grief

[Guest guest]

Judy B,

My heart aches over the situation with your daughter. My

daughter is 23 and isn't dealing well with my illness either.

I can't expect her to be okay with the fact that her father

committed suicide when she was 8, and her 56-year-old

mother has a terminal illness. She will talk about it only

in brief spurts. She and my son are definitely already

grieving, even though on the surface Kate seems to be

doing fine. The timing of all this is terrible, as she only

turned her life around 3 years ago after being self-

destructive and troubled. We were kind of making up

for lost time, and then WHAM - this diagnosis. Unlike

me, Kate's still not great at openly and honestly

expressing her emotions. Both she and my son live

3 hours away, and I think they do feel guilt about not

being physically closer to provide more support.

Fortunately, my son will talk about any and everything

with me, not that it's easy or pleasant. He's SO sweet

and supportive. He's 28, and my daughter-in-law is

very special and dear to my heart too.

If you two have always been close, I believe that things

will work themselves out somehow. You will find a way

to lovingly say to her what you need to say, in a way that

gives you peace and helps ease her mind and her pain later.

You will ease the way for her to say what she needs to

say, by being an approachable mother. Parenting's an

incredibly hard job, even when you're baby's 44.

None of us knows exactly how long we'll be here, but

this disease gives us reason to begin grieving early. It

also teaches us to cherish the sanctity of life, and to

give to God what we cannot do for ourselves. You're in

my prayers.

Hugs and blessings,

Gwynne IPF 7/04 listed for transplant 3/07 Texas

[Guest guest]

Gwynne,

I have 5 adult kids. I'm very close with Debbie as I've said. I have another daughter who I am close with, but she has a lot of problems and she can be very difficult at times. One of my son's has been to see me twice but has never once asked about IPF or even how I am feeling. At first I was hurt because he'd come here and almost ignore me. Now I'm starting to realize he just isn't someone who can talk about such things. Hopefully in time he'll open up some.

The real hurt though is that I have 2 kids who have never contacted me after they were told I was sick. We weren't close to begin with, but I did think my illness would at least get one comment from them.

Since getting this disease and the outcome, I find I am appreciating the little things so much more. And family and friends is really all there is. God Bless you and your family.

Judybrown63, IPF 4/07, SC

grief

Judy B,My heart aches over the situation with your daughter. Mydaughter is 23 and isn't dealing well with my illness either.I can't expect her to be okay with the fact that her fathercommitted suicide when she was 8, and her 56-year-oldmother has a terminal illness. She will talk about it onlyin brief spurts. She and my son are definitely alreadygrieving, even though on the surface Kate seems to bedoing fine. The timing of all this is terrible, as she onlyturned her life around 3 years ago after being self-destructive and troubled. We were kind of making upfor lost time, and then WHAM - this diagnosis. Unlikeme, Kate's still not great at openly and honestlyexpressing her emotions. Both she and my son live3 hours away, and I think they do feel guilt about notbeing physically closer to provide more support.Fortunately, my son will talk about any and everythingwith me, not that it's easy

or pleasant. He's SO sweetand supportive. He's 28, and my daughter-in- law isvery special and dear to my heart too.If you two have always been close, I believe that thingswill work themselves out somehow. You will find a wayto lovingly say to her what you need to say, in a way thatgives you peace and helps ease her mind and her pain later.You will ease the way for her to say what she needs tosay, by being an approachable mother. Parenting's anincredibly hard job, even when you're baby's 44.None of us knows exactly how long we'll be here, butthis disease gives us reason to begin grieving early. Italso teaches us to cherish the sanctity of life, and togive to God what we cannot do for ourselves. You're inmy prayers.Hugs and blessings,Gwynne IPF 7/04 listed for transplant 3/07 Texas

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[Guest guest]

It could be they do not want to face losing you. I know that my family finds it hard to realize that i am dying. That option was always there but no one wants a specific time frame. I know I have trouble myself accepting IPF. I find no fault at them wanting me forever but forever is sometimes shorter than we think. Love you all.

