Re: whining time

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Oh yeah.........The irony of the year (well, only 9 days, so far). I return from Anchorage after a 6 month check up. Cancer is still in remission.........people ask, I tell them, they care, they're happy, I'm not sure I even care, I try not to let it show. It's like I want to tell them, "well, there's this thing about my lungs, as evidenced by this hose in my nose"... As you all know.....day after day after day after day..............never better, only periodically worse. Maybe I'm just an ungrateful jerk......sometimes the struggle.......well........sorry to go all morose on you. jim ps. who said "acceptance"??.....ohhhhhh..... that was me.....gigi2gb wrote: Jim,You said it well, but this disease sucks! I guess I haven't gotten to the acceptance stage yet; I keep hoping for the miracle. Reading the posts can be depressing, even though I know it will be real life for me too. Eventually I'll get there.gigi> > >> > > It could be they do not

want to face losing you. I know that my family finds it hard to realize that i am dying. That option was always there but no one wants a specific time frame. I know I have trouble myself accepting IPF. I find no fault at them wanting me forever but forever is sometimes shorter than we think. Love you all.> > > > > > > > > grief> > > > > & ! gt; > > > Judy B,> > > My heart aches over the situation with your daughter. My> > > daughter is 23 and isn't dealing well with my illness either.> > > I can't expect her to be okay with the fact that her father> > > committed suicide when she was 8, and her 56-year-old> > > mother has a terminal illness. She will talk about it only> > > in brief spurts. She and my son are definitely already> > > grieving, even though on the surface Kate seems to be> > > doing fine. The timing of all this is terrible, as she only> > > turned her life around 3 years ago after being self-> > > destructive and troubled. We were kind of making up> > > for lost time, and then WHAM - this diagnosis. Unlike> > > me, Kate's still not great at openly

and honestly> > > expressing her emotions. Both she and my son live> > > 3 hours away, and I think they do feel guilt about not> > > being physically closer to provide more support.> > > Fortunate! ly, my s on will talk about any and everything> > > with me, not that it's easy or pleasant. He's SO sweet> > > and supportive. He's 28, and my daughter-in- law is> > > very special and dear to my heart too.> > > > > > If you two have always been close, I believe that things> > > will work themselves out somehow. You will find a way> > > to lovingly say to her what you need to say, in a way that> > > gives you peace and helps ease her mind and her pain later.> > > You will ease the way for her to say what she needs to> > > say, by being an approachable mother. Parenting's an> > >

incredibly hard job, even when you're baby's 44.> > > > > > None of us knows exactly how long we'll be here, but> > > this disease gives us reason to begin grieving early. It> > > also teaches us to cherish the sanctity of life, and to> > > give to God what we cannot do for ourselves. You're in> > > my prayers.> > > > > > Hugs and blessings,> > > Gwynne IPF 7/04 listed for transplant 3/07 Texas> > > > > > > > ! > > > > > > > > > > > > > Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.> > >> >> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ---------------------------------> Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo!

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Jim, Be morose, you are definitely entitled-this is frustrating, aggravating, depressing and just plain awful. We are all on the same roller coaster ride, the trick is forcing

ourselves to climb back up the tracks each time we take a plunging ride

down! Glad you are still in remission, sorry others don't understand, glad you are with us, sorry you have to be here. Take care and God bless- Sarcoid/PF 3/2006 California grief> > > > > & ! gt; > > > Judy B,> > > My heart aches over the situation with your daughter. My> > > daughter is 23 and isn't dealing well with my illness either.> > > I can't expect her to be okay with the fact that her father> > > committed suicide when she was 8, and her 56-year-old> > > mother has a terminal illness. She will talk about it only> > > in brief spurts. She and my son are definitely already> > > grieving, even though on the surface Kate seems to be> > > doing fine. The timing of all this is terrible, as she only> > > turned her life around 3 years ago after being self-> > > destructive and troubled. We were kind of making up> > > for lost time, and then WHAM - this diagnosis. Unlike> > > me, Kate's still

