Re: Re: Stuck

[Guest guest]

Nathalie Boisvert wrote:

> Hi Styxia, I can totally relate about the teenage brat. I too, have to

> quiet her voice. I too, would like to be very very thin, and I feel so

> vulnerable to the last diet trend, pills, whatever exercice gadget that

> would empty my wallet and clutter my house

Ugh, don't talk about that! All that money spent! But it only shows how

important a thin body was (and obviously still is) for us. Like a

terminally ill patient we're all too willing to listen to everyone,

providing us with a possible solution for our problem.

Regards

s.

[Guest guest]

I'm sorry I'm late with replies, but I guess all members who read my

posts frequently know why I'm late answering the posts.

Btw, I always love your posts. :-)

Katcha wrote:

> Wow Styxia - that is an excellent post! I sensed that you are digging

> to the heart of what you are feeling.

Yes, and it feels like sliding back to square one about every time this

happens. Of course this isn't true, but there is quite a lot going on

I'd like to change or I'd like not being the truth. Usually it takes

some time but finally I find the courage to talk about things (like

talking with a good friend about that major crush I had on a man last

fall; I still have a lot to deal with related to that, I can tell you).

> I know I related to a LOT of

> what you posted - self doubt and more questions than answers if very

> frustrating. And what do we do when we are upset and frustrated?!? -

> why want to EAT of course!!

Yes. And then the time consuming struggle of " facing feelings " and

" sitting with them " and usually finally losing anyway starts again.

> Then all the negative voices chime in and

> start their chants - You are so bad! You are a failure! You will never

> do this RIGHT! And worst yet - we BELIEVE them. Plus its so much

> easier and fun (for the moment at least) to defy 'them' and eat to

> spite them too. The problem in the end is that that the only one who

> is hurt is ourselves :(

Indeed. And worst of all: you KNOW all that and despite that knowledge

you continue toACT like the worst ignorant on earth. At least *I* feel

like an ignorant and idiot for doing so.

> Breaking this destructive pattern is difficult and even hard to see

> (for one's self) let alone change too.

Sometimes I think they're not that hard to see - but they're hard to

face. You know these " inner doors " you open and take a little glimpse

and then decide to slam that door shut as hard and fast as you can? And

all you want is to throw the key away for good and forget what you saw

but you know that your curiosity will finally bring you back to that

door? I hate that.

> Yet that is what I feel IE is

> enCOURAGing us to do - be our own guardian angel or hero, saving

> ourselves because we DO have merit and value - even if only for

> ourselves!

I definitely like that and I hope it's true.

> You are amazing - studying to be a doctor is not easy or even

> something most of us are capable of doing. You have a husband who I

> bet loves you lots too. I'm sure your dog loves being with you as

> well.

Thanks a lot. You know I don't feel amazing though, I think you can

imagine.

I think my two guys love me. The human and the furry one. Poor hubby

though. He has a grumpy hag as a wife right now (and he will continue to

suffer for two more months).

> I know I am glad to read your posts - you honestly and openly

> speak to real issues and that helps to remind me of my own (a blind

> spot I have too often).

Yes, I have a talent for that. Alas, people on mailing lists and online

boards usually tend to NOT appreciating that. Luckily there are

exceptions to that rule, too. :-)

> BEST wishes to you as you go about finding YOUR IE 'way'. I know you

> can and will too.

I hope so.

Regards

s.

[Guest guest]

jennie_4 wrote:

> And maybe the act of writing it out will help you find the answers

> you need.

That is what I hope for.

Regards

s.