grief

Judy B,My heart aches over the situation with your daughter. Mydaughter is 23 and isn't dealing well with my illness either.I can't expect her to be okay with the fact that her fathercommitted suicide when she was 8, and her 56-year-oldmother has a terminal illness. She will talk about it onlyin brief spurts. She and my son are definitely alreadygrieving, even though on the surface Kate seems to bedoing fine. The timing of all this is terrible, as she onlyturned her life around 3 years ago after being self-destructive and troubled. We were kind of making upfor lost time, and then WHAM - this diagnosis. Unlikeme, Kate's still not great at openly and honestlyexpressing her emotions. Both she and my son live3 hours away, and I think they do feel guilt about notbeing physically closer to provide more support.Fortunately, my son will talk about any and everythingwith me, not that it's easy

or pleasant. He's SO sweetand supportive. He's 28, and my daughter-in- law isvery special and dear to my heart too.If you two have always been close, I believe that thingswill work themselves out somehow. You will find a wayto lovingly say to her what you need to say, in a way thatgives you peace and helps ease her mind and her pain later.You will ease the way for her to say what she needs tosay, by being an approachable mother. Parenting's anincredibly hard job, even when you're baby's 44.None of us knows exactly how long we'll be here, butthis disease gives us reason to begin grieving early. Italso teaches us to cherish the sanctity of life, and togive to God what we cannot do for ourselves. You're inmy prayers.Hugs and blessings,Gwynne IPF 7/04 listed for transplant 3/07 Texas

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[Guest guest]

Judy,

ny Carson once said that he wished birth control was retroactive.

Hugs, Joyce D.PULMONARY FIBROSIS/LUPUS 1997 BRONCHIECTASIS 2004 INDIANA 2 COR. 12:10 ....when I am weak, then I am strong.>> Gwynne, > I have 5 adult kids. I'm very close with Debbie as I've said. I have another daughter who I am close with, but she has a lot of problems and she can be very difficult at times. One of my son's has been to see me twice but has never once asked about IPF or even how I am feeling. At first I was hurt because he'd come here and almost ignore me. Now I'm starting to realize he just isn't someone who can talk about such things. Hopefully in time he'll open up some.> The real hurt though is that I have 2 kids who have never contacted me after they were told I was sick. We weren't close to begin with, but I did think my illness would at least get one comment from them. > Since getting this disease and the outcome, I find I am appreciating the little things so much more. And family and friends is really all there is. God Bless you and your family. > Judybrown63, IPF 4/07, SC> > grief> > Judy B,> My heart aches over the situation with your daughter. My> daughter is 23 and isn't dealing well with my illness either.> I can't expect her to be okay with the fact that her father> committed suicide when she was 8, and her 56-year-old> mother has a terminal illness. She will talk about it only> in brief spurts. She and my son are definitely already> grieving, even though on the surface Kate seems to be> doing fine. The timing of all this is terrible, as she only> turned her life around 3 years ago after being self-> destructive and troubled. We were kind of making up> for lost time, and then WHAM - this diagnosis. Unlike> me, Kate's still not great at openly and honestly> expressing her emotions. Both she and my son live> 3 hours away, and I think they do feel guilt about not> being physically closer to provide more support.> Fortunately, my son will talk about any and everything> with me, not that it's easy or pleasant. He's SO sweet> and supportive. He's 28, and my daughter-in- law is> very special and dear to my heart too.> > If you two have always been close, I believe that things> will work themselves out somehow. You will find a way> to lovingly say to her what you need to say, in a way that> gives you peace and helps ease her mind and her pain later.> You will ease the way for her to say what she needs to> say, by being an approachable mother. Parenting's an> incredibly hard job, even when you're baby's 44.> > None of us knows exactly how long we'll be here, but> this disease gives us reason to begin grieving early. It> also teaches us to cherish the sanctity of life, and to> give to God what we cannot do for ourselves. You're in> my prayers.> > Hugs and blessings,> Gwynne IPF 7/04 listed for transplant 3/07 Texas> > > > > ____________________________________________________________________________________> Be a better friend, newshound, and > know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ>

[Guest guest]

Yes, but at some point an adult child should think of us and what WE need. This dying is about us. It is so good to come here.....if nothing else, we can say the words that no one else wants to hear.

God's blessings.