not great at openly

and honestly> > > expressing her emotions. Both she and my son live> > > 3 hours away, and I think they do feel guilt about not> > > being physically closer to provide more support.> > > Fortunate! ly, my s on will talk about any and everything> > > with me, not that it's easy or pleasant. He's SO sweet> > > and supportive. He's 28, and my daughter-in- law is> > > very special and dear to my heart too.> > > > > > If you two have always been close, I believe that things> > > will work themselves out somehow. You will find a way> > > to lovingly say to her what you need to say, in a way that> > > gives you peace and helps ease her mind and her pain later.> > > You will ease the way for her to say what she needs to> > > say, by being an approachable mother. Parenting's

an> > >

incredibly hard job, even when you're baby's 44.> > > > > > None of us knows exactly how long we'll be here, but> > > this disease gives us reason to begin grieving early. It> > > also teaches us to cherish the sanctity of life, and to> > > give to God what we cannot do for ourselves. You're in> > > my prayers.> > > > > > Hugs and blessings,> > > Gwynne IPF 7/04 listed for transplant 3/07 Texas> > > > > > > > ! > > > > > > > > > > > > > Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.> > >> >> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ------------ --------- --------- ---> Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with

Yahoo!

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Jim... wish I could give you a hug. (It goes with being 'mama') you aren't a jerk!

First of all I'm so glad the cancer is still in remission. We'll take what we can get huh.

You aren't ungrateful either. You're no doubt just "feelin' it" today. You know this too shall pass.

(I like playing with words) What you need is "mo-roses".

Go hug 'yer wife and know "I love ya man"

Mama-Sher, 69; IPF, 3-06, OR.Don't fret about tomorrow, God is already there!

grief> > > > > & ! gt; > > > Judy B,> > > My heart aches over the situation with your daughter. My> > > daughter is 23 and isn't dealing well with my illness either.> > > I can't expect her to be okay with the fact that her father> > > committed suicide when she was 8, and her 56-year-old> > > mother has a terminal illness. She will talk about it only> > > in brief spurts. She and my son are definitely already> > > grieving, even though on the surface Kate seems to be> > > doing fine. The timing of all this is terrible, as she only> > > turned her life around 3 years ago after being self-> > > destructive and troubled. We were kind of making up> > > for lost time, and then WHAM - this diagnosis. Unlike> > > me, Kate's still not great at openly and honestly> > > expressing her emotions. Both she and my son live> > > 3 hours away, and I think they do feel guilt about not> > > being physically closer to provide more support.> > > Fortunate! ly, my s on will talk about any and everything> > > with me, not that it's easy or pleasant. He's SO sweet> > > and supportive. He's 28, and my daughter-in- law is> > > very special and dear to my heart too.> > > > > > If you two have always been close, I believe that things> > > will work themselves out somehow. You will find a way> > > to lovingly say to her what you need to say, in a way that> > > gives you peace and helps ease her mind and her pain later.> > > You will ease the way for her to say what she needs to> > > say, by being an approachable mother. Parenting's an> > > incredibly hard job, even when you're baby's 44.> > > > > > None of us knows exactly how long we'll be here, but> > > this disease gives us reason to begin grieving early. It> > > also teaches us to cherish the sanctity of life, and to> > > give to God what we cannot do for ourselves. You're in> > > my prayers.> > > > > > Hugs and blessings,> > > Gwynne IPF 7/04 listed for transplant 3/07 Texas> > > > > > > > ! > > > > > > > > > > > > > Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.> > >> >> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ---------------------------------> Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.>

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Sher, "MO-ROSES"???? I love it !!!! You got the touch Girl...you were right.....somes days are diamonds, and some days are stones. Yesterday I needed a dump truck. jimSher Bauman wrote: Jim... wish I could give you a hug. (It goes with being 'mama') you aren't a jerk! First of all I'm so glad the cancer is

still in remission. We'll take what we can get huh. You aren't ungrateful either. You're no doubt just "feelin' it" today. You know this too shall pass. (I like playing with words) What you need is "mo-roses". Go hug 'yer wife and know "I love ya man" Mama-Sher, 69; IPF, 3-06, OR.Don't fret about tomorrow, God is already there! grief> > > > > & ! gt; > > > Judy B,> > > My heart aches over the situation with your daughter. My> > > daughter is 23 and isn't dealing well with my illness either.> > > I can't expect her to be okay with the fact that her father> > > committed suicide when she was 8, and her 56-year-old> > > mother has a terminal illness. She will talk about it only> > > in brief spurts. She and my son are definitely already> > > grieving, even though on the surface Kate seems to be> > > doing fine. The timing of all this is terrible, as she only> > > turned her life around 3 years ago after being self-> > > destructive and

