Didn't even realize how angry I was

[Guest guest]

I posted earlier this week about an absolutely retched person I worked

with. Thought I was doing okay with it. Thought the shift was on mind

and in my thoughts more than I wanted it to be this week. Went to get

a few chips tonight noticed the bag was almost gone - I don't remember

eating it or that much. I was wondering if I was hungry tonight, I was

not, I put the bag away. It reminds me of an old, bad habit I had for

many, many years; I used to chew the inside of my mouth, however, once

I started to realize I was doing it I stopped right away and never

started it again, sometimes I'd tap my mouth once I realized I was

doing it. I think this is the same with eating for anger - for any

emotion, once I notice what I'm doing (and I'll have to pay close

attention) I'll have to stop and not go there. I can and have stopped

chewing my face; I can and I will stop eating for emotion. Feeling

emotions is new, working through them is a little tougher.

Thanks,

J.

[Guest guest]

Hi J,

Yes, you are right. That is what I have discovered too. After numbing

my negative emotions all of my life, feeling my feelings was a brand

new experience. Figuring out what to DO about them was even harder!

The good news is that I also find that Intuitive Eating has given me

much greater clarity of mind, as well as getting me in touch with an

inner strength I never knew I had. I find that for the first time in

my life I am sticking up for myself and not taking " crap " from

anyone. Even on those rare occasions when I tried to fight for my own

rights in the past, I was much more emotional which made me seem weak

and people did not tend to take me seriously or respect me. Now I

express myself with confidence and clarity in a firm but polite

manner and I find EVERYONE is taking me seriously.

For example, this week a hospice nurse came to meet with my husband

and me and informed me that she would schedule 3 one hour visits by

home health aides and one visit by a nurse to see my mother next

week. I nodded in agreement. But today as I thought about it, I

realized I had allowed her to dictate to me what kind of help I

wanted! I don't even WANT visits from home health aides at this

stage. I called her on the phone this afternoon and firmly but

politely explained that I would very much welcome the nurse's visit

next week, but at this stage, as much as I appreciate the offer, I do

not want or need any visits by home health aides. She was very

understanding, even a bit apologetic, and said the hospice program

was there to help me in whatever way that would work best for me. She

did not seem to have any problem with me cancelling the home health

aide visits.

I told my husband about it and I think he was a bit surprised by my

new found assertiveness. In the past, I probably would have felt

like " the victim " and put up with all the visits and having my

space " invaded " even though I didn't want the services because I

would have been too intimidated to say I did not want them. And I

would have made my husband's life miserable by whining about it

constantly. But those days are gone! No one but ME is going to tell

me what I want or need! I have learned THAT from Intuitive Eating!

These are major life lessons we are learning, J. Our inner wisdom and

inner strength are slowly but surely being revealed to us. Sit tight

and hang on. The answers will come.

>

> I posted earlier this week about an absolutely retched person I

worked

> with. Thought I was doing okay with it. Thought the shift was on

mind

> and in my thoughts more than I wanted it to be this week. Went to

get

> a few chips tonight noticed the bag was almost gone - I don't

remember

> eating it or that much. I was wondering if I was hungry tonight, I

was

> not, I put the bag away. It reminds me of an old, bad habit I had

for

> many, many years; I used to chew the inside of my mouth, however,

once

> I started to realize I was doing it I stopped right away and never

> started it again, sometimes I'd tap my mouth once I realized I was

> doing it. I think this is the same with eating for anger - for any

> emotion, once I notice what I'm doing (and I'll have to pay close

> attention) I'll have to stop and not go there. I can and have

stopped

> chewing my face; I can and I will stop eating for emotion. Feeling

> emotions is new, working through them is a little tougher.

>

> Thanks,

> J.

>