Hugs, Joyce D.PULMONARY FIBROSIS/LUPUS 1997 BRONCHIECTASIS 2004 INDIANA 2 COR. 12:10 ....when I am weak, then I am strong.>> It could be they do not want to face losing you. I know that my family finds it hard to realize that i am dying. That option was always there but no one wants a specific time frame. I know I have trouble myself accepting IPF. I find no fault at them wanting me forever but forever is sometimes shorter than we think. Love you all.> > > grief> > > Judy B,> My heart aches over the situation with your daughter. My> daughter is 23 and isn't dealing well with my illness either.> I can't expect her to be okay with the fact that her father> committed suicide when she was 8, and her 56-year-old> mother has a terminal illness. She will talk about it only> in brief spurts. She and my son are definitely already> grieving, even though on the surface Kate seems to be> doing fine. The timing of all this is terrible, as she only> turned her life around 3 years ago after being self-> destructive and troubled. We were kind of making up> for lost time, and then WHAM - this diagnosis. Unlike> me, Kate's still not great at openly and honestly> expressing her emotions. Both she and my son live> 3 hours away, and I think they do feel guilt about not> being physically closer to provide more support.> Fortunately, my son will talk about any and everything> with me, not that it's easy or pleasant. He's SO sweet> and supportive. He's 28, and my daughter-in- law is> very special and dear to my heart too.> > If you two have always been close, I believe that things> will work themselves out somehow. You will find a way> to lovingly say to her what you need to say, in a way that> gives you peace and helps ease her mind and her pain later.> You will ease the way for her to say what she needs to> say, by being an approachable mother. Parenting's an> incredibly hard job, even when you're baby's 44.> > None of us knows exactly how long we'll be here, but> this disease gives us reason to begin grieving early. It> also teaches us to cherish the sanctity of life, and to> give to God what we cannot do for ourselves. You're in> my prayers.> > Hugs and blessings,> Gwynne IPF 7/04 listed for transplant 3/07 Texas> > > > > > > Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.>

[Guest guest]

Judy... I understand being hurt when two of your kids didn't acknowledge your disease. Others react in all sorts of ways don't they.

Have you maybe tried a"family gathering" and all of you can be together and talk about it?

Oh, not thinking here. Sorry. All of you don't live in the same place. Maybe you can sneak one in when you know you will all be together. lol

Am I correct, that you said when you joined that your husband is not very supportive? If I'm wrong here, I apologize. I do get folks mixed up once in awhile.

I agree. When all is said and done. Family and friends. And of course God at the head of the list.

Hugs.

Mama-Sher, 69; IPF, 3-06, OR.Don't fret about tomorrow, God is already there!

grief

Judy B,My heart aches over the situation with your daughter. Mydaughter is 23 and isn't dealing well with my illness either.I can't expect her to be okay with the fact that her fathercommitted suicide when she was 8, and her 56-year-oldmother has a terminal illness. She will talk about it onlyin brief spurts. She and my son are definitely alreadygrieving, even though on the surface Kate seems to bedoing fine. The timing of all this is terrible, as she onlyturned her life around 3 years ago after being self-destructive and troubled. We were kind of making upfor lost time, and then WHAM - this diagnosis. Unlikeme, Kate's still not great at openly and honestlyexpressing her emotions. Both she and my son live3 hours away, and I think they do feel guilt about notbeing physically closer to provide more support.Fortunately, my son will talk about any and everythingwith me, not that it's easy or pleasant. He's SO sweetand supportive. He's 28, and my daughter-in- law isvery special and dear to my heart too.If you two have always been close, I believe that thingswill work themselves out somehow. You will find a wayto lovingly say to her what you need to say, in a way thatgives you peace and helps ease her mind and her pain later.You will ease the way for her to say what she needs tosay, by being an approachable mother. Parenting's anincredibly hard job, even when you're baby's 44.None of us knows exactly how long we'll be here, butthis disease gives us reason to begin grieving early. Italso teaches us to cherish the sanctity of life, and togive to God what we cannot do for ourselves. You're inmy prayers.Hugs and blessings,Gwynne IPF 7/04 listed for transplant 3/07 Texas

Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

[Guest guest]

Sunday, at church, our preacher said that he was watching people at the airport and he saw people leaving town, hugging and crying. Then he saw people coming into town and they were all happy with big smiles and tears of joy.

He likened that with dying. The parting is so sad. On the other side, all of heaven is rejoicing as you arrive. A great analogy.

