Re: It's my turn to vent some frustration too!

[Guest guest]

Well, I am not going to waste much more energy being angry, but I

know in my heart of hearts I didn't deserve this. I pray for him.

God knows everything and will do what needs to be done. I will not

have to do a thing.

As for counseling, " whooo - hooo!!!! " for that. I have a

psychiatrist that I dearly love, but he is back in West Virginia. I

still can talk to him whenever I want and I am looking for a new

counselor in this area. I am going to ask my docs at the Cleveland

Clinic on the 9th of January to recommend someone for me. Dealing

with a terminal illness practically demands that you have trained

intervention in the psychological aspect. I am prescribed anti-

depressants and take them religiously.

My husband and I had Kaleb together. But my girls are from a

previous marriage and he has one son from a previous marriage. All

of the " prevoius " children are grown and have not lived with us for

some time. We have been together, on and off, for 9 years. We were

divorced and even remarried! Crazy as it sounds, I should have seen

this coming, and probably did to some extent, but it still hurts.

Nonetheless, I will go on. I will surpass this turmoil as has been

done with many others. The good news is this will barely affect

Kaleb. Since we don't live there anymore, the divorce is actually

only paperwork if he chooses to proceed with that. My only worry is

that he have to continue to provide my health insurance. And even

that isn't that big of a deal. In May I will be eligible for

Medicare (my 2 year waiting period will be over at that time).

I appreciate being able to vent here and the words of encouragement

I receive. Thanks to everyone.

Tina

IPF/April 07/Ohio

> >

> > You know the old saying, " Be thankful. There's someone out

there

> > worse off than you. " Well, today it doesn't feel that way. I

> can't

> > fathom the thought of anyone being worse off than me (even

though I

> > know there are people out there who could tell me about those

that

> > are worse off than me).

> >

> > I've read alot of the recent posts and we all seem to have

gripes

> > about things. I try to be positive. I know I need to for Kaleb

> and

> > for myself too, but gee whiz!!!! Today was just abnormally hard.

> >

> > As many of you know, my husband is living in West Virginia, and

I

> am

> > living in Ohio with my mom and my son. I am here because this

DAMN

> > DISEASE has debilitated by strength so that I cannot care for

> myself

> > and Kaleb without assistance. I was having such a hard time

before

> > I finally asked for help and now things are just starting to

feel

> > comfortable, when out of the blue my husband tells me on the

phone

> > today that he's thinking about filing for divorce! I should

have

> > known it was coming. I can't blame him for being lonely and for

> > wanting to get on with his life. Long before I actually moved

to

> > Ohio, I had started to slowly stop being the wife he had

married.

> > Another contribution of this DAMN DISEASE! Anyway, I was a good

> > wife - no dammit - I was a great wife at one time, before this

DAMN

> > DISEASE took that away too. It just doesn't seem quite fair to

be

> > stripped of so much. Then again, my husband is being shallow

too.

> > Why in the world would he do this to me now - at this time in my

> > life. For goodness sake, he probably won't get through the

legal

> > process before I die anyway. We all know how lawyers are! I am

> > mad, mad, mad.

> >

> > Please, Lord, give me strength.

> >

> > Tina

> > IPF/April 07/Ohio

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Bruce. I hope you have read my replies on the Board. I am

so moved by your writings. I promise I will not turn into a " man "

hater. lol

Tina

IPF/April 07/Ohio

> >

> > You know the old saying, " Be thankful. There's someone out

there

> > worse off than you. " Well, today it doesn't feel that way. I

> can't

> > fathom the thought of anyone being worse off than me (even

though I

> > know there are people out there who could tell me about those

that

> > are worse off than me).

> >

> > I've read alot of the recent posts and we all seem to have

gripes

> > about things. I try to be positive. I know I need to for Kaleb

> and

> > for myself too, but gee whiz!!!! Today was just abnormally hard.

> >

> > As many of you know, my husband is living in West Virginia, and

I

> am

> > living in Ohio with my mom and my son. I am here because this

DAMN

> > DISEASE has debilitated by strength so that I cannot care for

> myself

> > and Kaleb without assistance. I was having such a hard time

before

> > I finally asked for help and now things are just starting to

feel

> > comfortable, when out of the blue my husband tells me on the

phone

> > today that he's thinking about filing for divorce! I should

have

> > known it was coming. I can't blame him for being lonely and for

> > wanting to get on with his life. Long before I actually moved

to

> > Ohio, I had started to slowly stop being the wife he had

married.

> > Another contribution of this DAMN DISEASE! Anyway, I was a good

> > wife - no dammit - I was a great wife at one time, before this

DAMN

> > DISEASE took that away too. It just doesn't seem quite fair to

be

> > stripped of so much. Then again, my husband is being shallow

too.

