Re: Restaurant issues-the Melting Pot

[Guest guest]

Hello .. I think I might know you from somewhere..not sure <w>.

I think your final statement is the strongest one. We are a

community..whether we are in FL., Maine, TX, Ca. or out in the

Hawaiian Islands we are all a community of people with an

understanding that most outside of it do not understand. I think you

should take him to where he wants to go...but with this knowledge be

prepared to hand them some informative literature on Autism Spectrum

Disorders. Maybe you can get a comp'd dinner too. Maybe the

Manager/and owner need a phone call - what city is this in ? I think

they should comp dinners for all parents and children with ASD's for

what they did to Stacey. They could always opt for the worst case

scenario for them - a US Dept. of Justice investigation into

discrimination based on disability. I don't think they would enjoy

that... it's about as fun as having a barium enema done daily !!

Excuse that comment.. but I think they should understand that they are

stepping into boiling oil with asking disabled people to leave their

restaurant based on manifestations of their disability - a clear

federal violation that is punishable not only by fines but by

imprisonment. I know that sounds intense for this.. but as I quoted

earlier.. look what happened to Denny's when they asked just 1 table

of Individuals that appeared to be African American (they could have

been from figi for all they knew but were called 'blacks') to leave

because they were being disruptive.. they were talking about how good

the food was !!! That cost Denny's their reputation for quite some

time and also they had to put up a public apology in 100's of

restaurants across the nation. An ADA Title 1 or 3 complaint could

also be filed on this. But, as we must.. try to resolve it with

knowledge in a positive way..

E. , Sr. The office of Advocacy for Autistic Children

> > We have been to sit-down restaurants with our 7-year old son who has

> > autism hundreds of times. Like other families we make modifications to

> > be considerate of other diners such as eating out at slower times,

> > eating quickly, leaving or walking outside the restaurant if we our

> > son seems overwhelmed. Generally, in the last four years, we have made

> > things work.

> >

> > We recently had a strange experience at the Melting Pot restaurant on

> > Federal Highway in which the restaurant manager told us we were

> > causing a disturbance and offered to comp our dinner to " hurry us

> > along " and get us to leave the restaurant.

> >

> > On Saturday, December 13, we decided to celebrate a family birthday by

> > eating out at the Melting Pot. We had eaten there before with no

> > problems. To accommodate the needs of our 7-year old son who had

> > autism we made a reservation for an early time at 5:30 pm when the

> > restaurant would be slower. We asked for an end booth so that we would

> > be near fewer people. We brought snacks and activities for our son to

> > keep him occupied during the wait.

> >

> > During the dinner, our son drank and ate and toward the end of the

> > entrée was vocalizing (not screaming, squealing, yelling, running) at

> > conversational level. We were shocked when the manager, Bob Hopkins,

> > approached us in the middle of our meal, offering to " comp " our dinner

> > if we could hurry it along as we were disturbing other diners. Though

> > we tried to explain to him that our child has a disability, he

> > persisted. At no point did the manager make any other offer to change

> > our seating or alternatively resolve the situation. He thought that

> > offering to pay us off was acceptable for asking us to evict the

> > restaurant. We note that at least one-third of the tables had

> > typically developing children at them. We also note that as we left,

> > our server apologized for the experience and noted that we could have

> > been seated in a back room which would have addressed any perceived

> > " disturbance issue. "

> >

> > We would love for Autism Speaks to develop a rating or symbol

> > identification system that could identify restaurant chains that have

> > personnel who are aware, well-informed and can provide a reasonable

> > level of service and accommodation.

> >

> > Perhaps this list might serve a purpose by identifying

> > restaurants/chains where families have had good experiences.

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Thru the years we have come across many kinds of people in resturants, malls and in store changing areas.This one really gets me angry. How dare he. We don't need autism speaks to make a list for us.Does anyone know if it Is legal for us to make our own Fl. List of autism friendly resturants?