Hugs, Joyce D.PULMONARY FIBROSIS/LUPUS 1997 BRONCHIECTASIS 2004 INDIANA 2 COR. 12:10 ....when I am weak, then I am strong.> >> > It could be they do not want to face losing you. I know that my > family finds it hard to realize that i am dying. That option was > always there but no one wants a specific time frame. I know I have > trouble myself accepting IPF. I find no fault at them wanting me > forever but forever is sometimes shorter than we think. Love you all.> >> >> > grief> >> >> > Judy B,> > My heart aches over the situation with your daughter. My> > daughter is 23 and isn't dealing well with my illness either.> > I can't expect her to be okay with the fact that her father> > committed suicide when she was 8, and her 56-year-old> > mother has a terminal illness. She will talk about it only> > in brief spurts. She and my son are definitely already> > grieving, even though on the surface Kate seems to be> > doing fine. The timing of all this is terrible, as she only> > turned her life around 3 years ago after being self-> > destructive and troubled. We were kind of making up> > for lost time, and then WHAM - this diagnosis. Unlike> > me, Kate's still not great at openly and honestly> > expressing her emotions. Both she and my son live> > 3 hours away, and I think they do feel guilt about not> > being physically closer to provide more support.> > Fortunately, my son will talk about any and everything> > with me, not that it's easy or pleasant. He's SO sweet> > and supportive. He's 28, and my daughter-in- law is> > very special and dear to my heart too.> >> > If you two have always been close, I believe that things> > will work themselves out somehow. You will find a way> > to lovingly say to her what you need to say, in a way that> > gives you peace and helps ease her mind and her pain later.> > You will ease the way for her to say what she needs to> > say, by being an approachable mother. Parenting's an> > incredibly hard job, even when you're baby's 44.> >> > None of us knows exactly how long we'll be here, but> > this disease gives us reason to begin grieving early. It> > also teaches us to cherish the sanctity of life, and to> > give to God what we cannot do for ourselves. You're in> > my prayers.> >> > Hugs and blessings,> > Gwynne IPF 7/04 listed for transplant 3/07 Texas> >> >> >> >> >> >> > Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.> >>

[Guest guest]

Jim,

I have been looking for this for years. I saw it once on a brochure from Hospice and loved it. Thanks so much. It is so meaningful.

Hugs, Joyce D.PULMONARY FIBROSIS/LUPUS 1997 BRONCHIECTASIS 2004 INDIANA 2 COR. 12:10 ....when I am weak, then I am strong.> > >> > > It could be they do not want to face losing you. I know that my > > family finds it hard to realize that i am dying. That option was > > always there but no one wants a specific time frame. I know I have > > trouble myself accepting IPF. I find no fault at them wanting me > > forever but forever is sometimes shorter than we think. Love you all.> > >> > >> > > grief> > >> > >> > > Judy B,> > > My heart aches over the situation with your daughter. My> > > daughter is 23 and isn't dealing well with my illness either.> > > I can't expect her to be okay with the fact that her father> > > committed suicide when she was 8, and her 56-year-old> > > mother has a terminal illness. She will talk about it only> > > in brief spurts. She and my son are definitely already> > > grieving, even though on the surface Kate seems to be> > > doing fine. The timing of all this is terrible, as she only> > > turned her life around 3 years ago after being self-> > > destructive and troubled. We were kind of making up> > > for lost time, and then WHAM - this diagnosis. Unlike> > > me, Kate's still not great at openly and honestly> > > expressing her emotions. Both she and my son live> > > 3 hours away, and I think they do feel guilt about not> > > being physically closer to provide more support.> > > Fortunately, my son will talk about any and everything> > > with me, not that it's easy or pleasant. He's SO sweet> > > and supportive. He's 28, and my daughter-in- law is> > > very special and dear to my heart too.> > >> > > If you two have always been close, I believe that things> > > will work themselves out somehow. You will find a way> > > to lovingly say to her what you need to say, in a way that> > > gives you peace and helps ease her mind and her pain later.> > > You will ease the way for her to say what she needs to> > > say, by being an approachable mother. Parenting's an> > > incredibly hard job, even when you're baby's 44.> > >> > > None of us knows exactly how long we'll be here, but> > > this disease gives us reason to begin grieving early. It> > > also teaches us to cherish the sanctity of life, and to> > > give to God what we cannot do for ourselves. You're in> > > my prayers.> > >> > > Hugs and blessings,> > > Gwynne IPF 7/04 listed for transplant 3/07 Texas> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > > Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.> > >> >> > > > > > > ---------------------------------> Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.>