Re: Any past calorie counters out there?

[Guest guest]

Kathy wrote:

> Part of me says, " well, what do you expect when you eat whatever you want

> whenever you want it!? The pounds, of course, will come back!! Duh! "

> That voice is not so very kind.

Indeed. That voice isn't very kind. I just wonder WHY I went back to

overeating.

Regards

s.

[Guest guest]

It is hard for me to give up the

label that I am so familiar with

of being a failure...

It is NOT that I want to be but

it seems like it keeps replaying itself

over and over again.

I really am making an effort to be gentle with

myself and not critical about my IE choices/progress.

Please note I didnt say it was EASY......

or that I was GOOD at it...

in AZ

>

> > When I came back home, i was trying to honor my hunger, and was

horrified

> > that I was starving about every two hours, even though I had been

stuffing

> > myself the past three days. And still wanted sweets and white

bread. But

> > after a day of that, my appetite dropped way down.

>

> I made that experience, too. It horrified me. " Now that the exam is

> over, I STILL want to overeat?! Oh, no!! "

>

> It scared me. It has gotten less worse since a few days but it was

way

> better a year ago.

>

>

> > Just try to tune back in to your body, forgive yourself, remind

yourself

> > that however you eat, you keep on learning about yourself. and

just try to

> > focus today on listening to your body again.

>

> > This wasn't a failure, this was a learning experience!

>

> It feels so much like a failure, sigh. However, what is worse than

this

> " being a failure " feeling is the thought of " oh no, this is

happening

> all over again " . You know, these episodes of losing weight and then

> gaining and gaining and gaining and gaining... without being able to

> control the urge to JUST EAT.

>

> On days I notice a larger appetite or a strong drive to eat without

> being hungry throw me into a panic. It was not THAT bad while I was

> still losing weight (though still a very unpleasant feeling). But

now

> that I've gained it's horrible and scaring me. My health has

improved

> since I lost a bit of weight - I don't want to destroy that because

the

> eating starts again!

>

> I wonder how long it will take until these

> eating-more-than-is-good-for-me days won't scare me that much

anymore. A

> few months ago I was able to deal with a single day of overeating

and I

> could relax the day after when I noticed a smaller appetite again.

Even

> two days in a row was manageable but made me nervous. I hoped that

this

> would improve with time but what happened is that I took several

steps

> back. It's alarming to see how deeply ingrained eating/coping

patterns

> are and that " newer, healthier patterns " are wiped out within days

when

> the going gets tough. It makes me feel disappointed, scared and

weak.

> " Weak " seems to be the predomiant feeling lately when it comes to

using

> food as a coping mechanism. I can't help the thoughts: " Look at what

> you're doing (again)! Using food as a coping mechanism! Look at

other

> people. They don't have to do that! They're man/woman enough to get

> through hard times without having to stuff themselves and being

fat! "

>

> I envy these people and I feel shame and inferior because I need

(and

> obviously always needed and maybe will always need) FOOD to cope

with

> the hard things in life and everyone is able to see my weakness

(visible

> fat).

>

> This is really depressing and scary.

>

> Regards

> s.

>