NF2 Looking in the Mirror and Liking It - Wounds

August 11, 2001

NF2 Looking in the Mirror and Liking It is a book I hope to have printed up

someday. It is still in the process of being written. This chapter will be

the final chapter of the book when completed.

WOUNDS

Many of us with NF2 become emotionally scarred from the condition. It

takes away our self-confidence and self-esteem. In the older days (1970)

when I was 17 years old preparing for my 1st brain surgery I was wide awake

as an intern took the electric shaver and shaved my entire head. With each

stroke I felt I was be raped of my self-esteem and woman-hood. After that

job was completed the intern then took a barber's razor and sharpened it on

the leather strap dangling from the table on which I was laying. This is

just one example of the demoralization we endure. There are tests that are

torturous. While all this is happening we suffer conditions that force us to

use canes, walkers and/or wheelchairs. We encompass many wounds with which

to live, both physically and emotionally.

Time is a great healer I believe. My heart and my emotions have endured

many healings. And with each healing my emotions, self-esteem, womanhood has

grown stronger and deeper. It is as if the old wounds have birthed strength

and toughness to bear the next wound that comes my way.

Four years later I experienced the complete head-shaving again because of

tumor regrowth. Only this time the shaving didn't rob my self-esteem and

woman-hood. From this surgery the right side of my face was completely

paralyzed. The hearing in my right ear was completely deafened. No doctor

or nurse gave me a clue this could happen. No forewarning! My eye was

later sewn shut at the right corner to protect it.

At first, I couldn't look into the mirror after my third surgery (1974)

because of the droopiness I saw. But as I healed over the years, with God's

abounding support and love, I can look into the mirror and like it today. My

face is still the same but I know God sees me as one of His beautiful

children. I know the love in my heart seeps through my being. I believe we

all our beautiful through God's eyes.

So when you look into the mirror, if it is a difficult task for you to

bear, please use God's eyes to see your unique beauty.

God bless,

Jane Dittner

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