troubled. We were kind of making up> > > for lost time, and then WHAM - this diagnosis. Unlike> > > me, Kate's still not great at openly and honestly> > > expressing her emotions. Both she and my son live> > > 3 hours away, and I think they do feel guilt about not> > > being physically closer to provide more support.> > > Fortunate! ly, my s on will talk about any and everything> > > with me, not that it's easy or pleasant. He's SO sweet> > > and supportive. He's 28, and my daughter-in- law is> > > very special and dear to my heart too.> > > > > > If you two have always been close, I believe that things> > > will work themselves out somehow. You will find a way> > > to lovingly say to her what you need to say, in a way that> > > gives you peace and helps ease her mind and her pain

later.> > > You will ease the way for her to say what she needs to> > > say, by being an approachable mother. Parenting's an> > > incredibly hard job, even when you're baby's 44.> > > > > > None of us knows exactly how long we'll be here, but> > > this disease gives us reason to begin grieving early. It> > > also teaches us to cherish the sanctity of life, and to> > > give to God what we cannot do for ourselves. You're in> > > my prayers.> > > > > > Hugs and blessings,> > > Gwynne IPF 7/04 listed for transplant 3/07 Texas> > > > > > > > ! > > > > > > > > > > > > > Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.> > >> >> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > ---------------------------------> Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.> Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

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Hey Jim is that the same as  "sometimes your the windshield, sometimes your the bug" ??? Love and Prayers, Peggy  ipf 6/04 Florida"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." Sher, "MO-ROSES"???? I love it !!!! You got the touch Girl...you were right.....somes days are diamonds, and some days are stones. Yesterday I needed a dump truck.    jimSher Bauman <bofuswbcable (DOT) net> wrote:Jim...  wish I could give you a hug. (It goes with being 'mama')  you aren't a jerk!First of all I'm so glad the cancer is still in remission. We'll take what we can get huh.You aren't ungrateful either. You're no doubt just "feelin' it" today. You know this too shall pass.(I like playing with words) What you need is "mo-roses".Go hug 'yer wife and know "I love ya man"Mama-Sher, 69; IPF, 3-06, OR.Don't fret about tomorrow, God is already there! grief> > > > > & ! gt; > > > Judy B,> > > My heart aches over the situation with your daughter. My> > > daughter is 23 and isn't dealing well with my illness either.> > > I can't expect her to be okay with the fact that her father> > > committed suicide when she was 8, and her 56-year-old> > > mother has a terminal illness. She will talk about it only> > > in brief spurts. She and my son are definitely already> > > grieving, even though on the surface Kate seems to be> > > doing fine. The timing of all this is terrible, as she only> > > turned her life around 3 years ago after being self-> > > destructive and troubled. We were kind of making up> > > for lost time, and then WHAM - this diagnosis. Unlike> > > me, Kate's still not great at openly and honestly> > > expressing her emotions. Both she and my son live> > > 3 hours away, and I think they do feel guilt about not> > > being physically closer to provide more support.> > > Fortunate! ly, my s on will talk about any and everything> > > with me, not that it's easy or pleasant. He's SO sweet> > > and supportive. He's 28, and my daughter-in- law is> > > very special and dear to my heart too.> > > > > > If you two have always been close, I believe that things> > > will work themselves out somehow. You will find a way> > > to lovingly say to her what you need to say, in a way that> > > gives you peace and helps ease her mind and her pain later.> > > You will ease the way for her to say what she needs to> > > say, by being an approachable mother. Parenting's an> > > incredibly hard job, even when you're baby's 44.> > > > > > None of us knows exactly how long we'll be here, but> > > this disease gives us reason to begin grieving early. It> > > also teaches us to cherish the sanctity of life, and to> > > give to God what we cannot do for ourselves. You're in> > > my prayers.> > > > > > Hugs and blessings,> > > Gwynne IPF 7/04 listed for transplant 3/07 Texas> > > > > > > > ! > > > > > > > > > > > > > Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.> > >> >> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ---------------------------------> Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.>Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