> > Why in the world would he do this to me now - at this time in my

> > life. For goodness sake, he probably won't get through the

legal

> > process before I die anyway. We all know how lawyers are! I am

> > mad, mad, mad.

> >

> > Please, Lord, give me strength.

> >

> > Tina

> > IPF/April 07/Ohio

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Tina....

Do you realize truly and give yourself credit for how strong you are?

Because I sure see it. You come vent and we're so glad you feel you

can. But then you remain together, but you don't lie to yourself and

pretend you don't still need to talk about it to us and your

counselor.

Kaleb is lucky. He's going to learn so many incredible life lessons

from you.

> > >

> > > You know the old saying, " Be thankful. There's someone out

> there

> > > worse off than you. " Well, today it doesn't feel that way. I

> > can't

> > > fathom the thought of anyone being worse off than me (even

> though I

> > > know there are people out there who could tell me about those

> that

> > > are worse off than me).

> > >

> > > I've read alot of the recent posts and we all seem to have

> gripes

> > > about things. I try to be positive. I know I need to for

Kaleb

> > and

> > > for myself too, but gee whiz!!!! Today was just abnormally

hard.

> > >

> > > As many of you know, my husband is living in West Virginia, and

> I

> > am

> > > living in Ohio with my mom and my son. I am here because this

> DAMN

> > > DISEASE has debilitated by strength so that I cannot care for

> > myself

> > > and Kaleb without assistance. I was having such a hard time

> before

> > > I finally asked for help and now things are just starting to

> feel

> > > comfortable, when out of the blue my husband tells me on the

> phone

> > > today that he's thinking about filing for divorce! I should

> have

> > > known it was coming. I can't blame him for being lonely and

for

> > > wanting to get on with his life. Long before I actually moved

> to

> > > Ohio, I had started to slowly stop being the wife he had

> married.

> > > Another contribution of this DAMN DISEASE! Anyway, I was a

good

> > > wife - no dammit - I was a great wife at one time, before this

> DAMN

> > > DISEASE took that away too. It just doesn't seem quite fair to

> be

> > > stripped of so much. Then again, my husband is being shallow

> too.

> > > Why in the world would he do this to me now - at this time in

my

> > > life. For goodness sake, he probably won't get through the

> legal

> > > process before I die anyway. We all know how lawyers are! I

am

> > > mad, mad, mad.

> > >

> > > Please, Lord, give me strength.

> > >

> > > Tina

> > > IPF/April 07/Ohio

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I don't see you as a hater period. I do see you as someone who's been

let down and is angry and has the right to be. I've been on all sides

and I've made more than my share of mistakes. I would understand if

my ex-wife hated me, but I'm glad we do still love each other just

not as husband and wife. Besides it makes for some interesting looks,

in places like ER, her there beside me, same last name, must be

husband and wife...oh, ex's.....but then people recover and say its

nice.

> > >

> > > You know the old saying, " Be thankful. There's someone out

> there

> > > worse off than you. " Well, today it doesn't feel that way. I

> > can't

> > > fathom the thought of anyone being worse off than me (even

> though I

> > > know there are people out there who could tell me about those

> that

> > > are worse off than me).

> > >

> > > I've read alot of the recent posts and we all seem to have

> gripes

> > > about things. I try to be positive. I know I need to for

Kaleb

> > and

> > > for myself too, but gee whiz!!!! Today was just abnormally

hard.

> > >

> > > As many of you know, my husband is living in West Virginia, and

> I

> > am

> > > living in Ohio with my mom and my son. I am here because this

> DAMN

> > > DISEASE has debilitated by strength so that I cannot care for

> > myself

> > > and Kaleb without assistance. I was having such a hard time

> before

> > > I finally asked for help and now things are just starting to

> feel

> > > comfortable, when out of the blue my husband tells me on the

> phone

> > > today that he's thinking about filing for divorce! I should

> have

> > > known it was coming. I can't blame him for being lonely and

for

> > > wanting to get on with his life. Long before I actually moved

> to

> > > Ohio, I had started to slowly stop being the wife he had

> married.

> > > Another contribution of this DAMN DISEASE! Anyway, I was a

good

> > > wife - no dammit - I was a great wife at one time, before this

> DAMN

> > > DISEASE took that away too. It just doesn't seem quite fair to

> be

> > > stripped of so much. Then again, my husband is being shallow

> too.

> > > Why in the world would he do this to me now - at this time in

my

> > > life. For goodness sake, he probably won't get through the

> legal

> > > process before I die anyway. We all know how lawyers are! I

am

> > > mad, mad, mad.

> > >

> > > Please, Lord, give me strength.

