not have diety

thoughts. That is a major victory.

So, that is my story for the last three weeks. Hopefully I won't

have any more gaps!

:-)