Marla

Re: Restaurant issues-the Melting Pot

Ughhh.... this just boils my blood. We are not to be segregated in aback room. Our children have every right to be there and be included.If the noise our children is making at a reasonable level, they haveno right to ask us to leave or even to move to another table. Ifanother table is complaining the manager should offer them the chanceto move to another table or back room, or encourage them to hurry upand leave. Now if my son has a meltdown, I will ask them to hold thetable while we go outside, to the car or another room to regaincomposure and then finish the meal, but if my son is just beinghimself, there is no reason to ask us to leave.We do fondue at home and my son has asked to go to the Melting Pot andwe were thinking of going, but after this, I do not think so. But italso makes me want to go into the same exact restaurant with my son,who has some of the same behaviors to let them know you are not alone.On Sat, Dec 13, 2008 at 9:16 PM, Stacey Coulter <staceyconova (DOT) edu> wrote:> We have been to sit-down restaurants with our 7-year old son who has> autism hundreds of times. Like other families we make modifications to> be considerate of other diners such as eating out at slower times,> eating quickly, leaving or walking outside the restaurant if we our> son seems overwhelmed. Generally, in the last four years, we have made> things work.>> We recently had a strange experience at the Melting Pot restaurant on> Federal Highway in which the restaurant manager told us we were> causing a disturbance and offered to comp our dinner to "hurry us> along" and get us to leave the restaurant.>> On Saturday, December 13, we decided to celebrate a family birthday by> eating out at the Melting Pot. We had eaten there before with no> problems. To accommodate the needs of our 7-year old son who had> autism we made a reservation for an early time at 5:30 pm when the> restaurant would be slower. We asked for an end booth so that we would> be near fewer people. We brought snacks and activities for our son to> keep him occupied during the wait.>> During the dinner, our son drank and ate and toward the end of the> entrée was vocalizing (not screaming, squealing, yelling, running) at> conversational level. We were shocked when the manager, Bob Hopkins,> approached us in the middle of our meal, offering to "comp" our dinner> if we could hurry it along as we were disturbing other diners. Though> we tried to explain to him that our child has a disability, he> persisted. At no point did the manager make any other offer to change> our seating or alternatively resolve the situation. He thought that> offering to pay us off was acceptable for asking us to evict the> restaurant. We note that at least one-third of the tables had> typically developing children at them. We also note that as we left,> our server apologized for the experience and noted that we could have> been seated in a back room which would have addressed any perceived> "disturbance issue.">> We would love for Autism Speaks to develop a rating or symbol> identification system that could identify restaurant chains that have> personnel who are aware, well-informed and can provide a reasonable> level of service and accommodation.>> Perhaps this list might serve a purpose by identifying> restaurants/chains where families have had good experiences.>>>

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[Guest guest]

I think the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) would like to hear about this. If you go to:http://www.ada.gov/If you go to the right hand side margin you will see:Businesses and Non-Profit Service Providersclick under that heading on:ADA Guide for Small Businessesscroll slowly down that page until you see:How to File a Title III Complaint This publication details the procedure for filing a complaint under title III of the ADA, which prohibits discrimination based on disability by businesses and non-profit agencies. (Spanish edition available from the ADA Information Line.)Do NOT hesitate to do this. Let our voices be heard!!! Let them hear from ADA law enforcers and no other family will have to go through that again. Plus..this is a Chain / Fanchise...so perhaps they will be required to have sensitivity traing in the future.I am SO sorry you had to go through this. Sometimes I just cannot stand people, when I see how they look at my children through theirignorant eyes!TLMorelliTo: sList From: hjhawk@...Date: Sat, 13 Dec 2008 22:45:02 -0500Subject: Re: Restaurant issues-the Melting Pot

Ughhh.... this just boils my blood. We are not to be segregated in a

back room. Our children have every right to be there and be included.

If the noise our children is making at a reasonable level, they have

no right to ask us to leave or even to move to another table. If

another table is complaining the manager should offer them the chance

to move to another table or back room, or encourage them to hurry up

and leave. Now if my son has a meltdown, I will ask them to hold the

table while we go outside, to the car or another room to regain

composure and then finish the meal, but if my son is just being

himself, there is no reason to ask us to leave.

We do fondue at home and my son has asked to go to the Melting Pot and

we were thinking of going, but after this, I do not think so. But it

also makes me want to go into the same exact restaurant with my son,

who has some of the same behaviors to let them know you are not alone.

On Sat, Dec 13, 2008 at 9:16 PM, Stacey Coulter <staceyconova (DOT) edu> wrote:

> We have been to sit-down restaurants with our 7-year old son who has

> autism hundreds of times. Like other families we make modifications to

> be considerate of other diners such as eating out at slower times,

> eating quickly, leaving or walking outside the restaurant if we our

> son seems overwhelmed. Generally, in the last four years, we have made

> things work.

>

> We recently had a strange experience at the Melting Pot restaurant on

> Federal Highway in which the restaurant manager told us we were

> causing a disturbance and offered to comp our dinner to "hurry us

> along" and get us to leave the restaurant.