> > >

> > > Tina

> > > IPF/April 07/Ohio

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Bruce: Thank you. Yes, I do realize I am strong. I need to be. I

have to be and I will. That's my motto - well that and, " ...'cuz

I'm a woman...!! " Coined from the ditty, " I can bring home the

bacon....fry it up in a pan.... " . Lol. We need laughter.

Tina

IPF/April 07/Ohio

> > > >

> > > > You know the old saying, " Be thankful. There's someone out

> > there

> > > > worse off than you. " Well, today it doesn't feel that way.

I

> > > can't

> > > > fathom the thought of anyone being worse off than me (even

> > though I

> > > > know there are people out there who could tell me about

those

> > that

> > > > are worse off than me).

> > > >

> > > > I've read alot of the recent posts and we all seem to have

> > gripes

> > > > about things. I try to be positive. I know I need to for

> Kaleb

> > > and

> > > > for myself too, but gee whiz!!!! Today was just abnormally

> hard.

> > > >

> > > > As many of you know, my husband is living in West Virginia,

and

> > I

> > > am

> > > > living in Ohio with my mom and my son. I am here because

this

> > DAMN

> > > > DISEASE has debilitated by strength so that I cannot care

for

> > > myself

> > > > and Kaleb without assistance. I was having such a hard time

> > before

> > > > I finally asked for help and now things are just starting to

> > feel

> > > > comfortable, when out of the blue my husband tells me on the

> > phone

> > > > today that he's thinking about filing for divorce! I should

> > have

> > > > known it was coming. I can't blame him for being lonely and

> for

> > > > wanting to get on with his life. Long before I actually

moved

> > to

> > > > Ohio, I had started to slowly stop being the wife he had

> > married.

> > > > Another contribution of this DAMN DISEASE! Anyway, I was a

> good

> > > > wife - no dammit - I was a great wife at one time, before

this

> > DAMN

> > > > DISEASE took that away too. It just doesn't seem quite fair

to

> > be

> > > > stripped of so much. Then again, my husband is being

shallow

> > too.

> > > > Why in the world would he do this to me now - at this time

in

> my

> > > > life. For goodness sake, he probably won't get through the

> > legal

> > > > process before I die anyway. We all know how lawyers are!

I

> am

> > > > mad, mad, mad.

> > > >

> > > > Please, Lord, give me strength.

> > > >

> > > > Tina

> > > > IPF/April 07/Ohio

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

My first husband and I are like that. We still exchange Christmas

gifts and hugs and have shared more than one timy crying on each

other's shoulder. He lives in land and my daughter, Devynn, is

very close to him. We have never, ever had an arguement. Not while

we were married, not since the divorce. We were meant to be

friends, we just weren't meant to marry one another.

Tina

IPF/April 07/Ohio

> > > >

> > > > You know the old saying, " Be thankful. There's someone out

> > there

> > > > worse off than you. " Well, today it doesn't feel that way.

I

> > > can't

> > > > fathom the thought of anyone being worse off than me (even

> > though I

> > > > know there are people out there who could tell me about

those

> > that

> > > > are worse off than me).

> > > >

> > > > I've read alot of the recent posts and we all seem to have

> > gripes

> > > > about things. I try to be positive. I know I need to for

> Kaleb

> > > and

> > > > for myself too, but gee whiz!!!! Today was just abnormally

> hard.

> > > >

> > > > As many of you know, my husband is living in West Virginia,

and

> > I

> > > am

> > > > living in Ohio with my mom and my son. I am here because

this

> > DAMN

> > > > DISEASE has debilitated by strength so that I cannot care

for

> > > myself

> > > > and Kaleb without assistance. I was having such a hard time

> > before

> > > > I finally asked for help and now things are just starting to

> > feel

> > > > comfortable, when out of the blue my husband tells me on the

> > phone

> > > > today that he's thinking about filing for divorce! I should

> > have

> > > > known it was coming. I can't blame him for being lonely and

> for

> > > > wanting to get on with his life. Long before I actually

moved

> > to

> > > > Ohio, I had started to slowly stop being the wife he had

> > married.

> > > > Another contribution of this DAMN DISEASE! Anyway, I was a

> good

> > > > wife - no dammit - I was a great wife at one time, before

this

> > DAMN

> > > > DISEASE took that away too. It just doesn't seem quite fair

to

> > be

> > > > stripped of so much. Then again, my husband is being

shallow

> > too.

> > > > Why in the world would he do this to me now - at this time

in

> my

> > > > life. For goodness sake, he probably won't get through the

> > legal

> > > > process before I die anyway. We all know how lawyers are!

I

> am

> > > > mad, mad, mad.

> > > >

> > > > Please, Lord, give me strength.

> > > >

> > > > Tina

> > > > IPF/April 07/Ohio

> > > >

> > >

> >

>