[Guest guest]

Precisely, exactly, right-on, yo.....:-)Peggy wrote: Hey Jim is that the same as "sometimes your the windshield, sometimes your the bug" ??? Love and Prayers, Peggy ipf 6/04 Florida "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." Sher, "MO-ROSES"???? I love it !!!! You got the touch Girl...you were right.....somes days are diamonds, and some days are stones. Yesterday I needed a dump truck. jimSher Bauman <bofuswbcable (DOT) net> wrote: Jim... wish I could give you a hug. (It goes with being 'mama') you aren't a jerk! First of all I'm so glad the cancer is still in remission. We'll take what we can get huh. You aren't ungrateful either. You're no doubt just "feelin' it" today. You know this too shall pass. (I like playing with words) What you need is "mo-roses". Go hug 'yer wife and know "I love ya man" Mama-Sher, 69; IPF, 3-06, OR.Don't fret about tomorrow, God is already there! grief> > > > > & ! gt; > > > Judy B,> > > My heart aches over the situation with your daughter. My> > > daughter is 23 and isn't dealing well with my illness either.> > > I can't expect her to be okay with the fact that her father> > > committed suicide when she was 8, and her 56-year-old> > > mother has a terminal illness. She will talk about it only> > > in brief spurts. She and my son are definitely already> > > grieving, even though on the surface Kate seems to be> > > doing fine. The

timing of all this is terrible, as she only> > > turned her life around 3 years ago after being self-> > > destructive and troubled. We were kind of making up> > > for lost time, and then WHAM - this diagnosis. Unlike> > > me, Kate's still not great at openly and honestly> > > expressing her emotions. Both she and my son live> > > 3 hours away, and I think they do feel guilt about not> > > being physically closer to provide more support.> > > Fortunate! ly, my s on will talk about any and everything> > > with me, not that it's easy or pleasant. He's SO sweet> > > and supportive. He's 28, and my daughter-in- law is> > > very special and dear to my heart too.> > > > > > If you two have always been close, I believe that things> > > will work themselves

out somehow. You will find a way> > > to lovingly say to her what you need to say, in a way that> > > gives you peace and helps ease her mind and her pain later.> > > You will ease the way for her to say what she needs to> > > say, by being an approachable mother. Parenting's an> > > incredibly hard job, even when you're baby's 44.> > > > > > None of us knows exactly how long we'll be here, but> > > this disease gives us reason to begin grieving early. It> > > also teaches us to cherish the sanctity of life, and to> > > give to God what we cannot do for ourselves. You're in> > > my prayers.> > > > > > Hugs and blessings,> > > Gwynne IPF 7/04 listed for transplant 3/07 Texas> > > > > > > > ! > > > > > > > > > > > > > Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.> > >> >> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ---------------------------------> Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.> Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.

[Guest guest]

Jim...I hope today is a better day.

When I borrowed Leanne's "I love ya man" it was heartfelt. I feel genuine affection for you guys as well as the gals.

Mama-Sher, 69; IPF, 3-06, OR.Don't fret about tomorrow, God is already there!