>

> On Saturday, December 13, we decided to celebrate a family birthday by

> eating out at the Melting Pot. We had eaten there before with no

> problems. To accommodate the needs of our 7-year old son who had

> autism we made a reservation for an early time at 5:30 pm when the

> restaurant would be slower. We asked for an end booth so that we would

> be near fewer people. We brought snacks and activities for our son to

> keep him occupied during the wait.

>

> During the dinner, our son drank and ate and toward the end of the

> entrée was vocalizing (not screaming, squealing, yelling, running) at

> conversational level. We were shocked when the manager, Bob Hopkins,

> approached us in the middle of our meal, offering to "comp" our dinner

> if we could hurry it along as we were disturbing other diners. Though

> we tried to explain to him that our child has a disability, he

> persisted. At no point did the manager make any other offer to change

> our seating or alternatively resolve the situation. He thought that

> offering to pay us off was acceptable for asking us to evict the

> restaurant. We note that at least one-third of the tables had

> typically developing children at them. We also note that as we left,

> our server apologized for the experience and noted that we could have

> been seated in a back room which would have addressed any perceived

> "disturbance issue."

>

> We would love for Autism Speaks to develop a rating or symbol

> identification system that could identify restaurant chains that have

> personnel who are aware, well-informed and can provide a reasonable

> level of service and accommodation.

>

> Perhaps this list might serve a purpose by identifying

> restaurants/chains where families have had good experiences.

>

>

>

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[Guest guest]

Marla,

One thing I've learned through the years is you don't need to be an

attorney to have an opinion. In my opinion there is nothing 'wrong'

with having a preferred restaurant list. I think whoever has the

dedication to do this would not only be helping our national community

of Parents, etc. of kids/adults with ANY disability,

they would also bring awareness to Autism. The 'preference' of

restaurants is no different then the preference of programs or any

other item. By making them ' Autism Friendly " It would very much put

the word on alot peoples lips, it would possibly inspire a movement

with owners to be on this list or have the 'sticker' on their front

door with a letter of approval from whatever name of whatever

organization desires to take this up. We must speak of the needs of

our kids boldly as we ought to. If we don't we'll have other people

doing it that we may not like to do so.

Go for it !

E. , Sr. The Office of Advocacy for Autistic Children

(I would definitely endorse a project such as this so keep me posted.

Regarding the MELTING POT... Maybe they need a suggestion to hold a

Special Night for Parents and their Children from your local

community. If you want someone to let them know of this personally

the managers name is in the post initially made.. to that parent (hard

to remember names) let me know and I will make the call.)

> > We have been to sit-down restaurants with our 7-year old son who has

> > autism hundreds of times. Like other families we make

modifications to

> > be considerate of other diners such as eating out at slower times,

> > eating quickly, leaving or walking outside the restaurant if we our

> > son seems overwhelmed. Generally, in the last four years, we

have made

> > things work.

> >

> > We recently had a strange experience at the Melting Pot

restaurant on

> > Federal Highway in which the restaurant manager told us we were

> > causing a disturbance and offered to comp our dinner to " hurry us

> > along " and get us to leave the restaurant.

> >

> > On Saturday, December 13, we decided to celebrate a family

birthday by

> > eating out at the Melting Pot. We had eaten there before with no

> > problems. To accommodate the needs of our 7-year old son who had

> > autism we made a reservation for an early time at 5:30 pm when the

> > restaurant would be slower. We asked for an end booth so that we

would

> > be near fewer people. We brought snacks and activities for our

son to

> > keep him occupied during the wait.

> >

> > During the dinner, our son drank and ate and toward the end of the

> > entrée was vocalizing (not screaming, squealing, yelling,

running) at

> > conversational level. We were shocked when the manager, Bob Hopkins,

> > approached us in the middle of our meal, offering to " comp " our

dinner

> > if we could hurry it along as we were disturbing other diners.

Though

> > we tried to explain to him that our child has a disability, he

> > persisted. At no point did the manager make any other offer to

change

> > our seating or alternatively resolve the situation. He thought that

> > offering to pay us off was acceptable for asking us to evict the

> > restaurant. We note that at least one-third of the tables had

> > typically developing children at them. We also note that as we left,

> > our server apologized for the experience and noted that we could

have

> > been seated in a back room which would have addressed any perceived

> > " disturbance issue. "

> >

> > We would love for Autism Speaks to develop a rating or symbol

> > identification system that could identify restaurant chains that

have

> > personnel who are aware, well-informed and can provide a reasonable

> > level of service and accommodation.

> >

> > Perhaps this list might serve a purpose by identifying

> > restaurants/chains where families have had good experiences.

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

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