Re: Melting Pot

[Guest guest]

,You just made an excellent point that I had overlooked. Our children are all individual although they are on the Spectrum. So in some cases I can see where you would want to let them know ahead so they are ready. the Autism Friendly Restaurant Idea 'sounds good' but in essence depending on the child any restaurant can be unfriendly as the different sensory stimuli are all around - so good point and thanks for making me think today... I have a hard time doing that on Mondays ! E. , Sr. Please go and comment to vote & Let others know ASAP to do the

samehttp://www.change.org/ideas/view/accept_and_sign_the_autism_reform_act_of_2009 E. , Sr. Founder The Office of Advocacy for Autistic ChildrenThis electronic mail message and any attached files contain information intended for the exclusive use of the individual or entity to whom it is addressed and may contain information that is proprietary, privileged, confidential and/or exempt from disclosure under the Electronic Communications Privacy Act, (18 U.S.C. §§ 2510-2521.) To: sList Sent: Monday, December 15, 2008 4:50:15 AMSubject: Melting Pot

I have had many incidents such as this one through the years in regards to taking my son, Blake, out in public places. When they happen, (even to this day), I always feel extremely sad, so I know exactly how you feel. However, the sadness aside, I try to use each and every one of these experiences as an opportunity to raise awareness about autism and the behaviors associated with it. I am sure that you and your

family were in shock when this happened. But if I had been there, I

would have asked the manager which families were complaining. Then, I

would have politely approached them to explain my son's issues. Then I

would have finished my meal (for free) and left. I know that is a bit

radical, but I just can't let something like that go. I probably would

have said something like this: I am very sorry that my son, who has

autism, has disturbed your family. I see that you have a lovely family,

and want to tell you how lucky you are. Unfortunately, dealing with

autism is very difficult. Again I am very sorry that we disturbed you."

Then I would have given them one of the autism cards. Actually, I have done

this so many times.

Back in 1999, an incident such as the one that you and your family experienced, led my husband and I to start sending out special cards to help our children cue the lines at public places. Another card was then developed that explains the behaviors that our children often exhibit in public places. We still send these cards out to families. Eventually, we began to have special get-togethers in my backyard which then led to community outings. This way, our families have had opportunities to go out in public without the possibility of being scrutinized and also to allow our children to be themselves.

Developing a list of autism-friendly restaurants is difficult as many managers would not be prone to be understanding if their other patrons were being disturbed. They would be too worried that they would lose their "good" customers, if you know what I mean. What I do think would be beneficial would be if you decided to take your child to a place that you are worried about going to, call in advance to see if there will be any problems if your son speaks a little louder than most people. Tell them that your child has autism and has a tendency to speak a little loud at times. Tell them that he doesn't yell or scream or run around, but just speaks loudly. If that is going to be a problem, then pick a different place. Over the years, you will begin to compile your own list of restaurants that work for you and your family and those that do not. There is no doubt that meeting the needs of your child will be the priority if you want to have a nice experience.

Herskowitz

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[Guest guest]

What and valerie are saying about any resturant can be unfriendly is so true. SO, both of you made me think. Our children can have a melt down in any resturant, at any time ,for any reason.

So much for a list. When we go to fridays with Josh, we always sit in the front room He has had melt downs in the back. We don't go back there any longer. We ALL do what we need to do. Everyone have a happy Holiday and a healthy new year.

Marla

Melting Pot

I have had many incidents such as this one through the years in regards to taking my son, Blake, out in public places. When they happen, (even to this day), I always feel extremely sad, so I know exactly how you feel. However, the sadness aside, I try to use each and every one of these experiences as an opportunity to raise awareness about autism and the behaviors associated with it. I am sure that you and your family were in shock when this happened. But if I had been there, I would have asked the manager which families were complaining. Then, I would have politely approached them to explain my son's issues. Then I would have finished my meal (for free) and left. I know that is a bit radical, but I just can't let something like that go. I probably would have said something like this: I am very sorry that my son, who has autism, has disturbed your family. I see that you have a lovely family, and want to tell you how lucky you are. Unfortunately, dealing with autism is very difficult. Again I am very sorry that we disturbed you." Then I would have given them one of the autism cards. Actually, I have done this so many times. Back in 1999, an incident such as the one that you and your family experienced, led my husband and I to start sending out special cards to help our children cue the lines at public places. Another card was then developed that explains the behaviors that our children often exhibit in public places. We still send these cards out to families. Eventually, we began to have special get-togethers in my backyard which then led to community outings. This way, our families have had opportunities to go out in public without the possibility of being scrutinized and also to allow our children to be themselves.Developing a list of autism-friendly restaurants is difficult as many managers would not be prone to be understanding if their other patrons were being disturbed. They would be too worried that they would lose their "good" customers, if you know what I mean. What I do think would be beneficial would be if you decided to take your child to a place that you are worried about going to, call in advance to see if there will be any problems if your son speaks a little louder than most people. Tell them that your child has autism and has a tendency to speak a little loud at times. Tell them that he doesn't yell or scream or run around, but just speaks loudly. If that is going to be a problem, then pick a different place. Over the years, you will begin to compile your own list of restaurants that work for you and your family and those that do not. There is no doubt that meeting the needs of your child will be the priority if you want to have a nice experience. Herskowitz

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