grief> > > > > & ! gt; > > > Judy B,> > > My heart aches over the situation with your daughter. My> > > daughter is 23 and isn't dealing well with my illness either.> > > I can't expect her to be okay with the fact that her father> > > committed suicide when she was 8, and her 56-year-old> > > mother has a terminal illness. She will talk about it only> > > in brief spurts. She and my son are definitely already> > > grieving, even though on the surface Kate seems to be> > > doing fine. The timing of all this is terrible, as she only> > > turned her life around 3 years ago after being self-> > > destructive and troubled. We were kind of making up> > > for lost time, and then WHAM - this diagnosis. Unlike> > > me, Kate's still not great at openly and honestly> > > expressing her emotions. Both she and my son live> > > 3 hours away, and I think they do feel guilt about not> > > being physically closer to provide more support.> > > Fortunate! ly, my s on will talk about any and everything> > > with me, not that it's easy or pleasant. He's SO sweet> > > and supportive. He's 28, and my daughter-in- law is> > > very special and dear to my heart too.> > > > > > If you two have always been close, I believe that things> > > will work themselves out somehow. You will find a way> > > to lovingly say to her what you need to say, in a way that> > > gives you peace and helps ease her mind and her pain later.> > > You will ease the way for her to say what she needs to> > > say, by being an approachable mother. Parenting's an> > > incredibly hard job, even when you're baby's 44.> > > > > > None of us knows exactly how long we'll be here, but> > > this disease gives us reason to begin grieving early. It> > > also teaches us to cherish the sanctity of life, and to> > > give to God what we cannot do for ourselves. You're in> > > my prayers.> > > > > > Hugs and blessings,> > > Gwynne IPF 7/04 listed for transplant 3/07 Texas> > > > > > > > ! > > > > > > > > > > > > > Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.> > >> >> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ---------------------------------> Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.>

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Jim

Isn't the world filled with such irony and sometimes it has to anger

you. People know what cancer is and to them its the worst thing. Lung

wise most people think immediately of COPD and don't realize there

are those of us who would gladly trade for it. It's amazing how many

ask what you have? IPF. Oh, what is that? A terminal lung disease.

And where have you been? They don't even pursue more knowledge as

they have no idea.

It surprises you sometimes the ones who do want to understand. At the

Hotel in Tulsa one of the desk persons asked and I told her I had

IPF. She then started asking more and said hope I'm not too nosy but

I'd never heard of it. We talked for a while and I left her a

brochure. The next day she smiled and said she looked it up online

too. She said...but you look and act so healthy and happy and its

such a horrible disease. What a nice caring young person. Oh, I did

fill out one of those cards reporting an incredible front desk

person.

> > > >

> > > > It could be they do not want to face losing you. I know that

my

> family finds it hard to realize that i am dying. That option was

> always there but no one wants a specific time frame. I know I have

> trouble myself accepting IPF. I find no fault at them wanting me

> forever but forever is sometimes shorter than we think. Love you

all.

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > grief

> > > >

> > > & ! gt;

> > > > Judy B,

> > > > My heart aches over the situation with your daughter. My

> > > > daughter is 23 and isn't dealing well with my illness either.

> > > > I can't expect her to be okay with the fact that her father

> > > > committed suicide when she was 8, and her 56-year-old

> > > > mother has a terminal illness. She will talk about it only

> > > > in brief spurts. She and my son are definitely already

> > > > grieving, even though on the surface Kate seems to be

> > > > doing fine. The timing of all this is terrible, as she only

> > > > turned her life around 3 years ago after being self-

> > > > destructive and troubled. We were kind of making up

> > > > for lost time, and then WHAM - this diagnosis. Unlike

> > > > me, Kate's still not great at openly and honestly

> > > > expressing her emotions. Both she and my son live

> > > > 3 hours away, and I think they do feel guilt about not

> > > > being physically closer to provide more support.

> > > > Fortunate! ly, my s on will talk about any and everything

> > > > with me, not that it's easy or pleasant. He's SO sweet

> > > > and supportive. He's 28, and my daughter-in- law is

> > > > very special and dear to my heart too.

> > > >

> > > > If you two have always been close, I believe that things

> > > > will work themselves out somehow. You will find a way

> > > > to lovingly say to her what you need to say, in a way that

> > > > gives you peace and helps ease her mind and her pain later.

> > > > You will ease the way for her to say what she needs to

> > > > say, by being an approachable mother. Parenting's an

> > > > incredibly hard job, even when you're baby's 44.

> > > >

> > > > None of us knows exactly how long we'll be here, but

> > > > this disease gives us reason to begin grieving early. It

> > > > also teaches us to cherish the sanctity of life, and to

> > > > give to God what we cannot do for ourselves. You're in

> > > > my prayers.

> > > >

> > > > Hugs and blessings,

> > > > Gwynne IPF 7/04 listed for transplant 3/07 Texas

> > > >

> > > >

> > > ! >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ---------------------------------

> > Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with

Yahoo!

> Search.

> >

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo!

Mobile. Try it now.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo!

Search.

>