Re: First 1.5 Months Ups and Downs

[Guest guest]

Hi Arnie,

Thanks for sharing this. The good news is that you have posted a LOT

more " Ups " than " Downs " . Hopefully seeing that in black and white

will inspire you as you continue your Intuitive Eating journey.

Don't beat yourself up about the snack food last night. (As someone

who struggles with perfectionism, I know that is a lot easier said

than done!) Even people who are natural intuitive eaters and have a

normal relationship with food will on occasion " live it up " and feel

the need to party it up once in a while. I think you made a wise

choice since you were starting to feel deprived. Be a Food

Anthropologist - just observe and learn and leave out the judgment!

(Again, easier said than done.)

I ate mostly junk (oops, sorry - fun food!) all weekend, kind of one

long binge. I was feeling very anxious and stressed about my respite

coming to an end last night. I could REALLY beat myself up over it,

but instead, I am looking at the big picture. I used to binge like

that about every 2 weeks. Now it happens maybe every 2 months. I call

that major progress.

When we want to measure our progress, sometimes it helps to look at

the BIG picture.

I wish you lots more " ups " on your journey! :-)

>

>

> Learning about Intuitive Eating has been a bit of a roller coaster

ride

> for me. My first 1.5 months has been a lot of emotional highs and

lows.

> Without this group I would have probably been quite confused, felt

like

> a failure and given up. But I get to read in this group about other

> people going through the same types of things and I know that this

is

> all part of a process.

>

>

>

> I haven't been posting much lately; I can just barely keep up with

> reading the posts. So I thought I'd share some of the " Ups and

> Downs " that I've been going through. The upside of IE has most

> certainly " out weighed " the downside. The downside has been

> based on fears and misperceptions. The upside has been based on

learning

> about myself.

>

>

>

> Downs

>

> * I'm getting bigger and it freaks me out. It makes me

depressed

> and makes my commitment to IE waver.

> * I still often continue to eat when I`m not hungry. It makes

me feel

> like I will never get this under control and will just continue to

get

> bigger.

> * Eating only when I was hungry and stopping when full started

> feeling like I was on a diet again. I had made it a rule. I missed

just

> eating for pleasure. Having some tasty snack food when watching my

> favourite television show, even when not hungry and ending up over-

full

> can be enjoyable. I started feeling deprived, so tonight I just did

it.

> I have a lot of mixed emotions around this that I haven't sorted out

> yet.

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Ups/Realizations

>

> * I realized that I really do need to eat what I really want

or I

> just keep eating because I don't feel satisfied.

> * I was at a picnic and realized that I really only wanted to

keep

> eating due to feeling uncomfortable in a social situation. Asking

> myself, " How do I want to feel when I leave here? " alleviated

> the cravings for food.

> * I love the freedom of Intuitive Eating.

> * Some things that I thought I would eat uncontrollable, I

simply

> don`t want that much anymore.

> * I've learnt a lot about myself by doing IE.

> * I'm learning to consciously be kinder to myself and cut

myself

> some slack. I don't need to do this perfectly.

> * I've learnt that a lot of my anxiety around food comes from

> unfounded fears of running out of food. This is a hangover from

dieting

> that I need to let go off.

> * When I first stopped weighing myself every morning it was

> difficult. Most days now I don't even think about the scale.

> * I love watching my own progress, I love reading about others

> progress.

>

>

>

>

> Arnie

>

> IEing since August 2008

>